Hey, Three Out of Thirteen Ain’t Bad…

Laughing through the tears here. Well, not exactly. It turned out better than we’d feared, but it’s not exactly a game changer of a Super Tuesday. Unless you happen to be one of the wishcasters thinking that Trump was facing an uphill fight for the nomination, that is. If that’s the case, we sympathize. But you still need to get your head out of your arse and quit seeing what you want to see.

So, the results… We’ll go with the AoSDD because they’ve been eerily accurate in the past (good job for a bunch of “amateurs”, we’d say! Our most sincere respect!)

Not counting Alaska and their delegate, who still hasn’t been told who he’s supposed to be voting for, we have the following:

Trump: AL, AR, GA, MA, TN, VT, VA.
Cruz: TX, OK (our good neighbors)

And the despicable Amnesty Boy… drumroll… MN. Hey, he won one! Finally! After a mere 13 attempts!

Go home, Marco. You’re drunk.

No, seriously. Go home. Nobody likes you. Actually, according to polls, they don’t even seem to like you much at home, so maybe you should just find a nice, quiet dumpster. In Guadalajara.

Of course, he won’t go home, because he’s the worst kind of loser. The one who just doesn’t get that he is one.

As to our boy Cruz well, he got TX. We never really seriously doubted that he would, but some of the polls were a bit disturbing, and if he’d lost TX, it’d be over. Also, His Imperial Majesty would have suspected fraud since it took us all day to vote for him all the times we did. And Okieland, of course, and thanks for that, fellow twister aficionados!

But it’s going to take quite a bit more than that to win. Still, he’s still in, and that ain’t nothing.

All over RINO land, the lying weasels who always cried about “Party Unity!” when it was us who had to swallow their slimy surrender monkeys are already howling about how they’ll vote for the Hildebeest or stay at home if Trump wins. Good. It’s very helpful of you to provide us with further evidence of your Quisling opportunism and hypocrisy. Not that we needed any more evidence, but it’s always nice when your enemy is kind enough to make mistakes in front of G-d and everybody.

No, we’re obviously not talking about those who’ve always followed their conscience. That’s called “having principles” which, albeit not necessarily always the most pragmatic move, is certainly never a dishonorable one.

As to ourself, we’ll vote for Trump if he’s the nominee. We’ve held our noses enough times for the RINOs, it’ll be nice to hold it for once for somebody who enjoys kicking them in the balls, even if that turns out to be his only qualification. And we don’t know that yet. However, we do know that if we end up with the Hildebeest or an Establishment whore boy, we’ll get four more years of the same. In the former case because that’s who she is and, in the latter, because… Seriously, you guys, haven’t we already gone through at least a decade of proof that that will also be the same?

Name one single thing that resembles a conservative victory brought to us by the GOPe over the last 16 years. Please. We have all day. Did spending go down? Did any of the alphabet soup agencies get disbanded? Do we have border security? Come on. Just one thing. Please. And make it something that actually matters to those of us who work for a living.

With Cruz, we know that will change. He’s been working hard to change things since he started his career in politics. Too bad he’s been the only one in a pool full of treasonous, backstabbing, GOPe sharks, but you can’t hardly fault him for not actually achieving much when he’s had to fight single-handedly while keeping a constant eye out for daggers. From his alleged “allies”. With Trump, there’s at least an outside chance things might change. Yes, we know. On one side we have the ones saying he’s Hitler, and on the other we have the ones saying he’s the Second Coming.

He’s neither of those things, and we don’t know where on the spectrum in between he falls.

It’s not like we’ve got much to lose at this point, is it?

The one thing we’ve found the most frustrating about this primary isn’t that Americans are pissed off at the GOPe and want anything, anything that isn’t them. We’d been wondering how long it would take for our fellow countrymen to finally wake up to that bleedingly obvious fact. And we certainly understand, with every fiber of our being, why they won’t settle for yet another McShitstain or Romneycare who will fuck them right over should he get into office.

What we’ve found frustrating is that there IS such a candidate, somebody who has all the right enemies, somebody the GOPe hates more than they hate hatred itself, somebody who is a brilliant conservative with the balls to stand up and piss in the GOPe’s cereal every chance he gets, somebody who has repeatedly done so and who gives not a single fuck what they think of him, yet he can’t get the votes. We absolutely understand it when Americans like ourself say “we’ve been raped by our own party so many times we’ve lost count, so we’re going for somebody who isn’t like them.” We feel that way ourself because they’re right.

But what we don’t understand is that they fail to see that we already have somebody who’s running on that same sentiment, we already have somebody who is not only promising that he’ll kick the GOPe in their shriveled ballsacks if he’s elected President, he’s already done so. For years. To the point where the GOPe swine are making the sign of the cross every time they hear his name. Or would, if they hadn’t been worshiping Satan.

He has an actual track record!

It was he who, alone among all of the cowering weasels in the Senate, worked to kill Ruuuubio’s Amnesty Bill.

It was he who, almost alone, stood up to Princess Precious Perfect’s tyranny and “shut down” the government, proving that a government “shut down” didn’t mean anything other than the Prozi Punk in the White House shutting down memorials and tourist attractions all over the country.

It was he who, for the first time, stood up and called out Bitch McCockless’ blatant treachery and lies on the floor of the Senate.

Yet America would rather bet on the unknown?

Well, it’s still better than the known status quo, and we can live with that, even if it frustrates us.

At least, no matter how the chips may fall, we know that we’ll at long last have the opportunity to watch the hated establishment burn.

And that, too, ain’t nothing.

Thatisall.