Saint Peter don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go,
I owe my soul to the company store.

On this day, back when “centurion” was a rank and not a main battle tank, a future despot entered the world for the first time, noticed that the weather was 20 below with a 100% chance of blizzards, and immediately made a solemn oath that he was going to make the world really bloody sorry for giving him such a miserable welcome, even if it took him the rest of his life.

And so it began. The young Emperor grew up, never missing an opportunity to make somebody, somewhere feel bloody horrid. Much remains to be done, we’re told that small enclaves of individuals as of yet un-insulted by our derision and disgust still manage to live their wretched, unimportant lives untouched by our withering scorn and sarcasm, but we’ll get to those eventually. As sure as day follows night. Believe us we will.

In the meantime, feel free to offer your most heartfelt congratulations and/or pleas for mercy in the comments while pounding the shit out of the Vodka Appreciation Fund Button on the left sidebar.

Happy Emperor Day, Rotties.

Bar’s open!

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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut
Guest
January 15, 2011 12:41

Well then I guess I will have some Sam Adams, and by some I mean 12

LC PrimEviL
LC PrimEviL
Guest
January 15, 2011 12:52

A happy birthday, Your Vileness, and many more to come. *hoists glass* Prosit!!

franklaughter
Guest
January 15, 2011 13:02

Heartfelt congratulations, yes! And I will join you in one or three.

BC, Imperial Torturer
Admin
January 15, 2011 13:04

Crap. I just came over to finally break my string of post-less days when I saw this at the top of the page. I’ll just post the link here and give you a hearty laugh to brighten up your special day. :em93:

“Bunden i vejret eller resten i hĂĄret “ :em03: :em03:

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
Guest
January 15, 2011 13:05

Happy Birthday, My Liege .. you don’t look a day over 30 🙂

Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery
Guest
January 15, 2011 13:36

Happy Birfday Emperor, I hope the Mead hall stays open late tonight…….

Looks like the new Repub majority hasn’t learned a damned thing

meet the new boss……same as the old boss

LC HJ Caveman82952
LC HJ Caveman82952
Guest
January 15, 2011 13:58

Thirty what, IC….. :em01:

LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An
Member
January 15, 2011 14:07

Happy Birthday, Your Majesty. Have to admit that I am curious about the age implied by On this day, back when “centurion” was a rank and not a main battle tank Are you implying that at one time you were a Miles Gregarius striking for Decanus ; or simply that you were born before the Centurion Main Battle Tank [1945]?… Read more »

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
Guest
January 15, 2011 14:13

Congratulations My Liege
Na Vasha zdorov’ ‘e, Prosit, and however th’hell they say it in Danish. :em03:

LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E.
Guest
January 15, 2011 14:17

Response to BC, Imperial Torturer @:

I would have thought that Germans of all people would remember just how cold becomes a Russoan Winter . :em98: So at least one of them has received a refresher lesson. :em01:

Darth Venomous
Guest
January 15, 2011 15:14

My favorite is still here.

(And yeah – it’s because I wrote it. Bite Sue me. :em93: )

Happiest of happies, my friend!

LC Fei Long
Guest
January 15, 2011 15:37

Peace and long life.

Barring that, though, may you crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
Guest
January 15, 2011 15:42

Maybe we can all chip in and get His Highness a stripper for His birthday …. and we’ll let BC pick the stripper 🙂

M167A1
M167A1
Guest
January 15, 2011 15:47

Chuck Schumer in a thong? :em02:

LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Warranty Expert
LC LucysDaddy--Imperial Tire Warranty Expert
Member
January 15, 2011 15:48

Wasn’t there a little known play by Shakespeare????? Something called “Misha Caesar?”

“Beware the ides of January.”

Anyway, happy birthday, sire. Already drank this morning and I still have to go in tonight and watch union thugs make tires, so I will drink a Mountain Dew in your honor.

Prosit!

BC, Imperial Torturer
Admin
January 15, 2011 15:55

…and we’ll let BC pick the stripper

You should have known better than that… She’s ready to give the Emperor his spanking. :em93:

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
Guest
January 15, 2011 16:05

Response to BC, Imperial Torturer @:

I DID know better. I was feeling momentarily sadistic :em93:

LC Xystus
Guest
January 15, 2011 16:58

LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An:

Are you implying that at one time you were a Miles Gregarius striking for Decanus :em93: ; or simply that you were born before the Centurion Main Battle Tank [1945]?

I think His Viciousness is giving us the legendary version of his birth. How many LCs know how old he really is? Not I.

Darth Venomous
Guest
January 15, 2011 17:30

I think His Viciousness is giving us the legendary version of his birth. How many LCs know how old he really is? Not I. Let’s just say he trained Darth Mortis, who in turn trained Darth Sidious…and leave it at that. (Don’t feel badly, Sire. This also happens to be the birthday of Mrs. Venomous – and she has a… Read more »

Terrapod
Editor
January 15, 2011 17:37

Really now? Emperors don’t have “birthdays”, they have epochs. So a new epoch to you, I will take the occasion to crack open a new bottle of Glenfiddich – slangevah!

Terrapod
Editor
January 15, 2011 17:38

M167A1 – that is TORTURE! Where is the U.N. when you really need em?

Princess Natasha, Imperial Koch-monger
Princess Natasha, Imperial Koch-monger
Guest
January 15, 2011 18:04

Happy Imperial birthday, bratishka! :em03: Here’s to many many more.

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
Guest
January 15, 2011 19:08

Off topic but the news just gets worse and worse for the Left ..

Eric Fuller, hero of the Left, shooting victim who blamed Sarah Palin and the Tea Party for the shootings …. arrested for threatening the left of one of the founders of the Tea Party

Linkie

americanexpat
americanexpat
Guest
January 15, 2011 19:09

Selamat hari ulang tahun, Kaisarku. May there be many more, and may you seriously deplete the vodka stocks in your locale.

M167A1 — are you also going to provide the brain bleach for that image?

Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Imperial Grammar Nazi, G.L.O.R
Guest
January 15, 2011 19:12

The Emperor opineth: “Saint Peter don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go, I owe my soul to the company store.” Not to pick nits, but it should be sto’. And as my kid brother used to sing: Happy birthday, oh happy birthday, doom and gloom are in the air, people dying everywhere, happy birthday… I’d say a song fit… Read more »

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher
Member
January 15, 2011 19:13

A birthday son for our Liege.
(sung as a dirge)

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Death, destruction and despair
people dying everywhere
Happy Birthday

From the Mongol Birthday Song.

LC WeeWeed
LC WeeWeed
Guest
January 15, 2011 19:45

Have an excellent birthday, Sire – perhaps no blizzards tonight…..though I do like the above birthday song! Oh, and many more!!! :em03:

LC Old Dog
Guest
January 15, 2011 23:51

Response to LC Subotai Bahadur, Lord Pao An @:
All I got to say is that the Guy I meant while staring over a bottle of Shiner was younger than me and I am younger than the Tank!

That being said look at the first word in my handle! :em99:

lc purple raider
Member
January 16, 2011 00:29

Happy Birthday, Sire.

Farmor, LC, GLOR and Imperial Mother
Farmor, LC, GLOR and Imperial Mother
Member
January 16, 2011 03:58

A little translation: Happy Birthday = Til Lykke med fødselsdagen.
Prosit is NOT Danish – it’s German, in Danish it’s SKĂ…L – but that letter you gyus do’nt have – that’s a Danish letter – and I guess it’s in the only alphabet – but who am I to know.
Thats it.

Light29ID
Light29ID
Guest
January 16, 2011 08:08

I quit counting at 21 (and became legal) and now the first snot nosed shit waiter at Golden Corral asks me if I want the senior discount will be singing higher notes than the Vienna Boys Choir.

Anyway, Happy Fucking Birthday my Leige, now head down to the nudie bar :em95: :em95:

Radical Redneck
Radical Redneck
Guest
January 16, 2011 13:36

Happy Birthday Misha!

One of these for you for each year! :em69:

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
Guest
January 16, 2011 13:38

Response to Radical Redneck @:

Someone fetch me a loaded bazooka. I need to blow my own head off after seeing that. :em38:

LC MosinFiend
LC MosinFiend
Guest
January 16, 2011 15:24

Felicem Natalem Diem, Caesar!

Elephant Man
Elephant Man
Guest
January 16, 2011 16:25

Speaking of “senior moments”…

Belated Happy Birthday, o’ Mighty Emperor!

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher
Member
January 16, 2011 19:30

Response to LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist @:
I have learned long ago to never, ever click on a Radical Redneck link. BC is far more diabolical, some few of his links are well worth following, just enough to keep me clicking them, sometimes.

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
Guest
January 16, 2011 19:33

Response to VonZorch Imperial Researcher @:

True. I assumed, given the Emperor’s birthday that he’d have some nude lass that most guys would do sober. Could be worse …. some of his links he’s done has even made the wife go and want to hurl :em02:

LC Timberwolf - Keeper of the Imperial Malinois
LC Timberwolf - Keeper of the Imperial Malinois
Guest
January 16, 2011 21:46

A belated Happy Birthday, Miliege.

And, NO, I ain’t clickin’ on any links provided by some of our more nefarious Rotties!

LC Panzermann
Guest
January 17, 2011 03:53

All the best, Boss.

And a hearty Prost ! to many more….

LC Draco
Guest
January 17, 2011 13:20

Happy Birthday, Sire!! :em04:

But I beat you by one day!! Mine is the 14th and two invites to my B-day party (out of 3) brought VODKA!!!! :em02:

David Block
Guest
January 17, 2011 22:13

Happy Belated Birthday Your Highness.

GGE
GGE
Guest
January 18, 2011 00:00

Happy Birthday Your Rottieness. I would have been sooner, but the sun rises a day late in my corner of the Empire (so you could say I’m right on time :em95: ) Hope it was a great one!

LC Spare Parts
LC Spare Parts
Guest
January 18, 2011 00:17

A toast to You with Old Pulteney, aged 18 years, and a delightful pale whiskey which offers an easy finish coming from cooperage used first for a light sherry; probably a Fino. Salut! :em93: