Fourth Time’s the Charm!

Boy oh boy do we have egg on our face!

Remember when we were mercilessly ridiculing El Jefe, Captain Hussein “Rambo” McGutsy Call for being gutsy at all in making a decision that anybody with a pulse and two functioning synapses heck, even Jimmeh Cahd’uh would have made, stating that there was, most certainly, not a single commander-in-chief in our entire history that would have nixed bumping off Osama bin Fishsticks?

Yeah, well, we fucked up. We were wrong. So sue us.

Turns out Barry “One Man Army” Obam-bam actually did. Not just once in January, not just once again February, but a mind-fuckingly abnormally retarded three times total when he nixed it again in March. And then he tried to waffle a fourth time in May before he finally allowed himself to be dragged, kicking and screaming, off the golf course like a big, whiny, diapered baby so he could reluctantly watch Osama bin Sharkfood get his noggin asploded.

And all because that noted military expert, five star general and special ops specialist Valerie Jarrett, wouldn’t let him nod in assent to killing the motherfucking goat molester who’d murdered 3,000 of our countrymen.

Bitch, please!

“Mr. President. The son of a syphilitic whore who used civilian air liners as cruise missiles to murder thousands of Americans is located. All we need is the go ahead and we’ll take the fucker out.”

“Er, uh, ah, um, uh, uh… Valerie, what do you say? Is it OK with you?”

One month later:

“Mr. President. We’re all set again. Just give us the nod and we’ll wipe the haji fuck off the map.”

“Er, ahem, I mean, ah, breathalyzer, paralegals, uh, ayup, ah, erm, Valerie says I shouldn’t, so, I guess I can’t let you.”

One month later:

“Mr. President. For the third time, we’ve got him ready to ride the express train to hell. Now, with all due respect, don’t you think it’s time?”

“Sniffle, Val-Val says you’re just a bunch of big meanie-heads and she’s hid my binky and says I can’t have it back if I let you go do mean stuff, WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

Yet ANOTHER freaking month later:

“Oh fuck it all with that big cry-baby. Just go ahead and do it. Go find him when we’ve got boots on the ground so he can sit around sullenly and watch us do his job for him.”

Approximately three nano-seconds after Osama bin Guppy Chow has been dispatched to Hades, in front of sixteen microphones broadcast on all available frequencies in the nation:

Barry Hussein “Gutsy Call McTerminator” Ogabe: “And so I announce that I, after I’d crawled all over Poh-kee-stahn for weeks on my rippled abs, collecting intelligence so that I could track the scumbag down, escaping barely with my life on at least forty-five different occasions, once I had made it back to the United States undercover as a Saudi fisherman smuggling Val-u-rite to Riyadh and having personally fought off half an army group of bloodthirsty jihadis with nothing by my wits and my trusty pocket knife, I hijacked a black helicopter and flew it halfway across the world, I rappelled into Osama bin Laden’s compound and I felled thirty-seven hundred terrorists with my awesome roundhouse kick, the one I taught Chuck Norris by the way, and I strangled that vile terrorist in his own intestines. With both of my hands tied behind my back!!! Yeah, you’re welcome, America. Oh, and I’ll be reminding you every twenty minutes from now on until November.”

WHAT a guy!

Apart from the obvious humor in this, we can’t honestly say that we find it particularly comforting that the actual commander-in-chief is Valerie Jarett.

pay no attention to the wimp down the stairs

And, lest you put on your Misogynist Robe of Destruction (+5 against males), let us say for the record that, had Hillary Clinton been president now (OK, we’re going to have nightmares from just having typed that), we don’t as much as suspect that she’d have crawled off to some dumb staffer to ask for permission to take out one of the worst subhuman animals to have ever bothered the planet with its existence. She’d most likely have cackled her trademark cackle while giving the order and, for once, we wouldn’t have minded a bit.

Not one little bit.

Thatisall.

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LC LOBO
LC LOBO

This is like me building a Fortune 500 company, and asking the guy who scrapes shit out of the toilet how to run the damn thing. (Of course we all know that I didn’t build that, even though it has my name……) Can we get some people in office that are smarter than the shit scraped out of the toilet… Read more »

LC TerribleTroy
LC TerribleTroy

The only reason the green light was given was that they knew if they didn’t go someone at SOCOM would of probably leaked the info. The decision had nothing to do with the “right thing” and everything to do with political appearence. I’m willing to bet they even did some kinda poll to see how the op would be be… Read more »

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch

I have said this since the election of Zero: Hillary Clinton has more balls and more brains than that third-world Kenyan fuck and his entire administration combined! She would have looked at the imagery and said, “Give me a fucking harpoon and a cricket bat dipped in hot tar. I’ll be over there sodomizing that goat fucker before I spear… Read more »

LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard
LC Ogrrre - Imperial Heartless Bastard

It’s a shame Barry, Sr. didn’t do Stanley Ann in the old poop chute. Or, maybe he did, to produce such a floating turd like Ear Leader. Apparently, being Commander-in-Chief is even further above his pay grade than articulating an opinion on when life begins. Incompetent economically, incompetent militarily, incompetent oratorically, and from all accounts, incompetent athletically. Is there anything… Read more »

LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondent
LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondent

And, lest you put on your Misogynist Robe of Destruction (+5 against males), let us say for the record that, had Hillary Clinton been president now (OK, we’re going to have nightmares from just having typed that), we don’t as much as suspect that she’d have crawled off to some dumb staffer to ask for permission to take out one… Read more »

Mark12A
Mark12A

LC Ogrrre says: It’s a shame Barry, Sr. didn’t do Stanley Ann in the old poop chute. Or, maybe he did, to produce such a floating turd like Ear Leader. Maybe it was Frank Marshall Davis. Who knows? Apparently, being Commander-in-Chief is even further above his pay grade than articulating an opinion on when life begins. One wonders if the… Read more »

Orion
Orion

You kidding? If Hillary had been President, Osama’s body would’ve been found in some park after committing ‘suicide ‘ by shooting himself in the back of the head twice. There would be no investigation as it was obviously self-inflicted, despite the lack of blood anywhere near him.

I wonder if we can prosecute the President for Stolen Valor?

Orion

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.

Interesting photo there. The evil Queen Valjar with her dumme on her lap in the Charlie McCarthy positionl. Notice how her lips don’t even move when Little Barry speaks.

bruce
bruce

it was the military that found osama bin hiding, not the cia which can’t find it’s own ass with both hands.the military wanted to drop a couple of 2000lb bombs on the raghead and be done with it but val jarrett nixed that because of collateral damage.so the military had to send in troops when it did not need to… Read more »

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch

bruce says: it was the military that found osama bin hiding, not the cia which can’t find it’s own ass with both hands.the military wanted to drop a couple of 2000lb bombs on the raghead and be done with it but val jarrett nixed that because of collateral damage.so the military had to send in troops when it did not… Read more »

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.

And I thought taking 18 hours to make the “gutsy call” was bad enough.

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch says: Let’s get our facts straight, please. Yup, like that the military wanted to JDAM the bastard to his 72 raisins. Opposite is true. They wanted a confirmed Geronimo KIA and any intelligence at the compound. Unlike Ogabe they know that the war doesn’t end with one man’s death. Too bad SCOAMF was on… Read more »

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. @ #:

Well, to be fair, we still got plenty of intel from that particular raid. Holy shit, that was a treasure trove!!

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.
LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E.

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch @ #:
True, it was. Which is why telling the Haji’s we had it before we could REALLY do some serious damn damn with it is even worse.

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch

LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. @ #: I think the camel fuckers already knew we had it. They couldn’t have possibly expected us not to search the place top to bottom and exploit every single piece of evidence found in there. The good news is all that shit was classified, so there was no way they were going to… Read more »