Such as the In-Absolutely-No-Way-Inferior-You-RAYCISS!™ culture of Malawi, which is apparently the name of some G-d forsaken shithole of a country that we’ve never heard of until now.
Doctors in Malawi have been beaten for carrying stethoscopes by vigilante mobs who believe they are vampires using the instruments to suck blood.
Medics have also been robbed and had their vehicles smashed, while ambulances have been attacked as patients were taken to hospital, a doctors’ association said.
You’d think the nose-bone wearing savages would have gone for the phlebotomists first, wouldn’t you?
The Society of Medical Doctors in Malawi said a case of ‘mass hysteria’ sweeping the south of the country has led thousands of people to believe there are vampires in their midst.
Much like the mass hysteria sweeping these United States of America that has led millions of people to believe that everybody’s Hitler and that Felonia von Pantsuit is an actual human being.
In a statement, society president Dr Amos Salimanda Nyaka said: ‘We are disturbed by the reports of thuggery that has resulted into some health workers being attacked for carrying a stethoscope.
Bloody RAYCISS! How DARE you complain about the vibrancy and beauty of those wonderful people and their elevated and advanced culture!
‘No health worker can suck blood with a stethoscope.’
That’s not entirely true. Being familiar with the implement in question, we believe that it WOULD indeed be possible, though incredibly and unnecessarily complicated, compared to other more straight forward methods. Not to mention that it WOULD be impossible to suck it with one’s ears.
Dr Nyaka added that there is ‘no evidence’ the vampires are real, and instead blamed the situation on ‘Shared Delusion Disorder’.
See also: “Progressive Socialism”, “Social Justice”, “Black Lives Matter”, “Antifa” etc. etc. ad nauseam.
Just think about how wonderful it would be if we could have all of these authentic, vibrant vampire hunters imported over here to beat up and murder people for carrying a stethoscope?
Another reason we’re grateful that Felonia von Pantsuit didn’t win.
You can’t fix stupid. However, perhaps we coujd send Felonia on a good will tour of Malawi and drop the hint that she is an actual vampire? She’s quite good at sucking the money out of people’s wallets. Another reason we’re grateful that Felonia von Pantsuit didn’t win. I gather you didn’t see the story regarding Larry Lessig? He’s figured… Read more »
The Emperor’s back! Good to see ya, Misha. This is part deux, Vampires of Malawi the Sequel: there was a rash of vampire attacks in various parts of Malawi between 2002 and 2004, also. The President of Malawi got caught up in the controversy and blame for the vampires at one point, and a radio journalist was beaten by a… Read more »
In case you are looking for a cutting edge schadenfreude party on the 8th!
I can’t wait until the 8th to celebrate; Flake’s out!
(Srsly, tho. What the hell happened to AWD??)
When you get down to it, is believing that stethoscope wearers are vampires really any more fucked up that believing in global warming, magic dirt, that here are no differences whatsoever between men and women, that there are 74 of whatever it is up to now sexes, crystals and herbal teas can cure cancer and all manner of other diseases,… Read more »
Radical Redneck @ #:
Content is apparently not available. Must have been good.
So, how do you guys think Trump is doing so far? Marks out of ten.
Muzzy – Imperial Ignorant Slut @ #:
Probably an 7-8. There are a few things I think he should be doing, mostly in crushing the Democrats and RINO’s once and for all, but in general, this picture says it all.
Muzzy – Imperial Ignorant Slut @ #:
About a 3. Which is an order of magnitude better than any President since 1926.
And yes that includes Reagan.
Thanks. I’ve got a follow-up question. It might sound like I’m taking the piss but I’m honestly not. To what extent is your approval of Trump based on how much he pisses off people on the far left? By far left, I mean the anti-fa and SJW crowd. See, here’s the thing. I consider myself fairly left wing. I’ve been… Read more »
Muzzy – Imperial Ignorant Slut @ #: My rating is based on my estimate of the things he promised to do that he is actually doing. This is mostly undoing Obummer’s clearly illegal executive orders. That he is making leftard heads explode doing it is not a part of my approval, but it is a hell of a lot of… Read more »
Good to hear from you Muzzy! And you bring up a lot of good points, but that’s precisely because you’re NOT one of the autistic, fanatical cry-bullies with a collective IQ of a marmite sandwich. Yes, I do believe that the election might have turned out differently had the Progs run something less vile and despicable than Felonia von Pantsuit… Read more »