First off, His Imperial Majesty would really like it if we could all just stop using the word “intelligence” within 600 statutory miles of anything having to do with Washington DC.

It only tends to make everybody look silly. While they laugh their arses off. And vomit.

Second, if you’d like to read an excellent summary of just how much lark’s vomit and unmitigated bullshit said “report” is, you need go no further than to this article written by somebody who actually bothered to read the report.

Unlike the swarms of “journalists” who immediately took to the airwaves screaming about how it totally, like, you know, proves that their lord Obola and her cankleness, Killary, are, like, you know, totally saints so there, neener. They had deadlines to meet, and it’d already taken them several hours to stumble through the first one tenth of the two page executive summary.

If you don’t feel like reading the above linked article, and you really should, we did and it’s bloody excellent and full of what used to be known as “facts”, here’s our Imperial Summary:

The government had allegedly done something wrong.

To ensure that justice was done in case they had, indeed, done something wrong, the government told the government to investigate the government by asking them if they, the government, had done something wrong. When the government told the government that the government had absolutely not done anything wrong, the government then said “oh? Alright then, nothing to see here, move along now” and wrote a long report about the government having done nothing wrong, as proven by the government asking the government if they had.

And you’d better believe it! Would they lie to you? What are you? Some kind of NAZI??????

Any questions?



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By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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Special Ed
Special Ed
November 25, 2014 01:42

Hardly surprising. The Obama campaign in ’08 was accused of receiving illegal contributions. They announced that they had thoroughly investigated themselves, and – whaddayaknow!- they were completely compliant and above board. Whew! Dodged a bullet there!

Why would this be any different?


LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.

Ya, no shit, eh?

Eric Praline
Eric Praline
November 25, 2014 02:43

“After an intense investigation, we have determined that the fox has no culpability in the henhouse incident.”
-International Brotherhood of Foxes, Local 187

November 25, 2014 06:01

Even that useless twat Linseed Gramnesty said this was a load of horse manure. I’ll wait to see what Trey Gowdy has to say.

November 25, 2014 09:55

Your lead sentence on within 600 miles hits me hard. I’m only 120 miles away and the stench is unbearable. And it reminds me of the Tom Clancy quote, ‘DC is 60 square miles surrounded by reality.” Actually it is 68 SqMi.

LC SecondMouse
November 25, 2014 17:22

The analysis at the Federalist that Misha linked is worth the read. If it is accurate, someone has some ‘splainin’ to do over how much was glossed over with doublespeak and misleading language, after two fucking years of so-called investigation. I will wait for Gowdy’s work as well, but I fear that part of the reason why this whitewashing was… Read more »

Retired Spook
Retired Spook
November 25, 2014 20:13

So it totally had nothing to do with moving Libyan guns and munitions through Turkey to Syria. Boy, that’s a relief! That would have been hugely ugly and illegal and stuff.

Glad we got that all straightened out then.

Retired Spook
Retired Spook
November 27, 2014 19:47

And of course, Christians in Action (or is that Cocaine Import Agency? Competence Is Accidental?) would never lie about something that might put THEIR tits in the wringer, would they? Nah, of course not! So we had four people killed and the people who did it, the people who let it happen, and the people who lied about it all… Read more »