Fresh Meat

Whiny Millennial Whining Crybaby Whines About Being Called Whiny

While brave men and women are fighting and dying, whiny, coddled, crybaby millennial college students here at home are demanding that their law exams be postponed because they just can’t deal with the emotional distress of not being granted the lynching in Ferguson that they’d set their tiny little minds on. It’s just too much to handle for the special little snowflakes, don’t you see?

One professor at Oberlin, of all places, had a delightful answer to the pleading, sniveling little turds trying to get out of taking their exams on time.

But what made His Majesty laugh out really loud was this pathetic, spineless, mewling, incoherent blather penned by a spoiled brat at Haaah-Vuhd. (That link also shamelessly stolen from Ace).

Over the last week, much has been said about law students’ petitioning for exam extensions in light of the circumstances surrounding the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner at the hands of police officers.

Much, but not nearly enough. But that will surely change if you keep it up, you petulant little unmanned brat.

Students at Harvard Law School, Columbia Law School, Georgetown University Law Center and several other schools requested that their administrations allow extensions on final exams for students who have been confronting the aftermath of the recent failed grand jury indictments of the officers who killed the unarmed black men.

Brown was armed quite credibly with his fist and his body mass, using the former repeatedly against the officer’s face while trying to take his sidearm away. But we’re sure he was only wanting to put the firearm in a safe place so nobody would get hurt. Guns are dangerous, don’t you know?

If you don’t consider a couple of hundred pounds of muscle backing up two angry fists “armed”, then you’re more than welcome to contact us for a demonstration. Provided you sign a waiver first, that is.

In response, opponents of exam extensions have declared that to grant these requests would be a disservice to the students.

It would be, but considering how worthless you millennial invertebrates have already proven yourselves to be, we much doubt that more damage can be done to you than what has already been so thoroughly achieved by your sorry excuses for “parents” and their utter failure to provide you with anything that might be mistaken for parenting.

Law students, they argue, must learn how to engage critically with the law in the face of intense adversity.

Or, in the case of your kind, any adversity at all, a concept wholly foreign to you.

Drawing comparisons to events surrounding the Civil Rights Movement and other times of intense turmoil, these opponents portray today’s law students as coddled millennials using traumatic events as an excuse for their inability to focus on a three-hour exam.

That, we believe, is what is commonly known as “an accurate description of the suspect”, a term you should be familiar with.

In essence, law students are being told to grow up and learn how to focus amidst stress and anxiety—like “real” lawyers must do.

Real lawyers out in the real world doing actual lawyering, as opposed to spoiled shitless, entitled wimps like yourself doing mainly keg stands and panty raids.

Speaking as one of those law students, I can say that this response is misguided: Our request for exam extensions is not being made from a position of weakness, but rather from one of strength and critical awareness.

Weakness is strength, ignorance is knowledge, cowardice is courage. You’ve memorized your Orwell creditably, we must say. It’s just that his point flew over your pointed head entirely, but that should hardly come as a surprise to anybody.

Although over the last few weeks many law students have experienced moments of total despair, minutes of inconsolable tears and hours of utter confusion, many of these same students have also spent days in action—days of protesting, of organizing meetings, of drafting emails and letters, and of starting conversations long overdue.

Despair, tears and confusion? What the hell have you been doing? Facing the French charge at Agincourt? Staring down a German Panzer Division? Oh, you’ve been wasting your study time running around in the streets waving signs and holding meetings, not to mention that most dreadfully demanding and heartbreaking chore: writing emails and letters!

We take it all back. Courage such as yours comes but once every thirty generations. We hold our manhoods cheap that we were safe abed at home while you fought with Noble Harry upon St. Crispin’s day in his immortal 3rd Suffolk Regiment of Letter Writers. Dammit, but you gave those infernal Frenchies hell when you did bravely face their charge, painstakingly typed out “cry havoc” and didst most courageously unleash the fliers of war!

Surely no mere mortal can deny you a postponement upon having shown such valour in the face of almost certain death and dismemberment! Indeed, let us proclaim this day a holiday and give you a ticker tape parade (provided that we use recycled, organically grown, fair price tape only, of course).

We have been synthesizing decades of police interactions, dissecting problems centuries old, and exposing the hypocrisy of silence.

And whilst you’ve found the answers to literally hundreds of years of problems, did you, by any chance, find a cure for cancer as well? Surely that can’t be much to ask after you’ve successfully unraveled the Gordian knot of unsolvable quandaries that have vexed mankind for eons.

I have seen the psychological trauma brought on by disillusionment with our justice system send some law students into a period of depression.

Awww… Somebody read a story that made them cwy? Here, have some ice cream.

After all, every death of an unarmed youth at the hands of law enforcement is a tragedy. The hesitancy to recognize the validity of these psychic effects demonstrates that, in addition to conversations on race, gender and class, our nation is starving for a genuine discussion about mental health.

We certainly do. We see a lot of mental health issues in your writing that ought to be addressed, so repair yourself to the psychiatrist’s office post haste, or just hie yourself off to Bedlam directly to save some time.

But to reduce our calls for exam extensions to mere cries for help exhibits a failure to understand the powerful images of die-ins and the booming chants of protestors disrupting the continuation of business as usual in cities across the country.

Howling, vandalizing mobs. Hardly powerful images, much less uncommon when savages are let loose upon society without adequate adult supervision.

Where some commentators see weakness or sensitivity, perhaps they should instead see strength—the strength to know when our cups of endurance have run over and when the time for patience has ended.

Listen, young craven one, we already did discuss your sad allegiance to Newspeak, did we not?

Perhaps they should instead see courage—the courage to look our peers in the eyes and uncomfortably ask them to bear these burdens of racism and classism that we have together inherited from generations past.

We’ll give you that one, were you ever to try to look us in the eyes and “ask” us to bear the burdens for deeds we never committed against people who are long dead. That would take courage. Or one last full measure of colossal stupidity.

We have taken many exams before, but never have we done this. We are scared, but no longer will we be spectators to injustice.

Oh my, the soaring language. You might want to save that for more worthy causes than talking yourself out of taking an exam, because as it is, you’re just making yourself look rather silly, which you really don’t need to do as you are already silly by your mere existence. And what, exactly, are you so scared of? That the police of Ferguson are going to descend upon Harvard and beat some sense into you? Much as we should like to see it happen, it might even have a salutary effect, we very much doubt it.

You keep forgetting the 11th Commandment:

Thou Shalt Not Take Thyself Too Seriously.

Our focus and critical thinking are at an all-time peak while the importance of our textbooks is at a low.

This whole concept of studying and taking exams? You’re so very much not getting the concept at all. Having your focus and critical thinking skills at an “all-time peak” is actually a good thing, right up close to an exam. Oh, but “the importance of your textbooks is at a low.” We forgot. Too bad for you, because the importance of your textbooks is not for you to decide upon when you’re at school, you insufferable dunce.

“Sir, my focus and my marksmanship is at an all-time high, but the importance of my rifle is at a low, so can we just put off tomorrow’s firefight until next week?”

It is not that law students are incapable of handling their exams.

Just the current generation of them, it would appear.

It is that we are unwilling to remove ourselves, even for a few days, from this national conversation.

Ahem. Listen, private Snowflake, we don’t give one singed hair in Lucifer’s arse what you are “unwilling” to do, except inasmuch as it provides us with a most welcome excuse for putting you in front of a firing squad should you fail to reconsider within the next approximately two seconds.

As future practitioners, professors, judges and policymakers, we have all been trained not only in the faithful application of the law but also in the critical examination of its effectiveness. And by our analysis, responsible members of the legal community can no longer defend our criminal justice system as exemplifying fair process when that system so frequently produces the same unjust result—life drained from an unarmed black body by a barrage of government-issued bullets.

Ferguson is an example of a life “unjustly” drained from an “unarmed” violent offender trying to maim and/or kill a police officer while depriving him of his sidearm?

Alright, we agree. No need for those exams. You all fail. Instantly. Pack your dunnage and piss off back to momma’s teats. Dismissed. Any single individual on the Grand Jury in question, on the other hand, ought to be at least issued an honorary degree if you are the best that Harvard can produce. Speaking of Harvard, if that is the kind of “analytical thinking” and “understanding of the law” that you churn out, we strongly recommend that the institution be shut down, the professors set to the task of disassembling every mortared brick of it upon pain of death, after which they will be sued into penury for fraud.

We recognize that this is a moment for change. If not us, then who? For most of us, we know that if we get lower grades this semester, this cost will have been worth the importance and privilege of joining a national movement to fundamentally reform this country’s approach to law enforcement and criminal justice. But just because we are willing to pay this price does not mean we should have to.

It DOES, however, mean that if your “courageous” proclamation that you’re willing to pay the price is to have any sort of credibility, then you have to be willing to bear it without any caterwauling, whining, puling, sniveling and crying your widdle eyes out.

So you fail.


The most striking irony behind this criticism comes from the constant refrain we have heard over the years from every “real” lawyer who has offered us a job,

A situation that is hopefully about to change rather dramatically, unless those firms really want new lawyers who will go sulk in a corner every time they’re under pressure in a courtroom. In which case we’d like their names so that we may never, ever, mistakenly retain one of their idiots.

as well as sometimes from these same critics, about how detached legal education has become from the realities of legal practice. Our requests for exam extensions are requests for our faculties and administrations to recognize that this movement is our legal education—that when we march, when we advocate, when we demand accountability and action we are employing the analytical skills and legal knowledge that we have learned in our law school classrooms far more than we would be if we responded to a hypothetical exam prompt.

Are you sure that you want the faculties to take that seriously, face value, as what you mean to say with all of this? That your petulant reaction and everything you’ve said truly represents your understanding and retention of what you’ve been taught in law school?

Think about it. Carefully. Because your parents are about to be out tens of thousands of dollars of very real money (and they deserve it, for having fucked you up this badly, but we digress) if you answer it incorrectly.

We really shouldn’t, because you clearly don’t deserve it, but let’s summarize and help you a bit:

You’ve had access to the same evidence in the Ferguson case as everybody else. You have the same access to sources as everybody else, access that previous generations of law students could only dream of, thanks to the Internet. You have, by your own admission, spent all of your study time and your free time, which is copious (and just shut up, we went to tough schools ourself, studying very demanding subjects, so we know what we speak of when we say that), applied all of your vaunted analytical and critical thinking skills to this particular case, again by your own admission, and the result you’ve come up with, your ultimate verdict based on all of that combined with your years of legal teachings, is that an unarmed guy was unjustly murdered by a cop.

We’d fail you in a heartbeat based on that alone, because clearly you’re at least 18 cartridges short of a full magazine, and any time spent on trying to teach you anything would be an utter waste.

Each year as classes of law students enter and exit our nation’s legal institutions we are told the same thing: You are the future of the law. Well, the future is now.

If you’re the future of the law, then at least we have decades of watching you idiots get clobbered into paste in court rooms across the nation by actual lawyers to look forward to.

Note to self and anybody else: If that’s the state of our law schools, then we can only say “never retain a lawyer who’s less than 40 years old, and if you can’t afford that, represent yourself.” The saying that a man who represents himself has a fool for a client remains true, but it’s still better than having an imbecile for your counsel.


Taking out a Raghead

Thanks to our Australian correspondent, we already have a spectacular play-by-play and continuous update on the latest muslim terror attack in Australia.

Thankfully, only 2 human beings (and one dune coon) out of two dozen died in the attack, but that is still way too many (any number of human beings above zero would be too many). Of course, the main takeaway from this, according to our ever “neutral” media, will be that #NotAllMuslims did this and that we now have to listen to endless sermons about how “Islam is the Religion of Peace™”. We might get a few minutes of remembrance of the heroes who died after this 3,629th latest senseless burst of muslim violence (and we’re only talking about this week), but we’re not holding our breath.


Just like #NotAllJapanese took part in the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Thankfully, our grandparents weren’t quite as “nuanced” in their response. Also, #NotAllGermans invaded Poland. We guess that makes the Holocaust OK too, right?

But that’s not what we want to talk about. We all already know what the knee-jerk defenders of the Religion of Mass Murder are going to say, especially with their biggest cheerleader since Mohammed still in the White House, so it’s pointless to belabor that fact.

We’d like to solicit your opinions, because more than just a lot of you have actual, on the ground experience with entry situations in a civilian environment. We only know how to do it grunt style, which means “flatten everything and fuck it all.”

So, background: The standoff in Sydney had gone on for 17 hours with the cops on the ground not knowing if dropping the raghead was safe as he might have a dead man’s switch or an accomplice. At this point, the lone sand rat dozes off, dreaming of his favorite underage goats, and the owner of the cafe decides to make a move to disable the animal. Unfortunately, the ensuing struggle ends up with the owner dead, but it does force the decision whether to go in and end it or not upon the commander of the police forces outside. You can’t very well just sit by and listen to the sound of hostages being murdered. Not to mention that the sacrifice of the owner knocks the muslim baby fucker off balance enough to create a situation where entry might be possible.

So the cop in charge gives the order (the correct one in our ignorant opinion) to enter and this happens:

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Our question is this: We obviously don’t know squat about forced entries in a civilian setting, but we know that a lot of our readers DO, being professional LEOs. In our opinion, that’s one professional stack entering in a very creditable manner, but what do you guys think?

We’re not talking about the decision to send the troops in, we’d have done the same thing and probably sooner, being a primitive grunt, just how they made their entry.

We think they made a damn good show, and the fact that “only” one human being died in the crossfire before they shredded mohammed’s favorite goat is pretty good, considering how many people were in there. But what do YOU think, trying not to armchair quarterback the move?


Jihadi flag waves in armed cafe hold-up\

Cafe in lockdown in the middle of the Sydney CBD, broad daylight.

There are reports that two gunman have taken hostages, some of which are standing with their hands up at the windows in the popular Lindt chocolate shop, which has two or three entrances. There is also a black and white flag being held up in a window. It is believed to be the Black Standard, a jihadist flag.

Religion of Peace..MY ASS.

Party of Submission Submits Again

If one were to accept the oft-repeated meme that “Islam Means Submission”, then the GOP might as well come out and declare themselves the first Islamic Party of the United States.

Once again, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Once again, they completely and utterly ignored a clear mandate from the voting population. Once again, the Quislings dropped to their knees and slurped the balls of King Obola.

It’s hard to use the power of the purse without holding the purse.

Republicans are making a massive mistake by funding the federal government through September 30, 2015. If the spending plan that barely passed the GOP House last night survives the Democratic Senate, Republicans lose most of their leverage to defund Emperor Obama’s executive order on amnesty for illegal aliens until at least next October 1.

Which is exactly what the GOP wanted all along.

That will give Obama and legions of federal bureaucrats and lawyers nine months to sink the amnesty decree deeper and deeper into the American body politic and this country’s socio-economic and cultural institutions.

Which is exactly what the GOP wanted all along.

Ronald Reagan once observed, “The closest thing to eternal life is a temporary government program.” Nine months is temporary enough to make this amnesty permanent.

Which is exactly what the GOP wanted all along.

Obama’s unconstitutional order will be that much harder to reverse if it becomes fully funded until at least nearly one month after next Labor Day.

Which is exactly what…

OK, you get the drift now.

They desperately want the cheap slave labor that shamnesty provides to their corporate bribe masters, and they’re in a damned hurry to get as much of Obola’s agenda passed before January next so they can whine about how “they had no choice” and “the Democrats held all the cards” and their old favorite surrender excuse: “We can’t do anything with one half of one third of the government.”

Come January, when those excuses are no longer valid (not that they’re valid now, if one has the slightest passing knowledge of how the Constitution, Congress and the passing of bills work), they need for all that King Obola and themselves want codified into law, and they need to make it so it’s impossible to reverse, should those Useful Idiots they call “voters” start getting uppity and demand that they do what they were voted in there to do.


More Kibble

The Long March Continues

So a nice lady tries to throw oil on the waters and emphasize that ALL lives matter in the wake of the idiot savage murder rampages after the Ferguson non-incident, and she gets butchered for using the word “all” instead of “black”? “We are united in our insistence that all lives matter,” read the e-mail,

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And the “Idiot of the Week” Award Goes to…

Chief Norm Jacobs of Beloit, WI, for this: According to Wisconsin Public Radio (WPR), Jacobs asked for volunteers because that’s how he has seen healthcare providers handle viral outbreaks. WPR quoted Jacobs saying: “Gun violence is as serious as the Ebola virus is represented in the media, and we should fight it using the tools

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Psst… New Feminists… You’re Not Helping

We’ve heard that there was, allegedly, a gang rape going on at U of VA and all of the Prozi Media and the SJWs were having synchronized Outragegasms about it. Until it turned out that nothing of the sort seemed to have ever happened. We know, inconceivable, right? Oh wait… Duke Lacrosse? OK, so maybe

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There’s a Problem Here?

So we guess the next Big Story to keep people’s minds off of the numerous crimes of King Obola and his Prozi Democrat Party is how the CIA brutally tortured innocent brown people while lying to the poor innocent Prozi Democrats about it, the Prozi Democrat who were baying for blood and howling for retaliation

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The Oath

OK, so I’m going to be a bit heavy here, but it all ties in to where we are as a nation and the whole discussion of “seceding”, “rebelling” and “who’s in the right here.” First off, speaking as a foreign born American, I do believe that I have a different angle on the issue.

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Bonus Schadenboner, and Could We Please Remember Who This Country BELONGS To?

We were hoping for some added schadenbonerifficness in the wake of Mary “ObolaCare” Landrieu’s cataclysmic beating in the runoff election, and we weren’t disappointed. The Prozis reacted in their typical, dignified, gracious fashion to having been slapped about the face with a wet catfish and made to resent it. Oh, who are we kidding?: I

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