Fresh from the People’s Communist Republic of Colorado:
Poudre School District in Fort Collins cancelled school today because of what they called “unprecedented heat.” Weather Underground forecasts 88ºF for the high today.
88 degrees? In August? “Unprecedented?”
And yes, we’re absolutely certain that the closure had absolutely nothing to do with an “unprecedented” urge on behalf of the National Socialist Teachers’ Union’s “Educators” to have a four day Labor Day weekend.
88 degrees! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!
Worthless, lazy, communist pussies.
As forecasts call for cooler temperatures next week, future heat related closures/dismissal decisions are unlikely.
“Unless we wake up with a hangover on Tuesday, of course, in which case we’ll come up with an even dafter excuse for another day off with full pay.”
Since heat is impacting the beginning of every school year, PSD administration will be discussing potential long-term solutions for next year, including possible modifications to the calendar.
“Henceforth, August will be referred to as “July”, and all Fridays and Mondays will be referred to as “the weekend.”"