Fresh Meat

Old but one we can all smile at

One sunny day in January, 2017, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama. ”The Marine looked at the man and said, “Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here. ”The old man said, “Okay,” and walked away.

The following day the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama. ”The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here. ”The man thanked him and again just walked away. The third day the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.” The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?

”The old man looked at the Marine and said, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.” The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, “See you tomorrow, Sir!”

To which all i can say is:


Trump to CNN: Shut the fuck up

Watch this

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A thing of beauty.

About bloody time that CNN was called on their BS, it’s about time the LameStream Media™ got a good swift kick. No one, anywhere, can ever argue that the average person has had it up to HERE with their slant, bias and spin.

Thats the message.

We are sick to fucking DEATH of you.

So tell the truth, cut the crap, cut the bias..and maybe, one day, we might trust you.

Just not for the next fifty years.

Today’s Lesson in Logic, and Other Stuff

Or “how His Imperial Majesty evaluates any and all ProgMedia stories involving ‘anonymous sources within the intelligence community.’”

We won’t go into all of the back and forth about Russians “hacking the election” because that’s just plain nonsense. Were they behind the Wikileaks infodump? Possibly. We don’t know that, regardless of what Assange says. He’s saying that he didn’t receive it from the Russians, and that’s most likely true, as far as he’s concerned. Because he wouldn’t know it if he did receive it from them. Unless they, for reasons unfathomable to normal people, wanted him to know.

But they are most definitely “hacking” in this country. As are the Chinese, the Saudis, the Iranians and the Germans, for that matter. Everybody out there are. Unless they’re idiots. Because we’re doing it too. You don’t gather information that you need, but that other parties would rather you don’t have, by walking up to them and asking politely.

Remember when Frau Merkel was outraged, outraged that our operatives had been listening in on them? Until, that is, it turned out that they’d been listening in on us as well. Everybody does it. That’s not news, unless you’re two years old or have the IQ of a rutabaga.

It doesn’t mean that we should shrug it off, we definitely shouldn’t, and we need to get better, much better, at keeping The Other Guys from doing it to us. ALL of The Other Guys, not just Russia.

Say, does anybody recall Ofuckhead’s sanctions and diplomat expulsions when the ChiComs hacked the OPM and grabbed the data of millions of American service members? No? Why is that, we wonder? Oh, that’s right. They didn’t embarrass the fuck out of a ProgNazi queen bee. And, besides, one socialist to another. Professional courtesy and all that.

But it’s not news. And they most certainly did NOT “hack the election.” If they had, if they’d been capable of it, Felonia von Pantsuit would have won in a landslide. They (assuming that they had anything to do with it, which they might, even though any 8-year-old could have “hacked” the DNC in between World of Tanks matches) already had her and her party utterly discredited and humiliated, hung out to dry for the corrupt, lying, sleazy scumbags that they are, so what possible reason could they, given their own national interest, have for NOT making her win?

Nobody has benefited more from the past 8 years of unmitigatedly disastrous and failed Odunderhead foreign “policy” than Putin and Russia. Out of chaos rises opportunities for others to step in and fill the vacuum, and the only vacuum stronger than the U.S. “foreign policy” of the past 8 years is the one between O-lick’em-and-stick-em-bama’s comically enormous ears. If they had a choice, they’d be IDIOTS to not opt for at least four more years of the same.

So no, they didn’t. More likely, if they were behind the DNC hacks, they did it because they expected her to win, no matter what, and wanted to steal a march on the upcoming administration by discrediting it before it had even been sworn it. Didn’t quite work out that way, though.

So back to the bit about how we evaluate stories by the ProgMedia involving anonymous “sources” within the intelligence community:

In those cases, there are only two possibilities:

1) There are no “sources within the intelligence community”, in which case any and all stories mentioning them can and should be immediately disregarded or

2) They really exist, in which case our vaunted “intelligence community” is as leaky as a sieve AFTER 8 loads of buckshot, in which case they’re a fucking disgrace, a national security risk, and should be nuked from orbit, every last motherfarking one of them, then rebuilt from the ground up.

We, personally, would much rather that 2) is not the answer, not to mention that we have a great deal of respect for those people and their importance to our nation’s security, but those ARE the only two options. Fortunately, 1) is the safer bet, since we all know by now what “according to anonymous sources” in a “news” story means. It means “all that follows is unsourced, utter BS that we just made up on the fly.”

But we suppose 2) could be possible. If so, it’s our own fault for not being serious about intelligence and who we share it with. Flapping your gums if you have a clearance to access the most secret and potentially damaging information that we have needs to be punished. And no, losing your clearance and getting a book deal and movie rights for being “courageous” is NOT “punishment.” You need to be identified, located and destroyed. Utterly. You need to disappear, never to be heard of or remembered again. First, to eliminate the threat that you pose and, second, to encourage other potentially loose-lipped traitors to zip their pie holes and keep mum.

Otherwise we’d be better of with NO intelligence community.


UPDATE: Oops. Looks like we were a bit too optimistic about the vaunted professionalism of our intelligence community. Obviously, somebody couldn’t keep his lips zipped about a meeting having taken place since the only ones who knew it had even happened were in the meeting. With clearances.

Somebody needs to “disappear.”

Careful With That, Analpundit, You’re Going to Go Blind (UPDATED)

From fellow Old Guarder Bill Quick, who does selfless work diving into Analpundit of Hot Flatulence’s masturbatory fantasies about Trump so the rest of us won’t have to all the time.

Yikes: Intel chiefs told Trump Russia claims to have compromising personal and financial information on him; Update: CNN video added; Update: Memos leaked to BuzzFeed.

Yeah. You could have stopped right there, Analpundit.

You’re telling us that “Intel chiefs” leaked memos who are so laughably fake that it takes all of five seconds to determine that they are, indeed, fake (seriously, the CIA referring to themselves in an official document as “the Company”? Read too many paperbacks, have you?) to, of all places, BUZZFEED???


Somebody take the magnifying glass and the tweezers away from that poor mental defective, because violating that poor innocent skin tag between his legs so furiously can’t possibly be good for him.


UPDATE: Oh G-d, please make this stop, we can’t BREATHE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Turns out our initial thought, “looks exactly like something those crazy trolls over at 4Chan might cook up” (yeah, we have two teenage boys, so we’re familiar with the place. It reminds us of our early USENet Performance Art days. In a good way), was spot on.

So CNN and BuzzFart got a hold of a trollbait piece of fanfic from the ‘channers and they RAN with it??? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Troll Level: Master!

See, kids: That’s how to utterly destroy the few remaining tatters of the ProgMedia’s credibility.

Epically played, good sirs, YHBT, HAND.

P.S.: We weren’t exactly surprised either to learn that the Shame of Arizona™, McStain, had been very “helpful” in passing this trollbait on. Not just because the doddering old fool is an America-hating sack of drooling shite, but also because we imagine that some of the more, ahem, “exotic” fora on 4Chan might be… appealing to a dirty old man, so imagining him trawling the place for stimulation is entirely within the realm of likely scenarios. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

More Kibble

Tell Us Again that Proziism ISN’T a Mental Illness?

This thing, from right after the election, written by a moron Prozi from one of the Prozi dumpster fire websites out there (ThinkProgress, an oxymoron if ever we saw one), has been doing the rounds recently and all we can say is “beyond therapeutic reach.” There is just so much in there that screams “take

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And the Daily Schadenboner Update

Just when we thought that the turgid monster would finally, FINALLY take a rest and allow us to wear something other than a fucking sari, looking like a Ringling, Barnum and Bailey big top, shit like this pops up in the news: As outgoing President Barack Obama plans to head off on vacation when he

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You Really Ought to Cut it Out, You Know

While all of the dejected Prozis of our fair nation are wetting themselves over the coming dark night of fascism under Trump, they’re doing their damndest to make sure that it comes to pass. Thing is, if they succeed, they won’t be around for very long. FOX 32 NEWS – Chicago investigators are questioning four

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Quick update

Oh yes, a thud indeed. Sorry, I’ve been out of it for a while. What, the holidays and all, but a damnable case of the interminable cruds as well, more specifically pneumonia. Beats the snot out of you, it does. Still, I just wanted to let you all know that I’ve not gone into hibernation,

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2017 Lands With A “THUD”

“OMGWTFBBQ Trump will push the red button”

Will someone…ANYONE..I dont care who….explain to these bedwetting, whining, puerile and utterly LUNATIC Lefties that there IS no “big red button” and reassure these Safe Space™ addicted, halfwitted, droolingly braindead imbeciles that no US President anywhere can EVER unilaterally launch a nuclear attack? I mean really, do NONE of them ever bother to actually LEARN

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Older Chewing Bones

These are topics that are older and still have a little flavor left in them.

December 22nd, 2016
Action, Meet Consequences…

Comments 24 Comments »

December 20th, 2016
They’re Everywhere

Comments 7 Comments »

December 20th, 2016
Prozi Land Whale Regrets Not Having Abortion

Comments 11 Comments »

December 20th, 2016
Steyn on Muslim Terrorism and Multi-Culti Suicide

Comments 4 Comments »

December 19th, 2016
Frau Reichskanzler Merkel’s Germany, the Enrichening

Comments 11 Comments »

December 19th, 2016
The Little Coup that Couldn’t

Comments 5 Comments »