At least the neverending primary is finally over, and we may all be grateful for that.

As to the result? That depends on who you are, we suppose. His Imperial Majesty didn’t get the candidate he wanted, but we have to admit that we’re a great deal less heartbroken about it today than we would have been 6 months ago. Cruz is still a great conservative, regardless of butthurt protestations to the contrary, he just needs to figure out how to be so in a way that actually connects with the people he wants to reach out to.

Rule number one when you’re trying to reach somebody: Try actually reaching them.

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: It doesn’t matter how much you have all of the right opinions if nobody hears them because your presentation puts them to sleep five minutes in.

Also, if you’re running for office, it pays to talk about the stuff that actually matters to the people you’re trying to reach. If people are broke, unemployed, worried about hordes of barbarian savages invading their neighborhoods and blowing themselves up in malls and watching their jobs go to illegal immigrants or sweat shops abroad, they’re not very likely to be overly impressed by how much you’ve memorized Hayek, von Mises and Friedman.

If people are fed up to their back teeth with thought police zampolits terrorizing them if they dare speak openly, they’re not likely to be blown away by carefully vetted, focus group tested sermons signifying absolutely nothing.

And so on and so forth, we’re sure you get the drift.

We suppose we could say that we were surprised by the outcome of this primary but, truth be told, we weren’t.

It was clear that there was only one contestant out of the 17, 16?, 235? who was actually trying to win and who actually had something to say that anybody had an interest in listening to. Anybody outside of the Beltway and/or outside the vanishingly small clique of political junkies like ourself, that is.

And that matters in an election year like this one has been.

The American people are bloody sick and tired of being ruled by a corrupt pile of parasitical vermin in DC who will promise them the moon to get elected and then, immediately, turn around and piss them in the face. As a consequence, ANY sort of trying to win through “politics as usual” will raise red flags all over the place among the electorate because they, we, have heard it all before and it has always, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME, ended with another batch of bloodsucking, lying, venal, corrupt parasites elbowing up to the trough while we get left with a sore arsehole and a huge bill.

The people were, and are, ready for something entirely different, really different, and they voted for it good and hard.

All the other 16 suckweasels, any one of them, would have had to do to puncture the balloon would be to grab one or more of the issues that it was abundantly clear that we lowly voters actually give a flying fuck about and run with it. But they couldn’t do that, now could they? Nooo… That would mean their precious selves having to lower themselves to the level of the unwashed, ungrateful, ignorant voters, and if there’s one thing they won’t do, it’s that.

It’s simply not done, old chap.

They’ll happily mortgage the futures of our descendants to the 50th generation, jump into bed with terrorists, race hustlers, tinpot dictators and even Progressive Socialist Democrats, but spend just one minute trying to care about their own countrymen, raped, ravaged and persecuted for decades… Nope. Can’t do that.

Except one did, and once he did and nobody else followed suit, the outcome was pretty much a foregone conclusion.

Is it a “disaster for the GOP and conservatism?”

Don’t make us laugh. That train left the station back in ’88 when George HW “Read My Lips” Bush moved into the White House and started selling out everything his predecessor had built. Don’t pin that one on Donald Trump, because that particular house was burned to the ground long before he entered the race.

“Worst” case scenario is that he burns down the sham the GOPe replaced it with and pisses in the ashes and, try as we might, we can’t really say honestly that seeing the smoldering remains of that whorehouse defiled is a Bad Thing™.

Best case scenario? Who knows? We, unlike the multitudes of prognosticators of Doom™ springing up all over the place these days, certainly don’t.

At the end of the day, it is what it is and we have what we have. The facts on the ground aren’t going to change no matter how much excitable hysterics throw temper tantrums and cover themselves with ashes while tearing out their hair, so we suggest that we all pour ourselves a nice big cup of calm the fuck down and see where this leads us.

The people finally found its voice and somebody who cared enough to listen. About fucking time too. It’s not the people’s fault that nobody else ever gave enough of a fuck about them to bend over and grab the votes who could have been theirs for the taking.

Also, pro-tip to #NeverTrumpers: We understand your frustrations, we really do, but if you’re trying to win people back to your side, calling them cousin-humping, knuckle-dragging, cretinous Nazis on continuous loop is probably not the strategy you want to go with. Just putting it out there…

One thing is for sure: Business As Usual is well and truly dead.

And good riddance to it as well. May it and its proponents burn in hell everlasting.


By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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