Listen, Fellow Cruzers

Our old buddy Mike brought this up again in a post we encourage you to read in its entirety:

Know what I like best about frothing Trump-haters? They’re never obnoxious, arrogant, or personally insulting.
Except, of course, when they are.

Trump supporters, no one should let you off of that bandwagon now. You should be handcuffed to that Titanic you volunteered to crew.
Donald Trump didn’t suddenly change in the past few days, weeks or months. He’s the same guy he always was, the same guy that most of us in the conservative movement and GOP have been staunchly opposing for the past year. He didn’t abruptly become reckless, obnoxious, ill-informed, erratic, hot-tempered, pathologically dishonest, narcissistic, crude and catastrophically unqualified for the presidency overnight. He’s always been that guy, and you denied it and ignored it and hand-waved it away and made excuses every step of the way because you were convinced that you were so much smarter than the rest of us. You were so certain that you had received some superior wavelength giving you special insight into the Donald; only you could tell that it was all an act. Only you could grasp that his constant courting of controversy was just to get attention from the media. Only you could instinctively sense that his style would play brilliantly in the general election and win over working-class Democrats. (SPOILER ALERT: It isn’t.) You insisted that you could “coach him.”

You came to those conclusions not because you’re smarter than the rest of us, but because you’re actually more foolish than the rest of us.
Well, I’m certainly persuaded! To whom do I apologize for my rank stupidity, and where’s the line to climb contritely back on the wheezing, sclerotic, go-along-get-along Republican “juggernaut” again?

This is how some of you attempt to patch the party back together? Really? Are you absolutely batshit fucking insane?

First off: If you’re trying to convince any current Trump supporters that they should drop their choice and go for Cruz instead, and we fervently pray that they will, then you’re doing it wrong. Calling people idiots, racists, xenophobes, misogynists, Nazis, low brow inbred cousin-fuckers etc. etc. isn’t going to convince them. Yes, we know, it’s shocking to you “super-intelligent” pundits, just ask you how intelligent you are, but insulting somebody’s intelligence and heritage is not likely to win very many hearts and minds.

Perhaps you should finally take that IQ test that you’ve heard about but been too afraid to actually submit to because you weren’t sure of the result, because you sure as hell don’t seem all that smart to us. And yes, we did take the test.

The problem here is, for those of us who actually do have a brain, and a very analytical one at that, is that too many potential voters have been fucked up the Khyber Pass for decades, holding their noses and voting for scumbags they didn’t even remotely believe in just because they hoped that maybe, this time, the scumbag wouldn’t be as much of a scumbag as the last one. The problem here is that the “party” had been treating their bread and butter, their base, as mindless, brainless, cheap whores to be used and thrown away because they’d always come back the next time, and that said party hasn’t, has refused to, wake up to the fact that said base is waking up to the fact that they’ve been treated like cheap whores.

And the response is to insult them further?

Once again we ask ourselves: Of all the planes that could have been brought down on 9/11 through heroic action on part of the passengers, why did Flight 93 have to be the one? The one targeted at Washington DC? And why, in a happy alternate reality, wasn’t that plane loaded with a 500 megaton nuclear device?

All of the district of Columbia could disappear tomorrow and the only response from the world would be a massive sigh of relief.

We know that there isn’t enough booze in the Republic of Texas to adequately celebrate OUR massive relief.

The bottom line is, however, that at the end of this crazy primary lies a general election, and at that point we all have to choose sides, whether we like it or not.

If some of you have reached the point where you just can’t vote for the Republican candidate if his name is Trump we understand you.

Believe us, we do.

We held our nose for McCumStain in 2008 because we hoped that he would croak within fifteen minutes of being sworn in so the President would be Sarah Palin. We held our nose in 2012 because, well, four years of socialism is enough for any sentient human being. But we hated it both times. So if some of you can’t stand it anymore, we get it. We really, really do.

Our very personal and by no means perfect reasoning tells us that if we stay at home in that case, we guarantee four more years of NotMyPresident Obumfuck whereas, with President Loudmouth, there is at least an outside chance that we might get something better.

But, at any rate, we’re still in it together and we need all of us to turn this ship around.

Thatisall.

0 0 vote
Article Rating
23 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster
March 31, 2016 04:33

in a happy alternate reality, wasn’t that plane loaded with a 500 megaton nuclear device? Well, for one thing, the biggest nuke was only about 50 megatons, and fof another, I read that anything above 200 megatons just vents into space. (Blasts out of the atmosphere) Smaller nukes are more efficient which is why the U.S. doesn’t bother with the… Read more »

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher
March 31, 2016 18:24

I don’t want the Rethuglican wing of the Amerikan Statist Partei to recover, I want it burned to the ground and all surviving ringleaders decorating lampposts and trees. Same for the Demoncrat wing.

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher
March 31, 2016 18:31

Fuck em all with a saguaro using straight capsaicin for lube.
And damnit the edit isn’t working.

LC Xystus
LC Xystus
March 31, 2016 19:22

Once again we ask ourselves: Of all the planes that could have been brought down on 9/11 through heroic action on part of the passengers, why did Flight 93 have to be the one? The one targeted at Washington DC? Because Boss Bog wasn’t done with the place, & maybe He’s still not. The capital belongs to us Usonians anyway,… Read more »

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches
April 1, 2016 02:13

Trump’s value isn’t as a candidate. It’s as a murder weapon for the GOP. With any luck he both literally and figuratively Red Weddings the convention.

The worse, the better.

FrankOK
FrankOK
April 1, 2016 09:36

I continually have to ask why the GOP establishment is devoting so much time to tearing down Trump. Sure – if Trump is elected it may well destroy the GOP as we know it. So, what’s wrong with that? Cruz is in bed with many special interests. His wife, Heidi, is a Goldman partner, a CFR member, and one of… Read more »

tweell
tweell
April 1, 2016 11:57

My trust level for the GOPe is zero. It’s been over twenty years since they backed up words with actions. The Democrats have a better track record for honesty, they’ll occasionally admit they’re going to screw us over.

Trump may betray us. The other candidates already have.

angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster
April 1, 2016 13:11

tweell @ #:

Trump may betray us.

I doubt he will, not intentionally. He might be thwarted though.
:em06:

The other candidates already have.

That goes without saying.
:em02:
FYI
Ryan has primary opposition.
:em01:

LC Xystus
LC Xystus
April 1, 2016 18:32

I continually have to ask why the GOP establishment is devoting so much time to tearing down Trump. Sure – if Trump is elected it may well destroy the GOP as we know it. So, what’s wrong with that?

Obviously–as you may already know–there would go their nice Republican careers!

LCBren
Admin
LCBren
April 2, 2016 00:07

. He’s the same guy he always was, the same guy that most of us in the conservative movement and GOP have been staunchly opposing for the past year. Yes, we know. People are supporting Trump for the very reason that the GOP IS NOT conservative in the least. People are supporting Trump because the GOP has the worlds track… Read more »

single stack
single stack
April 2, 2016 12:03

People are supporting Trump for the very reason that the GOP IS NOT conservative in the least.

So the Trumptards intend to nominate an authoritarian opportunist who is NOT conservative in the least.
Yeah, that’ll show ’em.
Foot, meet Bullet.

LCBren
Admin
LCBren
April 2, 2016 17:55

So the Trumptards intend to nominate an authoritarian opportunist who is NOT conservative in the least.

If you want authoritarian, nanny state, regulatory, corrupt..go give Hillary some tongue.

Idiot.

LC R6
LC R6
April 2, 2016 18:04

So the Trumptards

Rather than have a cogent argument with you after that little jewel all I have to say is after Trump is elected I hope you are so distraught that you smash your own teeth out on the grill of a passing Semi.

LC R6
LC R6
April 2, 2016 19:46

I have a question, and pardon me if it has already been discussed and answered here because I have been of necessity long absent. When I first joined this community it was during the 2004 presidential election. I found a group of like minded individuals that had the proclivity of using colorful invective and the occasional word “poop” to both… Read more »

FrankOK
FrankOK
April 3, 2016 23:17

LC R6 @ #:
:em01: :em01:

Tallulah
Tallulah
April 3, 2016 23:43

Ted has been using Leftoid arguments against Trump lately. I’ve supported him and donated to him, but I’m giving him up. 1 — He lost the South, which was his best shot at winning primaries. Therefore, there’s no way he can perform well enough in the rest of the country, where there is a fair amount of prejudice AGAINST evangelicals… Read more »

Tallulah
Tallulah
April 3, 2016 23:48

I’ve been waiting to her what Stefan Molyneux would say about this after a thorough analysis. I really like him. This is what he said about the Michelle Fields nothingburger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYjrHVTJ67c I noticed that her alleged bruises, in the photo she posted to the internet, were on her FOREARM, while Cory Lewandowski grabbed her by the BICEP. As you can… Read more »

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches
April 4, 2016 19:27

Ol’ Ted just needs to release a “Let’s go Cruz’n in my lowrider” bumper stickers and t-shirts. :em01:

LC R6
LC R6
April 5, 2016 03:48

I just have to pick one, yanno I do know. Thanks for the clarification. I guess my inclination toward Trump is three fold. 1) He is an extremely successful business man and impulsivity doesn’t coincide with that kind of success which gives me a level of gemütlichkeit about his bluster. and; B) He pisses everyone off that I think needs… Read more »

Fa Cube Itches
Fa Cube Itches
April 5, 2016 15:22

Emperor Misha I @ #: Take Kevin “The Working Class Just Needs to Kill Themselves, Filthy Peasants!” Williamson, for instance. I never knew he fancied himself a member of the aristocracy but if he does, all I can say is that he doesn’t meet the criteria, not to mention that he doesn’t have the first clue as how to be… Read more »

irish19
irish19
April 10, 2016 13:14
angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster
April 10, 2016 14:54

The Boston Globe came up with a fake front page regarding a Trump presidency. The editorial that’s tied into it is hilarious in it’s complete and utter failure to understand why the GOP race is down to Trump and Cruz. But then it is the Boston Globe. So bad you can’t even line a bird cage with it. It could… Read more »