Christ, Do We REALLY Have to Give History Lessons Now?

It would appear so.

Listen, His Majesty is perfectly fine with having to fight back and prove that every liberal talking point out there is a flat out lie. It’s what we expect from them and, besides, proving them wrong is so damn easy. Not to mention enjoyable. Particularly when their heads start exploding.

But it does get a little tiresome when we have to take valuable time away from liberal-bashing to defend conservatives against attacks from their own side (at least as far as party label goes. Whether they’re really on the same side politically is very much up for debate), as is the case with MittensCoulterObamneyCareRINOstablishmentHotGas’s attacks on Newt Gingrich.

Listen, you MittensBots, there are plenty of things to legitimately attack Mr. Gingrich on, if you’re having trouble coming up with some due to your sub-nematode intellects and failing memories, we’ll be happy to help you out with our personal list that we’ve been gathering over the years, so could you please cut out the B.S. attacks based entirely on flatulence from the Community-Based Reality?

Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts. That ought to be enough, unless you MittensClones really want to give us yet another way to illustrate how you resemble the DNCMedia more and more in your increasingly pathetic and desperate attempts to push your Silky Pony across the finish line.

Cases in point: Gingrich was a horrible, ethically challenged crook back in the nineties. Rating? Pants on Fire. Here’s the real scoop, based on actual historical facts, as opposed to the partisan bleating and hysteria from the DNCMedia at the time who, apparently, are now considered Infallible Speakers of Truthâ„¢ by “pragmatic conservatives” rooting for Mittens ObamneyCare: Mr. Gingrich, being somebody to not take shit from anybody, more about that in example number 2 below, had no problem making enemies. Still doesn’t. Mainly because he has made it his mission in life to piss in the Establishment’s cereal. And of course his many enemies on the left but, then again, anybody who doesn’t worship Karl Marx is bound to get that. If the left doesn’t hate you, then you’re not a conservative in any shape, form or fashion.

Enter Gingrich, who just, we’re back in the last half of the nineties here, spearheaded wresting control of Congress from the NSDWP for the first time in decades. The liberal fascists were not happy about that. Then enter the original source of the ethics case that the MittBots are using now to attack him, an alcoholic ex-actor who used to play Cooter on Dukes of Hazard who was upset that Gingrich had taken his Congressional seat away from him. Yes, that’s the kind of person that Mittens McCoulterCareHotGas are basing their entire “case” on. A “case” that came down to Gingrich teaching a course paid for by a tax-exempt organization, a course that, according to the unimpeachable testimony of Cooter of Dukes of Hazard fame and glory, was partisan and therefore couldn’t be subsidized by a tax-exempt organization.

The liberal fascists in Congress as well as their wholly owned subsidiaries in the DNCMedia ran like the wind with it. Unexpectedly. Yes, that was sarcasm. Of course, all of the RINOcracy wimps whom Gingrich had offended in the past by exposing them as Establishment Play Along to Get Along stooges of the DNC didn’t exactly have a problem with their nemesis getting caught in the crossfire, so they ran with it too. Much like the TWANLOC RINOs of today who are trying to get that dead horse up for a second lap. After years of trying to fight his ship from both sides, Gingrich finally had enough of the bull, who needs having to fight your allegedly own party as well as your enemies?, threw his hands up and left. Can’t blame him. And if any of you are seeing some similarities to the more recent situation of a certain lady from Alaska who is being called a “quitter” for having had enough of being stabbed in the back, then you are paying attention.

You’re waiting for the punch line, aren’t you? Well here it is: The IRS couldn’t just stop their investigation into this alleged case of tax fraud, of course, so they went on to digging up every detail they could find, turning every stone over, and if you’ve ever found yourself under the IRS’s microscope, then you know the kind of diligence they can show when they smell a chance of putting somebody on the hook for extra payments into the DC slush fund. If only the GOP would show the same kind of diligence in vetting the candidates they try to foist on us every election, but we digress.

The conclusion of the Clinton IRS after having done all they could to find some wrongdoing? There WAS no wrongdoing, none whatsoever. No, they didn’t say “we don’t have enough of a case”, they openly stated that there wasn’t a case to begin with. Nothing, none, zip, nada. The years of shrieking from the Witch Hunter Generals of the DNC, the DNCMedia and the RINOcracy were all based on, wait for it, absolutely nothing.

Except for the testimony of an alkie Democrat with a B-actor past, that is.

Obviously, this exoneration was not reported in the DNCMedia at all. They had their scalp, and so did the RINOcracy, so who gives a shit? Other than people interested in facts, that is.

Obviously, you don’t have to take the word of the Clinton IRS for this, even though it’s hard to think of anybody with more motive for coming up with a guilty verdict for a conservative, so why don’t you go read the testimony of somebody who was there? Seriously, go read it all. It fills in all of the dirty details of the witch hunt and you’ll walk away a more knowledgeable individual.

OK, that’s Mittens McObamaClone’s first attack. Now he’s rolling out the “Reagan hated Newt and Newt didn’t think much of Reagan either” attack which, we have to admit, is kind of funny coming from a candidate who spent his entire political career in the mid-nineties emphatically emphasizing, over and over again, how he was most definitely NOT a Reagan Conservative. But, then again, he had a campaign to run and, as he said when he talked to the gardening company hiring illegals to work for him: “I can’t have illegals! I’m running for president, for Pete’s sake!”

Again: This is utter and complete bullshit. This time, we can’t just summarize the salient points, you’re going to have to read it yourself but, again, the testimony that you’ll hopefully find the time to read comes not from a Mittens operative, but from somebody who was actually there during the Reagan years. On the inside. With the Gipper. Watching a relative nobody named Gingrich immediately enter the Reagan Revolution’s A Team.

Which is pretty impressive, considering that he was barely dry behind the ears as a Congressman in a Congress filled with old veteran GOP players who had been in Congress for decades when he was a freshman. Attack dog and member of the starting lineup for Ronald Reagan’s team? Not bad, if you ask us, particularly when you compare it to a spineless, perfectly coiffed fuck from Massachusetts who spent those years distancing himself from the Gipper any way he could to get a sinecure job as a career politician. Oh, and who lost, by the way. Repeatedly. Because not even liberal Taxachusettsians are dumb enough to not spot a phony when they see one. You have to be a member of the Hot Gas staff to be that retarded.

We find it particularly amusing, having read the article that you should, nay MUST read if you want the actual facts as opposed to the talking points from the Mittens campaign and the DNCMedia (but we repeat ourself), that one of the salient points in their attack on Gingrich’s “non-Reagan-ness” is one line of the Gipper’s memoirs mentioning how Newt’s opposition to taxes could hurt our arms race with the Soviet Union. Why is that funny? It’s funny because Newt, as a young attack dog, was pissing the RINOcracy off something fierce by refusing to let the Establishment take the necessity of U.S. superiority, militarily, out of the party platform. Pissed Bob Dole (you may have heard of that loser) clean off. Of course, he was already pissed off at Newt for sabotaging his (Dole’s) attempts to keep tax increases as a possibility in the GOP platform.

If you ask us, he pissed all of the right people off. And apparently the Gipper agreed, since he kept him on his team of attack dogs.

Now compare all of this to Mittens ObamneyCare, whose sole accomplishments for conservatism are… Sorry, could you help an Imperial Brother out here, because we got nuttin’.

No, Gingrich is NOT the candidate that we were wanting. Did he show questionable morals in his marriages? Did he fuck up on Pelosi’s couch? Did his “right-wing social engineering” comment piss us clean off? Yes, yes and yes, and those are only a few of the legitimate points you can bring up against him. We will defend NONE of them because, in order to do so, we would have to twist ourself into the same Gordian knots of intellectual dishonesty that the Hot Gas ObamneyBots currently find themselves in, trying to paint Mittens as a Paragon of Conservatismâ„¢ when he has done not a single thing in his entire useless existence to prove it. He’s an opportunist career politician who will say anything to get elected (and who, by the way, sucks at it since he tends to lose every race he runs in), a store front mannequin with about as much integrity as Billy Jeff Blow Job, and we may have to apologize to Billy Jeff for that comparison, so don’t piss down our Imperial Back and tell us that it’s raining. He’s a one-man disaster zone, the Epitome of Phony, a clown who makes used car salesmen look like saints and a back-stabbing traitor to boot.

At least Gingrich has a two decades long history of actually accomplishing something for conservatism. Yes, he’s fucked up in his statements numerous times, but he’s never been afraid to admit that he did so. He’s also never been afraid to enter a fight, go against the grain and piss off the ones that needed to be pissed off.

But, bottom line: If you don’t like him, and there are plenty of good reasons to not like him, we respect that. We’re probably in agreement on about 99% of the cases.

But could we stick to the damn facts here, please?

To put it another way, a rule of thumb that has served us well over the years: If you ever, EVER find yourself on the same side as the DNCMedia’s talking points, you need to really, really start wondering if you forgot to take your brain out of the night stand drawer this morning when you woke up.


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LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology
LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology
January 26, 2012 16:07

Does His Imperialness have any theories as to why Coulter is evidently shilling for Romney?

LC Jackboot IC/A
LC Jackboot IC/A
January 26, 2012 16:09

Boss- You been reading my notes? Either that or we have another example of parallel thinking. There is NO level that the Obamney zombies won’t stoop to get their boy into the finals. I’m an increasingly sickened by the fucking attacks from both of them using free market capitalism as the evil, nasty, foe of all. This from alleged conservatives?… Read more »

January 26, 2012 16:41

LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology @ #: Does His Imperialness have any theories as to why Coulter is evidently shilling for Romney? I am wondering the same thing. First Gov. Christy who also has deep RINO tendencies and no Mittens. When did she climb into the fridge? Or has she been replaced by an evil Peggy Noonan like pod… Read more »

LC&IB Vulcanrider, MSgt, USAF, Ret
LC&IB Vulcanrider, MSgt, USAF, Ret
January 26, 2012 16:59

And what about Drudge? Almost all of his links today were anti-Newt. And most of them covered the exact point that set the Emperor off… :em03:

January 26, 2012 17:21

Does His Imperialness have any theories as to why Coulter is evidently shilling Fluffing for Romney?

Fixed it for ya.

Elephant Man
Elephant Man
January 26, 2012 18:19

Oh brother.

Now the Mittens Posse and the RINOs are trotting out Bob Dole to extol the evils of that loose cannon, Newt Gingrich.

This is getting friggin’ ridiculous. 🙄

Give me a break. Bob Dole is a RINO to end all RINOS.

Elephant Man
Elephant Man
January 26, 2012 18:20
LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An
LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An
January 26, 2012 20:47

An explanation of Ann Coulter’s turn to the dark side may be what I have heard [with some confirmation during an interview on Sean Hannity last July] that she is now …. involved … with Bill Maher. She has, I believe, referred to Liberalism as a disease. It would seem that she has been exposed and infected. As far as… Read more »

January 26, 2012 20:52

It’s obvious – if Newt does manage to become prez, too many of Coulter’s buds will be sent down the road, leaving her to scramble for new material. She and her kind simply don’t care what gets into the White House as long as they can sell books. I don’t care for the little weasel myself but many of the… Read more »

LC TerribleTroy
LC TerribleTroy
January 26, 2012 21:17

. Now I have to deal with blatant lies and manipulation from our supposed “own”? Fuck it……just fuck it! Buy more ammo and get ready. Cause the shit really needs to hit the fan. There is a reason we targeted certain “journalists” and “priests” in central america…..BECAUSE IT WORKED! The fucking Socialists and their collaborators need to go, they aren’t… Read more »

LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
January 26, 2012 22:49

LC TerribleTroy says:

Buy more ammo and get ready

What the fuck you think us (flat ground, corn and soybean fields) Hilljacks been doin?

I all ready said I am writing in Fred Thompson, and sittin back, keeping my powder dry and my bang sticks true, waiting for the fun to begin.

I am done with all of these Clownshoes :em08:

January 27, 2012 00:13

Once again the Republication Establishment, with the help of the Obongo propaganda machine (congrats Herr Goebbels your lessons have been well learned by our enemies) are forming the circular firing squad with conservatives in the middle.

January 27, 2012 00:55

I CAN’T buy guns and ammo; it’s illegal where I live to even own a gun.

I agree with you, Emperor, but what about Newt’s working for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac?

LC TerribleTroy
LC TerribleTroy
January 27, 2012 08:14

Lc ORWN engine builder for Rottie Racing says: What the fuck you think us (flat ground, corn and soybean fields) Hilljacks been doin? How the fuck would I have any clue as to what the fuck you’ve been or not been doing? It was friendly advice and nothing more. I will also remind you that I happen to be a… Read more »

January 27, 2012 11:38

I live in northern Alabama, and have a backhoe and a .308 rifle, and know how to use them both. One hopes our county sheriff will get on board with the oathkeeper’s thing, but I’ve got clear fields of fire. As far as Newt and Fannie Mae go, if they offered me money to do a legaland ethical job I’d… Read more »

LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
January 27, 2012 14:54

LC TerribleTroy says:

My apologies if I misread your tone. I am not a morning person, If I didn’t misread your tone, them I respectfully suggest you save it for the enemy. I got no beef with you.

Yeah, you did misread my tone, but no need to say you are sorry, I should have made myself clear