It’s Really All About Choosing the Right Tool For the Job

Which, of course, we all know. Which is why you don’t bring screen door netting if you’re sent out to fix an exterior hatch on a submarine.

Or, you know, attempt an armed robbery with a bat.

Did we mention that the store this particular goblin tried to rob was a gun store? (H/t Sipsey Street Irregulars).

22-year-old Derrick Mosley reportedly attempted to rob Discount Gun Sales in Beaverton, Ore., on Thursday. Wielding a baseball bat, Mosley strolled into the store and smashed a display case.

Mosley, by the way, looks a lot like King Hussein’s son. If he’d had one.

Needless to say, not even the truly Cosmic Levels of Stupid exhibited by Mosley could turn this into a win for him.

All the store manager… of a gun store… had to do was pull out his own personal firearm. And that he did. Pointing it straight at Mosley, the manager successfully ordered the would-be robber to drop the bat, the unloaded gun he was trying to steal, and a nine-inch knife in his possession.

Upon arrival, the sheriff’s department reportedly found Mosley on the floor, still being held at gunpoint by the furious manager. The failed robber was booked on charges of first-degree robbery, first-degree theft, unlawful possession of a firearm, and second-degree criminal mischief.

…not to mention First Degree Felony Stupid.

Of course, now some raving hoplophobe somewhere will immediately scream: “See? Somebody DID try to rob a gun store, you gun-loving, crazy wingnutz.”

Yes.

Keyword here is tried.

Thatisall.

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Radical RedneckPrincess Natasha, Resident Imperialist WarmongerLC cmblake6, Imperial Black Ops TechnicianIgor, Imperial BoobyVonZorch Imperial Researcher Recent comment authors
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angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster

I always wondered if anyone would be that dumb, or could be that dumb outside of the Democrat National Convention. I guess the answer is yes. Speaking of which, bought a couple of boxes of .223 today, topping off my supplies and I’m taking my Brother Inlaw to the range tomorrow. He’s never held a gun before and wants to… Read more »

LC Darth Scoundrel
LC Darth Scoundrel

Very rarely do you ever see such a textbook example of “target selection FAIL” The four rules according to Col. Cooper: 1. All guns are always loaded 2. Never point the gun at anything you do not want to kill 3. Keep your cotton-pickin’ boogerhook off the bang switch until you are ready to fire (mighta paraphrased that one a… Read more »

angrywebmaster
angrywebmaster

What we have here is saying the same thing differently. (I was using the phrasing my NRA instructor used) As to your #4, on an outdoor range that is also on the list. This is an indoor commercial range. Whatever is behind the target is whatever the range uses to keep projectiles from exiting the premises in an unauthorized manner.… Read more »

Special Ed
Special Ed

Spats, Tejas and the entire South are seeing a deficit of ammo, as I understand it. Fear not, brother, it is entirely due to overwhelming demand, as even we in the sparsely populated but well-heeled Northwest face similar adversity. I recently checked a plastic bag inexplicably nestled amongst my ammo cans and discovered two presciently purchased bricks of .22LR, the… Read more »

Special Ed
Special Ed

Oops, my bag! I was thinking I was responding to Darth Venomous. AKA King Spatula I, King and Tyrant to us old farts.

Apologies and racist! I must be racist somehow!! Sob!!

FrankOK
FrankOK

LC Darth Scoundrel says: Very rarely do you ever see such a textbook example of “target selection FAIL” The four rules according to Col. Cooper: 1. All guns are always loaded 2. Never point the gun at anything you do not want to kill 3. Keep your cotton-pickin’ boogerhook off the bang switch until you are ready to fire (mighta… Read more »

Darth Venomous
Darth Venomous

Oops, my bag! I was thinking I was responding to Darth Venomous. AKA King Spatula I, King and Tyrant to us old farts.

(chuckle) :em01:

Special Ed
Special Ed

Es tut mir leid! Sorry ’bout that! I (just above) posted something to the effect of “My Fault!” or “My bag!”. My physical security site was responsible for this phrase: “My bag!”. Specifically, I believe (I have no proof, alas, but it fits his profile) Specialist Beverage (“Beaker” to us Site Denizens) was the first one to use the term… Read more »

MikeG
MikeG

Charged with “unlawful possession of a firearm” That wasn’t even his, he was trying to steal it. Technically he WAS in possession of it. Prosecutor is throwing that one in for fun, isn’t he?

Sweet.

LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch
LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch

Holy Weapons Grade Stoopid, Batman! This douchetard is better off dead, lest he harm himself while brushing his teeth one day!

VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher

I’ve been to that store, the name is a lie, one of the highest cost places around.

Igor, Imperial Booby
Igor, Imperial Booby

VonZorch Imperial Researcher @ #11:
Yep, when I was living there (in Portland) I also thought the store’s name was a misnomer…

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.

MikeG says: Charged with “unlawful possession of a firearm” That wasn’t even his, he was trying to steal it. Technically he WAS in possession of it. Prosecutor is throwing that one in for fun, isn’t he? Sweet. Yep, terminal grade stupid. …not to mention First Degree Felony Stupid. Better than mine. LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch says: Holy Weapons… Read more »

Princess Natasha, Imperial Koch-monger
Princess Natasha, Imperial Koch-monger

Let us all pause and pray to whatever deity each of us chooses to claim allegiance to that this abysmally cluefucked fucktardian douche-slurper has not managed to reproduce. When they sentence him, may castration be on the list of punishments, because Mother Earth cannot afford another idiot added to what is already critical mass. Amen.

LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
LC Sir Clambake, Imperial Black Ops Technician, K.o.E.
VonZorch Imperial Researcher
VonZorch Imperial Researcher
Radical Redneck
Radical Redneck

Let us all pause and pray to whatever deity each of us chooses to claim allegiance to that this abysmally cluefucked fucktardian douche-slurper has not managed to reproduce

I’m afraid he already has. 🙁