The Coming of the Ogabe, as Told by His Own Divine Self

Really, now, Reichsführer Ogabe is beginning to beclown himself with his narcissistic personality disorder to a degree where you almost feel like you ought to pity the poor, insecure man child.

ALMOST.

The Whitehouse.gov site keeps biographies of all of our presidents and, up until now, they’re pretty much set in stone once they’re written.

Short, concise summaries of past presidents and what they did, a useful reference work for those wondering what each president was most known for.

Up until now.

In the pathologically self-conscious universe of (p)Resident Barack Narcissus Hussein Ogabe, that just won’t do. So he has decided to inject his own holy self into every single one of those biographies going all the way back to Calvin Coolidge, with the exception of Gerald “what’s his name again?” Ford. Not surprising, really, considering that the idiotic, rambling, incompetent, socialist fool hasn’t accomplished a single thing in his life, but still… There HAS to be limits to how much narcissism one ought to swallow without projectile vomiting. Remember the Big Me™, aka Billy Blowjob Clinton, who couldn’t utter a single sentence without relating it to his own greatness? A rank amateur compared to Kim Jong-Il, er, Barack Hussein Ogabe. An example of his creative edits, but do read the whole thing (just make sure that you have anti-emetics close at hand):

President Harry S. Truman: “In a 1946 letter to the National Urban League, President Truman wrote that the government has ‘an obligation to see that the civil rights of every citizen are fully and equally protected.’ He ended racial segregation in civil service and the armed forces in 1948. Today the Obama Administration continues to strive toward upholding the civil rights of its citizens, repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, allowing people of all sexual orientations to serve openly in our armed forces.” [Ogabe edits emphasized -- Emp.M.]

Yes, that IS only one example. Every single achievement of past presidents, however dubious, is somehow linked to the Coming of The One™ now.

We’re only surprised that Eisenhower’s entry doesn’t include a footnote explaining that whereas Dwight did plan and perform the largest seaborne invasion in history and liberated all of Western Europe from socialism, it was really only a precursor to Teh Ogabessiah™ personally rappelling from a mortally wounded Blackhawk helicopter into Pockeestahn to personally strangle Osama bin Laden with his own guts, but we’re sure that will be there as soon as Sheriff Biden gets off his psychotropics for long enough to power up the word processor.

You see, according to Barack Hussein Messiah Ogabe, all of human history was nothing but a warmup act to his victorious coming.

We wish we were kidding.

We live in North Korea now. Fortunately, we have a shot, ONE SHOT, at voting ourselves off that particular island in November.

USE IT.

Thatisall.

Categories: Stuttering Clusterfuck Of A Miserable Failure, Useless Swine  |  Tags:  |  20 Comments »

The Inevitability of The Inevitable

Sooner or later we male types all manage to reach an age where things get a bit more ummm…complicated. Perhaps it’s a bit of an ache rolling out of the rack in the morning, or frequent cat naps or any one of quite a few things that you didn’t use to do. One tends to ignore it, hoping it will go away but it doesn’t. Sometimes it gets a bit worse or yet another bit of ‘off’ of your normal self shows up. Since we’re all Visigothy, Visigoth warriors this just can’t be happening, not to me, not now. The HELL with this we’ll psychologically deny the obvious, but we’ve hit that dreaded middle-age and no amount of denial can change it. Sooner or later you’ll have a medical problem (hopefully minor) and the doctor will be talking to you about things that happen to those ‘older’ guys. Congratulations, you’ve joined the club. Does this mean we should ditch the wife, buy a Ferrari and find a 23-year old yoga instructor? Fortunately for the vast, vast majority of us we truly love our spouses and couldn’t afford the Ferrari’s insurance let alone the car itself. Besides if that middle-age bugaboo takes you in a certain direction that 23-year old might not be all that happy with your boudoir prowess. What to do? This could suck or maybe really, really suck. Fortunately there’s a LOT of medical science and ongoing research into how to at least attenuate some of the effects of aging. Suck it up, get an appointment for a full physical with complete lab work. The labs should include PSA, total testosterone and free testosterone. It’s really important to have both testosterone levels measured. The pituitary gland attempts to maintain the total testosterone level, but a large percentage of this is bound testosterone (about 99%), while the free testosterone is what is active to get the job done. If you find your levels are low, there are a number of treatments available to restore your levels. Androgel is one of the more frequently used options, providing you don’t have any of the contraindications and they have a quick little quiz to see if you might have Low T. Of course, as much as we love it….NOT!!!!….the physical should include a finger wave, checking that old prostate walnut. Just make sure your doc takes off the Caligula ring and does NOT have both his hands on your shoulders, during the exam. Another nuisance middle-age symptom is an enlarged prostate that interferes with urination. It doesn’t have to be all that enlarged to cause problems. If you find it takes 10-minutes to get started you might wanna get that checked out too. Why did I decide to post this? Because it can be a difficult and embarrassing thing to talk about with your spouse and especially the guys. There’s no need to be stuck feeling like a middle-aged guy before your time. It just takes some effort on your part to get the proper medical care. Your doc wants to keep you healthy, but dealing with some of these issues can fall by the wayside especially if you have other problems. You just don’t necessarily have to accept that inevitability quite yet.

Good Luck and Carry On-

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Sleepy Saturday Open Thread

Not feeling up to anything these days, really, but the very least I can do is to throw up an Open Thread for all of the stuff YOU might want to talk about.

Normal services will resume whenever G-d wills it.

Thatisall.

Categories: Open Thread  |  Tags:  |  22 Comments »

Ouch! (Updated)

Update; LC Rurik sends us this.

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At Least Now We Know Why “Gutsy” Ogabe Didn’t Want to Go to North Carolina All of a Sudden

Since the state’s proposed ban on gay “marriage” passed in a landslide. Funny, though. Right after Sheriff Senile Biden put his boss in a pickle by coming out in favor of gay marriage while Reichsführer Ogabe is still “thinking about it” until after the election where he’ll have more “flexibility”, Ogabe’s taxpayer-funded reelection campaign to

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Categories: Good News, Stuttering Clusterfuck Of A Miserable Failure  |  Tags:  |  79 Comments »

RINO Dick Retired

We may not be all that enthused (we nominate this for British Understatement of the Year™) that Mittens ObamneyCare is almost certainly going to be the Shit Sandwich of 2012, but at least we can rejoice that Americans not dedicated to “losing more slowly” are having an effect on the composition of the upcoming inhabitants

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Categories: Good News, Politics  |  Tags:  |  18 Comments »