Via Bill Quick.

INDIANAPOLIS — A customer standing in line at an east side Indianapolis auto parts store shot a suspected armed robber demanding cash, police said.

Investigators said John Perry fired his handgun and struck Carlos Ortiz, 21, in the leg at the Auto Zone in the 1100 block of North Arlington Avenue Saturday.

And there was much rejoicing! Yaaaaaaaay!

“This is a rare occurrence, and I would encourage anyone who finds themselves in a position where a robbery may be occurring to actually comply with what the suspect is asking for. This is not typical. However, in this particular situation, it seems to have worked out for everyone involved,” [police spokeswoman] Cummings said.

And before you unload on poor Mrs. Cummings, kindly keep in mind that this is the sort of boilerplate she has to dish out. Imagine if a police spokesperson somewhere had stated, for the record, that everybody ought to start shooting in a situation like that. Then, when the inevitable “self defense gone bad” situation occurs in which an innocent gets shot instead of the goblin, the trial lawyers will descend like flies on shit to sue the police department for having “encouraged the kind of vigilantism that led to such a tragic outcome.”

His Imperial Majesty has no doubt that Mrs. Cummings fully approves of Mr. Perry’s actions in this case and her closing comment reinforces that, in our opinion. She just can’t say it out loud.

Most of the other customers interviewed agreed that Mr. Perry did a Good Thing™ but, as is always the case where people are assembled, there were the obligatory dumbfucks present too:

“I think it’s terrible, I really do. I don’t think people should be allowed to carry guns,” one customer said.

Much better to be robbed blind by armed criminals, of course.

“(Perry) should have called the police. I don’t think it’s right for people to carry all these guns. It’s a crazy world,” Mabreeward said.

It certainly isn’t right for criminals to be carrying guns, but obviously you have less of a problem with that than you have with Mr. Perry carrying one so he could save your ungrateful, stupid arse.

Perhaps he should, instead, have drawn his weapon, asked all Gun Control supporters to stand in one side of the store and then told the criminal to he could go ahead and rob them, but if he as much as thought of taking something from anybody else, he’d get a faceful of hot lead. That way everybody could have their way and the GFWs could always call the police after the goblin had left.

See? We’re all about compromise, we really are!


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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October 18, 2011 11:53

Customer Sharon Mabreeward said “Baaa” Somehow, I suspect that someone she lives in her own “paradise”, populated by one, that exists solely in her own mind. Welcome to your first experience of reality. Study in stupity and you get the “A”! Dumb c**t.


October 18, 2011 12:20

“… it seems to have worked out for everyone involved…”

Well, yes, except for young Mr. Ortiz, Mrs. Cummings. But we’re okay with that.

LC Draco
October 18, 2011 16:03

Sounds like Mr. Perry needs more time at the range…..hit him in the leg?

And as far as Sharon Mabreeward, yeah….call for a cop, an ambulance, and a pizza and see which you get first!!!

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher
October 18, 2011 22:33

LC Draco @ #:3
Most certainly does. His first shot took out the stores front window. Serious sloppy shooting.

Igor, Imperial Booby
Igor, Imperial Booby
October 19, 2011 15:52

What is it with these dipweed loony bystanders that thinks that reality trumps their own little worldview?!? If somebody was getting mauled by an animal I’m sure she’d come back with some sort of idiocy that the person being mauled is mistreating “that poor animal” or some such crap. Von Zorch, for sure the guy wasn’t AIMING before pulling the… Read more »

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
October 20, 2011 21:05

Sight picture, breath control, press the trigger smoothly. LEG?!?! Recoil anticipation? Practice much?