All’s Well…

Although one might be tempted to think that it wasn’t, considering my long absences. But I wanted to update you before you get tired of waiting for yours truly to show signs of life again. Which you may already be, but I digress…

The surgery went exceedingly well, with no complications whatsoever. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and, of course, to the kind souls who hit the tip jar to help with expenses. We are so very, very blessed. Blessed to the point of embarrassment considering the horrible trials that my dear friend Caveman and his wife are facing right now. They are, and have been, on my prayer list, but the prayers will be intensified very much. Please join me in this. Better friend no man ever had.

The other reason for my absence from the keyboard has been a much welcome overseas visit, so I’ve been kind of busy showing my kin the wonders of the beautiful state of Texas (not to mention the many and varied beverages for which we are justly famous). Also, I’m once again indebted to my buddies Cheapshot and Crunchie for getting me hooked up with the Interceptor. That poor cruiser has gotten more miles under her chassis in the last week than she ever got while in the service, and she hasn’t complained once. Not to mention the shock and awe when the Imperial Mother and Aunt first saw her and uttered things like “is that YOURS?” and “man, is it HUGE!”, as well as the inevitable “and [insert amazed expletive here] FAST too!”

If only I could get over the strange compulsion to palm their heads and say “watch yer head now” whenever I open the door to let them in.

As to work… Well, no news there still which is, quite frankly, getting to be a bit old. We’re getting awful close to the deadline here and it would be nice to know if one was a working stiff or an unemployed git facing foreclosure when it hits. Sure, no news means that I haven’t gotten the BAD news that I dread… yet… but still.

Me and about 5 million other Americans, thanks to the blessings of the Obamessiah Age of Plenty.

It almost makes me want to break every single one of the Ten Commandments just to be sure that I go to Hell where I can laugh at the torments THAT fucking communist shitheel will be facing.

“Yay, though I crawl through the Valley of Continuous Ass-Rapings by Disgustingly Well-Endowed Demons I shall not give a shit, for the Obamessiah will be getting it a hundred times worse.”

Once again, thanks to you all for being such good, steadfast and loyal friends. I can never thank you enough, but I won’t ever stop trying and I WILL be back to my usual form, which I don’t know if it’s a promise or a threat.

For now, though, please concentrate your prayers on Caveman and his wife.



  1. 1
    LC PrimEviL says:

    Well, at least you’re not in jail, or on the lamb. Which can be a concern to (and about) any of us.
    Glad to hear the Imperial Mother was impressed by her introduction to a real car.
    Just don’t let her borrow it, she’ll never give it back!

    Oh, and foist ever!

  2. 2

    Good to hear all went well! You and yours were most assuredly in my prayers, as are Cave and the Mrs now. Rottfest in 2 weeks! Oorah! We can all join in prayer to whatever God we believe in for healing, and then party our asses off.
    And then establish practical plans for whatever comes next. *AHEM*

  3. 3
    lc purple raider says:

    “Yay, though I crawl through the Valley of Continuous Ass-Rapings by Disgustingly Well-Endowed Demons I shall not give a shit, for the Obamessiah will be getting it a hundred times worse.”

    That is ALMOST worth doing evil things, just to see Teh One.

    But with my luck I’ll be in shit up to my neck for a coffee break.

  4. 4
    LC Xystus says:

    It almost makes me want to break every single one of the Ten Commandments just to be sure that I go to Hell where I can laugh at the torments THAT fucking communist shitheel will be facing.

    As Marcie kept saying to Peppermint Patty: “You’re weird, sir.”

  5. 5
    Darth Bacon says:


    First of all, you had surgery? Why was I not alerted to this?

    Second, is that the same Interceptor I drove to pick up EFA? Cause that old rig still hauls ass.


    “is that YOURS?” and “man, is it HUGE!”,

    I know that’s the only time you’ve heard those phrases together, directed at you.

    :em99: :em99: :em99:

    I keed. I keed, because I love. I’m glad the Queen Mum and her Imperial Sister are enjoying themselves, and being carted around in one of Detroit’s finest (and possibly final) frame-over, rear-drive chariots.

  6. 6
    Princess Natasha, Decadent Delicious Deviant says:

    It almost makes me want to break every single one of the Ten Commandments just to be sure that I go to Hell where I can laugh at the torments THAT fucking communist shitheel will be facing.

    No worries, Your Imperial Majesty, I already got that covered. I will send detailed reports to you “Upstairs”, so no need for you to trouble yourself. Besides, Satan already offered me a management spot. :em93:

  7. 7

    PrimEvil said:

    “Well, at least you’re not in jail, or on the lamb.”

    That, my friend, will land your ass directly IN jail. (Except in several Great Plains states. There, it’s considered “animal husbandry”.)
    :em01: :em99: :em01: :em99:

    Imperator, glad you’re all patched up and the the Queen Mum & Aunt had a lovely visit.

  8. 8
    LC FreedomFighter says:

    Well like you said alls well that ends well and all. Glad to hear that everything went as it should. Lets hope that everything goes well for Caveman aswell.

  9. 9
    LC hilljohnny says:

    i’m confused, i thought it was the Emperess that was in the body shop?!?
    anyway good news is the best news.
    LC PrimEviL sez:

    on the lamb

    again with the innuendo, last time was pastries now underage farm animals.

  10. 10
    Prophet says:

    It’s good to hear that prayers have been answered and that the Queen Mum and kin had a good time down in yonder Texas, m’liege.

  11. 11
    Lady H says:

    I need to catch up with you, Sire.

  12. 12

    LC hilljohnny sez:

    i’m confused, i thought it was the Emperess that was in the body shop?!?

    Actually, you’d be one of the ones not confused, because you’ve got it absolutely right. Nobody’s been cutting on lil’ ol’ me, most surgeons are too terrified of what they might find in there, or that I’d interpret the procedure as an attempted assault with a lethal weapon 😉

  13. 13
    LC HJ Caveman82952 says:

    Thank You, Misha….I received your letter. I was praying for the Empress too, and her husband and Offspring. Something happened to me today, I sent a note out, now to share with the rest of you, to define ones character…...
    I’m glad your family is well, Misha, it delights my soul……never cease to be grateful for it.
    To my friends,

    Oddly enough, I have just returned from a funeral Mass said for a friends father.

    I feel tired now…and will rest. I need it, and to eat right. Considering my present circumstances I wondered how I would feel…and should I attend…but within me my friends eyes spoke volumes.

    And I was there for him, quietly, one among many…his father to be laid to divine rest. A Catholic Mass a quite solemn affair, often the sniffles heard, the occasional wiping of eyes, mine included.

    For when my friends hurt, I hurt, the greatest of all human bonds, manifested in an assembly of respect and celebration of the life of one human being having touched the lives of so many others.

    But before then….the strength derived from the needs of others, those you call friend.

    For when a friend is grievously injured, be it from loss or bereavement, you find their friends instinctively closing ranks around them, protecting them, running interference for them, dealing with the small problems we all call life.

    And to know…to simply know…..that by their quiet presence you are not alone, and never will be alone……..a humility, far as the line says, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

    For prayer knows no bounds, no corporeal limits, for it is spiritual in nature, bonding the human spirit to the heart of God.

    When I arrived…to gently place my hand on a shoulder….”I’m sorry…” Then to genuflect, walk forward to the casket, look down, a quiet prayer, noting the embroidered Going Home stitched on the inside of the lid.

    “Yes Sir, you are indeed… in peace.” The sign of the cross, to take my seat.

    To see his family gather one last time…….facing the final barrier, the lid gently closed, Old Glory raised from her folds at the bottom, gently laying atop this old warrior.

    Somehow it strengthened me……….and I hope it did the bereaved, and their friends. And you know what….I would swear the skylight behind the altar brightened at the conclusion of the ceremony……..

    My wife shall be starting chemo today, she was in good spirits this morning, she will attend a concert of classical music later today in the hospital. They provide so much for patients to do…the beautiful, tranquil gardens, the quiet, the company of others afflicted. The Offspring and I will see her tomorrow, bring with us requested items, her cell phone and charger, books, slippers and hard candy.

    And ourselves………

  14. 14
  15. 15
    LC HJ Caveman82952 says:

    No such thing as too many prayers, that’s for sure. I’m glad your family is well. Speaking of Moms though….one officer on television was asked what the first thing was he would do if required to arrest his mother.
    His answer…
    Call for backup.

  16. 16
    mindy1 says:

    Feel better

  17. 17

    Besides, Satan already offered me a management spot. :em93:

    Hmm, I thought (according to The Prophet Sam Kinison) that you had to be married a couple of times to qualify for management…

    Thoughts and prayers to you and yours Caveman. My own better half has been doing the chemo thing for a year and a half now, she was diagnosed with lung cancer in December 07. It just ain’t fair, dammit, she followed me around for 11 years of a 20 year Navy career with all the separation that comes with it, and just when we were at the point we would be able to spend a little time together we find out we may not have as long as we had planned.

    It does teach you to cherish every moment, something that even though you think you are doing, you probably aren’t.

    And lest I forget, Snoopy Dance being performed for the good news regarding the Imperial Family, and one in reserve for when you find out that your employment status is positive.

  18. 18

    So glad to know you’re still squeezin’ some flavor out of it. :em69: :em93: :em69:

  19. 19

    Glad to know the Empress is doing fine Sire. We’ve said our prayers for her and have been thinking of all of you. You can still call us if you need us ya know? Give the Queen Mother and Imperial Aunt our best wishes. Would have loved the chance to meet them this trip. Next time you best bring them over to this side of the Trinity River for a real taste of Texas….not that watered down Dallas shit. :em01:

  20. 20
    kwongdzu says:

    Glad to hear it went well 🙂

    Good things are supposed to come in 3’s, so maybe Caveman’s wife and Brendan’s wife will follow suit!

    (Anybody heard anything from Brendan?)

  21. 21
    kwongdzu says:

    Hey! I just checked over at his blog and he’s back 🙂 !

  22. 22
    L.C. Mope, Imperial Offsetter says:

    Gotcha covered, Cave-Meister. I hope and pray everything works out well.

    I just have one question. Who is this Misha fella y’all been talking about?

  23. 23
    Radical Redneck says:

    LC Darth Scoundrel @:

    Hmm, I thought (according to The Prophet Sam Kinison) that you had to be married a couple of times to qualify for management…

    Prophet yes. Philosopher and historian as well. :em93:

    Excellent news re: Sophie! :em69: :em04:

  24. 24


    I know you’re feeling the crush right now, as you gaze at the suck that threatens us all.

    Hold Fast. Our time will come.

  25. 25
    hephaestus says:

    LC HJ Caveman82952 @: Cave, you are on the right track and the hospital provides these things because studies show that patients do remarkably better when they are surrounded by things that bring them close to nature. Above all, healing with cancer requires an extemely positive attitude and a faith in your higher power. Do what ever you can to keep your wife’s spirits up. She will really need that extra boost of “giddee-up” when things start to head to the crapper. And they will head to the crapper as the chemo cycles. Pull her through it with your own strength and faith.

  26. 26
    LC HJ Caveman82952 says:

    She is emphatic and amazed, hephaestus……, she can really feel the power of prayer. Every church group of I know of here in Dog Patch is lighting candles and praying, hundreds if not thousands of people…..and all of you…she is tickled with the beanies heading her way……yet I watch that poison drip. But to say her attitude is poisitive, and she feels safe at that facility. It is truly a remarkable place. And I want her to feel good, regardless of how this plays out. Now I’m in the wings, I may be filing suit against her employer, I am going to pick up a certified letter from them at the post office Monday. They have jacked her bad before, they do it now, I’m unleashing the dogs of war……! I’m in no mood for bullshit. In the meantime to see about filing for her SS disability for a year. I have a social workers phone number and will contact her. Last night I printed out the information to cash out her 40!K, what’s left of it. I told her our income will get hammered to the tune of say about forty per cent this year, the rest i kept to myself. But it keeps me busy, and to just keep moving forward….most of all, to be strong for her, to carry her, to protect her…..loving her is the easy part. Times are starting to get dicey, the uncertainty telling….yet she and I both are humbled, how do we deserve such considerations sort of thing? Yet we accept them……..I’m used to being on the other end of these scenarios………and now I’m very glad i did what I did then, and always will. I’m gonna’ be cleaning graffiti tags until judgment day……..I will call her today from work, see how shes feeling, day two of chemo almost done. Thanks to all of you………..time to work now……. :em69: :em04: Caveman

  27. 27

    And you can keep your mind on bizzness too?


  28. 28
    LC HJ Caveman82952 says:

    I have to Cheapshot, it’s part and parcel of protecting her….especially from stress. Writing for me remains a cartharsis of the soul., as in the following written when she was on life support twenty years ago…
    I even won an award for it and got it published….So now to share it with the Rotties…for I wrote a letter to God….
    To my wife Mary Elizabeth…….
    Pretty Flower

    Dear Lord;
    You have always had a garden,
    Full of pretty flowers;
    The time I’ve spent observing,
    Idling though the hours;
    To look, to search, to wait in vain,
    To wonder if it’s true;
    In all that lovely garden,
    Is there one for you?
    To see your pretty flower,
    Standing in the rain;
    Buckled down before the wind,
    Can she stand the strain?
    Wilted, wet, yet tough and true,
    Her petals wet and dragging;
    She hopes to one day rise again,
    To life without a lagging;
    I know you love this flower,
    Of that I have no doubt;
    The greatest single fear I have,
    Is that her strength give out;
    You see your pretty flowers,
    You tend them all so fair,
    But there is one I must confess,
    For which I so do care;
    If you could use a little help,
    To see her blossom true,
    Her petals full of love and thanks,
    Reaching up to you;
    You love your pretty flowers,
    Basking in the sun;
    I beg, I plead, I ask of you,
    Could I have just one?


  29. 29
    hephaestus says:

    LC HJ Caveman82952 @: That was truly beautiful, Cave. For someone who proports to being rough as an old boot, you have a very tender and expressive soul. I weep! I have been keeping a journal of “lessons learned” about dealing with cancer. I want to be able to recall the moments, good and lousy alike, or to be able to leave some very personal thoughts for those who will be left to read them when I’m gone. I can not express more emphatically how important a positive attitude and strong faith in your higher power is in my recovery. Most of this fight revolves around “wanting it” and fighting every odd to acheive the healing. God wraps his healing hands around those that are pulling hard on their trace-lines. Keep that spirit alive in Mary at all cost. It is her lifeline for now. I wish I had a few bucks to kick your way, but we are watcheing the bills come in with “fear and trepidation” ourselves. My chemo is going for $3200.00 a pop and thats without the chemo/radiation to follow. But I’ll give you what I can and continue my prayers for Mary. All things work together for good. There is a pony in there somewhere! Hep

  30. 30
    Wreckerboy says:

    Caveman, about ten years or so ago, I held my sisters hand as the doc told her that she had cancer. Some type of shit that she could no longer have kids. At the young age of 21, she was told the next one will kill you, if it doesn’t you will be dead before you are 30. well she is now 33 and free of cancer. The “doctor” proclaimed this in a very loud voice, me thinks he thought he was God, with an open door to the rest of the OB/GYN unit, said doc learned about closed doors and public decrees real quick. Anyhow, you and Mary are on my list, and on the list of my Moms church. Funny how we pray for those we don’t know, yet we are all the same.
    Lemme guess, the Interceptor is a Crown Vic ?? Iffin you want or need more out of it just look at the Mustang mods for the year you have. They fit, well 90% of them do, the cold air intakes don’t, but K&N makes a filter that fits.
    And Caveman, as to those who can give money, it’s not a handout, it’s a hand up. We help those that we care about. I help my mom get the drugs she needs, yet she earns more than me now, but I can’t afford the drugs I need, due to my Fibromyal how ever the hell it’s spelled. Yes, I live everyday in pain, but like I told the doc when I was in a car wreck, as he looked at the X-rays wondering, I had a shattered ankle, 2 pins, 2 screws, and a plate fixed it, how the hell I was still walking with a knee that needed to be replaced and the other one fixed. I told him Doc I put one foot in front of the other, and I just keep going.
    But, Caveman, you gotta rest to, don’t run yourself down to try to put on a good face. As the Hulk sed, Eat right, Train, and take your vitamans. Brother. Much Love, Honor, and Respect to you and yours. LOBO

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