Our old friend Bill Quick nails it with that new name for the Peepul’s Republik of Kalifornistan.

A Southern California couple received a letter from Glendora city officials threatening to fine them $500 if they don’t get their sun-scorched brown lawn green again, reports AP.

We’re just scratching our head here trying to figure out what possible justification there could be for fining people for not watering their own lawns on their own property. But this is KafkaFornia, and government never needed any justification. Not to mention that the couple is watering their lawn, just not enough.

And they would just love to water it some more, actually, but they’re not allowed to, you see. Because of the same government:

They could also be fined $500 if they water their lawn too much; they’re currently only watering twice a week. With more than 80% of California in an extreme drought, according to the Los Angeles Times, the state water board voted this week to implement emergency conservation plans and gave the OK to fine water wasters up to $500 a day.

So if you don’t water your lawn, you get fined $500 by your government, and if you do water your lawn, you — get fined $500 by your government…

Aren’t you glad that you keep voting for government to make decisions for you that you’re too stupid to make yourselves? After all, that is what government is all about: We need some brilliant Einsteins in government to make decisions for us because we, unlike them, are too damn dumb to make the “right” decisions, don’t we?

We hope you’re glad, anyway, because it’s what you got. And considering that it’s what you’ve been voting for for decades, we really can’t find much by way of sympathy for you.

Now go vote for some more Prozi Democrats, why don’t you? You know you will. Because that’s what you’ve always done before.

We guess you really are too fucking dumb after all.


0 0 votes
Article Rating

By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
July 25, 2014 17:21

Here’s a way to solve both problems.

July 26, 2014 04:40

yup, and radio messages telling us we can only water on even/odd days, and telling us how we should give up our lawns for ‘California friendly’ type plants (which would be scrub grasses that are tan 3/4 of the year and need to grow at least 4″ long in order to gather enough sun and CO2, cacti, and joshua trees,… Read more »

July 26, 2014 18:33

Easy fix: Raise taxes,subsidize green paint for home owners,
fine them if they don’t use it,
fine them if they spill any.

Option: hang the city officials upside down in the public square, take lots of pics!

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
July 27, 2014 12:05

God, I’m glad I don’t live there. Fuck ’em, they voted this shit in.

July 28, 2014 11:03

Mussolini and his wife had a nice amusement-park ride.