About how businesses promise you the moon, then ignore you until they realize that you weren’t just the insignificant peasant that they thought they could screw over without consequences following.

Welcome to the Internets, douchebags, where everything you ever do to ream your customers up the Khyber Pass will be documented.

And no, we’re not particularly impressed with 1-800-Flowers finally caving in when they realized that the person they were trying to fuck over had the power to fuck back, because we know without a scintilla of a doubt that, had she been just another “nobody”, they’d have continued to lie, refuse to return her calls and basically just shouting “fuck you, serf” off the top of the roofs until she finally gave up trying to get them to fulfill their contractual obligations.

To impress us, they’d have had to put out a press release admitting that they were worthless, lying fucks deliberately trying to fuck their customers and that they thought they would get away with it until the publicity hit them, not to mention that they wouldn’t have lost a second of sleep over their douchebaggery if they had gotten away with it.

Then they’d have to commit ritual suicide in front of the cameras.

THEN we might consider ever doing business with them again, and this is one of those happy circumstances where we actually did use to do business with a company so we’re not just blowing smoke when we say that we’d sooner defecate on our sainted grandmother’s grave than ever give 1-800-Flowers our business again.

We love it when that happens. Just as we loved it when we called Sam’s Pack of Frauds to let them know that their selling us a car with a fucked up transmission that they blatantly lied about, followed up by them never following up on their promise to call us back to mediate our differences cost them $8,000 in body shop repairs after a hail storm that would otherwise have gone to them.

Sucks to be them. Welcome to the 21st century.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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July 24, 2012 06:06

By the way, did you hear about the cease and desist letter Jack Daniels sent to an author? This is dead opposite of what usually happens and JD is coming out as a corporate “Class act” in the way they handled trademark problem with an author. The general feeling is that the JD lawyer must have been heavily imbibing in… Read more »

single stack
single stack
July 24, 2012 20:25

It looks like the whole contest was a scam from the getgo. They obviously had no intention of paying off.