Loyal Citizens 1, Stupid Goblins 0

Via Bill Quick.

INDIANAPOLIS — A customer standing in line at an east side Indianapolis auto parts store shot a suspected armed robber demanding cash, police said.

Investigators said John Perry fired his handgun and struck Carlos Ortiz, 21, in the leg at the Auto Zone in the 1100 block of North Arlington Avenue Saturday.

And there was much rejoicing! Yaaaaaaaay!

“This is a rare occurrence, and I would encourage anyone who finds themselves in a position where a robbery may be occurring to actually comply with what the suspect is asking for. This is not typical. However, in this particular situation, it seems to have worked out for everyone involved,” [police spokeswoman] Cummings said.

And before you unload on poor Mrs. Cummings, kindly keep in mind that this is the sort of boilerplate she has to dish out. Imagine if a police spokesperson somewhere had stated, for the record, that everybody ought to start shooting in a situation like that. Then, when the inevitable “self defense gone bad” situation occurs in which an innocent gets shot instead of the goblin, the trial lawyers will descend like flies on shit to sue the police department for having “encouraged the kind of vigilantism that led to such a tragic outcome.”

His Imperial Majesty has no doubt that Mrs. Cummings fully approves of Mr. Perry’s actions in this case and her closing comment reinforces that, in our opinion. She just can’t say it out loud.

Most of the other customers interviewed agreed that Mr. Perry did a Good Thing™ but, as is always the case where people are assembled, there were the obligatory dumbfucks present too:

“I think it’s terrible, I really do. I don’t think people should be allowed to carry guns,” one customer said.

Much better to be robbed blind by armed criminals, of course.

“(Perry) should have called the police. I don’t think it’s right for people to carry all these guns. It’s a crazy world,” Mabreeward said.

It certainly isn’t right for criminals to be carrying guns, but obviously you have less of a problem with that than you have with Mr. Perry carrying one so he could save your ungrateful, stupid arse.

Perhaps he should, instead, have drawn his weapon, asked all Gun Control supporters to stand in one side of the store and then told the criminal to he could go ahead and rob them, but if he as much as thought of taking something from anybody else, he’d get a faceful of hot lead. That way everybody could have their way and the GFWs could always call the police after the goblin had left.

See? We’re all about compromise, we really are!

Thatisall.