Speaking of course about the allegations that he’s the biggest horn dog since Billy Jeff…

Ahem… Where to start? Two words: National Enquirer.

Yes, we know full well that they have a certain track record for being right, no denying that, but to address at least one thing in that regard: The whole “they wouldn’t dare print this if it wasn’t true because lawsuit!” That actually only makes sense if they’ve published anything they can’t defend in a court of law unless they’re right. In this case, all we’re seeing, but we could be wrong, is allegations that some allegations exist.

You can’t sue National Enquirer over that and expect to win anymore than anybody could sue Harry Dingbat Reid for claiming that “somebody” told him that Mitt Romney hadn’t paid taxes for 10 years or so. Unless we’re missing something, which could very well be the case. Any legal eagles feel free to point out where we’re wrong.

With all of that out of the way, it is troubling, because even though we’re very skeptic, that’s still not proof of innocence. We’re just going to go with the old, archaic notion of “innocent until proven guilty” here, even though we know it’s not hardly fashionable anymore in this “there must be a fire even if we’re not sure we can see the smoke because attention!” age.

On the other hand, if it turns out it is true, then he’s done as far as we’re concerned. He’d be as big of a fraud as Marco the Amnesty Cabana Boy, and there’s no wiggling out of that one. We didn’t buy it with Billy Jeff, and we sure as hell isn’t going to buy it with Cruz if he’s guilty.

Which brings us to another thing. Even keeping Cruz completely out of this since there’s no evidence as of yet, speaking entirely of different pols that have been caught with their dicks in the cookie jar in the past, what the everloving fornication is it that makes high profile males incapable of keeping it in their pants???

Just how the bloody hell important and fascinating can one particular vajayjay not belonging to your spouse be that you’re willing to destroy your honor, integrity and future just to get your one-eyed trouser snake dipped in it?

We’re being dead serious here. Just what is wrong with those idiots? Most of them have at least one functioning hand left, don’t they?

Just another one of those things that make His Imperial Majesty go “screw the human race, they’re an utter waste of organic materials.”


By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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