And no, you don’t get to know how many times we’ve celebrated our 21st by now. Suffice it to say that when we were in the service, “Centurion” wasn’t the name of a battle tank, it was a rank.
But seeing as how we can’t deny the fact that you can’t keep on being 21 forever, and seeing as how the enlightened youth of these formerly United States of America has, voluntarily, voted for a regime that has guaranteed that every dime of wealth left to this nation will be spent by our generation and paid for by them, we consider it only fair to propose a toast to the idealistic young idiots.
Thanks. We really appreciate it. We particularly appreciate the fact that you selflessly chose to vote for a healthcare insurance reform that will guarantee that you will end up paying for the healthcare of old goats like ourself. Not to mention that your Dear Leader and his Socialist Democrat Party has a habit of expanding endlessly the benefits that are supposedly “rights” of everybody who unlocked the achievement of their own birth.
Something that, again, will benefit only us and you not one little bit. We fully expect to have our Viagra, penis pumps and whatever other accessories we might need in our dotage paid for out of your pockets should our masculine faculties start to fail and falter in our ancient years. Something we doubt that you’ll find much use for, being young and virile and all that. The hip replacements, bypass grafts, statins, glaucoma surgeries and various and sundry other procedures that you won’t need, but we will, are also most welcome.
Thanks for paying for all of that, and thanks even more for proving every doubt we had in your intelligence by voting twice for a socialist con artist about whom we warned you. Repeatedly.
You really are devoted to paying for grandma’s breast enhancements, aren’t you?
And no, you won’t ever see a dime of that, because with all of the “free” stuff that your Ear Leader is handing out at your expense, there won’t be a rusty nickel left when you get old enough to benefit from your own largesse.
You will, however, have paid for it all of your lives, and you have only yourselves to thank for it.
Elections have consequences, don’t they?
They say that Social Security was a great Ponzi scheme designed to rip off future generations, and that is all very true.
But you, dear Millennials, may be the first generation in the history of mankind to have voted to rip off your own generation.
Did we mention you did so twice?
And all for the benefit of those of us old and wise enough to warn you, who did warn you. But you wouldn’t listen, bless your hearts, and it’s only reasonable that we should thank you for your youthful petulance, because otherwise who is going to pay for all of the metric tons of services we intend to use as we grow old and feeble?
So thanks. We really do appreciate it. Please keep being idiots, and please don’t ever start listening to what old fogies like ourself have to say.
Now get back to flipping burgers. Grandpa’s cybernetic boner won’t pay for itself, you know!