You Get What You Vote For, Good and Hard

And nobody should know this better than Fallujah sur Lac Michigan, as we’ve decided to call the festering swamp that spawned King Barack.

This Easter weekend, 45 people were shot in the city that’s come to be known as ‘Chiraq.’ And until Obama can get the guns off the streets of his hometown, the bloodshed won’t stop.

Can’t he just go organize some communities or something? That seemed to work so very wonderfully for him in the past, didn’t it? He became president based on that sole qualification, didn’t he? So surely it must be a very wonderful skill only a select few mortals possess if, indeed, he is a mere mortal, which ProgNazis seem to have a problem with accepting.

Not that getting the guns off the street would help. People would just get knifed instead. Or burned. Or clobbered. Or run over. But perhaps he could get everything off the streets with his magical, LightBringing Powers? No worries. His economic policies are already doing that.

President Obama may have gotten our troops out of Iraq,

By unconditionally surrendering in a war his predecessor and the U.S. Armed Forces had helpfully won for him.

But the gunfire in his hometown of Chicago is still earning it a searing nickname coined by young people who live there.


On Easter weekend, 45 people were shot in the city, six of them children.

Five youngsters under the age of 15—four girls and a boy—were shot in a playground where they had gone after Easter services at a nearby church

They were obviously bigoted, Christofascist h8rs anyway, so who cares?

Then follows a litany of people being shot by… We honestly don’t know what, since guns are illegal in Chicago, so obviously there aren’t any guns there at all. After all, that’s how gun bans work, right? You ban guns, and then immediately they all get turned in, particularly the guns owned by criminal scumbags psycho enough to go gunning down innocent people, because we all know that nobody is more law-abiding than a psychopathic criminal murderer.

Murdering a team of teenage b-ball players in cold blood is one thing, but owning a gun illegally in spite of clear laws against it… Now that’s just one line a psychopath won’t cross.

FBI Director James Comey happened to be in Chicago the following Monday, and he ascribed much of the violence to the gang culture so deeply ingrained in the city. But Comey had little to say about what Chicago Police Superintendent, [political appointee and professional ass-licker] Garry McCarthy recognizes as the core problem.

“Until we do something about guns, don’t expect things to change overnight,” McCarthy said at a press conference that same day.

You could start doing something about it by issuing firearms and training to all law-abiding citizens, for instance. That would cull the herd of psychopath mass murderers quite a bit. In a hurry.

McCarthy noted that Chicago cops have seized 1,500 illegal guns so far this year, but the people caught with the weapons are all too often back on the street all too soon.

“It’s like running on a hamster wheel,” McCarthy said of the effort to grapple with the problem. “We’re drinking from a fire hose, seizing these guns, and people are back out on the street. They’re not learning that carrying a firearm is going to have a serious impact on their lives.”

Possibly from said “serious impact” being kept in the drunk tank for just as long as it takes to sign their release papers. One might, cynically of course, suggest that the “serious impact” isn’t deemed quite serious enough by psychopathic mass murderers.

McCarthy invoked the memory of Hadiya Pendleton, the 15-year-old who was killed by a stray round in 2013, just days after performing at Obama’s second inauguration.

Why, it’s just like somebody taking a piss in a baptismal font days after the resurrection of Jesus Christ! Blasphemy! Weren’t the waters supposed to recede once our once and future lord Obama was crowned king of all that moves upon the Earth?

Side note: We do believe that the long overdue retirement of god king Obama in 2017 will be seen, by “journalists”, as a blessing in the long run. For one thing, it will give their badly abused genitals a chance to recover from the chafing and calluses from years of masturbating furiously every time they type out his most blessed name.

“If you don’t go to jail for gun possession, you continue to carry guns,” McCarthy said. “You continue to carry guns, and people get shot.”

And if you DO go to jail for gun possession, you apparently start carrying guns as soon as you leave jail again. It’s almost as if criminals don’t care if they break the law! Puzzling! Inconceivable! Mind-boggling!

Why McCarthy is Superintendent of anything more complicated than his wife’s anal warts is what’s REALLY puzzling, but he obviously has shown great skill when it comes to picking the right sphincters to felch.

Listen, we’ll make it simple: “Gun control” is like Quintus Fabius Maximus, having learned of the massive losses due to weapons (and the piss-poor tactics of Gaius Terentius Varro) at Cannae, making a tour of the Legions, confiscating all of their swords and javelins.

Because, you know, people might get hurt by those things.

“No, you silly wannabe emperor”, I hear you Progtards howl, “that’s not a correct allegory. The correct allegory would be to ban Carthaginian weapons! Ha!”

Yeah. And we’re sure that Hannibal would comply immediately. After all, he might get sent to prison if he didn’t. For a couple of days. Silly us. Why didn’t WE think of that? OK, so there’s the small problem of getting him to submit to arrest, but surely that would be no problem for a progressive genius.

Nevertheless, you progtards have it right in one respect: Chicago and the situation up there IS a war. Here’s a free hint: The solution ISN’T to disarm those on your side. It’s to arm them even BETTER. And then to use that to DISarm the enemy.

Preferably by killing them.


Very, very dead.


0 0 votes
Article Rating
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
April 22, 2014 22:47

“…his hometown of Chicago”??? Bullshit. Chicago is MY hometown. Go write about Nairobi or some shit if you wanna go there.

lc purple raider
lc purple raider
April 22, 2014 23:24

Where I live now is as far south as you can be and still be in Cook County. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, I can’t get that I must travel to Chicago for. The shithole that is Chicago is lawless in the extreme. I keep saying one of our enemies should nuke the city, but they won’t listen. Chicago will… Read more »

April 23, 2014 06:29

Chicago. The poster child for the perfect Democrat run city.
The previous poster child for the perfect Democrat city was forced to sell it’s award due to bankruptcy.

April 23, 2014 06:30

We here are far enough away (60 miles across the lake) to avoid all but big bertha direct fire, however, all those gang bangers in Chiraq come over to Benton Harbor MI for R&R and to pick up more meth, pot or whatever they need at a discount, and here they can relax, they only get about 1 or 2… Read more »

April 23, 2014 08:28

I work on the west side out by Cicero Ave and Division. Chiraq is right. The number of misapplied youths running around is appalling. When will the average Negro figure out that he’s been scammed by his elected officials. They prey on the populace and give back just enough to keep them bound in chains of gold and silver. We… Read more »

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
April 23, 2014 14:06

They voted it in, and they keep voting to retain it. Fuck them, and feed them fish heads.

April 23, 2014 17:59

if gun control worked chicago would be like mayberry.what we see in motown and chicago is the end result of the welfare state as father to a generation of bastards.

lc purple raider
lc purple raider
April 23, 2014 21:36

They voted it in, and they keep voting to retain it. Fuck them, and feed them fish heads.

They voted them in, but everyone here has to suffer.

I’d move, but my wife is still getting chemo.

April 24, 2014 09:07

I live and work a mile or so from the Damn Ryan expressway and can see the battle lines that the 22nd precinct stands watch on. It’s not the ‘bangers’ I fear; the betrayal the dems will provide the ‘over-black’ gov worker’s pensions, healthcare, city infrastructure waste and boondoggles (bike paths on the South-side…PAH-leeese) will bite the dependent class so… Read more »

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
April 24, 2014 10:58
April 24, 2014 11:37

I just saw something about Comrade DeBlasio of the People’s Republic of Banana’s New York City telling a company that buys spent brass and lead that they won’t be allowed to bid on buying all the spent casing that NYC Police generate. (They do fire a lot of ammo at innocent bystanders after all) This same company bought a couple… Read more »

April 25, 2014 03:10

As in Jacques Chiraq? Well, Obama is taking the Fwench attitude…bend over, spread ’em and sing “I surrender dear”