Listen, Fellow Cruzers

Our old buddy Mike brought this up again in a post we encourage you to read in its entirety:

Know what I like best about frothing Trump-haters? They’re never obnoxious, arrogant, or personally insulting.
Except, of course, when they are.

Trump supporters, no one should let you off of that bandwagon now. You should be handcuffed to that Titanic you volunteered to crew.
Donald Trump didn’t suddenly change in the past few days, weeks or months. He’s the same guy he always was, the same guy that most of us in the conservative movement and GOP have been staunchly opposing for the past year. He didn’t abruptly become reckless, obnoxious, ill-informed, erratic, hot-tempered, pathologically dishonest, narcissistic, crude and catastrophically unqualified for the presidency overnight. He’s always been that guy, and you denied it and ignored it and hand-waved it away and made excuses every step of the way because you were convinced that you were so much smarter than the rest of us. You were so certain that you had received some superior wavelength giving you special insight into the Donald; only you could tell that it was all an act. Only you could grasp that his constant courting of controversy was just to get attention from the media. Only you could instinctively sense that his style would play brilliantly in the general election and win over working-class Democrats. (SPOILER ALERT: It isn’t.) You insisted that you could “coach him.”

You came to those conclusions not because you’re smarter than the rest of us, but because you’re actually more foolish than the rest of us.
Well, I’m certainly persuaded! To whom do I apologize for my rank stupidity, and where’s the line to climb contritely back on the wheezing, sclerotic, go-along-get-along Republican “juggernaut” again?

This is how some of you attempt to patch the party back together? Really? Are you absolutely batshit fucking insane?

First off: If you’re trying to convince any current Trump supporters that they should drop their choice and go for Cruz instead, and we fervently pray that they will, then you’re doing it wrong. Calling people idiots, racists, xenophobes, misogynists, Nazis, low brow inbred cousin-fuckers etc. etc. isn’t going to convince them. Yes, we know, it’s shocking to you “super-intelligent” pundits, just ask you how intelligent you are, but insulting somebody’s intelligence and heritage is not likely to win very many hearts and minds.

Perhaps you should finally take that IQ test that you’ve heard about but been too afraid to actually submit to because you weren’t sure of the result, because you sure as hell don’t seem all that smart to us. And yes, we did take the test.

The problem here is, for those of us who actually do have a brain, and a very analytical one at that, is that too many potential voters have been fucked up the Khyber Pass for decades, holding their noses and voting for scumbags they didn’t even remotely believe in just because they hoped that maybe, this time, the scumbag wouldn’t be as much of a scumbag as the last one. The problem here is that the “party” had been treating their bread and butter, their base, as mindless, brainless, cheap whores to be used and thrown away because they’d always come back the next time, and that said party hasn’t, has refused to, wake up to the fact that said base is waking up to the fact that they’ve been treated like cheap whores.

And the response is to insult them further?

Once again we ask ourselves: Of all the planes that could have been brought down on 9/11 through heroic action on part of the passengers, why did Flight 93 have to be the one? The one targeted at Washington DC? And why, in a happy alternate reality, wasn’t that plane loaded with a 500 megaton nuclear device?

All of the district of Columbia could disappear tomorrow and the only response from the world would be a massive sigh of relief.

We know that there isn’t enough booze in the Republic of Texas to adequately celebrate OUR massive relief.

The bottom line is, however, that at the end of this crazy primary lies a general election, and at that point we all have to choose sides, whether we like it or not.

If some of you have reached the point where you just can’t vote for the Republican candidate if his name is Trump we understand you.

Believe us, we do.

We held our nose for McCumStain in 2008 because we hoped that he would croak within fifteen minutes of being sworn in so the President would be Sarah Palin. We held our nose in 2012 because, well, four years of socialism is enough for any sentient human being. But we hated it both times. So if some of you can’t stand it anymore, we get it. We really, really do.

Our very personal and by no means perfect reasoning tells us that if we stay at home in that case, we guarantee four more years of NotMyPresident Obumfuck whereas, with President Loudmouth, there is at least an outside chance that we might get something better.

But, at any rate, we’re still in it together and we need all of us to turn this ship around.

Thatisall.