Well Ain’t That A First Class Bitch

I’m referring to the cock juggling thunder cunt responsible for this pile of steaming bullshit. (h/t Rurik)

DALLAS – Frank Larison is a disabled veteran with more than 14 years of service, including more than a year of combat duty in Vietnam.

Sounds like the type of person who should feel right at home in the Republic of Texas, right? Well, maybe not so much.

The 58-year-old former Marine now finds himself under attack by his Dallas homeowners association for displaying seven decals on his vehicle supporting the Marine Corps.

Condo commandos on the rampage yet again. Seems some over compensating asshat with way too much time on their hands has determined that the Eagle Globe and Anchor constitutes “commercial signage” and therefore is in violation of the Supreme Law of the Land, the HOA by-laws (insert trumpet flourishes and fanfares here)

The board says the decals are advertisements that violate HOA rules, and must be covered or removed.

Good luck wit that. I’ll even give you the razor blade to do it, just so long as you promise me front row, plenty of popcorn, and exclusive marketing rights to the ass kicking of Biblical proportion sure to follow immediately after you lay your grubby, maggot infested,  civilian hands on my emblem. Better yet, I’ll give you the razor blade, you use it to slit your limp lil’ wrist. Just remember, cut ACROSS the grain, not with.

Otherwise, the homeowners association for The Woodlands II on The Creek — where Larimore has lived for eight years — says in a letter it will tow the car at Larimore’s expense. The board also threatens to fine him $50 for any future incident.

Go ahead, I’m sure that their won’t be any problem covering those fines. After the lawyers fees incurred in suing your happy asses straight to bankruptcy, their will still be enough left over from the settlement to cover your funeral expenses too. If we were in a gracious enough mood not to just chunk your fetid ass to the pigs. Have to say though, condo commando’s ain’t what they used to be. It took 8 friggin’ years for them to notice the EG&A decals and become incensed? They need to take some lessons from Floriduhs geriatric gendarme wannabees. They’re over snooping up yer ass before the moving truck has even dropped it’s ramp. Ya need to bring yer A game here Texian’s.

Some neighbors are outraged.

“That is his identity,” said neighbor Mary Castagna. “He goes to a lot of the veteran meetings, and it means a lot to him. Everyone else agrees with it; it doesn’t bother anybody.”

It apparently bothers somebody Mary. Wonder who that person voted for in the last election? Just speculation mind you, but statist tyrants don’t fall far from the big ol’ tree with a D behind it’s name.

The letter from the board states you can’t have any form of advertisement anywhere on your car on your property. FOX 4 cameras spotted bumper stickers for political parties, health causes, and other non-commercial interests on the property as well.

Lets interpret what the letter writer actually meant shall we? You can’t have any bumper stickers that make us feel like the inadequate pieces of human detritus that we are.

One board member said he was unaware the HOA presidents sent the letter and did not know of any issue with Larimore’s vehicle.

“I will be looking into it,” said board member Art Bradford. “I didn’t know anything about this. I haven’t seen this.”

I can actually believe this guy, and I have a feeling that the next board meeting will be, shall we say “interesting”.

The board president was out of town and unavailable.

Probably attending a kumbaya circle jerk in a Berkley bath house.

The condo management company did not want to comment.

I’m sure they didn’t. I can see in my imagination some poor schlub sitting at a desk going “They did WHAT!” Have fun dealing with this one, I hope they pay you well.

63 comments

  1. 51

    My parents lived in a HOA run development for a while. They thought they knew what they were getting into when they bought the house. One of the bylaws was that the front of the houses had to have a uniform appearance…no problem…they thought.

    Their front door was half way up the side of the house and not visible from the street. There was no screen door originally and living close to the coast they wanted to be able to leave the door open to take advantage of the ocean breeze to cool the house, and couple of houses had been burglarized, so they installed a security screen door. Nice looking. After a couple of months they got a letter from the HOA stating that the screen door was out of compliance and had to be removed. You couldn’t see this door unless you walked up the pathway and turned a corner. The reasoning was that it was the “front door” so it was considered part of the front of the house.

    Idiots!!

    It took another two months to get the bylaws amended to allow security screen doors (only off an approved list of screen doors), all the while my parents were racking up daily penalties, eventually set aside, for not removing the door.

    The person who was trying to enforce this rule was the only one on the board that fought to keep her interpretation of compliance, the rest of the board and the homeowners all were for the change, including houses with front doors that actually faced the street.

  2. 52
    LC Getalis, Imperial Czar of Pharmacology says:

    If circumstances align themselves properly to warrant full or even partial execution of my dream home, ensuring that it isn’t subject to HOA fascism is a must. Does anyone know if it’s possible to retroactively incorporate a house into one of those things without consent of the owner, when that house was the first in the area? (I think a prior missive touched upon this somewhat.)

    My taste in archetecture is (apparently) rather unique. I’d prefer a purple house with black shutters over the status quo marathon of incestuous beige circlejerking. Interior rooms should mostly look something like this: http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/google-office9.jpg

    Seriously, what is the appeal of pastels?!? :em98:

  3. 53
    LC Spare Parts says:

    A colleague used to live in such a small satrapy in an unincorporated suburb. And a conniving older resident
    got herself elected to the gang of 3 trustees. That HOA dealt with only 3 issues; trash pick-up, street lighting, and street mainainence. Little tin goddess claimed that her seniority of residence, age, and wisdom made the others in the subdivision subject to her every whim. They began getting letters dropped into their mailboxes, each with a litany of ‘violations’ . And it was indeed a pleasure to assist the community in my official capacity of Letter Carrier by confiscating the unpaid post on behalf of the other homeowners, forwarding them under special cover to the Supt. of Collection and Delivery and subsequently delivering to her ‘Snootiness’ an official notice from the U.S.P.S. to cease and desist such communications violating the Private Express Statutes under Title XVIII of the U.S. Code for non-payment of postage.
    Ah the ’80’s: when common sense triumphed for once.

  4. 54
    L.C. Mope, Imperial Offsetter says:

    LC Spare Parts-

    And it was indeed a pleasure to assist the community in my official capacity of Letter Carrier by confiscating the unpaid post on behalf of the other homeowners, forwarding them under special cover to the Supt. of Collection and Delivery and subsequently delivering to her ‘Snootiness’ an official notice from the U.S.P.S. to cease and desist such communications violating the Private Express Statutes under Title XVIII of the U.S. Code for non-payment of postage.

    Heh. I walked into my local PO and asked to see the “Domestic Mail Manual“. The Guy pulls out this giant book and says: “I’ve been here thirty years and never opened this.”

    Heh.

  5. 55
    Cricket says:

    Strict rules notwithstanding, the complaint here is the anal interpretation of the said rule.

    HOAs? Try living in Government Quarters. Housing is downright liberal compared to the Neighborhood Nazis that seem to think they can use said housing office to get even with the residents. Fort Lewis. 1996-1997. I won the skirmishes, battles and the war. Game, set and match. I tend to leave other people alone. In fact, I prefer to do that unless someone gets in my face and starts being ignorant. If they are idiotic enough to try to hurt my kids, well, there is a reason for the hole in the space-time contiuum, or the spot on the floor.

    Ms. Hardy is a government tapeworm in training. My condolences to her family.

  6. 56
    LC Proud Infidel says:

    It sounds like “Spameeka Tyreesh” has picked the WORST kind of enemy she could, let some idiot asswipe hippie in my apartment complex complain about my “Afghanistan Campaign Veteran” or my Fallen Soldier Memorial stickers, and I’ll get even with them in a way that will leave them tossing and turning at night thinking “It can happen again……” “Darenda”, that name sounds like that of a couple of boys I went through Army boot camp with in my platoon, one was Thaiseke, the other, from East St. Louis, Franchot Toriann. Hell, you can just read the birth (or arrest) announcements in the newspaper and the names give them away! D’angelo, Damarius Dyron,……….

  7. 57
    NCLivingBrit says:

    LC Proud Infidel sez:

    It sounds like “Spameeka Tyreesh” has picked the WORST kind of enemy she could, let some idiot asswipe hippie in my apartment complex complain about my “Afghanistan Campaign Veteran” or my Fallen Soldier Memorial stickers, and I’ll get even with them in a way that will leave them tossing and turning at night thinking “It can happen again……” “Darenda”, that name sounds like that of a couple of boys I went through Army boot camp with in my platoon, one was Thaiseke, the other, from East St. Louis, Franchot Toriann. Hell, you can just read the birth (or arrest) announcements in the newspaper and the names give them away! D’angelo, Damarius Dyron,……….

    Hell, those names are a Godsend. It makes it a lot easier to pick the duds out of any resumes/applications that you didn’t meet the submitter in person for.

  8. 58
    LC Ranger 6, Imperial Wielder of The Rove says:

    Being on the board of those things takes up a lot of time; so the only the people who like the job or feel that they are “needed” there will apply for it. Most of the “members” don’t bother to vote in the HOA Board elections, so it’s easy to get a clique of your friends to vote you in.

    Okay, here’s the skinny on HOA’s in general. In most states these are set up by the original builder of the subdivision. It is recorded in the CC&Rs (Covenenants, Conditions & Restrictions) along with the original plat by the builder. The HOA is controlled solely by the builder until a percentage of the subdivision is sold. At that point the control of the HOA is turned over to the homeowners who have complete control.

    THEY CAN VOTE TO DISSOLVE THE HOA!!

    So, unless you live in an area with commons you can campaign and get your little click voted in and then dissolve the HOA permanently. If you move into a subdivision that does not have an HOA, in no circumstance that I have come across in 15 years in the business can you be forced to join.

    Condos, Co-Ops and any subdivision with “common” areas you have no choice. There must be an HOA or “Association” as there are common funds that must be dealt with to maintain the commons. BUT, you can still campaign and vote your buddies in and restrict the HOA or association from infringing on individual rights beyond reason.

    Personally, I want the compound that Reba and her hubby had in Tremors. Just let some HOA try and tell me in that situation what color my bunker has to be painted.

    :em96: :em96: :em96:

  9. 59
    Cricket says:

    Signing on dotted lines..please. First of what, what you are talking about is normal caution. We are talking about taking a rule to an extreme, and one that is not implied in the HOA rules just because the HOA says so. I have never lived in any HOA sudbivision or bought any property where the owner placed a covenant on it. We looked at some 20 acre lots for some horse property and to have some animals…a small farm, off the grid and the owner went ballistic. We didn’t buy it and last I checked, he hadn’t sold it.

  10. 60
    M167A1 says:

    The world is run by those who show up.

    Go ahead.. tow my car…. I double dog dare you…

  11. 61

    M167A1 sez:

    The world is run by those who show up.
    Go ahead.. tow my car…. I double dog dare you…

    A double-dog dare ain’t nuthin…now a TRIPLE-DOG dare…that’s another story…

  12. 62
    Cannon Fodder says:

    DJ:
    I seriously doubt it is as easy as foreclosing on someone’s home just because you want them out. I’m sure it would take some violations of HOA rules that can’t be resolved first. I am sure that they can force you out some way though. The rules of an HOA are subject to change at any time just like any law. The board members are the ones that decide what is appropriate and what is not.

    TerribleTroy:
    You seriously expect REASON from a group of busybodies that are typical socialists and think they know how you should live better than you? Come on, get serious! As I said in an earlier post. My brother knew a guy that was told by the HOA that his car, an anniversary edition Chevy Camaro in excellent condition, was an eye sore because they didn’t like the color of the car (purple). He was told that he had to either keep it in his garage with the door closed or get rid of it or they would have it removed. Do you consider that REASON?

    How would you like to be told that only you and your immediate family, ie. those living in your home, were allowed to have cars at your house. If you had guests you would have to meet them at the entrance and drive them to your house in your car.How about being told that you could only push mow your yard and that you had to cut the grass in your yard a specific way?

    There is NOTHING reasonable about having to ask permission to do anything, well at least anything visible from outside. I mean, seriously, you can’t put up a swing set for your kids, put in a swimming pool, build a deck, cut down a tree or even redo your landscaping without their approval. Then they can change their minds later and tell you no after you have already done the work they approved.

    Not REASONABLE at all. Nor it within reason.

  13. 63
    Wreckerboy says:

    Princess Natasha, Decadent Delicious Deviant sez:
    You can help me “pimp out” my Jeep, then! (Yes, I finally broke down and bought a new vehicle. No H2, and maybe that’s for the best, but it it still a fun one).

    Ok, no problem, I just need some info on it, 1. Size of engine, 2. Type of axles, differental, transfer case, 3. Tire size. And does it have any aftermarket add’s ? Such as a lift kit or things like that.
    To start get a K&N air filter or a snorkel. Both add HP & better mileage. Then get rid of the stock muffler, exhaust setup, same as above. Next, silly as it seems, a basic tune up. Plugs, wires, and all might not look bad but can rob you of HP. Check the Summit Racing or any like that on the Jeep section.
    Rubber on the road. All of these things have a so-called M+S tire on them. But try to use them in mud or snow. Best tires are TSL Super Swampers, BFG Krawlers, Nitto MT’s, Goodyear Wranglers MT. Yer local tire place “SHOULD” be able to match the stock size to them.
    All else failing we can go the SB/BB engine up grade, DANA 44 axles, 40in + tires, turbo, supercharged, NOS, add’s.
    And last but NOT least, a winch, with a kit, tree strap and so on. Add at least 1000lbs over your gross weight (not yours, the Jeeps, cause you sure as hell is no lard ass). And a Hi-Jack, Summit carries them, and an axe, shovel, fire ex., hand saw….. As most of the off-road areas, Fed ones such as Turkey Bay in LBL, my off-road area, is law.
    Honestly Natasha, I’d rather do want you want with my own hands. That way I know that a fellow Rottie is safe when she want’s to go play.

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