Operation Enduring Clusterfuck Apparently Called off Due to Lack of Interest

So we honestly thought that there was no way of extricating ourselves from the trap set by King Obungles’ flapping gums without a major clusterfuck being added to King Obungles’ already impressive lineup of uninterrupted clusterfucks.

Guess we were wrong. And with added comedy value too!

So let’s see if we get this right. Right after Fuckface the Troglodyte Kerry gets done assuring the world that our attack on Syria is going to be “unbelievably small” (that’s what Moochelle Antoinette said last night too, thanks angrywebmaster!), he then proceeds fucking up by suggesting that if only Assad hands over his chemical weapons in a week, everything will be OK.

The increasingly embarrassed/embarrassing, pick one, Dept. of Slate hadn’t even gotten through backpedaling from Fuckface’s latest bout of oral flatulence before Tovarish Volodya informed us that “OK, I talked to Assad and told him that we’re OK with that too” and then Assad was all “sure thing, we’ll fork ’em over.”

And then King Obungles, increasingly aware of the fact that his Excellent Syrian Adventure Vote wouldn’t work out very well for him, suddenly decided that Fuckface really did mean what he said before he didn’t mean it and then meant it again, and his angry little lap-chihuahua Reid went ahead and postponed the Senate vote.

Bravely ran away, away! When down-twinkles reared their ugly heads, he bravely turned his tail and fled. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Bumbles!

One day somebody is going to set King Obungles’ “presidency” to music and we’ll laugh and laugh and laugh. OK, but somebody will laugh, that’s for sure.

Not that we mind in the least bit that we’ve averted the disgrace of seeing our men and women ordered to fly CAS for Al Qaeda, not to mention the possibly cataclysmic consequences of seeing a Jug-eared, sub-par, barely literate stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure throwing a Molotov cocktail into the tinderbox of the Middle East, we were hoping that some miracle would happen that would stop that.

But we quite frankly hadn’t yet gotten tired of hearing the once anti-war leftists singing “Oh, what a lovely war” off key. Oh well, we’ll always have Benghazi.

Now, of course, as Ace points out, the DNCMedia will now, all shouts of “Remember the Maine” long forgotten, launch into a synchronized, sustained orgasm over the “unprecedented, brilliant, masterful, tingle-inducing STATESMANSHIP of Teh One™ who, single-handedly, stopped the missiles mid flight and Saved The World™ through his masterly mastery of strategy and diplomacy.”

But fluffing the Kenyan Kock is what they’d have done anyway, no matter what would have happened.

The rest of us get to snicker about the “steely resolve” of president Cry Havoc who, after having howled at the moon for days about how the world absolutely had to ACT NOW! in the face of Assad, that unholy mixture of Satan, Hitler and Saddam (no, mustn’t mention Saddam!) or the world would forever be unsafe, ran as far away from the sounds of the guns as he could the moment an opportunity presented itself.

We guess Assad isn’t Hitler anymore, or maybe he is, but Hitler would definitely never ever try anything underhanded after giving his word that he’d given up all intentions to be a bad boy. Would he? No, of course he wouldn’t.

And we can’t even begin to imagine the furor of Moochelle Antoinette right now:

“Barry! How did you get into the nightstand and where is that jar with your balls in that I kept there???”

It’s on a desk in the Kremlin, Moochelle, and best of luck getting it back. Now go make us a sammich.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thatisall.

15 comments

  1. 1
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    When down-twinkles reared their ugly heads…

    Down-twinkles? :em03:

  2. 2
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    hat’s what Moochelle Antoinette said last night too, thanks angrywebmaster!)

    You’re welcome. I thought you might like it.
    :em05:
    Of course, I must give credit where credit is due. If it hadn’t been for “Liveshot” Kerry’s serving up that nice easy lob for me to smash back into his chin…
    :em01: :em05:

  3. 3
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    And this is what happens when I haven’t had my coffee. Forgot to click the notify button again. :em08:

  4. 4
    franklaughter growls and barks:

    Give the corrupt media a few days. They’ll soon realize that Obama’s ‘brilliant’ solution to extricate himself from RedlineGate is the most brilliant strategy since JFK ‘defeated’ Stalin for installing nukes in Cuba.

  5. 5
    LC R6 growls and barks:

    If I’m reading it right, then I call you a coward. If I’m reading it wrong, then I apologize. But I don’t think I’m reading it wrong.

    LC GZ,

    I hate to beat a dead horse (especially one that isn’t dead YET), but over the years that I’ve been hanging at The Rott (since 2004) I’ve heard the “I haven’t got long” and “a post after I’m gone” and the like on many, many occasions. I find blatant attempts at squashing dissent by fishing for sympathy mixed with political argument particularly disgusting.

  6. 6
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I just put up a post on my site on how I think Obama’s speech should go tonight.
    :em05:
    :em07:

  7. 7
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    Great Googly Moogly, you just can’t make this stuff up!! :em05:

    John F-ing Kerry actually rooted around long enough, accidentally found a nut, and . . . . problem solved! Right? :em04:

    No, actually, problem kicked down the road, and who knows what Obumbles will try to pull off next… after the accolades pour in from the Lamestream Media and Sycophants Inc.

    Stay tuned, Rotties (and even you, Deej). I’m sure the best/worst is yet to come. May God help us all!

    :em03:

  8. 8
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Igor, Imperial Booby @ #:

    John F-ing Kerry actually rooted around long enough, accidentally found a nut

    Actually, Liveshot put his foot deeply into it. He didn’t just upstage “The One” he cut him off at the knees, all because he can’t be bothered to think of anyone other then himself.
    Oh wait. He is a Progressive Liberal Democrat and part of the ruling elite, so thinking of others isn’t even on the sonar.
    :em05:

  9. 9
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    what the fuck is a twat whistle?

    Ever hear Patience by Guns n’ Roses?

    Then you’ve heard a twat whistle.

  10. 10
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    Fa Cube Itches @ #:

    Huh? A twat whistle eh? I always thought that was a asshole whistle….but at least I was in the neighborhood……

  11. 11
    LC R6 growls and barks:

    what the fuck is a twat whistle?

    It’s not a thing, it’s a talent. I’ve whistled a few twats in my time and done properly it CAN change foreign policy.

    :em05:

  12. 12
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    @#5.

    Give the corrupt media a few days. They’ll soon realize that Obama’s ‘brilliant’ solution to extricate himself from RedlineGate is the most brilliant strategy since JFK ‘defeated’ Stalin for installing nukes in Cuba.

    I presume you mean “‘defeated’ Krushchev.”

  13. 13
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    I presume you mean “‘defeated’ Krushchev.”

    It’s the US media – their proper term for that is “betrayed the Revolution”

  14. 14
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    LC TerribleTroy @ #:

    at least I was in the neighborhood……

    And boy, does that neighborhood stink.

  15. 15
    LadyRaven growls and barks:

    “A Russian proposal for Syria to place its chemical weapons arsenal under international control will not succeed unless the United States and its allies reject the use of force against Damascus, President Vladimir Putin said on Tuesday.

    The proposal “can work only if we hear that the American side and all those who support the United States in this sense reject the use of force,” Putin said in televised remarks.” http://pumabydesign001.com/2013/09/10/syria-playing-obama-and-running-with-it/