Put the Champagne on the Cooler!

LC Radical Redneck brings us the most glorious, glorious news:

In a statement on his Facebook page, Nathan Phelps, who has been estranged from his father for 30 years, said the senior Phelps was dying in hospice care in Topeka, Kan., and that he had been excommunicated from his own church in August of 2013.

“I’m not sure how I feel about this. Terribly ironic that his devotion to his god ends this way. Destroyed by the monster he made,” Nathan Phelps wrote.

And now the malodorous cunt is going to Hell! Oh happy day!

“I feel sad for all the hurt he’s caused so many,” he continued. “I feel sad for those who will lose the grandfather and father they loved. And I’m bitterly angry that my family is blocking the family members who left from seeing him, and saying their good-byes.”

Can the rest of us say goodbye to him at least? As in “good riddance, you flaming fucktard, now go Phelch Satan’s asshole forever. Finally you’ll get all the cock you secretly longed for your entire useless life.”

The very least the Phelch Phamily can do is to announce the time and place of the funeral so all of the rest of us will have a chance to return the favors he’s showered upon the funerals of others.

Oh well, for now we’ll just make do with this:

[youtube]http://youtu.be/y6Sxv-sUYtM[/youtube]

Thatisall.

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BC, Imperial Torturer
BC, Imperial Torturer

I’d add this to the post, but I don’t think it’s in the library here anymore.

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lc purple raider
lc purple raider

BC, you are demented.

And we love you for it.

angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster

I saw that notice on Faceplant yesterday. The best comment I saw was:

Considering the bladder capacity of America, within 24 hours of the burial, Phelp’s grave will have the consistency of overused kitty litter.”
:em01: :em05: :em07:

Azygos
Azygos

I do hope someone posts the coordinates so my Piss Tour USA can be complete. :em07:

angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster

Library Czar @ #:

I do hope someone posts the coordinates so my Piss Tour USA can be complete.

I was just thinking, should we include a tray of chocolate flavored Ex-Lax on site for those who wish to make a “firmer, more permanent” donation?
:em03:
:em01:
:em05:

LC SecondMouse
LC SecondMouse

On this auspicious occasion, I feel compelled to share these classic observations about a man of Phelps’ qualities: “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain “I have never killed a man, but I… Read more »

I hope he lingers, there are still so many things to plan. Gotta book a band (I’m thinking Uncle Ted), book the strippers, the catering, the cake…

angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster

Eric Praline @ #:

Gotta book a band (I’m thinking Uncle Ted), book the strippers, the catering, the cake…

Hmm, will they be gay strippers? Somehow that would seem to be appropriate.
:em05:

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher

The Phucktard will surely improve the universe greatly by leaving it.

BC, Imperial Torturer
BC, Imperial Torturer

angrywebmaster @ #:

I’m thinking The Village People would be most appropriate for the occasion, at least as the opening act. Queen, with a Freddie Mercury sound-alike/look-alike, should be the headliners.

angrywebmaster says:

Hmm, will they be gay strippers? Somehow that would seem to be appropriate.

I thought, given how those pride parade guys behave, paying for gay strippers would be a bit redundant. But the girls from Titty Town promised that their show would be deeply offensive. :em01:

LC Ted
LC Ted

There wasn’t going around on Twitter that Westborough Baptist was going to protest his funeral. But, it turned out that that was just a hoax.

It still would be ironic.

LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist
LC Sir Intellectual Conservative 5th Columnist

He’s dead. And good riddance.

“He will be missed.”—(until I add him to my Sniper Team 2 mod)
“His death is untimely and sad.”—(it should have happened sooner and that makes me sad.)
“I feel as if a part of my life has been taken from me.”—(like a malignant growth, that is.)