The OH department of Wildlife and Preservation was called in to downtown Columbus Ohio today when a rabid Wilde-beast was mistakenly allowed to escape it’s minimum wage cage at Burger King and terrorize citizens.
Wildlife officers said that this species is extremely low in intelligence but highly aggressive and should be treated with the utmost caution. They also noted that a marked increase in sightings of these dangerous beasts of prey are becoming increasingly common as more and more decent people are forced to work in inner city hell hole liberal utopia of next Tuesday environments to eke out a meager existence in the gilded age of Obama-nomics, and find themselves suddenly in the breeding grounds of the Hairy Wilde-beast and the just as dangerous White Crack-Ho and Black Ghetto rat.
The Hairy Wide-beast is a sub-species of Hom0-Erectus, believed to be the blow by product of two or possibly 3 or more doped up smelly flower children rutting like pigs without adequate birth control, which was recently outlawed by the Hobby Lobby.
The species is easily identified by the incessant screaming of incoherent sentences such as “jingoist fucking asshole” and “white privileged motherfucker”. Noted for their violent outbursts they are prone to trample on fellow citizens First Amendment Rights, and spout such profound witticisms as “No uterus No Opinion”. It is further thought that this species emulates Nazi theological thought patterns and would gladly stuff every “white privileged racist asshole” they happen to disagree with into a box car at the point of a gun, to be delivered to the nearest Zyklon-B Facility.
Further identifying features according to Ohio’s Wild Life Control officers are – EBT Cards hanging out of their pockets, bulging pants and or blouse seams stretched to the breaking point by cellulite, rotten protruding teeth often accompanied by chronic halitosis, sloping or protruding brow, and an overwhelming stench of rancid french fries and rotted pickles.
While not completely clear, scientists think the Hairy Wilde-Beast to be a close cousin to both the White Trash Crack-Ho and Black Ghetto-Rat, with blood ties to Hillary Clinton and Bill Ayers still being investigated. It is however, know for fact the species is heavily influenced by NOW NARAL, NAMBLA, Wendy Davis, and the Pajama Boy of Obama’s ACA Commercials.
Asked what one should do when confronted with a Angry Hairy Wide-Beast – The OH Department of Wildlife spokesman stated “Shoot the thing in the head. Empty your magazine. It’s the only sure way to avoid being mauled and possibly contracting fucktardliberalitis”.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g67z_xBe07Q[/youtube]
I just read this on Hot Air. I like your version much better.
The Kosmical Ironicalness of that ass-ugly sack of shit protesting about abortion rights is that, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get knocked up if she broke into the local sperm bank while packing a 25-hp turkey baster shaped like Rosie O’Donut’s fist. The poor sperms would commit mass suicide and her crotch would look like an airport… Read more »
BC, thanks for that image, you, my friend, are the master….but G-d please no photoshops.
LC Ohio Right Wing Nut @ #:
Photoshopping that creature could only improve it. Why seeing Hillary Clinton, Janet Reno and Michelle Obama naked and doing a Ménage à trois would be brain bleach compared to this..thing.
How can someone be so violently passionate about killing babies?
Evil. Pure, narcissistic evil.
do you know what song was going through my mind while I watched that hog spout her filth?
Boom Boom Out Go The :Lights
I suspect there will be an opening very soon at a Columbus Burger King. And good luck explaining THAT firing at your next interview.
The liberals self-loathing and divisive tactics can’t deter our commitment to those that cannot speak; for their right to be given a chance to live and prosper is the same as me, a man. If I can’t have an opinion on some one because I lack ovaries, how on Earth can I address anyone’s wicked behavior unless I too possess… Read more »
Hang on, everybody — I think we should all take a deep breath, count to ten, and on reflection, give a little credence to at least one thing this poor, maligned freak of nature has to say. I mean, have a little pity, brethren and cistern! This creature was obviously the product of a bad upbringing by neglectful, ProgNazi egg-and-sperm… Read more »
KArnold @ #:
Excellent points. The problem is that I wouldn’t want to see that mongoloid beast contort herself to rebut them.
Now Jessica Alba? There’s a libtard I would like to see twisted into a few “awkward” positions.
But not this thing. 
How can someone be so violently passionate about killing babies? She wasn’t. Someone invited her to a Cunt Bumper party knowing she was a couple of sandwiches shy of a picnic and they rubbed her nipples a little. They then told her if she went out and behaved in this fashion they would rub other more tingly parts (secretly vowing… Read more »
Love it. Thanks.
Bitoa’s Dreg Report::
University Offers Female Students Extra Credit For Not Shaving Pussies…
BITOA @ #:
Much to the relief of felines everywhere!
I’d like to thank all of you. Mentioning this gelf and sex repeatedly in the same paragraph has caused my dick to retreat into my body. I now have an innie. Urinating should be interesting. The only solution I can think of is drinking until today has been wiped from my memory.
Shoulda said “Love it. Tanks!” Dammit! sigh …
Eric Praline @ #: I’d like to thank all of you. Mentioning this gelf and sex repeatedly in the same paragraph has caused my dick to retreat into my body. I now have an innie. Urinating should be interesting. Let us know if the alcohol treatment works or if the condition is permanent. If the latter, we can market it… Read more »
“No uterus No Opinion” Ok Hefer, I got one, and an opinion to go with it. Do yourself a favor and take a bath, and wash your hair. Google Hair Brush and learn to use it. You’ll thank me for it. Go enroll in Tech School and learn an actual employable trade and get the hell out from the behind… Read more »
angrywebmaster @ #:
I got good n ripped and spent some time over at Soylent Green’s, that coaxed him out thank God. If he didn’t come back, I was worried I might have to marry some scrawny Kenyan tard outta Chicago.
LC Xealot @ #:
Since she’s nothing more then a clump of cells, perhaps we should abort her.
