Aren’t You Glad You’re in a Union?

That is, if you are.

Many’s the time that His Imperial Anti-Socialistness has expressed his unrestrained opinion about unions and their usefulness (hint: none, in this day and age), and many’s the time that he’s been met with, if not outrage, then at least the occasional “but how can you say that about organizations that have done so much for the working man (or woman)?”

We generally, if it’s a good day and we’ve had our morning smoke and coffee, limit our reply to the observation that the days of 12-year-olds mining coal for pennies a day are long gone and, although we will not deny the unions’ share of the glory in that achievement, the only “working men and women” that the unions have done anything for since then are the “working” men and women employed by the unions. Their due-paying members, on the other hand? Not so much.

The unions managed to blackmail and threaten the auto industry into bankruptcy which, if you have at least two functioning neurons, wouldn’t seem to be benefiting their auto industry-working members all that much. Unless you call being able to put an impressive “last salary” on their future job applications as they’re surviving on food stamps a “benefit.”

Color us cold and cynical, but to us an actual job, even if it doesn’t pay the $85/hr that your union seems to think you ought to be paid for turning a screwdriver, is better than no job at all.

Or how about this example?:

A group of teachers in the North Clackamas School District took the initiative Thursday, amid losing their jobs because of budget cuts, by gathering signatures in an effort to have their voices heard by their union.

The teachers, who gathered outside their union office, said they want a response from the union and put their demands in writing in the form of a petition.

Those speaking out said it shouldn’t have reached this point, and they would have accepted the district’s offer, favoring a wage freeze to save jobs.

So the local School District is facing, along with every other living soul in the United States (excepting Congress parasites) a budget crunch and has to cut back. Not wanting to throw their teachers on the street, they offered to keep them all employed if only they’d agree to no raises this year. The teachers voted among themselves and found that they’d rather be employed with no raise than unemployed with, well, no raise… Not surprising, really, and proving that teachers aren’t as dumb as we sometimes think they are.

What did the union allegedly “representing” and “fighting for” those members do? Do as their due-paying members wanted them to do, i.e. actually represent their members and their wishes? Hell no. They turned the offer down and, as a result, a whole bunch of teachers got their pink slips.

Yay unions! What would we do without them?

We don’t know. Work, maybe?

So now we’re faced with the hilarious and highly appropriate first of watching now-unemployed union members (thanks to their union bosses) picketing their own union for redress.

Personally, we’d say that a much more effective way of seeking redress would be to bury the union’s offices in torn up membership cards, adding a bit of gasoline and applying some matches, but we don’t know if Oregon is a Right to Work state, so leaving the union may not be an option.

There’s another conundrum for you: If unions are alleged to be such a huge boon to their members, how come they only seem to survive when employees are forced to join them? There seems to be a logical disconnect buried in there, but we’re sure that we’ll see that it’s just our silly clinging to archaic notions such as “logic” and “reason” causing our confusion when we finish our future stint in one of Il Douche’s re-education camps.

So Il Douche has already done a great deal to take over the banking industry, he’s taken over the automobile industry, he seeks, through blackmail, to take over what NEA funded artists can and cannot produce (in essence turning them into the Reichspropagandaministerium of his Reich), he’s trying to take over 1/6th of our economy, the health care industry, and, through his wholly owned subsidiaries, the unions, is working hard to take over the labor pool as well.

Yet we’re being told by NuConservatives that we’re being “unhelpful”, “silly” or downright “paranoid” when we posit that we’ve seen all of this happening before. Somewhere overseas, about 80 years ago.

Listen, we’d very much like it if we didn’t have to point out that Il Douche is a fascist of the first water, but we can’t very well keep silent as long as he keeps doing stuff that is, well, fascist, can we?

So we’ll say it again to all of the NuConservatives and others who just won’t admit to the harsh reality staring them in the eyes every day: If you’re scared of admitting the true nature of what Il Douche is doing, then try opening a history book. That will make you really scared.

OK, so he hasn’t invaded Poland. Neither had Hitler, in 1933, and we guarandamntee you that, had he run on a platform of doing that, he’d still be some random nut who tried to get his party represented in the Reichstag.

It’s amazing, really. For a group of people who, we’re willing to bet, have often either said out loud or at least thought that the Germans or Italians were stupid for not seeing where their leaders were taking them because it was all so obvious, don’t you know?, those NuConservatives sure are remarkably capable of committing the exact same mistake that they like chastising others for.



  1. 1
    SeniorD says:

    What do sheep, elephants, buffalo and unions have in common? – They’re all herd animals following the diktats of the Alpha Male.

    I’ve never been a member of any union, (although I’ve heard of certain North Sea Navies having their own union). When talking to members of unions ranting about ‘management’ I simply ask them ‘How much does the Local Business Manager and Local President make per year compared to your salary?’ Oftentimes, the difference is at least 2x the member’s income.

    That revelation makes for some interesting facial expressions.

  2. 2
    LC Gregory says:

    Right to Work is the kicker. If a Union’s so damn great, give their members the choice of whether or not to belong. Of course, that can’t happen, because, in best socialist style, the union bosses know better than the little man they represent.

    I always wonder just HOW many union members (other than the AFSCME gov’t employees) are REALLY in favor of the unions’ political ideas – Abortion on demand, gay marriage, the new AmnesTeddy bill, and of COURSE all of Obamessiah’s spending bills – when Big Labor is just dragging them in, kicking and screaming.

  3. 3
    The Boid says:

    The first twenty years of my life my dad worked non-union blue collar jobs. The past 14 years of my life my dad has worked a blue collar job in a union and my family has fared much better under the union. Are my dad’s union bosses corrupt and to they funnel money to all sorts of things I and my dad would object to? I have no idea. But in my dads experience, he has fared much better in the union which has been a benefit to the whole family. I have also known people that have had bad experiences in unions.

    I guess my point is, unions are capable of both good and bad and I do believe if there is balance of power between managment and labor, people can be served well under a union. If either management or labor has too much power, corruption and/or abuse inevitably ensues.

    EDIT: For the record, my dad lives in a Right to Work state.

  4. 4
    crazylegs says:

    My mother worked in a poultry processing plant that was unionized for a good 10-12 years.

    My favorite memories include;
    -Losing our dental.
    -Increasing medical copays
    – yearly ICE raids,
    – Illegal Immigrant workers mistaking the handwashing basins for urinals.
    -the bi-yearly “Vote democrat” rallies,
    -Breakroom Salmonella outbreak sickening a quarter of the plant employees. (From contaminated produce shipments coming into the plant.)
    -and the yearly “Lets go on strike” Talks that came right before Christmas time.

    In short, my mother got hosed. The Union was a politicized joke, the plant played immigrant workers (Who only wanted pay raises for their family back home) against the American workers (Who wanted health and dental bennies for their spouses and children) against each other to assure that the union could never get either.

    My mom trained her own supervisor Multiple times, saw the workforce go from 3/4 local to 3/4 immigrant, and almost got carjacked in the parking lot.

    The union was too busy trying to get every one to vote for Bill Clinton to notice the frequent injuries and the lack of health care. The union didn’t notice when corporate attempted to get a load from a jackknifed semi through, (Luckily the USDA did, kind of hard not to notice when the entire facility started reeking of diesel fuel). The union sure as hell didn’t care that local people were being fired so that illegal immigrants could jack thier jobs, just as long as those illegal immigrants paid the same union dues.

    In short, this was a fubar plant run by a fubar company, busy fubarring its customers when it wasn’t trying to slip funny stuff behind the USDA inspectors backs. And the Union was too busy trying to tell people how to vote to bother protecting its employees or even the customers. The Union had a role it could fill, it just didn’t feel like it. Much easier to play “Vote for Bill” then to actually care about the people on the line.

    Oh, and that factory is still up and running; though admittedly under a new company. Have fun at dinner time tonight.

  5. 5
    LC LittleRott84 says:

    I’m unfortunately a member of one of the most infamous unions in the world-Teamsters. Granted, I have great health insurance and make decent money for it being a part-time job, but I shouldn’t have to bribe some liberal obese feline every week for it. Also, I got bullied (by management) into writing a letter to my senators to pass a bill that I was against, and most of the people that work there are nothing more than moronic, uneducated, former welfare recipients that are as lazy as all get out. :em12: :em96: Okay, there are a couple that are either going to college or working second jobs (one I know is a bartender that works there for the health benefits), but those are in the minority on my shift.

  6. 6
    Delftsman3 says:

    I used to be a Teamster…the base pay was the highest I ever earned for the work I did, but the dues took so much that the difference wasn’t worth the aggravation I felt every time the Union supported/worked for causes I was vehemently against. :em96: Personally, I would never work in a Union shop again.

    Also, as a truck driver, I had a great opportunity to be able to compare Union/non-union shipping-receiving docks in a number of different industries; and WITHOUT exception, the most efficiently run docks by far were all non-Union.
    The workers at non-union facilities always seemed to be happier as well, although I have to admit that “happier” may be a subjective opinion.

  7. 7

    Slightly off topic, but this isn’t America anymore.

    Even the cops say so.

  8. 8
    LC Proud Infidel says:

    I made the mistake of joining the union where I work (USW, United Steel Workers), and it’s mainly the incompetents shitheads protecting each other, if you’re not in the right clique, you’re screwed when it comes to being represented!! I’m about to exercise my right to quit the union under Florida’s Right to Work Law!! The dues re $40 a month, and there are a BUNCH of the top cronies at the National level that make 6-figure salaries!! Check it out on

  9. 9

    They serve a very useful purpose. Beating people up at political rallies. We’re talking left wingers. They’re not the cream of the intellectual crop. Every protest rally is “hey hey ho ho something something has to go”. That’s all they have the mental capacity for. OR the wonderfully robotic “what do we want” “something” “when do we want it?” “Now”. Both of those only require remembering one thing that’s different, the “something” and I imagine it takes them all day to freaking learn it. But beating people up? Hey, that comes naturally.

  10. 10
    LC Gregory says:

    In regards to The Boid’s comment @ :
    Hey, Boid – that’s the glory of Right To Work.

    The Unions have to give your dad something to get his dues money. When they have a Closed Shop, they don’t have to lift a finger.

  11. 11
    rabidfox says:

    Has anyone challenged the Constitutionality of Closed Shop laws — seems that they might be violating an individuals right of association.

  12. 12
    jsallison says:

    Welp, as a member of NTEU I’d like to mention that our particular gummint union does *NOT* have the right to strike. *Will* represent non-union members in issues versus management upon request and does not strong arm non-union members from what I’ve seen so far (and I’m not blind). They also do not have the ability to compel membership, in any state. What they do provide in my case is a union rep who is able to advocate my case in an avenue that in non-union businesses is not available.

    I have benefited from union representation in recent issues for situations in which I’d have been sucking big wind had I not had someone familiar with the relevant regulations (as I am not) go to bat for me.

    For example, I drive a good way to get to work (86 miles). In the not so distant past our shop closed early due to inclement weather. The following day all offices in our state were closed. The next day the office in which I worked was open, the office in my town (where I did not work) was closed. I called in to explain that I was unable to report to work due to the poor road conditions after attempting to go to work and winding up on the side of the road, sideways. I was required to spend annual leave as this was considered by management to be a voluntary absence. I filed a grievance and ultimately recovered my leave time in part due to my representation by my local union rep who was way more familiar with the relevant regulations than I.

    So, did I stick it to the man? No, rather, I believe that in this case the union was able to impress upon the powers that wannabe the desirability of make equitable decisions. Because frankly, when the organization that I work for has to choose between what is advantageous for the organization and what is equitable for the employee, their default setting is to decide in favor of the organization barring resistance, which the union can provide.

  13. 13

    I can see the value of Unions. But only if they are run by those “pure of heart” as it were. The theory, as I see it, is sound. Much like our government actually. But, exactly as is our government, it is populated by criminals. Power mad criminals. As with our government, there need to be those who keep it clean.

    But who watches the watchers?

    Just as our government, it should be the citizens/members. By all accounts, not very many people are hard corps enough to look out for their own best interests. If there were limits and control, people would actually have to be aware of what’s going on to watch their reps/leaders to insure that what is happening actually benefits them. But they’re too lazy to do that, and insufficiently testicular to make it so.

  14. 14
    LC Spare Parts says:

    Fuggetaboutit. The Civil Rights Laws are a capital violation of our rights to freely associate. Thisain’tgoin’nowhere. :em98:

  15. 15
    Terrapod says:

    Is it just me or are there other sane folks in the world somewhere. Why dont the teachers de-certify the union en masse? Then apply back at old wages less 1/2 what their union dues were, they get a real disposeable income raise by doing that and the school system saves even more money. C’mon folks, this is basic addition and subtraction!

  16. 16
    americanexpat says:

    Unions came about for a reason, which was to give the workers a collective voice against a management that, up until then, had held all the cards. Take industrial accidents: “Sorry you lost your arm in the stamping press, but you should have been more careful, so we’re not paying for your medical treatment. By the way, you’re fired”. If you think it didn’t happen, think again. By the time my father went to work at Ford in the 1950s, the worst of these abuses had been corrected, and with Walter Reuther in charge of the UAW, the union focused on core issues like pay, benefits, and working conditions. While Reuther was admittedly on the political left, he nevertheless kept out the commies as well as the the crooks, and avoided the scandals that plagued other unions like the Mine Workers and Teamsters. (Dad, although a lifelong Democrat, was very much against Reuther’s dalliance with left-wing politics in the Alliance for Labor Action with Teamsters president Frank Fitzsimmons in 1968, because Dad didn’t like commies, and didn’t care for people who had links to the Mob, which in those days included just about every senior officer in the Teamsters).

    But, as the Emperor noted, the days of children working in mines are long gone. I’ve never been in a union myself and have done quite well without one, thank you. Now unions only seem to exist to enrich their officers, to give their overpaid, underemployed members even less to do at ever-higher wages, and to support every whackjob leftist politician or policy that comes down the pike. This latest case of the teachers picketing their own union is just another example of an organization that supposedly exists for its members’ own benefits having gone seriously off the rails. It won’t be fixed during this administration, that’s for sure, but the labor laws are in desperate need of a rewrite.

  17. 17
    Cannon Fodder says:

    LC Beaker:

    Personally, with that pig being on camera at the time, I would have picked the sign back up and begged him to take me to jail for trespassing. Since he had not told me to leave the property first, it would be fun to sue the shit out of the police department as well as the officer for false arrest. He certainly couldn’t change his story to support trespassing since he walked away and left the guy standing there.


    So I take it you are an advocate of being paid for not working? I have never been paid for losing a day or two during inclement weather, nor do I feel anyone really should. Why in the hell you live more than 85 miles from where you work is beyond me, but doesn’t mean you should get paid for not being there when pretty much everyone else probably was there that day. If I took a job that was that far from my current residence, I would certainly move closer.

  18. 18
    The Lone Haranguer says:

    In regards to americanexpat’s comment @ :

    Unions came about for a reason, which was to give the workers a collective voice against a management that, up until then, had held all the cards. Take industrial accidents: “Sorry you lost your arm in the stamping press, but you should have been more careful, so we’re not paying for your medical treatment. By the way, you’re fired”.

    In the old days it took a brave person to be a union organizer, too, as they were frequently assaulted or even killed. They’re the reason we have things now taken for granted like worker’s comp insurance. But now that we have these things they are obsolete and superfluous.

  19. 19
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher says:

    Oregon is not a right to work state. The damned unions own the state government in fief simple.

    Terrapod sez:

    Why don’t the teachers de-certify the union en masse?

    The Oregon Education Association is the only union for teachers in the state. So if all the teachers in a school district want to de-certify the union, they aren’t even a drop in the bucket. Also refer above, no school district in Oregon is ever going to go against the OEA.

  20. 20
    LC Xystus says:

    I don’t have any relevant experience myself, but when my mother worked at the local State U she was represented by a law-enforcement local that belonged to the MobTeamsters. (Hence my twist on a Monty Python/Holy Grail line: My mother was a Teamster, & my father smelt of juniper berries!) Couldn’t say a thing about her salary & dues, but she did get some help when it appeared someone was trying to pass over her for expected promotion to head of her department.

    My take on Big Labor is that it’s retained some tactics that may have been better adapted to days when the manglement might hire its own goons. Nowadays a union thug could get killed trying that $#|+ around here–or against the Empire.

  21. 21
    LC Spare Parts says:

    What most craft unions did to their former customers who now buy the products they used to manufacture from importers, the public sector unions are doing to the taxpayers: bleeding them white, giving not 1 ounce of consideration for their ability, much less willingness to pay.

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