The Super Spy Who Got Around

Desperate Trump-haters, searching for something – anything! – to show that the Trump administration is in bed with Vladimir Putin seized on the news a week ago that a young Russian named Maria Butina had been indicted for violating the Foreign Agents Registration Act (FARA), or, in the words of the DOJ, for “conspiracy to act as an agent of the Russian Federation within the United States without prior notification to the Attorney General.”

A crime also known as Felony Failure to Fill in Forms™.

Turns out that that little vixen, Maria, had been “colluding” with more than one government while being not duly registered.

Alleged Russian agent Maria Butina met with officials from the Treasury Department and Federal Reserve in 2015, according to a new report. …

Reuters reported that Butina and Alexander Torshin, the former Russian Central Bank deputy governor, met with Stanley Fischer, then-vice chair of the Fed, and Nathan Sheets, then-Treasury undersecretary for international affairs, in separate meetings in 2015.

The purpose of the meetings was to discuss U.S. economic sanctions placed on Russia during the Obama administration. The U.S. placed sanctions on Russia multiple times during the Obama years over Russia’s involvement in Ukraine, its annexation of Crimea, and the Russian government’s interference in the 2016 presidential election.

So if she is a colluding, conniving, evil RUSSIAN BOT SPY!!!ELEVENTY!1!!™ now, then she must, logically, have been the same then.

Of course not, you raycisss! That was under the glorious reign of Princess Jugear, first of xis name, when such things didn’t matter because SHUT UP!

In His Majesty’s opinion, she wasn’t “colluding” with anything or anybody in either of those instances but we must concede that it’s possible that she is and was, indeed, guilty of Felony Failure to Fill in Forms™.

Still, that doesn’t hardly amount to being the same as Alger Hiss, as left wing dumpster fire Politico breathlessly asserts.

On a separate note we must, being the proud holder of the Order of Pedantry, First Class with Oak Leaves and Diamond Cluster™, point out to various media outlets and pundits that the Super Spy’s first name is Maria, not “Mariia.”

We suppose that the confusion stems from the fact that her first name, transcribed literally from Cyrillic to Roman, is “Mariya”, and somebody misplaced his “y” key that day or thought that a double “i” would sound more cool and stuff (which it doesn’t, it only makes us imagine the court clerk belting out a well known solo from West Side Story when trying to call out the defendant’s name). So yes, “Mariya” would be correct as well.

Still, it is pronounced “Maria”, so no need to be all exotic and inclusive about it, especially when you’re doing it wrong.

Thatisall.