But that’s no excuse for not at least making a noise, we suppose, so we apologize.
What’s been going on in the world? The only thing we know of, having been too busy to do much of anything other than try to keep up with the running of the Imperial Palace, is that this must be the coldest winter in Texas we can remember. The only good thing about it is watching the Glowbull Wormening Cultists wrap themselves into pretzels trying to explain it, along with the undeniable fact (facts being things that scare leftist morons more than anything in the world, other than taking a bath and getting a job) that it’s been getting colder and colder for years now.
That, we must admit, is hilarious. It’s also a great way to prune your social circles of sub-moronic weeds. Just mention casually that some Global Warming would be nice around now and pay attention to the reactions of those around you. It may take a few applications, but pretty soon you’ll have your Christmas Card list cleaned out in a most satisfying way and with the bonus benefit of never ever again accidentally finding yourself in the company of something with an intelligence quotient lower than their shoe size.
Oh, and then there’s the whole Wendy Davis circus. Wendy Davis, for those of you who aren’t Texan or who simply couldn’t care less, is the Texas spokes-Sanger for abortion on demand past 5 months gestation as well as refusing to demand that infanticide mills at least make sure that they have admitting privileges to a real hospital in case anything goes wrong during the baby murder.
We’re sure that she’d actually be in favor of back alley coat hanger abortions, seeing as how you can’t regulate murder any less than that, and she gets all warm and fuzzy when it comes to murdering babies.
Anyway, the circus part is that she, like any other leftist in history (see Elizabeth Fauxcahontas, Joe Kinnock Biden et al), felt the need to, ahem, embellish her life story a bit in order to make it sound more appealing. And like any other leftist in history, she neglected to consider that she’d be found out. She also neglected to consider that Texas isn’t Massachusetts and, as such, she couldn’t count on the media to hush it all up and make it better for her.
We do agree, however, that her life story was in dire need of some serious embellishing, if she wants to become Governor of Texas, which she, hilariously, does. But perhaps she didn’t have to lay it on quite as thick.
In her version, she was the struggling single teenage mother who fought her way through Harvard Law to provide for her children whom she loves more than anything.
The only true part of that statement appears to be that she was, indeed, at some point a teenage mother. Hey, she was 19. Good thing she hadn’t been a few months more worth of shy or she’d have had to lie about that too. She was even single! Until she snagged up a lawyer sugar daddy to pay her bills for her, that is. Said bills including law school, which he liquidated his savings to help finance.
And then, on the day that he made the last payment on her student loans, she slapped his arse with a divorce and marched off.
Did we mention that she left the kids with him as well? Maybe they were cramping her style and, seeing as how she hadn’t quite molded the world in her image yet, it was still illegal to drown them in a tub.
When all of this came out, she immediately accused her opponent, Greg Abbott, of being the source of all of those vicious, evil, brutal attacks. Remember: Evil, vicious and brutal is leftist speak for “whenever anybody tells the truth about a leftist.” All of which would be wholly unremarkable, had she not decided to elevate it to comedy gold by finishing off her tirade by belittling Mr. Abbott (who, last we checked, had nothing to do with the truth coming out), stating that he “could not possibly know her struggle, having never walked a mile in her shoes.”
Which he hasn’t. And never will. You see, Mr. Abbott is a paraplegic and has been in a wheelchair for thirty years.
Oops. Howls of laughter at this leftist retard’s self-immolation may have been part of the reason why His Imperial Majesty has been having trouble keeping up. Hard to do anything useful when your sides are hurting and you’re having trouble breathing.
Anyways. We’re busy, working our arse off, but we’re otherwise fine. Hopefully things will calm down soon.