Hacks, Corruption and Russians, Oh My!

Did we call it or what when we said that this election season would become really entertaining after the primaries or WHAT?

So now Wikileaks is releasing thousands of the ClintonCrimeFamily, aka “The DNC”, aka “The Mainstream Media”‘s emails, that have apparently been hacked.

Perhaps they were all being stored on Cankles’ Toilet Server?

The fun part being, of course, that all of those emails show massive collusion between Cankles and the DNC/MSM (tautology alert), conspiracy to commit election fraud and Bob knows what else, all in order to ensure that the already thoroughly rigged Progressive Socialist Democrat primaries stayed very thoroughly rigged indeed. Can’t have anybody but Her Drooling Drunkenness upset the carefully laid plans of rats and crooks, can we?

This, unsurprisingly, led to the Bernie Bros and Sander Snatches getting quite upset, for once for very good and legitimate reasons. It appears that they’re not quite as ready for sham “elections”, the dictatorship of the proletariat and Gleichschaltung as they normally give the impression that they are. At least not when it’s their preferred dictator getting the shaft.

And just like that, Debbie Wassermann-Positive Schultz, having played a major part in the rigging, was out as DNC chair. And here we were, getting increasingly convinced that it was going to take hours of surgery for the Progressive Socialist Democrats to detach their lips from her meat curtains.

Her place is supposedly being taken by the Clinton Famiglia’s Donna Brazile, at least for the time being, who also belongs to the CNN (is it alright to call them the Clinton News Network now?), for whom she’ll be covering the Prozi convention. But that’s alright. CNN won’t be paying her for that gig (the Clinton Famiglia will, which they’ve always been doing), so no conflicts there.


Fun times.

And the FBI, suddenly awakening from their slumber and beginning to take cyber crime and unsecured servers very seriously indeed, now that they’re done ignoring it entirely while whitewashing and sweeping under the carpet Her Cankledness’s numerous and borderline treasonous violations of national security, mumbling something about Russian H4xorZ being responsible for the much more serious crime of reading the DNC’s emails. Right after the Cankles Campaign had instructed them to use that line, of course. Until then, they were too busy waiting to hear their Master’s Screeching Voice to come up with anything.

Let’s keep an eye on the real priorities here, right? Open access to the Dept. of State’s trove of state secrets? Pshaw… No need to get all upset, you silly plebes, that’s not something to indict anybody over. Breaking into Debbie’s private email, on the other hand? HOLY SHIT! LOCK EVERYTHING DOWN! CALL THE NATIONAL GUARD! DEFCON 1!

And, seriously?


In order to get Trump elected?????

Oh sure. Because we all know that if there is ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD who keeps Volodya Putin awake at night, sweating and burying his head in his pillow while shivering all over, it’s Hillary Clinton!

Pull the other one, please.

Oh, and pass the popcorn.


UPDATE: Our personal favorite:

“The FBI is investigating a cyber intrusion involving the DNC and are working to determine the nature and scope of the matter,” the agency said in a statement. “A compromise of this nature is something we take very seriously,

Oh. So there ARE things you take very seriously? Just not multiple felonies involving state secrets? Gotcha.

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July 25, 2016 17:38

I wonder if the bernbot delegates might stage a walkout? Or perhaps a nice riot. I’m in the mood for some nice retro Chicago 1968 right about now.

July 25, 2016 19:51

this whole dumpster fire is just TOO delicious for words…

and the wailing of the leftards i know warms the cackles of my cold dark little heart.

really hope Trump doesn’t screw this up by saying or doing something stupid.

BC, Imperial Torturer
BC, Imperial Torturer(@beecee)
July 25, 2016 20:10

Just wait until the GOOD emails start getting released by StickiLeaks and/or the Russians some other “anonymous” hackers. Popcorn futures are going through the roof! If you didn’t buy them last week, you’re screwed.

:em07: :em01: :em05:

July 25, 2016 21:18

October surprise is gonna’ be early and a doosey of a crisis. One that might even beat-out the sub-prime mess of ’07-’08.

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.(@cmblake6)
July 26, 2016 01:00

:em03: I need more ammo. Hmmm, gotta figure out whether I need more, well, shit, you name it… Swede, Russian, American, Austrian, Swiss, German, …

July 26, 2016 08:28

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E. says: Swede, Russian, American, Austrian, Swiss, German, … Sounds like the start of a good squad of citizens to me. Especially the newly arrived, they know that if they screw this up they have nowhere nice to go. Most newbies, are usually, better informed than the average bear, er… citizen. I have… Read more »

July 26, 2016 09:02

LC Mike in Chi @ #: I can’t wait for the “Cankles Crash of 2016?® ™ Ol’ girl been livin’ the high life for 40yrs. $ 1-1 | t, I could only take twenty. Actually, it will have to wait until 2017 and the new AG takes over. Then he or she can reinvestigate and indict the cankled one. Unless… Read more »

Radical Redneck
Radical Redneck(@radical-redneck)
July 26, 2016 13:31

Was that Spanx clearly visible underneath the Worst Lady’s tent sized dress? Or perhaps her tail coiled up? :em03:

July 26, 2016 16:23

angrywebmaster says:

Unless Cankles sleazes her way into the oval office.

Dude, I’ve got her on the dead pool for July 31. That’s one box that we can all count on sooner or later.

July 26, 2016 16:46

LC Mike in Chi @ #:

Dude, I’ve got her on the dead pool for July 31.

Dead pool? This Dead pool?

July 26, 2016 21:37

As I understand it, CNN shows Trump ahead of killery in the latest poll. We’ll have to see what happens after the Nuremberg rally……I mean dhimmi convention.

July 28, 2016 08:11

No, this one===>
Hill-Billy’s #106. No wager. Just saying. Just got some hope for a change.