Reporter: Welcome to the new California Irony processing plant, just completed this year and now up and running.
What can you tell us about the plant?
Joe Hardhat: Well, lately the amount of irony being found is so large that we decided to build this here new plant, seeing we no longer need to dig very deep. In fact we just use this here CAT D993K to scoop it off the ground and dump it into that there blast furnace, where it is converted to MAGA Steel.
Reporter: Ugh! Not sure there is a market for that, but what powers this operation and blast furnace?
Joe Hardhat: We use a plentiful supply of naturally produced BS which is a waste product, burned over in the power plant to generate electricity, then use coal, also plentiful and natural, to fire the furnace.
Reporter: But, but, but, Coal is dirty and smelly, why would you use that instead of Natural Gas?
Joe Hardhat: Well, we would have used natural gas, except for the fact that all natural gas drilling has been suspended by regulation and pipelines being closed as a result, but trains from Wyoming are operating thanks to the unions getting more time off, so here we are. Of course the price of coal has gone up to cover inflation and increased wages, so the finished product will also cost more.
Reporter: How was the plant operator which is I believe the Trump & Sons Company, able to get the facility approved? This is California and Gov. Newsome is not known for supporting “dirty” industries.
Joe Hardhat: Well, that is above my pay grade, but you could say that our management team hired the Pelosi & Boxer investment company to handle the process. I am sure that the cost of that was well under 10% of profit after taxes.
Reporter: So there you have it folks, a new source of revenue for the state of California, generating ever greater numbers of MAGA Steel consumers, Joe here says the future is so bright he is already wearing Ray Bans, just like that guy currently (sometimes) in the Oval office.
Do they have any updates on when the new alloy, Ultra MAGA steel will be available?
I think that is scheduled for November 9th, 2022 😉