Gun Control, Gun Control, Gun Control! (Updated with a couple of corrections)

All together now: Who saw this coming? The liberal fascists, such as the loathsome ghoul Dianne Feinschwein, doing donuts in the still congealing blood of murder victims in order to advance their desperate agenda of disarming law-abiding citizens, lest they get any ideas along the way of maybe NOT being helpless subjects of their liberal fascist masters.

The Liberal Idiot Media, always ever helpful when it comes to missing a perfect opportunity to shut up, immediately did their usual spiel of publishing the name of somebody utterly innocent as somehow guilty of the carnage and then screaming from the rooftops about the Evil Black Rifle that the murderer allegedly used. Until it turned out that he didn’t, at which point they reverted to chastising the ones mocking them for caring too much about what weapon it was. Something they, the Liberal Idiot Media, cared about a great deal until they realized that they’d fucked up. Again.

You see, it turned out that the worthless scumbag had been heedful of Liberal Idiot Biden’s advice to “buy a shotgun, buy a shotgun!” and had purchased a Remington 870. Which is what he proceeded to use. Thanks, Liberal Idiot Biden. Of course, the scumbag WANTED an AR-15, but it turned out that the gun control laws that the Liberal Fascist always whine about not being restrictive enough had barred him from purchasing one. So he had to go with Liberal Fascist Biden’s weapon of choice instead.

The other weapons found on him after somebody helpfully ventilated his brain group housing, had been acquired by picking them off his victims.

The answer, according to Liberal Fascists? More background checks! Because clealy, sir, the scumbag wouldn’t have touched those weapons if he’d known that he’d have to submit to a background check first, before looting them off the dead bodies of his victims.

We don’t know. We simply can’t wrap our mind around what passes for “logic” in the “minds” of diseased Liberal Idiot Fascists.

In other news, Liberal Idiot Fascists learned, much to their surprise, that military bases are, in fact, gun-free zones. You see, thanks to the “logic” of Liberal Fascist Idiot Billy Jeff Blowjob, members of the armed forces became members of the unarmed forces back when he decreed that soldiers couldn’t be trusted with weapons. Which is every bit as logical as decreeing that sushi chefs can’t be trusted with knives. But that’s Liberal Fascist logic for you.

The answer to all mass murders being committed in gun-free zones? We knew you’d ask. According to Liberal Idiot Fascists is, of course, more gun-free zones. Preferably achieved by making every single law-abiding citizen who never did anything wrong in this country unarmed in order to make it easier for law-breakers who, newsflash, break laws, to murder them.

At this point we’re beginning to wonder if all Liberal Idiot Fascists have a snuff film fetish and just can’t get no satisfaction unless they’re watching endless footage of helpless people’s corpses rotting in the sun. If that’s the case and dead bodies is what they require to get their shriveled genitals off, then we’re sure that we can help them out. Albeit probably not in ways that they’d approve of. But we aim to please.

You aim TOO, please.

It’s For The Children™.

For real this time.

Thatisall.

UPDATE: LC Xystus informs us that the disarming of the armed forces wasn’t necessarily something thought up by Billy Blowjob alone. The link is to Glenn Beck’s The Blaze so, whereas it doesn’t automatically make it The Final Word™ on anything, we think that it’s safe to say that Beck probably isn’t a card carrying Defender of the Clinton’s Sacred Honor™ and it deserves mention. What it looks like is that Billy Blowjob’s edict was merely a continuation of something started by George H W “read my lips” Bush. Make up your own minds. Personally, we think that there’s a huge difference between a suggested policy change and an edict, but we certainly do agree that it doesn’t look like it was brought into being from nothing by Klintoon.

Second, LC Cortillaen informs us that, contrary to initial reports, the deranged Obama-voting scumbag who shot up the base wasn’t actually banned from buying an AR-15. He just apparently chose to go with Boom Boom Biden’s advice and buy a shotgun instead. Probably couldn’t afford the AR-15. Who knows? Point is, we were incorrect and we should have known better than to trust anything being disseminated within the 24-hour window. Our bad, and we apologize. No excuses. Loose shit.

Thanks to both of our alert LCs for keeping us honest and, just as importantly, well-informed.

7 comments

  1. 1

    I just did an entry on the media’s reaction to the fact that an AR-15 was not used in the shooting. They’re determined to make it about the AR-15 anyway, because IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN! SHUT UP, RACIST!

    Motherfuckers. I’m so sick and tired of this shit!
    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..No AR-15 used in Navy Yard shootingMy Profile

  2. 2
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Seems the guns/bases policy is a little too old to blame on Klintoon.

  3. 3
    Eric Praline growls and barks:

    At this point we’re beginning to wonder if all Liberal Idiot Fascists have a snuff film fetish and just can’t get no satisfaction unless they’re watching endless footage of helpless people’s corpses rotting in the sun.

    Maybe the left’s grandpappies Joe, Adolf, and Mao could answer that question for you. Those three only have a combined body count of about 113 million.

  4. 4
    Cortillaen growls and barks:

    Of course, the scumbag WANTED an AR-15, but it turned out that the gun control laws that the Liberal Fascist always whine about not being restrictive enough had barred him from purchasing one.

    Maybe not. It’s now being reported that he tried out the AR-15 and actually could have bought it but opted for following Uncle Joe’s advice.

    Also, don’t forget the other bit of News Unhelpful To The Narrative™: This was a man who apparently subscribed to the theory that his failure in life was not his fault but was a direct result of being black. All that talk and race-baiting about Whitey keepin the man down? Miiight have been a factor. But hey, keep on pushing the “It’s Their Fault, Not Yours” button.

    PS: Anyone who thinks that’s a bit thin, the Arbiters of Truth™ have declared by example that throwing out WAGs is an acceptable substitute for hard facts, so I’m good. At least I have the decency to mark it as a WAG.

  5. 5
  6. 6

    Fucking NBC did this entire story on how he rented an AR-15 in the days leading up to the attack to practice with. Yeah, because that’s the crux of the story right there. :em08:
    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..No AR-15 used in Navy Yard shootingMy Profile

  7. 7
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Actually an AR15 was used in the shooting. It was used to put down the psycho.
    :em01:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..Wisconsin public union death throesMy Profile