Fresh Meat

Great Moments in National Socialist Hellcare

Or, as they abbreviate it in the caliphate of Britain, the “NHS.”

Biological women who legally define themselves as men will not be routinely scanned for breast and cervical cancer, even if they retain these organs and remain at risk, the National Health Service (NHS) has said.

So broads who’d like to have a penis on the outside as opposed to the inside won’t get regular reminders to have their decidedly non-masculine actual genitalia checked for cancer. Why?, one must ask oneself if one is in possession of more than one functioning synapse.

The guidelines [...] have been introduced to avoid “triggering gender dysphoria” in the transgendered, NHS material indicates.

Ah, but of course! How utterly silly we feel now! We wouldn’t want to save the little darlings’ lives if, in doing so, we might hurt their precious feeewings, would we? That would be so… transphobic (correct us if our Newspeak is incorrect, please. We’re still struggling with that particular dialect of Common Retard).

Also, and again correct us if we’re wrong, but isn’t some mentally disturbed cow who thinks she’s a lad the very definition of “gender dysphoric?” If so, how might one “trigger” something into existence which has already manifested itself clearly in the subject?

Of course, we find ourselves strangely indifferent to smears not being forced upon people by state fiat, being the sort of Emperor that we are. However, isn’t it a bit, we don’t know, harmful to not at least offer the service to the already mentally deranged dears?

“We’re frightfully sorry. If we’d caught the cancer sooner, we could have saved your daughter’s life but, considering that she liked to wear lumberjack shirts and false mustaches, we thought it would be unforgivably offensive to invite her in for the exam that she already paid for via her taxes.”

We’re not sure how convincing that sounds, really.

Oh, but if you thinks The Stupid™ ends here, you have absolutely NO idea:

However, at the same time, biological men who regard themselves as women are being invited for cervical smear tests – even though it is impossible for them to have a cervix – an official guidebook states.

So while they’re busy not offering the service to people who might actually benefit from it, they will be offering mentally bewildered chavs who think they’re lasses exams of organs that they don’t actually, you know, possess.

We can’t quite imagine how that would work, should one of those mental cases actually show up for his pap smear. Would they conduct an imaginary exam of his imaginary organ, or would they just shove the brush up his Khyber Pass while reciting The Charge of the Light Brigade?

The mind boggles.

Every time we think the world has reached Peak Stupid™, it proves us wrong.

Thatisall.

The Great Vaginal Exodus

Yes pups, today is the anniversary of our Great Imperators liberation from the Ovarian Bastille.

Since I value my life I will refrain from mentioning what year this occurred.

Happy Birthday my dear friend, and many more.

Great Moments in Governance (UPDATED)

The good citizens of Hawaii got a major scare when some otherwise unemployable government drone accidentally sent out a state wide warning that a ballistic missile was inbound, with an added “THIS IS NOT A DRILL” just to make sure that anybody with a tendency to heart problems would stop being a burden on Hawaii’s remaining ObamaCare plans.

The said dimwit was, it would seem, not only too daft to not initiate the state wide warning, but also failed to click on “cancel/no” when the giant “ARE YOU SURE?” popup started flashing in front of his face. Perhaps he, being a government employee, was too busy surfing pr0n or playing Words with Friends to pay attention.

But at least he’s feeling really, really bad about it, so all is forgiven.

“This guy feels bad, right. He’s not doing this on purpose – it was a mistake on his part and he feels terrible about it,” said Miyagi in a press conference Saturday afternoon.

Miyagi, a retired Army major general, said the employee would be “counseled and drilled so this never happens again,” but he did not say whether there would be disciplinary measures.

Which, considering that we’re talking about a government employee here, is slightly less likely to happen than somebody winning the Powerball 32 weeks in a row. Without buying a single ticket.

More likely, the blisteringly incompetent parasite will be given an extended leave with full pay, then be promoted to a managerial position in Human Resources.

But at least the government of Hawaii stepped in with all of the efficiency that government workers all over the world are known for and, after a mere 38 minutes, managed to send out a message via the same system that it was all a mistake, which was approximately 35 minutes after all Hawaiians with a Twitter account had already learned the same thing by simply clicking through their news feed.

You just can’t beat the government when it comes to rapid response!

At least the good people of Hawaii can find comfort in the expectation that should, Heaven forbid, an actual nuclear strike occur, their “early” warning system will be right on top of that shit at least 35 minutes after they’ve all become radioactive dust particles and thus won’t have to spend their remaining minutes on Earth in a panic.

Thatisall.

UPDATE: Can we call them or what? (OK, not a tough call. It would have taken an Act of G-d to get a public “worker” fired. Scaring a few million people shitless and sending a few grannies off to an early grave with a heart attack doesn’t even register on that scale).

govdrone

Shitholes are Gonna Shithole

Apparently the latest GOTCHA! from the increasingly hysterical ProziMedia and their Cuck enablers is that the President allegedly called shitholes shitholes. Allegedly, because the only “reliable sources” we have are the voices in the ProziMedia’s heads (a.k.a. “unnamed sources”), Dick Turban and Chuck Schumer, neither of which are known for an even passing familiarity with the concept of truth.

This unusual (for a politician, but certainly not for the current President) outburst of what, in police parlance, is known as “an objective and accurate description of the suspect” is apparently even more proof that he’s Literally Hitler™!!!, perhaps even with added lederhosen and bratwurst cluster.

Describing such thriving, prosperous and happy paragons of liberty and hygiene as Somalia, Eritrea, Nigeria and Haiti as shitholes is, if we’re to believe our snooty, effeminate “betters”, not merely simply not done, it’s downright racist.

Because all of that poverty, filth, illiteracy and corruption in those shitholes is, if one is to believe those “betters” of ours, entirely due to their race and not their culture. Otherwise, how can it be “racist” to call those shithole nations shitholes?

Which, confusingly, is absolutely not a racist thing to say because…

Don’t ask us to try to make sense of Prozi and Cuckspeak, it’s impossible.

Perhaps they should just shut their shitholes and let us normals get on with things.

Thatisall.

More Kibble

Dear President Trump:No I am not tired of winning

Source For all the kicking and screaming and tantrums of the “Educated Left”, they are now chowing down on a massive meal of CROW. The rabid NeverTrumpers ranted and raved on how “Literally Hitler” was “pushing us towards a nuclear war because of his stupidity”… DONALD Trump has been credited for the return of North

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“Pour Some Sugar On Me”

Unless you’re in Seattle, because it has become rather too expensive there. Seattle Sugar Tax Raises Soda Prices by 75 Percent Now that’s some change Seattle-ites can believe in! Especially since “change they can believe in” is the only change they’ll have left if they ever decide to buy a sugary drink again. To illustrate:

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Santa Claus was in the SS or Something and, by the Way, Trump is Still LITERALLY HITLER™

Don’t say we didn’t get anything for Christmas last year. We got the most incandescently inane Hitler comparison we think we’ve ever seen, courtesy of some rag called Newsweek, whose claim to fame is mainly having been sold for the princely sum of $1.00 (an absolute ripoff! The buyer should have sued). With only days

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Someone Didn’t Show Up For Their Shift…

This will be an Open Thread.

Merry Christmas!

Oh How the Little Piggies Will Grunt

We obviously aren’t writing this since the world has ended numerous times already (according to the ProziMedia) due to the cataclysmic Literally Hitler!!!!™ steps recently by the Trump Administration, so consider the rest a figment of your imagination. One of those things that have ended the world as we know it and cast us all

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Older Chewing Bones

These are topics that are older and still have a little flavor left in them.

December 7th, 2017
In answer to the announcement by President Trump….

Comments 4 Comments »



December 3rd, 2017
Other News in Brief

Comments 29 Comments »



December 3rd, 2017
The Butthurt, it is STRONK!!!

Comments 3 Comments »



December 3rd, 2017
Once a Stasi, Always a Nazi

Comments 3 Comments »



December 3rd, 2017
Because Apparently it Needs to be Said Again

Comments 7 Comments »



November 21st, 2017
You Don’t Say, You Nauseating Nazi Bitch?

Comments 17 Comments »