So says this ignorant twunt, writing for Teh Grauniad.

Life here in the US feels surreal lately, like a very bad reality TV show, thanks to Donald Trump.

Are you kidding us? It’s the Best Reality TV Show Evah!™. ProgNazi heads exploding everywhere, every last one of their utterances ensuring that another 10,000 normal people are overcome with a sudden urge to punch them in their thoroughly unlikable, smug faces and rivers of ProgNazi tears running through our streets.

It’s the most fun His Imperial Majesty has had since that one time in Tijuana that we don’t ever talk about anymore.

In no case is this more evident than the president’s decision – and the process and theatre around it – to abandon the Paris climate agreement and nearly every other country in the world.

Let’s face it. Nearly every other country in the world needed abandoning. Just because everybody else seems to be suddenly fascinated with staring down the barrels of fully loaded shotguns with the safety off doesn’t make it a good idea.

The Paris agreement was a groundbreaking deal that allowed each country to decide its own contribution to reducing greenhouse gas emissions.

Nothing is more groundbreaking than a deal allowing every party to it to follow it if they feel like it.

Even though it is non-binding, the agreement puts the world on the path to keep global temperatures from rising more than 2C, which scientists warn would be disastrous for our planet.

We’ll leave it up to individuals much smarterer than us to explain how a non-binding agreement puts anybody on the path to anything. But clearly it is vitally important to non-bindingly to put us on a non-binding path, if we feel like it, to avoid something that somebody thinks might be a bad thing.

Makes the Treaty of Westphalia look like an insignificant agreement on where to have lunch by comparison, as long as nobody actually insisted on going to the place they agreed on, of course.

By abandoning the agreement, we are not only ceding global leadership

Last one to destroy their own economy is a rotten egg!

but also effectively renouncing our global citizenship.

Not much of a loss, seeing as how we weren’t “citizens of the globe” to begin with. Nobody is. Since “the globe” doesn’t exist as an entity one can be a citizen of.

So we’re ceding our golden opportunity to destroy our economy before everybody else AND we’re giving up a citizenship we never held to begin with?

We have to agree. It’s a DISASTER!

The US is joining Nicaragua (which felt the agreement did not go far enough) and Syria (in the midst of a devastating civil war) as the only nations without a seat at the Paris table.

Considering that we were only invited to sit at the table because we have the fattest wallet in the world and nobody else were overly eager to pay for the meal, we’re also strangely OK with that.

As an American, I am embarrassed and ashamed of this abdication of our responsibility,

As an American, we are embarrassed and ashamed that you are also one. Cheapens the whole thing immensely.

especially since the US has been the world’s largest contributor of carbon emissions over time. We have become a rogue nation.

Oh that’s cute. Sure, over time we might have been the world’s largest contributor, but that is if you count all the way back to the first belching steam powered monstrosities.

But as of right now, something that ought to concern those concerned about emissions of plant food a great deal more, China emits more than twice what we do. China is also, funnily enough, exempt from doing anything at all about it, which just might explain their furious embrace of it. Kind of hard to not like a non-binding deal that you’re exempt from, especially when it will cripple all of your competitors if they’re retarded enough to adhere to it.

Rogue never felt so good.

This action will not put “America first”. Instead, we risk becoming, to cite an actual reality TV show, the “biggest loser” in a global race towards a new, more vibrant and innovative clean energy economy.

Meaning, in actual English, that we’ll become the “biggest loser” in the race to massive unemployment and soaring energy costs, something which His Majesty, after much quiet contemplation, has decided that he is generally fine with.

Trump’s dubious claims regarding the impact of the Paris agreement have been widely discredited. No amount of rhetoric will bring back coal and nothing will stop the explosive growth of clean energy jobs.

Rhetoric won’t “bring back coal”, but executive orders certainly will. They already are. And yes, a sudden disappearance of massive government handouts most assuredly will stop the “explosive growth” of unprofitable, bankruptcy doomed “clean energy” businesses. Just wait and see. Elon Musk is already terrified at the prospect of actually generating a profit without a direct pipeline to the taxpayers’ wallets.

Already, wind and solar employ nearly three times as many people as the coal industry does, according to the Department of Energy’s 2017 energy and employment report.

Entirely due to Jugear and his ProgNazi Party’s Führerbefehle, exorbitant taxes, massive government handouts of Other People’s Money™ to “clean energy” and a sea of regulations.

Take that away and… *pop* goes the weasel.

Trump claimed he was elected to represent Pittsburgh, not Paris. Pittsburgh’s mayor, William Peduto, fired back: “President Trump’s decision is disastrous for our planet, for cities such as Pittsburgh.”

But certainly not disastrous for the people who provide your transgendered freaks with affordable energy, without which they’d have to figure out a way to power their idiotPads some other way.

In fact, the once smoke-choked industrial city highlights the enormous benefits that come from adopting cleaner energy, as called for under the Paris agreement. The city is a recognised leader for investments in green infrastructure (green roofs, urban forest projects, etc) that create jobs, reduce emissions and protect citizens from climate impacts such as increased urban heat island effect and more intense storms. Pittsburgh has been named the US’s “most livable city” six times since 2000 exactly because of this.

Odd, then, that people aren’t exactly flocking to live in Pittsburgh, isn’t it?

The transition to cleaner and more resilient communities around the US is under way.

Resilient against what? Disposable income?

So too is a shift from dirty coal to cleaner natural gas and renewables. These changes are being driven by market forces that not even Trump can hold back.

They are, of course, driven by government subsidies and regulations, which are the exact opposite of market forces, but don’t let that get in the way of your fantasy.

But policies do matter. The administration’s direct attack on the environment, from rolling back President Obama’s plan to cut power plant emissions to proposing draconian budget cuts in research and innovation, will slow the momentum in tackling climate change just when it’s more urgent than ever to accelerate action.

By “more urgent than ever” we’re sure you’re referring to the Deadline of Irreversible Doom™ that has been moved forward every year since, well, forever. Any news about the Northwest Passage being ice free yet? Because we were told it was supposed to have happened a decade ago. Or two, we’re not even sure anymore. We do know that High Priest Algore has announced that the Arctic would be ice free any day now every year since Hammurabi wrote his laws, yet the Arctic remains stubbornly covered in ice regardless. Counterrevolutionary kulak blob of ice that it is.

Trump’s actions also threaten to cripple the US economy by slowing the growth in renewable energy jobs and by handing global clean energy leadership to China.

If China wants to waste their severely limited GDP on inefficient, utopian plans, then we’re perfectly fine with that. We’ll just stick to what works in the meantime. Of course, they probably don’t want to, or else they’d currently not be the worst “CO2 polluter” in the entire history of mankind.

One thing we’ve learned is that if the manufacturer of some good or service would rather rub his genitals off with a rusty cheese grater than use his own product, it’s probably not all that it’s cracked up to be.

Already, China has produced more than three times more clean energy jobs than the US has, according to the International Renewable Energy Agency.

And who could ask for a more unimpeachably objective source than that, are we right?

If there’s any good news about Trump’s breathtakingly wrong decision, it has been the swift outpouring of outrage and opposition, both in the US and around the world.

On that, we can agree. All of the right people are pissed off, which is how we generally judge any of the current president’s decisions. If he pisses off people who’d do humanity a service by submerging themselves, slowly, in a vat full of acid, he’s doing something right.

Dozens of US mayors and the governors of a number of states, including some Republicans,

Hi, Mitt! Now go die quietly in a freak blimp accident.

have vowed to forge ahead with ambitious climate and clean energy plans.

Which is their right. As long as they pay for it themselves.

In spite of Trump’s announcement, “Massachusetts is aggressively working to exceed the goals of the Paris agreement on the state level, while growing our economy through clean energy innovation and environmental stewardship,” said Governor Charlie Baker, a Republican.

Cucked the cuck, cuckingly. For fear that he’d have to find an actual honest job if he said otherwise.

Like Pittsburgh and Massachusetts, other cities and states – and other countries – see huge benefits in the transition to clean energy. Contrary to the alternative reality presented by Trump, they have already proved that climate action spurs, not harms, economic growth.

As long as it’s paid for with Other People’s Money™, which totalitarian systems have a depressing tendency to run out of.

For example, California’s cap-and-trade programme and other environmental policies have slashed the carbon intensity of its economy by 7% at the same time that the state’s economy grew 6.6%.

Given the booming success of California’s economy, could somebody explain to us why they’re teetering on the edge of bankruptcy and it’s impossible to find a U-Haul truck at a reasonable rate in their entire state?

The regional greenhouse gas initiative, a cap-and-trade programme for the power sector in nine north-eastern states, has cut carbon pollution by 45%, while their economies have grown 8%.Similarly, Germany reduced its greenhouse gas emissions by 12% between 2000 and 2015 as its economy grew 16%.

Can we please stop talking about “recession”, then? Seeing as how the global economy is booming like never before in human history, that is. Seriously? A growth of 16%? That’s not even close to being believable, mainly because it has never happened ever before, anywhere. Oh snap, it wasn’t yearly? It grew 16% over a 15 year window? Not really that impressive, is it? That’s about a 1% annual growth. Happy days are here again! Let’s go buy a Lamborghini!

More than 30 states and scores of companies have adopted clean energy targets and goals. A sizable majority of Americans, along with major companies such as ExxonMobil, Apple, Google and Intel, want to remain in the Paris agreement.

Of course they do. It’s an endless pipeline to Other People’s Money™.

If enough of these entities act, it’s even possible that they can keep the US within striking distance of meeting its targets in the agreement without any support from Washington, DC, at least in the short-term, though US federal leadership is essential to achieve the deep reductions required over time.

And the needed infusions of Other People’s Money™, of course. Otherwise, it’s Solyndra time. Remember them? Nobody else does either, so don’t feel bad.

If Trump thought he would blow up the Paris agreement and cause a stampede for the exits, he was terribly mistaken. If anything, he has stiffened the resolve for climate action around the world.

Why would he care? He’s not president of “the rest of the world.” If they insist on committing suicide, then sure. More power to us.

The EU, which has met its previous ambitious carbon pollution reduction targets, has pledged to do more, with or without US leadership. The EU is also working to join forces with China on an emissions trading plan.

Let us guess: This will vastly benefit China without them having to do a single thing? They’d be idiots to not jump into a “deal” like that.

And China plans to invest at least $360bn by 2020 in a push to be the global leader in renewables. “Wherever we live, whoever we are, we all share the same responsibility: make our planet great again,” declared France’s president, Emmanuel Macron.

You go right ahead and do that, Macarena, we’ll still be here to sell you ridiculously overpriced energy when you’re all freezing to death in the dark.

Like so many, I have been dismayed by the US abdication of leadership and responsibility on this central issue of our time. I’m worried about the growing risk of catastrophic climate change and the staggering toll it will take in human suffering when solutions are readily available. The Paris agreement represents unprecedented global co-operation to avoid the worst consequences of climate change. However misguided, Trump has put a spotlight on the undeniable need to act and galvanised people from around the world to create a cleaner and more resilient future. It’s up to all of us now to make that happen.

You first, twat. Meanwhile, we think we’ll go for a ride in our ridiculously overpowered V8 to get some raw meat we can BBQ while we keep all the lights on.


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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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June 7, 2017 23:52

The Paris agreement was a groundbreaking deal that allowed each country to decide its own contribution to reducing greenhouse gas emissions. So…we only get to decide our contribution if we sign an agreement? It seems to me we’re fully capable of deciding our CO2 contribution without giving $billions to China. You’d think lefties would be for more CO2 though, more… Read more »

June 8, 2017 03:25

So, these “Global Citizens” are aghast at President Trump putting America first? Besides, I read something yesterday that Trump wants to put solar panels on the Trump Wall. Now that’s nice and green isn’t it? As for China taking the lead? I’ve been to China. The first time, you could taste the steel in the air from the foundries outside… Read more »

LC Mike in Chi
LC Mike in Chi
June 8, 2017 09:19

The ECO weeny states: So too is a shift from dirty coal to cleaner natural gas and renewables. But back in the confines of ivy tech giant, MIT circa 2007–> Great Point Energy of Cambridge, MA, says its process is cheaper and more reliable than drilling for new natural gas or importing liquefied natural gas from the same unstable regions.… Read more »

June 8, 2017 12:33

It’s the most fun His Imperial Majesty has had since that one time in Tijuana that we don’t ever talk about anymore.

Don’t worry, Misha. We burned all of the photos of you in the red body harness with the “man pouch” and the black thigh boots.


Didn’t we, Brendan?

Libsareb Raindead
June 9, 2017 00:00

Making fisking great again, my liege.

Liberofascists like her and her comrade John Podesta won’t be happy until our “global citizenship” isn’t non-binding.

LC&IB Vulcanrider, MSgt, USAF, Ret
LC&IB Vulcanrider, MSgt, USAF, Ret
June 9, 2017 07:48

And no one mentions that the contribution to this non-binding agreement by the US has already totaled 1 Billion dollars. Total of all the other “signatories”? Zero….

June 11, 2017 05:02

Don’t worry, Misha. We burned all of the photos of you in the red body harness with the “man pouch” and the black thigh boots.


Didn’t we, Brendan?

Oh THOSE…um…yes..I…yeah they were burned. All of them.

June 11, 2017 05:16

LCBrendan @ #:

Oh THOSE…um…yes..I…yeah they were burned. All of them.

You seem to have forgotten the digital copies. They seem to have ended up on The Fappening.

June 12, 2017 00:02

BTW did anyone catch Ol’ Jim Comey’s testimony?

“Aw shucks yeah I leaked cause I had this queasy feeling…” and what was the upshot of all of this?

A whole load of NOTHING. Comey aint got shit.

June 13, 2017 14:23

Oh THOSE…um…yes..I…yeah they were burned. All of them.

Oops. Darn. We missed one:

BC, Imperial Torturer
June 13, 2017 21:49

Once again, Our Most Vicious, Vociferous & Vile Imperator shows the world why he is The Master Wielder of the FiskBat 5000. That, My Liege, was a thing of beauty, not seen since the days of Teh Great Deletioning. *Wipes tears from eyes* That may just inspire the Imperial Dungeon Game Room to start pulling out the ol’ DVD’s o’… Read more »

June 14, 2017 09:01

About the shooting in DC – too early to know what happened, but that does not stop the Stupid Media Services (TM) from this kind of headline: Gunman opens fire at congressional baseball practice… High-Powered Rifle; More than 50 shots fired… ‘Are Those Republicans or Democrats Out There?’ Kept unloading and reloading… Capitol Police prevented massacre… Security tightened at White… Read more »

LC Mike in Chi
LC Mike in Chi
June 14, 2017 16:05

Terrapod says: The left has fomented the crazies to go off the rails, so they own this. Watch them all bloviate and try to spin that the shooter was a right wing white supremacist hater in 3, 2, 1….. Oops… Ha… It was a Bernie suck-ass from Ill. state. 66y/o Sanders volunteer and Soros funded activist and confirmed lib-loon. Is… Read more »

June 15, 2017 02:45

IIRC Washington DC has YUUUUUGE gun laws…lot and lots and lots of gun laws….so nah he didnt have a gun.

He had a reloadable potato peeler :em07:

June 15, 2017 03:01

I heard, (A rumor at this stage), that the Bernbot was using an SKS with a scope.

And he still missed.

Looks like he didn’t bother to zero it, or didn’t know how.