We Sometimes Wonder Why the Fuck the Troops Even Bother

…protecting the rights of astoundingly asinine apes like this one to make an utter clownshoe of himself while, at the same time, insulting the troops to which he owes the freedom to do so. Oh, and thanks Angry Webmaster, for making our Imperial Blood Pressure spike so early. Sincere thanks, also, for your excellent Fisking of the fuckwidget which leaves not a lot for us to chew on, but since when did that stop us?

Thomas Walker is a lecturer in the intensive English and orientation program

Thomas Walker is also a wholly useless sack of shit whose ignorant bleatings remind us, once again, that nature stopped selecting for intelligence a long, long time ago.

I read in Tuesday’s Iowa State Daily that the College Republicans have begun collecting sundries for U.S. soldiers serving in Afghanistan and Iraq. Why? Doesn’t the U.S. Army victual its soldiers?

The first question that any halfway decent human being (and you fail on both counts) ought to ask is this: Why the fuck NOT and, more importantly, why is it of such paramount importance to your envious, scrawny little arse where the charity of volunteers is directed? Why do you think, you mewling muttfucker, it’s any of your business to begin with?

Yes, the U.S. Army (and all of the other branches, but we don’t expect a tenured tumblefuck like you to have ever heard that there are any others) does “victual” its soldiers. By the way, put the thesaurus down and step away from it. You’re only making yourself look foolish. However, the food, while certainly containing all of the necessary nutrients to keep our men and women healthy and strong, is hardly inspiring. Not quite the Four Seasons gourmet fare that your beloved Marxist-in-Chief and his First Wookie insist on gorging themselves on every chance they get.

Don’t their families send them yuletide goodies?

Assuming that they have families and that said families haven’t been rendered destitute by your Ear Leader’s miserable failures, yes. But does that matter and, if so, why?

Aren’t GIs paid enough to buy what they need, and even what they want?

That one is easy to answer: No, they aren’t. Unless their needs and wants are very modest indeed. Quite a bit more modest than your worthless tenured carcass’, we’re sure. But, then again, unlike you they’re not in it for the money. Some people choose to answer a higher calling so that ungrateful, swinish, petty pissants like yourself can whine in peace, safe under the blanket of protection that their sacrifice provides.

“As Republicans we believe in charity,” stated Jeremy Freeman, a member of the College Republicans. Donating toiletries, boxed and canned foods, socks and beanies to U.S. soldiers who can already deodorize themselves, who eat better than the poorest Americans

Back up there, Buckwheat, because you’re getting dangerously close to passing the event horizon of a Singularity of Stoopid™. They eat better than the “poorest” Americans who, coincidentally, would qualify as “middle to upper middle class” where His Imperial Majesty comes from and we do not exactly hail from a third world nation?

Here’s a proposal: How about you switch from whatever it is you stuff your pie hole with now to nothing but MREs, day in and day out. Then, after three months, switch to what you can buy with food stamps which, you might be interested to know, we’ve learned includes such viciously boring gruel as live lobsters and crab legs. Then tell us which is “better.”

and who are gallantly garbed, is an eleemosynary travesty.

Didn’t we just tell you to step away from that thesaurus? Do you really want it deposited where it will take a team of proctologists three days to extract it? Do you really think that using an obscure synonym for “relating to charity” makes you look clever? Here’s a hint: All it shows is that you’re an arrogant prick who has somehow managed to Google his way to thesaurus.com.

Necessities should be doled out to people who really need them

Necessities should be doled out to whoever the people who own said necessities bloody well want to dole them out to, your subretarded input notwithstanding.

and who might get them if not for the hundreds of billions of dollars being funneled to the Pentagon in the greatest squandering of money on the planet. If anything, Republicans should sympathize with veterans struggling to find employment, a challenge that may daunt the discharged soldier, who might wish he had reenlisted.

And Republicans don’t sympathize with veterans? Is that so? That’s certainly news to us. We must have dreamed up all of those fundraisers for veterans we’ve participated in over the years. So your contention is that we should ignore our troops while they’re actually fighting for us so we can better help them if they manage to get home? Is that it? Are you a complete idiot? That, by the way, was a rhetorical question. Use your mad Google skills to look it up.

Yes, you odoriferous twat, we evil conservatives actually can chew gum and walk at the same time. It’s not all that hard and it’s never too late to start. You should try it out sometime.

And what alternate reality do you live in (we know, it’s the community-based one that we keep hearing of) where somehow being a veteran doesn’t help you getting a job (unless it’s at a liberal “think” tank, of course)?

Finally, for all that you claim that we don’t do for our veterans, at least we don’t spit at them and call them “baby-killers.”

Soldiers are to Republicans as fetuses are to them: prized. But once out of the womb-like army, Republican solicitude for hapless veterans goes where extracted zygotes go.

That’s odd. Extracting viable zygotes from the womb wasn’t in our party platform last we checked. Did somebody add it while we weren’t looking or are you just speaking out of your ignorant rectum again?

“We get to show the troops we still appreciate what they’re doing for us,” said another College Republican. What are they doing for us? Nothing.

Other than risking their lives to protect the rights of utterly useless wastes of skin like you to piss on them while being underpaid and eating dreadfully droll food? Not much at all, nope.

So what have you done for us, Tommy? Come on, we have all day. What vital function do you fill in our society? Just how, exactly, would this nation be worse off if you were to, we don’t know, end up in the concrete of a new high rise? Still waiting. Come on. Surely you can think of something?

But against us they’re doing a lot: creating anti-American terrorists in the countries they occupy.

Oh yes. They alone are to blame for the terrorists who murdered 3,000 of our countrymen on 9/11 and continue to murder or attempt to murder them to this very day. Damn, they practically caused 9/11 retroactively. You see, the 19 pisslamists knew this was going to happen, so they murdered those people in advance for future crimes of the U.S. Armed Forces.

Said the same College Republican, “It can’t be fun to be away from your family for the holidays. As if American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan had been conscripted? They chose to leave home.

It’s odd, isn’t it? At least to some waste of oxygen like you. That somebody would voluntarily go do what they do because they believe in it? Why, every single one of the socialist dystopias that you worship had to force their population, at gunpoint, to go do the same, so clearly there’s something wrong with those baby-killing U.S. soldiers who really deserve all they get, having started it all in the first place.

Or maybe it’s just that those volunteers are volunteering because they found something actually worth fighting for?

Why do Republicans care so much about the military?

Easy. Well, it used to be easy. Because the military protects our right to express ourselves freely without fear of some tyrant herding us into a Gulag. Here lately, though, realizing that they’re protecting the likes of you, too, we’re beginning to wonder ourself.

Because the military-industrial complex is dear to their simplistic laissez-faire fantasies: a bottom-line patriotism that excludes the people at the bottom.

Put down the Chomsky as well because, we swear, if we have to hear about the “military-industrial complex” one more time, we’re going to not be responsible for our own actions.

And, once again, it’s not people at the bottom we have a problem with. As a matter of fact we care a great deal about them and their opportunities to work their way away from the bottom.

The ones we don’t really give a flying fuck at a rolling donut about are the overpaid, underworked, worthless asses whose only “contribution” to society is to insult those who care about somebody other than themselves.

Yes, that would be you, Tommy.

Now go move to Cuba before we finally tire of your petulant whining and decide to do something about it. To think that even one solitary U.S. soldier died for your sake is making us sick to our stomach. We’d gladly exterminate the whole sorry lot of Thomas Walkers in this world if it brought one, just ONE U.S. serviceman or woman back.

And we wouldn’t lose one bit of sleep over it either, because it would be one heck of a deal.


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December 9, 2011 18:13

Very nice and I do apologize about the blood pressure. I can give you some of my pills my doctor just put me on. (I used to have low normal BP, but since Obama and his thugs came in, well…) This was a nice appetizer for the fine meal my wife made me. I don’t know what it is, however,… Read more »

December 9, 2011 20:05

Why do we do it? Because there’s still a man out there.

Black Hawk Down last speech

December 9, 2011 21:19

Admittedly, the chow for the troops IS better now than it once was (I can remember C-rations, and those godawful K-ration bars. . . ), but it’s still limited and gifts from home are ALWAYS appreciated by the troops. I know, I have several photos on the wall of my man-cave from outfits me and my friends have supported over… Read more »

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse
December 9, 2011 21:35

It is good that the occasional uber-liberal flames out in such a spectacular fashion every now and then. When one of their number takes their ideology to its internally consistent extreme, they help to illustrate the fundamental idiocy and arrogant detachment of the whole lot. I hope there are a lot of spectators for this wreck. Remember the tool at… Read more »

LC Gunsniper
LC Gunsniper
December 9, 2011 21:45

Because the military-industrial complex…

The Nineteen Fifties called…

They want their worn out cliché back.

December 9, 2011 22:30

Seems to me I heard that the New York State Soviet is saying they WON’T be ABLE to get absentee ballots to our military in time.

Here we go again: didn’t they pull this shit in ’08? hell, in Every Election?

LC Thresher
LC Thresher
December 10, 2011 00:07

On behalf of the State of Iowa, I would like to apologize to all LCs and non-Rottie patriots everywhere for this asshole’s fucktarded comments. The university president has already been inundated by angry mail from around the state and nation, but feel free to pile on yourselves. I already have.

NR Pax
NR Pax
December 10, 2011 05:38

I’m going to have a slightly dissenting opinion here folks. Bear with me. I don’t have a problem with this man. In fact, not only do I want him to keep this up, I want more lefties like him to speak their minds like this. You know why? Because there have been reports that ever since his letter went public,… Read more »

LC Draco
LC Draco
December 10, 2011 09:12

@angrywebmaaster and MIsha, Care packages are a serious part of the overall support of our troops. (Remember “We support our troops, but are against the war!” bullshit? You would think ‘they’ would WANT to send care packages to substantiate that claim!) But again, this asshat has no clue what soldiers actually GO thru in the box. Yes, the food is… Read more »

Madam President
Madam President
December 10, 2011 09:47

Jesus FUCK, what a pretentious ASS!

LC Roguetek
LC Roguetek
December 10, 2011 12:07

On a -completely- unrelated note..


St Louis PD gets it right….

December 10, 2011 13:07

LC Roguetek @ #:
And in another totally unrelated, but guaranteed blood pressure spiking story, that waste of time in Durban has come up with a draft treaty that only Hitler or Stalin would love.
UN wants a world Climate Court

December 10, 2011 17:42

And I just spotted an interesting IP address in my users online page: NetRange: – CIDR: OriginAS: AS2698 NetName: CYCLONENET NetHandle: NET-129-186-0-0-1 Parent: NET-129-0-0-0-0 NetType: Direct Assignment RegDate: 1988-03-17 Updated: 2007-05-07 Ref: http://whois.arin.net/rest/net/NET-129-186-0-0-1 OrgName: Iowa State University OrgId: IAST Address: Academic Information Technologies Address: 291 Durham Hall City: Ames StateProv: IA PostalCode: 50011 Country: US RegDate: 1988-03-17… Read more »

FrJim, Imperial Chaplain
FrJim, Imperial Chaplain
December 10, 2011 18:14

Mr. Walker speaks whereof he doesn’t understand.

I’ve observed something over the last ten years. Liberals who don’t serve their beloved Federal Government in military service seem to be among the first to stand up and snivel about said patriots. Liberals who DO serve seem unable to muster a critique.

Hence, I recommend reinstating the draft…for Liberals only.


LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
December 10, 2011 23:53

My apologies for being off topic ..

Here’s another reason to not support Mitt Romney

(And yes I’m a Mormon saying this)

Romney violated a MAJOR tenet of Mormon faith by doing his 10K wager tonight

And yes, the Church has taken action against Mormons who do such things. You can get disfellowshipped or even excommunicated if it continues.

December 11, 2011 04:35

Lt. Weinberg: Why do you like them so much?

Galloway: Because they stand on a wall and say, “Nothing’s going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch.”

(A Few Good Men)

‘Nuff said.

Elephant Man
Elephant Man
December 11, 2011 06:31

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist @ #: From what I gathered, it struck me as a “heat of the moment” remark to shut Perry up and I don’t think he’ll be tossing out any more wagers in the future. He’s standing by it now because if he retracts it the mantra will be that Perry got him flustered. On… Read more »

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
December 11, 2011 11:14

Elephant Man @ #:

Heat of the moment is understandable .. and I’m not looking at it from a wealth standpoint, it’s a basic violation of what we believe .. but then again given Romney’s lack of convictions I’m not completely surprised

LC Proud Infidel
LC Proud Infidel
December 11, 2011 11:25

To all the slobbering,nutsack-kissing liberal lackeys that spout shit like that – FUCK YOU!! But hey, the more the left shows its colors like that, the more real people reject them and their causes! Having been deployed twice myself, I can tell y’all firsthand that care packages are one helluva morale booster. We received packages from Operation Gratitude to name… Read more »

Igor, Imperial Booby
Igor, Imperial Booby
December 11, 2011 11:45

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist @ #15:
Sir Intellectual,
If the Bretheren do not see fit to can Mr. Reid’s miserable @$$, why would they do Mitt’s?
If *I* were Dingy Harry’s Bishop, he would’ve been canned A Loooooong Time Ago. He supports abortion, for Pete’s sake! Among other things he’s going to have to account for…

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
December 11, 2011 11:46

Igor, Imperial Booby @ #:

That’s a valid point that didn’t occur to me …. damn my brain is slowing down … thank you for pointing that out sir 🙂

LC FORGER - Monster Hunter
LC FORGER - Monster Hunter
December 11, 2011 18:16

Why do we do it??

“We fight not because we hate what is in front of us but because we love those that are behind us.”

December 11, 2011 18:32

Holeee CRAP. Did anyone else see how See-BS turned the Army – Navy game into a Hussein Obama Campaign Commercial???? Even having the Marxist Muslim Racist Queen come into the commentary booth to JOIN the color commenters???? I mean, What the Fuckety Fucking Fuck???? I was so enraged that I turned the damned thing off, even though it was the… Read more »

December 11, 2011 21:13

These people seem pretty bold in their comments when they can hide behind the internet. If, say, duelling were legal in this country, these asswipes would be way more polite. Or they’d be stinking up a hole someplace.

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
December 12, 2011 04:05

‘It Isnt Fascism when the Left does it’ CA DEM State Senator tries to blackmail Lowe’s over pulling their ads from American Muslim Link to my Twitter which has the Fox News link Enraged yet? We have another Dem politician threatening a company that is doing what it has every legal right to do – decide where its ad money… Read more »

LC Draco
LC Draco
December 12, 2011 14:26

LC Roguetek @ #:

An AWESOME example of Information and Psychological Warfare!! (And I could throw COIN in there, too!)

LC Proud Infidel
LC Proud Infidel
December 13, 2011 10:14

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist @ #:
I already do plenty of shopping at Lowe’s, amd I’m definitely gonna keep it up, HEY, will this mean I’ll see a lot fewer ragheads in there now?