Eat A Beaver For Urf Day…

Thor knows that we’ve eaten our share of ’em over the years. Hell, one of the nicest trends to come out of Algore’s Great Glow Bull Worming Scam™ has been the veritable explosion of shaved beavers all over the world since the temps really started crankin’ up in the 1980’s. Who knew that so many beavers would willingly shed their pelts after a measly 1.5F zero degree temperature rise over the last century? Anyhow, Basil explains the history of Urf Day over at IMAO.

shaved-beaver

F.E.T.E.

66 comments

  1. 1
    LC Aggie Sith says:

    For Earth Day I chopped a few tree limbs, and burned them. WHOOP!!!

    And I had no idea there were beavers in Brazil, either….. :em02:

    FIRST!!!!

  2. 2

    And I had no idea there were beavers in Brazil, either…..

    Brazil has been on the cutting edge of shaved beaver propagation methodology for decades! You could say that they’ve been “a cut above” the rest of the world for quite some time.

    :em93:

  3. 3
    LC HJ Caveman82952 says:

    Actually, truth be known…the Earth is fat. My home planet is fat. You don’t think so? Well, you don’t bulge twenty-six miles at the equator, do you? The girth of the Earth. So, following global warming logic, the Earth causes global warming…… And to further entertain and amuse us, I believe man-made global warming is bee ess. Yes, man made global warming is bee-ess. Climate change has always been here.
    On to door number two….So the Antarctic Ross ice shelf is melting you say? Not so. Have you ever noticed, or perhaps simply failed to mention overall the antarctic ice caps are thickening, not cooling? So you retreat to the arctic, aha, ice caps melting. But offset by increasing antarctic ice formations. Poor polar bears, huh? They can swim a hundred fucking miles, and often choose to do so. The only animal they fear, aside from us, are the orcas.
    And for our next contestant……Bovine flatulence, you say? Really? Well then, how would you explain a hundred million buffalo once covering North America, each one twice twice the size of a cow. Stampedes to make the earth tremble, derailing trains, trampling tee pees and just generally making big pests of themselves
    One other sad note…you ask these assorted meatballs and zealots what gas presents the greatest danger, you will generally hear cee oh two. Bzzzzzt! Wrongo meatballs, it isn’t cee oh two. It’s not ass gas. It’s hydrogen monoxide. Gaseous hydrogen monoxide, more commonly known as water vapor. Water has an enormous specific heat, only surpassed by ammonia. Think of it, our planet is covered in it. Sleep tight, zealots. Three hundred and seventeen million cubic miles of the stuff, covering the Earth. Think of it as cosmic coolant or anti-freeze.
    And thank God for it, unless you like continental winters.

  4. 4
    LC Aggie Sith says:

    they’ve been “a cut above” the rest of the world for quite some time

    From what I hear, BC, a “cut” is not exactly the method used……

    :em01:

  5. 5

    From what I hear, BC, a “cut” is not exactly the method used……

    There you go waxing semantically again.

    A warning for those who’ve never dealt with the elusive Brazilian shaved beaver (Vulvus waxedus nakedii): Beware one that has been nicked in action… There’s nothing worse than an angry beaver. Trust us on this one.

  6. 6
    LC Gunsniper says:

    Today I celebrated my fortieth birthday and, since my arrival into this world predates this “urfday” horse shit by one year, it is officially known, at least in my little imaginary world, as “Gunsniper Day”.

    I just want to say that all the eco-trash phonies, the gaia-worshiping wanna-be hippies, the shit leech hanger-on celebrities, and the douche bag corporate sponsors of this horrific sham of a snake-oil spectacle can suck a beehive round out of the bore of an M102.

    FUCK “urfday”!

  7. 7

    Happy BirfDay Gunsniper…and screw urf day..

    I’ll also celebrate THESE birthdays today:

    1922, Born on this day, Jazz musician and bandleader Charles Mingus, died 5th January 1979 aged 56. His final project was collaboration with Joni Mitchell ‘Mingus.’

    1936, Born on this day, Glen Campbell, country singer, songwriter, actor, TV presenter. Hits include ‘By the Time I Get to Phoenix’, ‘Wichita Lineman’, and ‘Rhinestone Cowboy’, has released more than 70 albums selling over 45 million records. As a session musician in the 1960s he worked with Bobby Darin, Ricky Nelson, The Monkees, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, The Velvet Underground, Frankie Laine, The Association, Jan & Dean and The Mamas & the Papas. He was a touring member of The Beach Boys, filling in for an ailing Brian Wilson in 1964 and 1965. His guitar playing can be heard on ‘Strangers in the Night’ by Frank Sinatra, ‘You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’‘ by The Righteous Brothers and ‘I’m a Believer’ by The Monkees.

    1950, Born on this day, Peter Frampton, guitar, vocals, The Herd, (1968 UK No.5 single ‘I Don’t Want Our Loving To Die’), Humble Pie, (1969 UK No.4 single ‘Natural Born Bugie’) & solo, (1976 UK No.10 single ‘Show Me The Way’). Worked with David Bowie, George Harrison, Harry Nilsson.

    oh yeah…..ROT IN HELL LENIN, YOU COMMUNIST SON OF A BITCH (it’s his birthday too)

  8. 8
    LC Gunsniper says:

    Thank you Jaybear and I only wish I could have properly celebrated by burning forty semi-truck tires.

  9. 9
    LC The Major - Imperial Taunter of Oafs and Knaves says:

    B.C., Imperial Torturer™ sez:

    There’s nothing worse than an angry beaver. Trust us on this one.

    Angry Beaver? Check this web site out.

    B.C., Good to know that you still have more than your share of class! :em04:

  10. 10
    LC TerribleTroy, Imperial Centurion says:

    SNIPE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER! The world would be a lesser place without your presence. I suggest much tequila and take tommorrow off…..oh yeah and stay away from mud puddles. ……Congrats man, you managed to survive another year….many more to ya! :em69:

  11. 11
    LC Fmwoods01 says:

    LC Gunsniper @:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

    The mention of mud puddles puts a fond smile on my face. Ditto to what TROY said. :em03:

    Oh yeah, fuck urfday

    Yesterday was Fair Maiden’s 29th. Seems like yesterday I delivered her with my own 2 hands.

    D’

  12. 12
    Ten-Ten says:

    LC Gunsniper

    I only wish I could have properly celebrated by burning forty semi-truck tires.

    I smoked 18 of ’em today in your honor.

    (Actually, I was saving the life of a dumb bitch on a cell phone……But it’s the thought that counts, right?)

    Happy Birfday!

  13. 13
    LC hilljohnny says:

    LC Gunsniper sez:

    Today I celebrated my fortieth birthday

    Happy (belated) Birthday. :em69:
    while you may be concerned about hitting forty, it’s not so bad as the alternative.
    and remember to enjoy it while you can ’cause fifty hits back. :em58:
    right now i can just see sixty lurking down the alley waiting to mug me.

  14. 14
    lc purple raider says:

    Happy (belated) Birthday.
    while you may be concerned about hitting forty, it’s not so bad as the alternative.
    and remember to enjoy it while you can ’cause fifty hits back.

    hilljohnny speaks the truth, Gunsniper. Forty isn’t terrible, but fifty hits with all the sublety of a Mack truck.

    Oh, and Rot In Hell, Lenin.

  15. 15

    Speaking of birthdays, the Random Daughter is getting labor induced today. I am at the hospital right now.

  16. 16
    LC Xealot says:

    I celebrated Earth day by eating a giant steak. It seemed proper to enjoy the fruits of the Earth on Earth Day.

  17. 17

    There’s nothing worse than an angry beaver. Trust us on this one.

    Other than wishing Gunsniper a Very Happy Birthday!!!! :em03: ….

    I wouldn’t touch this post with BC’s dick. :em01:

  18. 18

    Awrite LC Random!

    We never know which of these kids are gonna’ be the one to save the world, but my money is on Tha Rottpups!

    May the New One take your hopes and dreams and RUN WITH ‘EM!

    In other non-news, Our outdoor feline infestation in chief opted not to support the Military Industrial Complex, by passing up the usual chemically processed, machine produced n’ shipped, robot bagged industrial-psychologically marketed, newspaper n’ mail hyped dried Brown 24 inna fancy bag,, breakfast

    Had some fresh flyin’ sushi.

  19. 19

    LC Cheapshot911, Dept. of Redneck Tech @:
    I once had a cat like that. He regarded the bird feeder as his personal hunting ground and let me know when it was empty.

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Tailfin says:

    In honor of Urf Day, I think I’ll take my lovely wife out this weekend for a long spin in my lovely 1960 Pontiac Catalina Safari station wagon, all eight cylinders and 389 cubic inches worth of pure classic American cast-iron V-8 carbon-belching pleasure. Should be enough to completely fuck over the carbon footprints of ten or twelve chip-on-the-shoulder environmentalist hybrid sardine-can drivers for the year.

    BTW, I ran across an interesting website this morning – http://www.thecapsolution.org – using some blue-collar hardhat guys looking all rough & tough & stuff, and talking about how a carbon cap will be such a great deal for creating jobs. As I browsed through the site and the steam started rolling out of my ears, I saw the “Contact” tab along the top menu. The following is what they got from me:

    “Renting a few oily beau-hunks and propping them up in front of some industrial ductwork for an artsy photo-shoot may gain you the low-hanging fruit of the uninformed, but it’s not going to be enough to convince thinking Americans that you have repealed the laws of economics and invented a way to make water flow uphill. If ever there was an idea to enrich a few small sectors by converting the disfiguring guilt of the environmental lobby and global-warming charlatans into real economic calamity that could be foist upon the masses and bring an end to that double-plus ungood U.S. economy as we know it, I would be hard pressed to come up with something more effective than the carbon cap. I suggest you trade your hardhat caps for heat shields and prepare for your lame idea to go down in flames.”

    If any of you feel so moved to help them along, go and follow suit.

  22. 22
    Princess Natasha, Uber-Whore of Zion says:

    To hell with URF day! I graduated today. I am a full-fledged Army Engineer Officer. Educated just enough to be dangerous…

  23. 23
    Her Decadence Princess Natasha says:

    Muahahahahaha! New nickname, just for fun!!

  24. 24

    Princess Natasha, Uber-Whore of Zion sez:

    To hell with URF day! I graduated today. I am a full-fledged Army Engineer Officer. Educated just enough to be dangerous…

    Launch a MICLIC for me LT……

    congratulations Ma’am

  25. 25
    lc purple raider says:

    I graduated today. I am a full-fledged Army Engineer Officer.

    :em04:

    Now go blow some bad guys up.

  26. 26
    LC Fmwoods01 says:

    Princess Natasha, Uber-Whore of Zion @:

    ESSAYONS!!!!! Princess.

    Any clue what Brigade you will undoubtedly change for the better?

    Remember the 51 Hotels are your friends.

    D’

  27. 27

    In Honor of “Urf Day 2009” I have informed the machine shop that I changed my mind, I want the larger .225 Intake valves thus increasing the amount of dead dinosaur juice my engine can consume, and while they’re at it, just go ahead punch the block out….Thus increasing the Snarl Mobile Chariot O doom from it’s already tree killing 454 Cubic Inches to an old growth forest endangering 496 Cubic Inches….ZOOM ZOOM that Mazda!!

    I also told United Airlines to go fuck themselves …sideways… with a nail embedded 2×4…. after they had the gall to send me an offer for ….carbon offsets purchased when I flew on their cut rate bullshit flights.

    Text of that E-mail is below….(names changed to protect the RWE identity of yours truly).

    For the cost of a latte, you can offset the carbon emissions from your roundtrip air travel between Chicago and Washington, D.C. – Every Action CountsSM.

    Dear Mr. Snarl,

    Protecting the environment is important to United and an issue that we know is important to you, our valued customers. In support of our environmental commitment, we are implementing programs that will make a difference in the air and on the ground – including efficient route and fuel planning, alternative fuels for ground support equipment, and recycling programs.

    To complement our operational programs, we have partnered with Conservation International over the course of a decade, in support of its efforts to slow climate change.

    Today, along with Conservation International, we are launching a carbon offset program through a new collaborative effort with Sustainable Travel International, a non-profit that provides certified, quality environmental programs to counter the impact of carbon emissions.

    Your charitable contribution* will apply towards the offset of carbon emissions from your travels by protecting forests or enabling renewable energy programs. It’s a simple way to make a lasting impact. Donate now

    Happy Urf day from your humble chariot builder and proud member of the RWE club.

  28. 28

    Okay guys – got a chew-toy for you…

    Some of you are familiar with Snoop – our black Right-Wing-Extremist – over @ ‘MagicNegroWatch’

    He’s got a guy named ‘Brian’ in his comments-section HERE – and he just asked for some help in administering a bitch-slapping.

    Go Ye Forth, Rotties – and do what you do!

    – MuscleDaddy

  29. 29
    LC Subotai Bahadur says:

    Her Decadence Princess Natasha

    May I offer congratulations, and thanks. It does this old man’s RWE heart good to know that you will be there when TSHTF.

    LC Subotai Bahadur

  30. 30
    Tailfin says:

    @ Her Decadence Princess Natasha: Congratulations, and thank you for your service.

    @ LC Snarl: That carbon-offset bullshit really gets my shorts in a wad. So it’s a donation? Tax-free? Who gets the money? How do they get approved to get the money? How do I sign up to get some of the money? If I choose to park my ass on the couch for a half an hour instead of driving to the grocery store, can I sell that to someone for an offset? What a bunch of crap.

    And while I’m ranting, did I just get old and crotchety after I turned forty, or has the younger generation gone soft in the brain thinking that a shoebox riceburner with a muffler that makes it sound like a pissed-off beehive and a hang glider bolted to the rear deck is a “cool ride”?

    Please, Mr. Snarl, next time your next to one of these misguided yutes, bury your right foot in the carpet and show them what an automobile is supposed to sound like. And what the rear end is supposed to look like.

  31. 31

    Congratulations, Princess Natasha.

    Now I am going to have to ask for the other LC’s to start spinning the prayer wheels. The RD is going in for a C-section. I am now one nervous grandpa.

  32. 32
    LC Rurik says:

    LC Gunsniper @:

    Happy Birthday. :em03: And remember put the ethanol in yourself and not your fuel tank. :em03:

  33. 33
    LC Rurik says:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery @:

    :em69: :em69: :em69:

  34. 34
    LC Rurik says:

    Princess Natasha, Uber-Whore of Zion sez:

    To hell with URF day! I graduated today. I am a full-fledged Army Engineer Officer. Educated just enough to be dangerous…

    Essayons! Ma’am :em04:

    Now please, Ma’am, Keep your hands where we can see them and step slowly away from that bulldozer. :em01:

  35. 35
    LC HJ Caveman82952 says:

    Good Lord, Gunsniper….I can literally remember the day you were born. I was a senior in high school…now where did my dementia meds go??

  36. 36
    LC Gunsniper says:

    So, what were you doing at 11:14 AM that day, Caveman?

  37. 37

    LC Rurik @:

    thanks man, you were an engineer right?

    I got to spend a couple of weeks at Leonard Wood (Lost in the Woods), in the mid -90’s. Watching and recording mine clearing and bridging exercises. Got to see some really cool combat engineering vehicles close up…..the M1-TWMP, FWMP, AVLB’s and the MICLIC…..

    The AVLB and MICLIC (shown below) have to be the damdest coolest things I ever saw….one of the perks of that job that I really miss is spending time in the field around stuff like this. Never got to see a MICLIC fire though…. :em12:

    [img]http://www.from-ua.com/upload/51c02c85dbbe082.jpg[/img]

  38. 38
    LC HJ Caveman82952 says:

    If you are speaking of Pacific time, I believe I was having lunch. If not, and was central time, I was probably feeding our critters at home, horses, dogs, cats, pigeons, chickens, etc. Happy birthday, Gunsniper….

  39. 39
    LC Gunsniper says:

    Actually it was Eastern time (born in Pennsylvania, moved to the midwest in 1997).

    Thanks for the happy B-Days, all. I got back from a gratis dinner courtesy of my Army buddy JB and his wife Jamie an hour ago and now I’m enjoying a couple of shots of Cabo Anejo and rewatching the beginning episodes of BSG for my fist of a three day 40th birthday celebration.

    I took tomorrow off so I can enjoy a sunny eighty degree Friday.

  40. 40
    LC Proud Infidel says:

    ESSAYONS and Congrats, Princess N@!! I did boot camp and AIT at good ‘ol Fort Lost-in-the-woods back in ’91, aaahhh, the blood, sweat, tears, and lotsa mud…… Anyway, have you started EOBC yet?

  41. 41
    LC Proud Infidel says:

    Oh, and is it just a silly coincidence that UUUUUURRRF day is also Vladimir Lenin’s birthday?

  42. 42
    Her Decadence Princess Natasha says:

    Thanks guys for all the congratulations and best wishes! I actually enjoyed Fort Lost in the Woods very much. The school was a blast, the people were awesome. I was quite sad to be leaving. I may be coming back there for Sapper school at a later time, if my state pays for the training. Engineers are bad-ass!!

  43. 43
    LC Gunsniper says:

    Lest I forget, My most hearty congratulations, Princess Natasha.

    *hoists a double shot* :em03:

  44. 44
    LC PrimEviL says:

    Natasha,
    Congratulations, don’t get too loaded while celebrating, OK? :em01:

  45. 45
    LC Rurik says:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery @:

    “Engineers they have no fears,
    They do not mess with trifles….”
    Indeference to 2nd Lt. Princess, I will not finish the rest of this verse, or others. :em01:

    Sadly, all the neat toys came after my time. I got to handle a TO&E shovel and a few light trucks. Ah, and lug a lot of heavy stuff that weighed more than I did. :em95:

    But C-4 and det cord are neat things for any season or age. And speaking of the hoodlums mentioned in aonther thread, that invokes creative use of det cord. Natasha might be able to make some guesses.

    And Natasha , yes the school is a blast – literally. Good luck making sapper school.

  46. 46
    LC Gunsniper says:

    And speaking of the hoodlums mentioned in aonther thread, that invokes creative use of det cord.

    Preceded by a generous length of strategically placed fuse cord for visual effect.

  47. 47
    Ogrrre says:

    The environazis are speaking out of both sides of their mouths. They bitch about all the carbon in the environment, then bitch about plastics in the landfills not breaking down for a thousand years. Not bothering with how they know it takes a thousand years for a plastic bottle to break down, don’t they realize that plastic in the landfill means carbon taken out of the environment?
    The chemical formula for polyethylene is CH2- CH2. The atomic weight of Carbon is 12 and Hydrogen is 1. So, for every 26 tons of polyethylene put in a landfill, that keeps 22 tons of carbon out of the environment for a thousand years. Isn’t that what the ecocommies want? Carbon kept out of the environment?
    Polypropylene is made up of polymer chains of CH3, polystyrene is polymer chains of CH-CH2, and so on. Plastics keep carbon out of the atmosphere, thereby reducing “globull wormening”. Too bad these assholes can never be satisfied.

  48. 48
    LC Gunsniper says:

    The envirotards are still convinced the first law of thermodynamics is merely a guideline.

  49. 49
    LC FreedomFighter says:

    buissness as usual for me. if my AC worked i would have been running it.

    I graduated today. I am a full-fledged Army Engineer Officer. Educated just enough to be dangerous…

    Do u have any extra TM’s you would be willing to part with by chance?

  50. 50
    Light29ID says:

    Princess Natasha, Uber-Whore of Zion @:

    In the words of SS-Obersturmbannfuehrer Joachim Peiper during the Battle of the Bulge as stood before a blown bridge:

    “Those damned Engineers”

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