How About Marching Around in the Heat in 106 Degrees? Builds Character, You Know…

Ah, so it’s that time of year again. August is here and the neverending summer holiday is coming to an end.

Actually, for the Imperial Heirs it’s come to an end already, because marching band in this country is not entirely unlike the military *chuckle*. Only Basic lasts for four years.

We had a feeling that we knew what our “little” darlings were in for now that they’re about to enter the major leagues of march-banding, particularly when we read the schedule and program details, but we wisely refrained from mentioning anything. Or sadistically refrained, if you prefer. We must admit that keeping our Imperial smirk suppressed was a bit difficult at times.

We hadn’t quite expected, though, that the unseasonably cool weather (less than a hundred in Texas this time of year?) would come to an abrupt halt literally a few days before their three week before school band “camp” started.


8 hours a day, every day, six days a week of marching, drilling, doing aerobics etc. in scorching heat… We really felt for the poor guys as we sent them off for their first day of… fun.

And yes, they were more dead than alive when their video game loving arses plumped into the seats of the cruiser that first afternoon but, and this is where we’re really proud, they’ve been holding up! Sure, there’s been moaning, but any grunt is entitled to moan, but no, absolutely no talk of quitting. Nope. Just home and crash and then up bright and early the next day to have another go at it.

Not bad at all.

They didn’t think much of me after their long tales of woe (I can’t feel my legs!, I’ll never be able to get out of this seat again!, Can I just sleep in the car?) that afternoon were met with a subdued chuckle from their Imperial Sire. “It’s not funny, Dad!”

And no, no it wasn’t. Not when you’re the one in the middle of it, so we explained to them that it wasn’t that we were laughing at them, we were laughing at how much they sounded like us what seems like a hundred years ago after the first week of Basic, and how funny that earlier version of us was to us now that it was all in the past. So, basically, we were laughing at ourself. “And, as you see, we didn’t die, so you won’t either.”

Cheered them up a bit.

Of course, with that sort of thing comes reams of papers to fill in and sign, tonnes of equipment to round up (already done) and, as is the case with school activities in this country, fundraisers. Fundraisers everywhere.

One of the more fun one requires, yes, requires each student to show up with 20 email addresses for the fundraiser program to send endless emails to. No, it’s not a request, it’s a requirement. So we’ve been scratching our head here, trying to come up with 20 people we hate enough to subject to that. Or people who, at the very least, won’t hate us back for subjecting them to it. Our entire family, even if we add the ones we don’t speak about anymore because of that thing that happened back in whenever, don’t amount to that many people.

So if you’re willing to subject yourself to the torture (actually, we don’t know how heavy the incoming is going to be), there’s no actual commitment involved in volunteering an email addy from what we can tell, although the band would surely appreciate any help volunteered, then please feel free to drop us a note. It would be much appreciated. The email link is on the right side under “Imperial Mailbox”, at least that’s the one that is still checkable because it hasn’t been turned into a complete spam trap yet.

Thanks again, and here’s to another fun-filled year. The last of the Ogabe Misadministration. 🙂


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BC, Imperial Torturer
BC, Imperial Torturer
August 5, 2016 22:46

Welcome to Band Parent Hell! We just spent the last 4 years enduring, er, loving every minute of it. A few of the remaining hostages Band Parents are begging us to continue helping out during the upcoming season. We “might” help out a little, but it’s now up to the other 98% of the lazy, fuckwitted parents who use the… Read more »

LC Xystus
LC Xystus
August 6, 2016 04:31

This post’s title reminds me of my favorite Calvin & Hobbes strip. Dad’s complaining of not being able to find his glasses. Then Calvin appears wearing them, with his hair combed in imitation of Dad. The kid says:

Calvin! Why don’t you go do something you don’t like? Being miserable builds character!

August 6, 2016 16:36

email sent… let me know if you need MOAR addys

August 6, 2016 17:01

well hell… not sure why i can’t edit my previous poast, so here’s an extra for y’all… long ago, on one of those lovely days Planet Irwin is famous for, i was, after a long CAV day of tending to everyone else’s needs, finally getting a chance to eat. i retrieved my trusty stove, parked my ass in the dirt… Read more »

August 7, 2016 19:03

Sent mine in email, and if you need some more, let me know. I have some from volunteers, and some that I’ve saved from previous annoyances. Be happy to return the favor.

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
August 12, 2016 17:46

My child knows how you feel. He’s marching around and doing military maneuvers in 110 degree heat at Ft. Sill, OK! W00T!

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
August 13, 2016 15:08

Oh, and yeah – you have mine. It hasn’t changed. Feel free.