Meanwhile Back On The PETA-tard Ranch..

Yes my friends, they’re BAAAAAAAACCCCKKK……those lovable, cuddly, unbathed PETA-tards are here once again to make our summer more entertaining.  Those brain dead comedians of the Liberal Looney Bin who brought us Sea Kittens and George Clooney flavored Tofu, have been working overtime to get in the news once again.

What’s the gag this time you ask?

Boycotting Canadian Maple Syrup.

Yeah, I was kinda wondering what animal was used in the making of Maple Syrup myself.  It seems that it actually has nothing at all to do with any thing really.

Members of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are launching an international boycott of Canadian maple syrup at the Vermont Statehouse at noon today in an effort to stop the slaughter of baby seals in Canada.

Mmmm…Oven Roasted Baby Seal with Maple Syrup Glaze……

Oh…guess that’s not what they meant…*snicker*

For today’s demonstration, a PETA member will whack a six-foot bottle of maple syrup with a hakapik, which is the weapon used to kill baby seals. The intention is to puncture the bottle and release the blood-red contents inside. On the bottle will be a label featuring a maple leaf dripping blood next to the tagline, “Stop the Seal Slaughter.”

And who pray tell is going to clean up the freaking mess?  Beuller? Beuller?
Just like a bunch of Liberal Hippies.  Go around screaming about baby animals and saving the earth and all they can do is throw shit all over the place for someone else to clean up.

While there is no correlation between the death of the seals and Canada’s maple syrup industry,

No shit Sherlock….

Beal explained the boycott is an effort to bring awareness to the issue.

Maple Syrup…..Baby Seals…..Maple….Seal…..yeah that’s going to make you aware of the issue alright.

product boycotts have been a PETA method throughout its 28 years of existence.

And they haven’t done one damn bit of good for ya have they?  Except provide the rest of us with hours of hilarious entertainment wondering what those idiots are going to come up with next.

“You have to boycott all fur, because the demand on it is what allows this to happen,” said Beal about why baby seals are targeted.

Hey, wait a minute…I thought we were boycotting Maple Syrup….
Damn I wish these morons would make up their minds.

A call to the Ontario Maple Syrup Producers Association was not immediately returned for a comment.

Maybe because they are too busy laughing their asses off??

I don’t know about the rest of you, but some Buttermilk Pancakes with Maple Syrup and some Baby Seal Sausage sounds pretty damn good right now.

54 comments

  1. 1
    dasbow says:

    “product boycotts have been a PETA method throughout its 28 years of existence.”

    I notice the word “effective” doesn’t make an appearance here.

    Baby seals, eh? Batter up!!!

  2. 2
    KArnold says:

    It’s all a part of my brilliant plan, Mrs. M-ITT. I sent PETA a link to a YouTube video of that “Blame Canada” ditty from the South Park movie, and a reminder that in Canada, ’tis the season to tap the maple trees. They’re like a toy: wind ’em up and watch ’em go. That should keep them occupied and irrelevant for nearly three weeks.

    That being said, I’m going to need something shiny to hold their attention somewhere around mid-June. Maybe I’ll start a rumor that the Canadian Air Force will be running tests on aerosol bombardment up in caribou country. Think it’ll work?

  3. 3
    dasbow says:

    KArnold, just tell them that Canada is going to come to an agreement on a new pipeline with – gasp- Sarah Palin!!! That oughta put some spin in those pointy little heads.

  4. 4
    Princess Natasha, Decadent Delicious Deviant says:

    These motherfuckers need to get a life and a job. Fucking retards…

    I wonder how much it would cost to make seat covers for my H2 out of baby-seal pelts…
    Muahahahahaha!

  5. 5
    KArnold says:

    Natasha, I like where you’re going with this. Put me down for a full set for both of my Mustangs, a king-size comforter for the bed, a couple of area rugs, and I think the couch needs re-upholstering as well. I’ll go get my checkbook.

  6. 6

    IMHO,, Considering the usual backlash to stoooopid lib ideas,the syrup folks might better get ready for a rush of business!
    ‘Best advertising they never had to pay for. :em01:
    ‘Reckon I’ll have to have a look into some of them Leafy Labels.

    ‘Might even have to try it in a coming brew recipe.
    OOoooohh,, hot thot there.

    ‘Still getting our cheese with Danmark labels.
    ‘Wouldn’t have found soo many tasty thangs without that bombhead mo’hammed picture fracas.
    ‘Worked for me.

  7. 7
    LC Rurik says:

    I know! I’ve got an idea! I’ve got a really helpful creative and heroic idea! :em02:
    What PETA needs to do is confornt the real threat, the threat that kills more seals each year than hunters – the POLAR BEARS. They’re the predators who really prey on seals when they’re not drowning on melting ice floes. Those PETArds need to go and position themselves as human shields between the predatory polar bears and the innocent seals. Oh wait. Poar bears are also sainted earth critters. :em41: And they’re also dangerous with sharp claws and pointy teeth. They might content theirselves with eating some of the PETA shields instead of the seals.:em95:
    Oh dear. Ohdearohdearohdear. This trying to protect nature from nature business is sooo complicated. :em01:

    Maybe we could ask Darth Bacon to provide us a recipe for gourmet seal fritters in maple sauce.

  8. 8
    LC Rurik says:

    Y’know, if the good socialist folk of the Vermont Peoples Collective are bothered by the annual influx of PETA protesters, perhaps they should try clubbing and harvesting some of them for their hairy pelts. Maybe it would take some cleaning effort, but imagine how stylish a Hollywood starlet throw rug would be for the den. Or maybe revive the old tradition of a beaver hat – with a new twist. If Rad or BC follow this post, you should be forewarned.

  9. 9
    hephaestus says:

    Mrs. M. It appears that you are confusing PETApimples with rational people. Making up ones mind infers that there are at least two opitions to choose between. The vast majority of our experiences with smelly hippies and their traveling enviro whiners proves beyond rebutal, that characters like this who celebrate their inhabitation of the bottom percentile of the Bell curve grsph of native intelligence would indicate that they are incapable of holding two diameterically opposed positions. It would be a stronger argument that they have a difficult time holding onto one position unless it has an ergometric handle attached.

  10. 10
    anonymous hourly worker says:

    This article about PETA gives me pause.

    I do believe I will spend the rest of the afternoon at my desk dreaming up an erotic fantasy featuring fur and maple syrup.

  11. 11

    Would that be the mild or the Cajun Baby Seal sausage? :em93:

  12. 12

    LC Rurik sez:

    If Rad or BC follow this post, you should be forewarned.

    PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

  13. 13
    vorkosigan says:

    For a humorous response to the PETA insanity, you can’t do better than this It’s by the Arrogant Worms, a Canadian band,BTW Save the Vegetables!! Eat a baby seal instead…

  14. 14
    KArnold says:

    Baby seals are like clams. It’s the tender young ones that are the best. We should all trade recipes.

    Baby seal-wurst on a steak roll with some kraut and pickles, and washed down with a cold Sam Adams. Sometimes, it’s the simple things in life that are most satisfying…

  15. 15

    KArnold sez:

    Baby seals are like clams. It’s the tender young ones that are the best. We should all trade recipes.

    we trap ’em and cut ’em up and use them for jig bait when we salmon fish. If we don’t thin them out, they grow up to be predatory adults….following our salmon boat around all day and eating the fish off of our line before we can reel them in……..the damned finned bastages :em96:

  16. 16
    mindy1 says:

    While I don’t like seal clubbing myself, I do love maple syrup, it is too good to resist. Mix with plain yellow mustard for a good dip with chicken fingers( or seal sausage for you sickos :em02: )

  17. 17
    LC Gunsniper says:

    Personally, I like clubbing seals with a large bottle of maple syrup.

  18. 18
    LC HJ Caveman82952 says:

    the POLAR BEARS.

    Well Rurik, I think you’re on to something. But polar bears got huge fangs and could take your head off…and I wonder how many baby seals they kill and eat? Not that I have ever asked one, mind you….besides, I always associated maple syrup with Vermont. Just the name I s’pose.

  19. 19
    NevadaDailySteve, Imperial Scrivener says:

    Sounds like I need to buy me some Canadian maple syrup. Or that might just be what those smelly, vegan twerps have in mind, we buy Canadian and put the Vermont guys out of business. Nah, they’re not that smart, Canadian syrup it is.

  20. 20

    Quoth’d DJ:

    I am NOT a fan of PETA. They might have started out originally with good intentions, but lost their collective minds somewhere along the way.

    There goes that damned sound of thundering hooves coming over the eastern horizon again…
    :em04:
    Rurik typeth’d:

    If Rad or BC follow this post, you should be forewarned.

    Since it’s apparent that I’ll be chained down inside the Imperial Dungeon Game Room™ for a while, I’ll be gettin’ right on that tonight, just as soon as the Princess goes to sleep.
    :em93:

  21. 21

    Here’s a hint of things to come with at least one of the ShopJobs o’ Doom™ that I’ll be working on…

    “Hi, I’m B.C. I’m not only the president of the Seal Club For Men®, but I’m also a customer. I don’t go anywhere without my Seal Club For Men®. Its versatility and utility is un-surpassed by any of the so-called “modern” tools that you find at such places as Home Despot, Blowe’s, Sham’s Club, etc. Hell, with this baby, not only can you put clothes on your bitch’s back and food on her plate, you can put her in her place— unconscious in your bed. All with one tool!

    The Seal Club For Men®. It beats the shit out of the competition. (And your dinner!)”

  22. 22
    LC Fmwoods01 says:

    B.C., Imperial Torturer™ @:21

    Maybe you can put something together to help AHW at comment 11? 😈

    D’

  23. 23
    Eyas says:

    I’m not in favor of allowing minors into clubs at all. Regardless of whether they’re the children of our fine Spec. Ops. servicemen. I mean, aren’t there bouncers at these clubs?

  24. 24
    LC FreedomFighter says:

    :em98: :em41: :em95: :em01:

  25. 25
    LC Proud Infidel says:

    OK, MY TURN: … A baby seal walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, “What’ll ya have?”, and the baby seal says. “ANYTHING BUT a Canadian Club on the rocks!!!”. :em01: :em99:

    Q: What’s the difference between a baby seal and a fur coat?
    A: A GREAT UPPER BODY WORKOUT!!! *WAP*WAP*WAP*… :em99: :em01:

  26. 26
    expatchris says:

    Bad news guys, it is a bad year for maple syrup yeilds, the cold stayed too long and stopped to quick and the sap was light so not much to send south any how. I like the polar bear idea, a bit cruel getting them to eat that shit though!

  27. 27
    Prophet says:

    Y’know, this got me thinking…

    Being that seals live in the sea, yet are a mammal like cattle, with what beer or wine do you serve them with? Red or white? Dark beer or light beer?

  28. 28
    Prophet says:

    Princess Natasha, Decadent Delicious Deviant @:

    Depends, Nat. Do you want spotted pelts, brown pelts, or a nice, natural, gunmetal-gray fur for your Earth-hating H2?

    :em93:

  29. 29

    anonymous hourly worker @:

    Perhaps you could add this to your prohibited work fantasy 🙂

    Oh yes, I will burn in Hell for this one .. pardon me while I duck .. :em99:

  30. 30
    seagoon says:

    As a maple syrup addicted Maritimer, a few comments:

    1. Seals are generally sea rats. Small ones are cute, cuddly and make warm clothes. Adults are blubbery fish-pillaging behemoths with too few natural predators these days. However, the adults make lovely leather goods. The cull is on adults, anyway, because the bastards already killed the market for seal fur, and the big bastards eat too much fish. Peta doesn’t recognize the perils of overpopulation, of course.

    2. Canadian maple syrup is generally better- the best stuff rarely makes it out of the country because our demand is so high. The best is from Quebec and the Maritimes- I get mine shipped to me from a small farm in St. Hyppolyte.

    3. The reporter contacted the Ontario maple syrup people because they mostly produce export grade crap. Even if the protest hurts Ontario, nobody else in Canada will care.

    4. I’d just love to see them try that shit in Newfoundland. It’s a hard life in a hard place with few witnesses.

    Finally, a joke from the Monty Python Papperbok

    Turn one word into another

    S E A L
    _ _ _ _
    _ _ _ _
    _ _ _ _
    C O A T

    The answer being, of course:

    S E A L
    C L U B
    C L U B
    C L U B
    C O A T

    I apologize for the rant, but this sort of ecological-reality defying publicity whoring has gone on too far. I understand and support the drive to promote ethical USE of animals, and I believe that abuse should be prosecuted- but PETArds, along with Vegans, are just dense.

    Canine teeth are for ripping meat. Did you read what our Governor General had to say about it?

  31. 31
    seagoon says:

    Prophet @:

    Adult seal meat is very dark and oily, unless you like chewing raw blubber of course. Tenderize it well, marinade thoroughly, and I’d recommend a heavy Merlot to accompany.

    It builds strong jaws.

  32. 32
    LC SmokeyBehr says:

    seagoon sez:

    Canine teeth are for ripping meat. Did you read what our Governor General had to say about it?

    Yes, yes, I did. Very much so.

  33. 33
    LC FreedomFighter says:

    Ok Follow me on this thought real quick…

    PETA doesn’t like us using animals for things like oh lets say food, clothing, leather anything, bla bla, right?

    Now Environuts dont like us using synthetic products and instead want us to use more natural things like our forebares did, I.E. bear skin blankets and stomach water bags.

    If we cant use natural products, and we cant use synthetic products, whats left?

    I think there trying to force us into a canibalistic nudist society. I’m cool with that if I get to choose who I eat and where I live, I want California and I’m a Libralvore.

  34. 34
    Lc ORWN says:

    We really need to stop clubbing baby seals.

    They dance too close, their breath smells like fish and they never buy a round.

  35. 35
    americanexpat says:

    Freedom Fighter #34:

    I think there trying to force us into a canibalistic nudist society. I’m cool with that if I get to choose who I eat and where I live, I want California and I’m a Libralvore.

    You sure about that? Far be it from me to tell someone else what they should eat, but have you seen some of those PETA supporters? Not only do they look like the loser in a hatchet fight, you can smell ’em before you can see ’em. Make a buzzard puke.

  36. 36

    But baby fur seals grow up and become adult fur seals.

    And then they kill and eat Sea Kittens.

    Kill a fur seal.

    It’s for the Sea Kittens!

  37. 37
    Princess Natasha, Decadent Delicious Deviant says:

    Prophet sez:

    Y’know, this got me thinking…
    Being that seals live in the sea, yet are a mammal like cattle, with what beer or wine do you serve them with? Red or white? Dark beer or light beer?

    *sigh*
    /puts on a bathrobe, wraps a checkered kitchen towel around head, grabs a scimitar and the Holy Book O’Beer/
    Repeat after me, infidel: There is no beer but dark beer! There is no beer but dark beer! There is no beer but dark beer! ULULULULULULULU!! Guinness AKBAR!!!

    (Light beer is like sex in a canoe, both are fucking damn near water)

    As to the pelts, I have time to decide, and it will depend on the color of the H2s exterior. I am looking at three now, a metallic orange one, a black one and a red one. I am kind of dragging out the time a bit, to make the sellers come down even more on the prices… I think the natural would look kick-ass in the orange or the red, while spotted would offset the black perfectly.

  38. 38
    L.C. Mope, Imperial Offsetter says:

    Repeat after me, infidel: There is no beer but dark beer! There is no beer but dark beer! There is no beer but dark beer! ULULULULULULULU!! Guinness AKBAR!!!

    That qualifies you for the first annual “A Woman of Beer” Award!

    Ladies and gentlemen, I present our first AWOB!!! (Say it aloud.)

  39. 39
    LC FreedomFighter says:

    americanexpat says:

    You sure about that? Far be it from me to tell someone else what they should eat, but have you seen some of those PETA supporters? Not only do they look like the loser in a hatchet fight, you can smell ‘em before you can see ‘em. Make a buzzard puke.

    Well i said i was pickey, i didn’t say i had a sence of taste.

  40. 40
    wyseguy says:

    What else is left for Northern Canadians to do this time of year? All the Canadian teams are out of the NHL playoffs and there is only so much Molson you can drink. When faced with the prospect of having to spend the summer watching curling, I’d start clubbing baby seals too, just so I don’t start hitting myself in the head with a large stick. :em41:

    This isn’t a move against killing baby seals, this is a move to ban entertainment and a necessary survival mechanism for the people of northern Canada. To protest their boycott, I’m boycotting…(thinks for a moment about PETA-approved businesses and comes up with nothing of consequence)…France!

  41. 41
    LC PrimEviL says:

    Dammit. Came in late, again, and all the good ideas are already used. Guess I’ll have to start getting up surlier, er, I mean earlier. Which amounts to the same thing. Without my beauty-rest, I’m just uking fugly in the whorening, I mean gorening, er, I mean borening. Awww, dammit I didn’t want to be in the fuckin’ Play ennyhow.

    Personally, I can’t see the point of clubbing baby seals, what’s wrong with harpooning them?.. . .. .
    With a harpoon gun. . . . . With a power–head.

    Some days I just feel like buying a Peterbuildt tractor, then put fuel injectors and igniters into the exhaust stacks, and drive it to the Arctic Circle in second gear, blowing fire the whole way. :em95:

  42. 42
    LC TerribleTroy, Imperial Centurion says:

    LC PrimEviL @:

    Ugly in the morning?? And how is this different than any other time off day? :em95:

  43. 43
    LC PrimEviL says:

    LC TerribleTroy, Imperial Centurion sez:

    LC PrimEviL @:
    Ugly in the morning?? And how is this different than any other time off day?

    I’m much nicer once I have brushed my fang tooth, and combed my muzzel face.
    :em93:

  44. 44

    Too many good quotes! :em98: Aargh, can’t, pick.

  45. 45
    LC hilljohnny says:

    speaking of tree humpers, THIS green cruise ended well. they had to be rescued by an oil tanker. :em01:

  46. 46
    LC HJ Caveman82952 says:

    They should have let them swim back, or perhaps hitch a ride with a polar bear……and that link went out to all my friends, most of them laughing sadistically.

  47. 47
    Princess Natasha, Decadent Delicious Deviant says:

    wyseguy sez:

    What else is left for Northern Canadians to do this time of year?

    if any of them are hockey players they can come hang out with me. I luvz hockey players. Not as much as fighter jocks or Special Forces, but I still luvz them! :em03: :em99:

  48. 48
    expatchris says:

    As north america does not have the dumb british anti hunt laws maybe we should inport a hunt pack and make a sport of it, find a wild place, release a few petards and then let the dogs out, OK it would be a bit cruel to force the dogs to bite these vermin but if we coated the pETErds with some maple syrup it should mask the bad taste, then we could get the heads stuffed and mounted and hung on the front of our trucks, perfect!!

  49. 49
    Princess Natasha, Decadent Delicious Deviant says:

    expatchris sez:

    As north america does not have the dumb british anti hunt laws maybe we should inport a hunt pack and make a sport of it, find a wild place, release a few petards and then let the dogs out, OK it would be a bit cruel to force the dogs to bite these vermin but if we coated the pETErds with some maple syrup it should mask the bad taste, then we could get the heads stuffed and mounted and hung on the front of our trucks, perfect!!

    Why even bother with using dogs when a cat can fuck up a PETArd. Plus, cats seem to know better than to eat some of the shit they kill. My cats seem to just want to kill shit for fun.

  50. 50
    Radical Redneck says:

    LC Rurik @:

    Or maybe revive the old tradition of a beaver hat – with a new twist. If Rad or BC follow this post, you should be forewarned

    Looks like the gauntlet’s been thrown down! 😈

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