Because Warrior King Ogabe bin Gutsy al-Xerxes is stumping around in Texas trying to gin up the vote.

Hello, El Paso! It’s great to be back here with all of you, and to be back in the Lone Star State. I love coming to Texas.

You should come to Dallas then. It’s quite lovely. Particularly during the month of November.

Even the welcomes are bigger down here. So, to show my appreciation, I wanted to give a big policy speech… outdoors… right in the middle of a hot, sunny day.

I hope everyone is wearing sunscreen.

A Texan? With sunscreen? What IS that thing you call “sunscreen” anyway?

Now, about a week ago, I delivered the commencement address at Miami Dade Community College, one of the most diverse schools in the nation. The graduates were proud that their class could claim heritage from 181 countries around the world.

If only they could be proud of their grades as well. But, hey, to some people actual accomplishments mean nothing. Such as every single one of the clowns who voted for your scrawny, carpet-bagging, damnyankee ass.

Many of the students were immigrants themselves, coming to America with little more than the dreams of their parents and the clothes on their backs.

How good to tell us that, bless your heart. Us Texians of the Republic of Texas would have never known about such a thing if it hadn’t been for you.

A handful had discovered only in adolescence or adulthood that they were undocumented. But they worked hard and gave it their all, and they earned those diplomas.

Unlike their parents, who had done absolutely nothing to earn their residency, other than breaking the law of the nation that they wanted to claim as their home. Good for the kids.

At the ceremony, 181 flags – one for every nation represented – was marched across the stage.

Giving you ample time to double-check that your teleprompter was working properly, we’re sure. Because we all know how sad a spectacle it is when it malfunctions and you have to search your empty skull for things to say.Each was applauded by the graduates and relatives with ties to those countries.

But then, the last flag – the American flag – came into view. And the room erupted. Every person in the auditorium cheered. Yes, their parents or grandparents – or the graduates themselves – had come from every corner of the globe. But it was here that they had found opportunity, and had a chance to contribute to the nation that is their home.

And quite a few of them had even come here legally!

It was a reminder of a simple idea, as old as America itself. E pluribus, unum. Out of many, one. We define ourselves as a nation of immigrants – a nation that welcomes those willing to embrace America’s precepts.

Yes. WE do. You don’t. You and your National Socialist Democrat Workers’ Party define us as a mosaic of ethnicities to be exploited for electoral gain. Divide and conquer and all that. Oh, and it’s not “out of many, Teh One™”, as you seem to believe.

That’s why millions of people, ancestors to most of us, braved hardship and great risk

Not to mention braving the legal requirements…

That’s the promise of this country – that anyone can write the next chapter of our story. It doesn’t matter where you come from; what matters is that you believe in the ideals on which we were founded; that you believe all of us are equal and deserve the freedom to pursue happiness.

…and that you believe in following, honoring and respecting the laws of this country. You missed that bit.

In embracing America, you can become American.

So by rejecting it and all that she stands for…? We guess we just found final and conclusive evidence, in the shape of your own confession, that you’re not really an American.

And that enriches all of us.

Yet at the same time, we are standing at the border today because we also recognize that being a nation of laws goes hand in hand with being a nation of immigrants.

That paragraph should be chiseled in granite as the greatest non sequitur of all time. Can somebody explain to us, please, how the concepts of being a nation of laws and a nation of immigrants goes, by necessity, hand in hand? Are you saying that no nation of immigrants has any disrespect of the law or are you saying that no nation respecting its own laws can exist without immigrants? Or are you just mindlessly spewing blather that you don’t even understand because it appears in scrolling text on TOTUS?

This, too, is our heritage. This, too, is important. And the truth is, we’ve often wrestled with the politics of who is and who isn’t allowed to enter this country.

Yes we have. More specifically, Congress has wrestled with this. Congress is what we call our “legislative body”, we’re not sure you’re familiar with the term since digging out your educational transcripts have proven difficult enough that it could feed another three seasons of the X-Files, and they “legislate”, please tell us to show down, God King Ogabe, if you’re having trouble keeping up, as to who and who cannot enter the country and, more importantly, stay as citizens.

At times, there has been fear and resentment directed toward newcomers, particularly in periods of economic hardship.

And if there’s one thing that socialists like you, Ogabe, know about, it’s periods of economic hardship as you are so very, very good at bringing them about. As a matter of fact, you’ve never, not once in the history of mankind, managed to bring about anything else.

And because these issues touch on deeply held convictions – about who we are as a people, about what it means to be an American – these debates often elicit strong emotions.

That’s one reason it’s been so difficult to reform our broken immigration system. When an issue is this complex and raises such strong feelings, it’s easier for politicians to defer the problem until after the next election.

While some politicians prefer to do absolutely nothing about those issues while they have the power and deferring them, instead, to times when they realize that they’re lower than dog shit in the polls and a re-election campaign is coming up so they can make loads of promises that they have no intentions of following up on once they’re safely re-elected.

The elections of 2008 and the period following them up until 2010 spring to mind.

And there’s always a next election. So we’ve seen a lot blame and politics and ugly rhetoric.

Yes we have. For one thing, thanks to you, Ogabe, the word “racist” means nothing anymore other than “somebody who disagrees with the God King Ogabe.”

Today, there are an estimated 11 million undocumented immigrants in the United States. Some crossed the border illegally. Others avoid immigration laws by overstaying their visas. Regardless of how they came, the overwhelming majority of these folks are

…here illegally and thus illegal immigrants, as opposed to “undocumented immigrants.” Much like the guy who supplied you, Ogabe the Magnificent, with coke in your formative years, was a dope dealer as opposed to an “undocumented pharmacist.”

just trying to earn a living and provide for their families. But they’ve broken the rules, and have cut in front of the line. And the truth is, the presence of so many illegal immigrants makes a mockery of all those who are trying to immigrate legally.

Indeed. We can say that as one of “those who immigrated legally”, much like the majority of the Latinos you’re trying to pander to. If you think that you’re going to gain any more traction with them, good people who like us jumped through every hoop and paid every fee we needed to and still counted ourselves blessed to finish the race, then you’re sadly mistaken, you peasant, subversive piece of scrawny arse.

Also, because undocumented immigrants live in the shadows, they’re vulnerable to unscrupulous businesses that skirt taxes, pay workers less than the minimum wage, or cut corners with health and safety.

Those would be the same businesses that you and your NSDWP refuse to make accountable for their actions, refuse to give the tools to screen their employees and refuse to hit down hard on when they’re caught with their fingers in the cookie jar.

this puts companies who follow those rules, and Americans who rightly demand the minimum wage or overtime or just a safe place to work, at an unfair disadvantage.

Well, we’re just called “racists” by you and your NSDWP goons, and we’re getting used to that.

Think about it. Over the past decade, even before the recession, middle class families were struggling to get by as costs went up but incomes didn’t. We’re seeing this again with gas prices.

Thanks to you and your NSDWP.

Well, one way to strengthen the middle class is to reform our immigration system, so that there is no longer a massive underground economy that exploits a cheap source of labor while depressing wages for everyone else. I want incomes for middle class families to rise again. I want prosperity in this country to be widely shared. That’s why immigration reform is an economic imperative.

Millions of unskilled workers flooding the labor market is going to drive unemployment down?

Wow! If a life form dumb enough to believe that actually exists, it has to be mono-cellular.

In the years since, “borders first” has been a common refrain, even among those who previously supported comprehensive immigration reform.

Well, over the past two years we have answered those concerns. Under Secretary Napolitano’s leadership, we have strengthened border security beyond what many believed was possible. They wanted more agents on the border. Well, we now have more boots on the ground on the southwest border than at any time in our history. The Border Patrol has 20,000 agents – more than twice as many as there were in 2004, a build up that began under President Bush and that we have continued.

They wanted a fence. Well, that fence is now basically complete.

Is it, now? Five years ago they passed legislation to build 700 miles worth of fence along a border three times that long. Under Ogabe, 4 miles have been added to that fence, making for a grand total of about 36 miles.

So 5% of a fence originally scheduled to cover 30% of the border, that’s less than 1% of the border for those of you who can’t operate a calculator (Ogabe voters), amounts to “basically complete?”

So, we have gone above and beyond what was requested by the very Republicans who said they supported broader reform as long as we got serious about enforcement.

If you accept that “above and beyond” is equal to “about 1%” but, then again, what do you expect from an affirmative action graduate who can’t even prove that he attended the colleges he claims to have graduated from?

But even though we’ve answered these concerns, I suspect there will be those who will try to move the goal posts one more time. They’ll say we need to triple the border patrol. Or quadruple the border patrol. They’ll say we need a higher fence to support reform.

Maybe they’ll say we need a moat. Or alligators in the moat.

You in the moat would suffice. With both your feet cast in concrete. As long as the moat is deep enough. Oh, and if we can throw Lindsey Lohan Grahamcrackers in there with you, you’ve got a deal.

And the fuckhead goes on and on, but we can’t stand anymore.

Really, Ogabe, you went to fucking Texas to try to drive a wedge between Latinos and Caucasians? Did you even bother wasting FIVE minutes studying the history of our Republic in between doing blowjobs for coke when you were pretending to get an education? Our Republic would have never been formed if it hadn’t been for our Latino brothers and sisters who were just as sick and tired of Mexico’s rule as we were, we couldn’t have done it without them, many of their families go back further than us late-coming whites did and we built it together. And we all know it. And if you think that those justifiably proud families who built the Republic of Texas, who bled and died for her because they wanted to be free and NOT because of some Alinskyite Marxist load of bullshit, side by side with their “gringo” brothers and sisters, are going to stand up for the “rights” of a bunch of late-coming freeloaders and your fucking regime who has done all it can to make their businesses unprofitable thanks to YOUR inflation and YOUR “skyrocketing energy prices” that you liked to brag about before the OgabeMedia put the lid on it, then you’re fucking deluding yourself.

We were a Republic before we graciously allowed the Union to join us.

We can become a Republic again.

And you, YOU can go fuck yourself, you maricon pendejo!


By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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