Fresh Meat

Still A Mystery What Could Possibly Have Caused This…

Via LC readerjp, G.L.O.R.

A Muslim man from Somalia unleashed a bloody machete attack on patrons at a restaurant owned by a Christian Arab Israeli in Columbus, Ohio, Thursday night and the FBI is now investigating it as a possible act of “lone-wolf” terrorism.

Another “lone wolf”, huh?

A lone cowboy rode towards the horizon. Another lone cowboy rode towards the horizon. And another one, and another one, and yet another one, until the whole damn horizon was chock full of “lone” cowboys…

Barry was known to the FBI, but not under full scale investigation, law enforcement sources told ABC News. He was in a law enforcement database which includes names potentially related to terrorism, sources said.

Oh we’re sure he wasn’t. To put somebody under “full investigation” for possible terrorist tendencies always tied to grown muslim men just because he was a grown muslim man would be RAYCISSSS! And most likely un-Constituuuuuuuuutional, bray, bark, arf, arf too.

Four people were wounded in the machete attack, one critically.

The owner of the restaurant, Hany Baransi, who is a Christian Arab from Israel, said he had not taken a day off since Jan. 2 but took off Thursday night because of a migraine headache. He is a proud Israeli citizen who flies the Israeli flag in his restaurant.

Oh, so he had it coming? Got it. But anybody as much as look funny at a subhuman muslim ape carrying around a scimitar and an ISIS flag and you’re a bloody NAZI!

Police said the man entered the restaurant and asked for the owner.

He came back an hour later with the machete and started hacking patrons.

“This was a brutal attack,” said Sgt. Rich Weiner, with Columbus Police. “The second time, nothing was said. He just came in and started the attack.”

“Right now, there’s nothing that leads us to believe that this is anything but just a random attack,” Weiner said.

Oh yes. Completely random. By a random muslim ape attacking a random restaurant with a random Israeli flag on the very random wall. Nothing to see here. Certainly nothing to do with the Religion of Peace™ and its totally non-existent murderous animosity towards anything and anybody who isn’t a muslim. Nosirree. Go fuck yourself, Sgt. No, don’t bother. The muslim owners of the muslim cocks you’re sucking from sunup ’til sunset will happily do that for you. Best to bring your own Vaseline.

And we’ll laugh and laugh and laugh.

And then we’ll call it a “random and totally not related to any sort of religion attack” afterwards as you bleed to death.

You useless, pussy piece of shit.


If This is A “Pussy”, We’d Say We Need More of Them

We mentioned in a previous post that we found a Trump supporter’s accusation that Cruz is a “pussy” a bit harsh. Those were our words. We were trying to restrain our usual self. Uncharacteristically, we know, but still. We don’t want to alienate people who are just as pissed off as we are, even if our idea of a solution differs from theirs.

We’re still on the same team, and we’ll be damned if we’ll forget it and hand the GOPe a victory by letting them divide and conquer as per fucking usual.

And we had this memory of a perfect example of how Ted Cruz is anything but a “pussy”, only we couldn’t quite put our finger on a where it was. It’s not like there was only one, it’s just that we couldn’t quite pinpoint the perfect one. Fortunately, LC & IB Francis Porretto did our homework for us (as is so often the case) and provided us with the link.

Francis is a national treasure. I can’t count the times when we’ve had a thought in our head and he just crystallizes it for us in a way that makes us think “why didn’t we think of that?”

There’s a man, a lone piranha in a swimming pool full of GOPe sharks, calling Mitch McConnell out for what he is and always has been: A liar. A shameless, backstabbing, underhanded, amoral liar, right on the floor of the Senate. Openly, with cameras rolling, saying what every single one of us knew and had wished that somebody, anybody would actually have the balls to state out loud.

There he is, when he had the clear option to do what 99.9999999999999999% of previous “great hopes” had already done, which was to immediately suck on the teat of the Chamber of Commerce and betray every single promise they’d ever made to the people voting for them (hi there, Marco! Yes, we’re looking at you!) and secure a fat, rich, risk free future for himself and his family, openly pissing in their cereal and throwing away any hope of a sinecure that he might have otherwise had.

There he is, clearly articulating the frustration and anger of ordinary Americans who DON’T have millions to bribe politicians with, who DON’T have K Street lobbyists at their beck and call, making enemies of the entire GOPe when it would be so much easier for him to just go along and secure for himself a lifetime of riches on the backs of the hardworking Americans who voted for him. Like, say, Rubio.

That’s a “pussy?”

We need more “pussies”, then.


Better Disavow This Nutjob, Ted, and Right Quick, Too!

This was just brought to our attention by LC readerjp, G.L.O.R.

WASHINGTON — A controversial Christian evangelical leader whose endorsement is being proudly trumpeted by Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz works energetically to convert Jews to Christianity and has predicted that there will be a new period of concentration camps for Jews before the return of Jesus.

Mike Bickle is also notorious for having said that God sent Hitler to hunt Jews for not accepting Jesus as the messiah.

Bickle, the founder and director of the International House of Prayer, a Kansas City-based Pentecostal Christian missions organization, runs the Israel Mandate project, an effort to “mobilize an international prayer movement that would pray 24/7 for the nation of Israel to receive their Jewish Messiah, Yeshua (Jesus),” according to its website. The ministry hosts a regular livestream of such prayer for anyone to participate.

In public sermons over the years, Bickle has focused intensely on end-times prophesies, and has predicted that Jesus will not return until Jews embrace him as their Lord and savior. His website claims that “Jesus ‘bound’ Himself by His own prophecy, saying He would only come back and rule in Jerusalem when Israel’s leaders ask Him to reign as King over them.”

For Bickle, this is what explains Nazi Germany’s murder of more than six million Jews. In a 2011 sermon, Bickle cited a passage from Jeremiah 16:16 to elucidate the attempted extermination of European Jewry.

“The Lord says, ‘I’m going to give all 20 million of them the chance to respond to the fishermen. And I give them grace.; And he says, ‘And if they don’t respond to grace, I’m going to raise up the hunters.’ And the most famous hunter in recent history is a man named Adolf Hitler,” he told an audience.

Two things. We don’t know this source, but we’ve verified that Ted definitely did embrace the endorsement of this fruit cake when it came out and the nut job’s words definitely aren’t made up either.

Second, and more importantly, nobody controls who endorses him and nobody can know everything about an endorser at the time of the endorsement, although some vetting would be helpful.

That being said, that’s just about the most singularly insane thing we’ve ever heard, and we’ve heard quite a bit. Now, we don’t presume to know the mind of Our L-rd, but still… To state that Adolf fucking Hitler was an instrument of G-d sent to chastise the Jews for not being sufficiently willing to accept Jesus as the Messiah??? Seriously??? We guess this whole Genesis 12:3 was just G-d fucking around with us, huh? “I’ll bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you unless, of course, you don’t immediately embrace Jesus as the promised Messiah or I’ll send a crazy Austrian to march your children off to the gas chambers…”

We must have missed the last bit. Perhaps we should re-read the Old Testament (Torah, natch).

Sure, Jeremiah 16:16 (the Torah, natch), does mention sending fishers to fish the true believers and hunters to hunt down those who aren’t, but we don’t see any mention of Yeshua in there, nor even the mention of the Messiah, and it’s not like there’s a shortage of prophesies in that document. It’s the sort of thing that we think that H’shem would not have forgotten to leave at least a passing reference to, but perhaps we’re just too devoted to His infallibility. It’s not like He created the whole universe or anything, amirite?

Bottom line: A crazy, frothing fuckwad stating that Adolf FUCKING HITLER is the instrument of G-d sent to punish the unbelieving Jews, his Chosen People, remember?, is not the sort of thing, and we do mean it literally when we say “thing”, that we would want an endorsement from. And if we got one, we’d wrap it in broken glass, dip it in sulfuric acid and shove it up his arse so hard his uvula would be burning.

Oh… additional note: We’ve actually read Mein Kampf, and somebody who also thought that Adolf Hitler was a true instrument of Christianity was… Adolf Hitler.

We’re not sure anybody who agrees with that is somebody you ought to pay attention to.


Any Day Now…

Hed stolen from LC & IB Bill Quick:

FONTANA, Calif., Feb. 10 (UPI) — A team of scientists with California-based research outfit 21st Century Medicine has successfully frozen and recovered the brain of rabbit.

No news as to whether they’ve proceeded to put it back in Mitch McConnell’s head.


More Kibble

Return of the Superdelegates

“Superdelegates.” Remember those? Those are the “delegates” that Democrats use to make sure their preferred candidate always wins regardless of what the voters say in their sham “democratic” primaries, because why would the People’s Party give a shit about the people and their actual votes? Unlike normal delegates, the kind that get elected in real

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Careful What You Wish For…

We didn’t mention it at the time because it was hard for us to type after having punched numerous holes in every drywall we could find (our Imperial Palace now looks like a very large Swiss Cheese. Quite chic, actually), but it looks like the case of the notorious Prozi Prozecutors of Harris County, TX,

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The Fix is In…

OK, “only” about 40% of precincts reporting, but it looks pretty solid, according to AoSDD: DEMOCRATS Bernie Sanders 59,577 votes (–) 60.5% Hillary Clinton 37,750 votes (-21,827) 38.4% Other 1,103 votes (-58,474) 1.1% We don’t envy the Prozi voters. We thought we had it bad with “hold your nose” candidates, but they’re stuck with choosing

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“Pussy?” So What?

Via LC & IB Bill Quick. I watched several times the entire NSFW 1:53 clip of Trump calling Ted Cruz a p**sy for having constitutional qualms about waterboarding. It doesn’t get any better when repeated. The thing that most people are talking about is his use of the vulgarity, which is pretty lowlife stuff coming

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Hot Gas Outdo Themselves

Diving even deeper into the tank for mindless, globalist utopianism, putting up this load of drivel by one Allan Bourdius: I’ve got a challenge for you. “Try to read through the following incandescent bullshit without throwing up.” Challenge accepted. Reluctantly. Try to imagine: you and your family are living somewhere the rest of humanity seems

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But Let’s Not Be Beastly to the Muslims…

Via LC & IB Bill Quick: An Iraqi migrant has admitted to raping a ten year old boy in a Viennese swimming pool so ferociously that the boy had to be hospitalised for his injuries. The man said he knew it was wrong but couldn’t help himself as he hadn’t had sex in months. Police

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Older Chewing Bones

These are topics that are older and still have a little flavor left in them.

February 5th, 2016
Oh heck…

Comments No Comments »

February 5th, 2016
We Laughed and Laughed

Comments 2 Comments »

February 2nd, 2016
And Now, From the Stalinist Side of the Primaries

Comments 11 Comments »

February 1st, 2016
Cruz Wins!

Comments 7 Comments »

February 1st, 2016
With Pussies Like This One in Charge

Comments 13 Comments »

February 1st, 2016
Now You’re Really, Really Tempting Us

Comments 4 Comments »