Death to Superfluous, Stupid Buttons

By which we mean those irritating “follow me on this”, “like this on that” and “recommend this on the other” cutesy little Failbook, Spoogele, Twatter and Bob knows what else buttons that seem to be infesting every single website His Imperial Majesty reads as of late.

They eff up the templates, choke up the browsers and delay load times to the point where we’ll be in a new ice age before His Majesty gets to finally read the content he was looking for as opposed to the pathetic blegs for attention that those wastes of electron buttons represent and no, us having to hunt around for plug-ins, switching browsers because one of them likes site A but not site B’s buttons every five minutes and generally speaking cursing up a storm does not make it more likely that we’ll come back.

Not that anybody should care, really.

Oh, and bonus point: Any reference to “Follow me on Twitter” on your site deducts an automatic 50 Respect and Maturity points as A) We don’t “follow” anybody who wasn’t nailed to a cross 2,000 years ago and B) Twitter is nothing but blogging for people with ADHD who can’t fucking spell to save their lives. (If u’ve evr rote anythg like this, u might b a #Twatter).


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Darth Venomous
Darth Venomous (@sgc284)
April 23, 2012 07:17

(If u’ve evr rote anythg like this, u might b a #Twatter).

Need to fix that “er” key, Sire.

Mark12A (@mark12a)
April 23, 2012 07:20

Personally, I’d like a “DISLIKE” button and perhaps a “FUCK YOU” button on facebook. I’m not holding my breath.

LC Jackboot IC/A
LC Jackboot IC/A (@lcjackboot)
April 23, 2012 08:51

A) We don’t “follow” anybody who wasn’t nailed to a cross 2,000 years ago

Absolutely, besides I can’t imagine having such a crush on anyone (other than the above) to the point where I need to know what they had for lunch for criminy sakes.

“Follow Me” indeed…..follow this……mheh..

April 23, 2012 10:48

I’m not a twit….
I don’t do twitter.
I am not on facebook….
I got a life.

LC ShadowFox
LC ShadowFox (@lc-shadowfox)
April 23, 2012 10:53

Hear hear!

Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan
Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan (@slightly-to-the-right-of-gingis-khan)
April 23, 2012 11:55

I’m on facebook. It’s an easy way to keep in contact with family and friends. Instant photos ond updates about their kids when I get the chance to check at 3 AM. Though I can see why people hate it, I’m with most folks here. I don’t care what you had for breakfast or what game you’re playing. I don’t… Read more »

LC TerribleTroy
LC TerribleTroy (@terribletroy)
April 23, 2012 12:20

A few months back my most trusted, respected friend suggested Facebook. I can’t do it. Something about facebook sets off my spidey sense. Certainly I can see some positive aspects, but really people….for the most part I don’t give a fuck. Guess thats my antisocial tendancies. Never even considered twitter . What pisses me off the most are the ads…flash… Read more »

April 23, 2012 13:01

Something about facebook sets off my spidey sense. Dead on target, Troy. I cannot explain it, but something deep in my gut told me to get the hell off, so deleting all my info months ago, signing out and off. Perhaps just paranoid, but those wanting to know my views or rat me out to God knows who……..farmville did nothing… Read more »

Cannon Fodder
Cannon Fodder (@cannon-fodder)
April 23, 2012 13:10

Don’t rag on failbook, the guys at might get upset about it …. :em05:

I actually get a kick out of the failbook section! But, I agree with you about the stupid follow me buttons. It is a ridiculous cry for attention.

Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere
Blackiswhite, Imperial Consigliere (@blackiswhite)
April 23, 2012 13:17

Twitter presents the difficult challenge of being witty in 140 characters or less.

Some do very well with that…Fred Thompson comes to mind, most do not.

But I have found that it is actually where most stories seem to be reported first anymore…you know…when you just can’t get the bad news fast enough.

ICD (@icd)
April 23, 2012 13:24

An add add-on for Firefox called “Ghostery” will get rid of many of those superfluous buttons, as long as you block them using the add-on.

LC Spare Parts
LC Spare Parts (@lc-spare-parts)
April 23, 2012 14:30

Not there and never will be. I don’t want followers. A few people I know are on it because after the wireless bill is paid, they’re broke. But the Kirov Renshaws are mildly amusing. I don’t click buttons because every time I did I got something other than what was being offered. Redirection should only be allowed for defunct sites… Read more »

LC MaxMomFL (@lc-maxmomfl)
April 23, 2012 21:29

Yes, I have “followers”…ducking…let me ‘splain. I am a “mom-blogger”. Who reads mom-blogs? Other mom-bloggers. We “link” with tools like Linky Followers, etc. in order to form similarly interested communities. I am part of ‘autism mom’, ‘home and garden’, ‘entrepreneurial’ and other communities. We have “blog hop parties”, “blog fests”, “blog gatherings” and other cutely-worded 21st century internet versions of… Read more »

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse (@secondmouse)
April 24, 2012 13:41

Here’s a little thought experiment for folks who might be trying to get a handle on how far our nation has fallen while preoccupied with social media, Kim Kardashian’s beachwear and Angry Birds logos on everything from candy bars to house shoes. Try, if you will, to imagine how Abraham Lincoln’s Facebook page would have looked. Can you see some… Read more »

April 24, 2012 13:53

Now this is a button in the making…..may seem OT, but Lovelock, bails on global warming.

maxxdog (@maxxdog)
April 24, 2012 19:23

Follow me all you want but be forewarned. I loves beans. Soups,baked, burritoes, whatever.
Fartbook baby.

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. (@lc-rurik)
April 26, 2012 10:04

LC TerribleTroy @ #: The worst is that new technique pioneered by “Vibrant”, with random words double-unerelined in green scatered throughout the text, so that you get a popup for some totally unrelated ad if your cursor veers even close to the word. To all website owners – look dumbfucks, I go to your site because I hope to read… Read more »

LC Xystus
LC Xystus (@xystus)
April 27, 2012 02:54

We don’t “follow” anybody who wasn’t nailed to a cross 2,000 years ago

I think we know your meaning, but under Tiberius that was a disturbingly common practice. Say what you will about Constantine, at least he put a stop to it.

LC Xystus
LC Xystus (@xystus)
April 27, 2012 02:59

LC HJ Caveman82952:

I would imagine all of us are on some kind of list just being Rotties…….

A list of potential leaders! :em01: