We’ve noticed a certain war-weariness in some quarters on the rational side of the political divide. Not like ours, we’re just sick of pissing into the wind, yet we can’t resist the urge to pull out our giant python on occasion for another whiff regardless. But we’re not done. This particular fight has only one side leaving the arena, and we’ll be damned if we’ll be the one left dead on the floor because we forfeited. At least die fighting, if die we must.

No, it’s the kind of “oh noes, the god-Emperor has not reversed half a century (at least) of corruption, socialist march through the institutions and ossified Imperial bureaucracy yet, and he’s had all of two YEARS to do it! What a hopeless failure he’s been!”

We’ll be painfully honest here, we’ve had the same thoughts on occasion, because it’s certainly not because there aren’t any valid criticisms of the current leader of our nation. Where’s the damn wall? What about the swamp? Any draining being done? Where are the indictments? You name it, we’ve thought it too.

Of course, what we’ve also thought whenever we get too angry is “so what would it look like if we were now in the third year of a Cankles Presidency? Better? That what you want?”

You think it’s disappointing now, we invite you to spend a few hours contemplating THAT!

Bottom line is this: He may not have won every single one of the battles, although we’d dare say that he’s accomplished more in two years than the entirety of the “True Conservatives” in this nation have accomplished over the past 40 years, but do you fire a general who fights and wins 3 times out of 4 because he lost that last time? Only if you have a replacement ready who’s guaranteed to have a better batting average, or you’re a flaming idiot.

You don’t kick your star batter with a batting average of .750 off the team because he whiffs a game. Unless you’re an idiot or have somebody ready who is guaranteed to bat .800 at least.

So, those of you ready to throw in the towel and just leave the field to the enemy in 2020 or who feel that the single most successful American President in modern history needs to be given the pink slip: Who’s your star batter?

Because we promise you now that if you have some replacement who is guaranteed to do better, we’ll throw ourselves completely behind him and tell the Donald to hit the road, no hesitation. We just need to know who your Alexander is and, of course, you need to convince us. You need to convince us that he not only holds the right positions, but, more importantly, that he’ll fight for them and not give a flying fuck what the opposition or the EneMedia will say about him. You need to convince us that he’ll actually enjoy to piss in their faces and do whatever the fuck he set out to do.

We need a fighter. Not some clown who checks off all the right boxes and then curls up in the fetal position the moment somebody calls him a mean name or the moment he thinks the enemy is about to fight back and fight back dirty. We don’t need Montgomery, we need Patton.

So if you have somebody in mind, let us know. We’re all ears.

We can’t run because we’re neither a commie nor a muslim, nor can we say that we’d do a better job, but we can guaran-dam-tee you that our amounts of fucks to give about the enemy’s opinion of us is below zero. And if there is a person in all of history who would enjoy watching his enemy destroyed, pillaged, murdered and mutilated more than we would, we’d like to know who he is.

We’re not in the running, however, so we’ll have to settle for second best.

But now’s not the time to go wobbly.


By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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