Which, of course, we all know. Which is why you don’t bring screen door netting if you’re sent out to fix an exterior hatch on a submarine.
Or, you know, attempt an armed robbery with a bat.
Did we mention that the store this particular goblin tried to rob was a gun store? (H/t Sipsey Street Irregulars).
22-year-old Derrick Mosley reportedly attempted to rob Discount Gun Sales in Beaverton, Ore., on Thursday. Wielding a baseball bat, Mosley strolled into the store and smashed a display case.
Mosley, by the way, looks a lot like King Hussein’s son. If he’d had one.
Needless to say, not even the truly Cosmic Levels of Stupid exhibited by Mosley could turn this into a win for him.
All the store manager… of a gun store… had to do was pull out his own personal firearm. And that he did. Pointing it straight at Mosley, the manager successfully ordered the would-be robber to drop the bat, the unloaded gun he was trying to steal, and a nine-inch knife in his possession.
Upon arrival, the sheriff’s department reportedly found Mosley on the floor, still being held at gunpoint by the furious manager. The failed robber was booked on charges of first-degree robbery, first-degree theft, unlawful possession of a firearm, and second-degree criminal mischief.
…not to mention First Degree Felony Stupid.
Of course, now some raving hoplophobe somewhere will immediately scream: “See? Somebody DID try to rob a gun store, you gun-loving, crazy wingnutz.”
Keyword here is tried.