Fresh Meat

You Idjits Just Live to Give Us Material to Work With, Don’t You?

Oh fer fuck’s sakes!

We tested bots like Siri and Alexa to see who would stand up to sexual harassment

Women have been made into servants once again. Except this time, they’re digital.

Apple’s Siri, Amazon’s Alexa, Microsoft’s Cortana, and Google’s Google Home peddle stereotypes of female subservience—which puts their “progressive” parent companies in a moral predicament.

People often comment on the sexism inherent in these subservient bots’ female voices, but few have considered the real-life implications of the devices’ lackluster responses to sexual harassment. By letting users verbally abuse these assistants without ramifications, their parent companies are allowing certain behavioral stereotypes to be perpetuated. Everyone has an ethical imperative to help prevent abuse, but companies producing digital female servants warrant extra scrutiny, especially if they can unintentionally reinforce their abusers’ actions as normal or acceptable.

No. Just… no.

Every single time His Majesty thinks you driveling imbeciles can’t possibly get any more stupid, you prove us wrong. Every. Single. Fucking. TIME!

Yes, we do apologize for our language. We forgot the trigger warning. On purpose.

No, dear LCs, these vacuous wombats did not write a joke article about what happened if you used questionable language when making a query to an algorithm, that might at least have been funny, they actually made a “serious study” of the responses from said AIs and the social implications thereof. Complete with graphs and statistics (to the extent that they extremely limited intellects managed to handle hard sciences like math) and all.

Number one: You can’t ruddy well “sexually abuse” an algorithm. That one should be pretty obvious to anybody with an IQ that is, at the very least, measurable. At least not at the stage of “AI development” that we’re currently at, which is roughly at “none at all.” We’ve got the “artificial” down pat, but we’re still sorely lacking in the “intelligence” department. One out of two ain’t bad? It sure as Dis’ sagging tits is if you’re going to argue “abuse.”

Number two: What would make you dried out puritan husks happy? If Siri called the police to report your “harassment?” Felony sexual harassment of a phone? Anybody applying for a job in any company we owned with that on your rap sheet would land you a job instantaneously. With a mandatory psych evaluation thrown in. Just to make sure you’re not a Prozi trans-something weirdo. Surely, marrying your iPhone can’t be far off. Looking over the braindead, cultish devotion shown by Apple fan boys, it’s already here for all intents and purposes, it just hasn’t been legally sanctioned yet.

Number three: There is no number three. We need a drink.


One of Der Fubar’s Führerbefehle Hardest Hit as Glowbull Wormening Scam Takes One to the Nuts

President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Tuesday rolling back Obama-era policies to curb planet-warming greenhouse gas emissions, a senior White House official said.

The order, called the “Energy Independence Executive Order,” begins a review of former President Barack Obama’s signature program to deal with climate change, the Clean Power Plan, which limited greenhouse gas emissions from power plants.

It’s a glorious day. Another of Princess Precious Snowflake’s diktats shoved under the bus by Executive Order.

The order instructs all agencies to identify all policies that “serve as obstacles or impediments to energy production,” said the official, who spoke on background. The White House provided no timeline for implementing the order, but said that EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt was “ready to hit the ground running.”

Go for it, Scott! We’re pulling for ya! Let’s get Americans back to work, shall we?

The executive order takes other measures to protect the coal industry, such as instructing the Department of the Interior to lift a temporary ban on coal leasing on federal lands that the Obama administration put in place last year.

Another of the old regime’s diktats. Splat!

The order scraps federal guidances instructing agencies to factor climate change into policymaking,

Well that’s good. Aren’t we always told about the wall of separation between church and state?

and to disband a team tasked with calculating the “social cost of carbon.”

Most likely through extended vacations, ahem, seminars in exotic locales, trying to come up with fantasy figures in between mai-tais and lobster fests.

Trump’s executive order will likely kneecap the federal government’s most important policy for reducing carbon emissions. Doing so would also hamper U.S. efforts to meet the commitments made more than a year ago in the 195-country Paris Agreement ? the first global climate deal to include the U.S. and China, the world’s biggest polluters.

No problem, since the Paris “Agreement” was never ratified, so it’s utterly invalid anyway.

Repealing those rules could prove expensive and deadly, costing the U.S. economy up to $600 billion by removing critical incentives to increase energy efficiency, according to the research firm Energy Innovation.

“Could”, “might”, “some say”, here we go again. Ah, HuffPo, trying to convince us that increasing employment and energy production along with lowering costs is somehow going to cost the economy over half a trillion dollars. You’re so funny when you’re having a tantrum.

The CCP’s repeal could lead to billions of tons of carbon being released into the atmosphere, which in turn could contribute to more than 120,000 premature deaths, according to a writeup of the study in Forbes.

It could lead to billions of tons of plant food in the atmosphere (we’re sure the plants, at least, don’t disapprove) and it could, based on yet another hocus pocus “model” that presumes from the outset that babies are croaking left, right and center due to plant food in the air (oddly enough, we don’t ever seem to hear about the massive drops in premature deaths resulting from the past 8 years of War on Energy)… Could, could and maybe.

Then again, it also could not.

What we know is that unemployment and/or inability to keep your home adequately cool or warm rarely has a beneficial effect on life expectancy, but who gives a fuck about facts when there are crystal ball predictions based on the chants of a bogus cult to go with instead?

Of course, we now enter the next phase with hordes of Prozi lawyers trying to keep energy scarce and expensive because, you know, keeping the proles unemployed and freezing in the dark is how you “look out for the little guy.”


Helping Hand for European Rebels?

So, the other day we were reading an article and watching some YouTube videos about the rampant thought policing and repression of free speech in EUnuchistan, people being arrested for having unapproved opinions (because apparently that’s how you say “free speech” in EUnuch), having the po-po show up at their home for having said DoublePlusUngood things on a YouTube vid and so on. By the way, we should add that the latter was made possible by YouTube/Google (Don’t Be Evil, remember that joke?) collaborating with the EUnuch fascist governments, helping them track down the YouTuber.

Which got us to thinking.

Hey! What if somebody, we swear we’re not thinking about anybody in particular, no, not at all, somebody who lived in, say, the US, were to, hypothetically of course, make up an extra email addy and start a YouTube channel and then, completely coincidentally and out of the blue, happen to share the login and password for said YouTube account with some German person? Or French, Dutch, Danish, English or whatever else.

Everything (provided the hypothetical German knew how to use a proxy) associated with that account would lead straight back to our hypothetical U.S. citizen with really piss poor login/password hygiene, wouldn’t it?

And wouldn’t it just be a laff and a ‘arf if, for example, that rancid Stasi cunt, Angela Merkel, were to send a subpoena to a U.S. ISP, demanding information about the identity of some German guy on a YouTube video that got her fetid fuck flaps all tied up in knots?

Just thinking out loud.

We can assure any European readers that any attempt from any EUnuch fascist regime to get any information about YOU guys out of yours truly would be met with derisive laughter and a selection of the most colorful and imaginative invective that His Imperial Majesty knows of, if we bothered to respond at all.


Let the Infighting Continue…

Oh, the laughs, the side-splitting, horrendously painful laughs (thanks to LC & IB Bill Quick):

In the weeks approaching the Women’s March on Washington, a woman in Los Angeles accidentally created what became the most popular accessory among protesters: a pussy hat.

Allowing her to symbolically have her wife’s pussy on her face 24/7.

While clever, Suh’s pussy hats set the tone for a march that would focus acutely on genitalia at the expense of the transgender community. Signs like “Pussy power,” “Viva la Vulva” and “Pussy grabs back” all sent a clear and oppressive message to trans women, especially: having a vagina is essential to womanhood.

Never saw this one coming. No sir, not at all!

(We suck at lying, we know that).

“The main reason I decided not to go was because of the pussy hats,” 28-year-old Jade Lejeck said in an interview Sunday night. “I get that they’re a response to the ‘grab them by the pussy’ thing, but I think some people fixated on it the wrong way.”

Lejeck, a trans woman mentally ill man from Modesto, California, said the hats signaled to her him that there would be other trans-exclusionary messages at the women’s marches.

We had to fix that a bit in order to make it not insane. What does “trans-exclusionary” mean, you ask? Well…

She He expected her his local march to have its fair share of trans-exclusionary radical feminists, known as TERFs. As Lejeck described it, there are two categories of TERFS: One is the accidental TERF — “the ones who have signs that equate womanhood with having a vagina,” she he said. The other category, Lejeck explained, includes feminists who argue trans women are actually men in disguise trying to infiltrate their spaces.

Our head hurts.

Our head and our sides, but mostly our sides.

You think that’s insane? Ha!

For 20-year-old Sam Forrey, a nonbinary severely mentally ill student in Ohio, and their his/her/its? girlboyfriend Lilian McDaniel, who is trans a man, there had been other warning signs that the Women’s March might be a dangerous space for them.

Taking their pants off would seem to be dangerous for them. If nothing else, then due to the terminal confusion that it might cause.

Since legally McDaniel‘s sex is still male a man, she he worried that if she he were to be arrested she he would be placed in a men’s jail, a concern she he said always lingers at the back of her his mind.

…and now we have White Out all over our screen, dammit!

A friend told McDaniel about a protester they’d seen marching with a two-foot-tall hand-knit uterus. She He was glad she he stayed home.

We’d have to agree that a two foot tall uterus might be freakishly scary. With emphasis on the “freak” part.

And now we need to lie down. With a big bottle of vodka nearby.


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You Can’t Professionalize Unless You Federalize

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“Oh No, It’s Going GRRRRRRREAT!”

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It’s Working

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Piss off, Pali

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Time to Strip Nekkid and Frighten the Poor Neighbors

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