So we honestly thought that there was no way of extricating ourselves from the trap set by King Obungles’ flapping gums without a major clusterfuck being added to King Obungles’ already impressive lineup of uninterrupted clusterfucks.
Guess we were wrong. And with added comedy value too!
So let’s see if we get this right. Right after Fuckface the Troglodyte Kerry gets done assuring the world that our attack on Syria is going to be “unbelievably small” (that’s what Moochelle Antoinette said last night too, thanks angrywebmaster!), he then proceeds fucking up by suggesting that if only Assad hands over his chemical weapons in a week, everything will be OK.
The increasingly embarrassed/embarrassing, pick one, Dept. of Slate hadn’t even gotten through backpedaling from Fuckface’s latest bout of oral flatulence before Tovarish Volodya informed us that “OK, I talked to Assad and told him that we’re OK with that too” and then Assad was all “sure thing, we’ll fork ‘em over.”
And then King Obungles, increasingly aware of the fact that his Excellent Syrian Adventure Vote wouldn’t work out very well for him, suddenly decided that Fuckface really did mean what he said before he didn’t mean it and then meant it again, and his angry little lap-chihuahua Reid went ahead and postponed the Senate vote.
Bravely ran away, away! When down-twinkles reared their ugly heads, he bravely turned his tail and fled. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Bumbles!
One day somebody is going to set King Obungles’ “presidency” to music and we’ll laugh and laugh and laugh. OK, but somebody will laugh, that’s for sure.
Not that we mind in the least bit that we’ve averted the disgrace of seeing our men and women ordered to fly CAS for Al Qaeda, not to mention the possibly cataclysmic consequences of seeing a Jug-eared, sub-par, barely literate stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure throwing a Molotov cocktail into the tinderbox of the Middle East, we were hoping that some miracle would happen that would stop that.
But we quite frankly hadn’t yet gotten tired of hearing the once anti-war leftists singing “Oh, what a lovely war” off key. Oh well, we’ll always have Benghazi.
Now, of course, as Ace points out, the DNCMedia will now, all shouts of “Remember the Maine” long forgotten, launch into a synchronized, sustained orgasm over the “unprecedented, brilliant, masterful, tingle-inducing STATESMANSHIP of Teh One™ who, single-handedly, stopped the missiles mid flight and Saved The World™ through his masterly mastery of strategy and diplomacy.”
But fluffing the Kenyan Kock is what they’d have done anyway, no matter what would have happened.
The rest of us get to snicker about the “steely resolve” of president Cry Havoc who, after having howled at the moon for days about how the world absolutely had to ACT NOW! in the face of Assad, that unholy mixture of Satan, Hitler and Saddam (no, mustn’t mention Saddam!) or the world would forever be unsafe, ran as far away from the sounds of the guns as he could the moment an opportunity presented itself.
We guess Assad isn’t Hitler anymore, or maybe he is, but Hitler would definitely never ever try anything underhanded after giving his word that he’d given up all intentions to be a bad boy. Would he? No, of course he wouldn’t.
And we can’t even begin to imagine the furor of Moochelle Antoinette right now:
“Barry! How did you get into the nightstand and where is that jar with your balls in that I kept there???”
It’s on a desk in the Kremlin, Moochelle, and best of luck getting it back. Now go make us a sammich.