Confusion reigned as hordes of “voters” wearing “Green Party” lapel pins stormed voting booths, stealing votes that the Prozi People’s Party desperately needed in the OH-12 special election.

Expert intelligence analyst Alyssa Milano, however, was not fooled by their laughable disguises, noticing immediately their suspicious accents as well as the trail of empty vodka bottles, sunflower seed shells and drunken renditions of “Rossiya, svyashchennaya nasha derzhava” left in their wake.

At the time of this writing she was not absolutely certain, but strongly suspected that she’d spotted an elderly, bare-chested gentleman with a receding hairline and a mischievous grin earlier, riding a bear.

Stay tuned…


By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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