Fresh Meat

Erm, Kev, We Might Need to Rethink That…

We mentioned a bit ago how Kevin Williamson of NRO is one of ours and a wordsmith of quite some caliber and, just in case you thought we were just trying to be nice, we found a recent and very good example of just how deep his keyboard cuts when he wants to take somebody to the woodshed. Granted, the target was one of the dumbest Prozi dipshits known to man, Lena Dunham (you know, the chubby one who compared voting for King Putt to having sex for the first time, something she’s evidently still fantasizing about. Having sex, we mean), but his prose is ART, we tell you.

Let’s just give you the lede:

If you would like to be filled with despair for the prospects of democracy, spend a few minutes attempting to decipher the psephological musings of Lena Dunham, the distinctly unappealing actress commissioned by Planned Parenthood to share with her presumably illiterate following “5 Reasons Why I Vote (and You Should, Too).” That’s 21st-century U.S. politics in miniature: a half-assed listicle penned by a half-bright celebrity and published by a gang of abortion profiteers.

That’s just him getting warmed up. We’re not going to go through more than that, you’ll have to read it yourselves (and you’ll enjoy it too), but one thing got us to thinking while we were talking to LC Jaybear on Facebork and this whole “free rubbers and pills for everybody” nonsense that the likes of Dunham so enjoy harping on about, particularly when it comes to claiming that conservatives are waging a “War on Women” for not wanting to pay for contraception when Lena one day is naked and has sex. With a man. You know, somebody with a real penis.

None of which is what Kev is talking about, which is yet another reason why you should go read his post. We’ll still be here when you get back. This is what we just got to thinking about:

Those of us who have been working against various mandates imposed by the Affordable Care Act are as a matter of fact attempting to extricate ourselves from involvement in Lena Dunham’s sex life, the details of which we would gratefully leave to her own idiosyncratic management. It is the so-called Affordable Care Act that has involved us in subsidizing birth control, abortifacients, surgical abortions, and who knows what else, for the strong, powerful, self-actualized American woman who cannot figure out how to walk into Walgreens, lay down the price of a latte, and walk out with her own birth-control pills, no federal intervention necessary. The very conservative editors of this magazine are in fact trying to make it easier for them to do so with over-the-counter birth control. I suspect that Miss Dunham does not know very many conservatives, so allow me to pass along the message: We really, truly, sincerely do not wish to be involved in your sex life. [Emphasis ours -- Emp Misha I"

When we first read it, we were thinking that truer words were never spoken. Because, Jupiter knows, if there is one thing conservatives don’t want to be involved in, Prozi protestations to the contrary, is what goes on in Prozi bedrooms. We don’t even want to be in the same zip code as a bedroom in which a Prozi hag might be having what passes for sex among their tribe, so to claim that they want us out of said bedrooms has always struck us as the most absurd demand we’ve ever heard. You wouldn’t be able to lead us into Lena Dunham or Amanda Marcotte’s bedrooms at gunpoint.

“A fate worse than death” comes to mind.

But then we got to thinking some more. Maybe that’s where we went wrong? Maybe we shouldn’t be so opposed to paying for Sandra Fluke (rhymes with “truck”) and Lena Dunham’s contraception? Sure, we still agree with the principle of it. Nobody should be forced to pay for somebody else’s dalliances, but seriously… Imagine that Lena one day has actual sex. With a man. Don’t laugh, it could happen. Now imagine that something might happen inside that Bottomless Cave of Unspeakable Horrors of hers, something that might attach itself to her uterine wall and, Heaven forbid, turn into another Prozi hellspawn once she got done failing to bring it up and turn it into a human being.

Would ponying up a few dollars to keep that from happening be all that much to ask?

We find ourself wavering in our faith here. Please help us out.

Thatisall.

Things The Evil BooshHitler DIDN’T Do…

From the always excellent Doug Ross:

140213-stuff-bush-didnt-do-comix

Speaking of Heinrich Holder: What might he be up to, now that he’ll be spending more “time with his family?”

How about… Supreme Court Justice Heinrich Holder?

Think King Putt and his Progressive Socialist (Prozi, for short) Party wouldn’t dare?

Why not?

The Quisling Party would do their usual tap dance of voting for cloture, after which they’d bang their sunken chests muchly and grandstand greatly while voting “nay” on the final confirmation, knowing full well that their handlers in the Prozi Party have the simple majority they need to make their symbolic “nay” votes irrelevant and thus hoping, like the good trained seals they are, that their Prozi masters would throw them a fish for clapping their flippers so loudly and arfing so obediently.

And the ProziMedia would still call them “racists”, of course.

“It would never work, he’d be impeached almost immediately!”

Ha. Sure, Darrel Issa and his merry band of jesters would surely put on a good show of studiously doing absolutely nothing that might discomfit Ear Leader and his Prozis, just as they’ve been doing for nigh on six years by now, but that would be just about all of it. And the sheeple, having been entertained by those willfully impotent gestures, would throw up their hands and say “they did what they could, but it was a lost cause”, and go on to vote Quisling again. And again. And again.

So explain to us again where the downside for the Prozi Party in all of this is. Please.

Because we’d like to sleep one day again.

Thatisall.

Murderous Paleswinian Terrorist Pardoned by King Putt Gets Sent to Hades

Thanks to LC & GLOR readerjp, who sent us these wonderful news.

As you may recall, the Paleswinians kidnapped and brutally murdered three teenagers earlier this summer for the “crime” of “hitchhiking while Jewish”. The perpetrators, Marwan Kawasme & Amer Abu Aysha, one of whom had been released earlier in one of King Putt’s pardons, excuse us “swaps” (in exchange for nada).

They have now been sent to the pedophile goat deity that they worship by the IDF. Unfortunately, the article can no longer be found on the Jerusalem Post, but here are the salient facts:

Hamas members Marwan Kawasme and Amer Abu Aysha, the two Palestinians who kidnapped and murdered three Jewish teenagers on June 12, were shot and killed by the IDF in an exchange of fire on Tuesday in Hebron. IDF Chief of Staff Lt.-Gen. Benny Gantz said, “There is no comfort for the families in their heavy mourning and pain, but I hope they have a little relief in the knowledge that we got to the murderers of their sons.”

…and G-d will take care of the rest of the punishment of the subhumans.

Thatisall.

Challenge Accepted!

But first off, allow us to apologize for being even more off the radar than usual. We’ve had some issues with the Imperial Health (no, nothing that serious, so quit arguing about the lines of succession, at least for now) which have left us pretty much laid up in dry dock, getting our hull scraped for barnacles. Slowly. At any rate, we feel a bit better now.

The “Challenge?” We well understand why our dear Imperial Military Historian didn’t want to delve into that black hole of Incandescent Stupid he links to below. Not, obviously, because of lack of courage, he’s a Marine after all (which, as a bonus, also eliminates any risk of brain damage as it would require… Alright, we’ll just stop digging right here), but because of… “WHERE IN THE NAME OF PLUTO’S COCK TO BEGIN?”

We, on the other hand, can’t let such a target sit ***TRIGGER WARNING*** unmolested, even though we fear that we’ll end up being even more long winded than usual, even for us. So if you need to go pee, you might as well do so now, because we’ll be a while…

No one is coming for your guns … yet

You might want to rethink your “clever” use of “yet” in that headline. Some of us have a bad… reaction to it.

I’m sure I lost a lot of readers right off the bat with my headline,

One or both of them? Assuming that you have any, of course.

but for those of you who are willing to hear me out (and if you are still reading I am going to assume that you are), let me explain my position to you.

Oh please do!

Gun control is an absolute joke in this country.

So move.

Background checks are all well and good, but if you can turn around and sell the gun to your neighbor without one, they’re utterly pointless.

Does the law require you to ID everybody who bums a smoke off of you? We guess those laws are pointless too.

Continue Reading »Challenge Accepted!

More Kibble

I Have No Words

Seriously folks (or as Algore would say “Serially”) I am at a total loss for words to fisk this heaping pile of…of…you see, speechless. I’ll just leave it here and allow you pups to have the honor. But do, please, read all the comments in the link. It will give you back some of the

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King Putt was a little “latte”with his salute

Take the fucking coffee cup out of your right hand, put it on the ground or give it to someone, you useless, incompetent, half assed IMBECILE. You flunked kindergarten, admit it.

Yet Another Prominent Prozi Calling for Imprisonment of Dissidents

We’re really still not quite sure why this is considered news, but obviously even people on our side are having a hard time coming to grips with the left being a bunch of totalitarian freaks. It’s almost as if those people spent the last century and a half living under a rock while refusing to

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A New Fad Whose Time Has Come (To Die): “Microaggressions”

One can say a lot of things about living in these turbulent and blatantly ridiculous times of ours, but one thing one cannot say is that there’s a shortage of idiocy for a committed Anti-Idiotarian to mercilessly mock and ridicule. One of those things is what is called “microaggressions”, a child of the socialist seventies

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More From the Lovely Religion of Peace

But don’t forget, “no religion teaches murder of the innocent”, as our beloved Ear Leader, Barack Obamovich, has taught us ignorant rubes time and again (h/t Jawa): A Palestinian mother waited for her 16-year-old daughter to go to bed, tied a rope around her neck and strangled her to death. The woman murdered her own

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O’er the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave

200 years ago today the sun broke over a haze filled Baltimore harbor. The acrid smoke of black powder burned the eyes and throats of the sailors as they stared over the gunwales of the British men-of-war. What they saw surprised them, and inspired a “guest” who was on board to write four verses of

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