And What The Fuck could possibly go wrong with this shit???

Don’t Be Alarmed by the Drone Blimps Hovering Over D.C. They’re Here to Stop Cruise Missiles

If America is attacked, we might be saved by blimps. No, not state-of-the-art jet fighters that can fly well beyond the speed of sound. But blimps: lumbering, relatively jovial blimpsthe manatees of aviation.

Within a year, a pair of souped-up $2.7 billion blimps (price includes R&D) will be floated 10,000 feet above the District of Columbia and act as a 340-mile-wide eye in the sky, detecting incoming missiles and the like.

What are they gonna do?  Shove Weiners dick up Jerry Nadlers (Communist-NY) fat ass and pump him full of lighter-than-air bullshit?

Now, it is time for implementation. Or, as he puts it, “[We’re] getting away from the Ph.D. engineer types running the system to the 20- or 25-year-old soldier running the system.”

Great, are they going to use Microsoft Flight Simulator X for training?  Or is Obongo going to use the live feed of what goes on in the back alleys of DuPont Circle for his personal pleasure?  Kleenex and Astroglide provided by the US taxpayer.

Be sure to read the comments.  They’re priceless.

The sooner I get the fuck out of this insane asylum and back to the Upper Midwest the better.

 

20 comments

  1. 1
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Blimps, huh? Sure hope the enemy doesn’t decide to attack in bad weather or high winds. Naaaah… that’ll never happen.
    – Crews of the Akron, Macon, and Shenandoah

  2. 2

    satellites? don’t we have satellites that can detect missile launches?

    oh, I know…..this is all we can afford because of the eeeeeevil Republicans and their sequestration.

  3. 3
    Terrapod growls and barks:

    Light – if you are driving back to sanity (upper midwest) stop by my place in SW lower MI for a brewski and free meal :em01:
    I work in industry that sells to governments and it is not confined to this country – it is a world wide sickness with the two sides of the same coin – liberalism and Muslim fanatics.

  4. 4
    Cougar1978 growls and barks:

    Blimps? Yeah, the Hindenburg would have done great as a barrage balloon!

    BOOM!

    Oh the humanity!

  5. 5

    Reading through the articles linked to – The key word here is OTH – or Over the Horizon radar coverage, that these things supposedly provide. It’s an Early Warning system that can also provide fire-control to GBI or Ground Based Interceptors. And Just like when you watch a drag race on TV or at your local strip…when it comes to missile defense, Reaction time is everything.

    Cruise Missile defense is a thorn in the side of any air defense plan, and as you go closer to any urban city setting like D.C it get’s magnified a great deal. So I understand the theory of what these things are supposed to do.

    As to how effective this 2.7 billion outlay of tax payers money is going to be – who knows? I personally think – and have experience with this sort of environment – enough so, that my guy reaction to it is – WTF? There are systems already in the field and being used that can provide this sort of OTH coverage.

    It seems, according to the articles, they are being touted as more cost effective vs. having an AWACS on station over D.C 24/7 – which okay I can see that, but there’s other tech out there that can provide the same coverage and it doesn’t involve flying aircraft 24/7, so why cough up 2.7 Billion for what amounts to a redundant system?

    The most glaring counter argument to having these things I would think is the simple fact that cruise missiles don’t just magically appear out of thin air. Be it a SCUD or a Tomahawk those things take a lot of support mechanisms to actually work. Trucks and launch platforms specifically built for them have to move them around, there has to be some sort of Radar and fire control and guidance – the support crews need vehicles, etc. etc. in short, Johnnie Jihad isn’t going to just pop off a cruise missile from Hoboken NJ and hit D.C not unless a whole bunch of intel people are asleep at the switch – likewise with the Aegis systems on ships off the Eastern Seaboard – an adversary is going to play hell getting one launched off of a ship.

    I suspect what happened is this program was funded under the Bush admin, probably tucked into one of the defense spending bills that some Senator tied up with Raytheon pushed. I know the basic tech they are using has been around for at least 6 years – it’s being used here in the sand pit, and has been for quite some time, so this isn’t any new system, and it’s just now being fielded there in D.C after of course, a bunch of “PhD’s” spent a lot of time and money adapting that same tech to use over D.C.

    Short version – it’s a boondoggle.

  6. 6
    LC Old Dog growls and barks:

    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondant @ #:
    The precise type of boondoggle here is a “Contract Stretcher” to keep contractor jobs in somebodies district longer! :em02:

  7. 7
    Draven32 growls and barks:

    So they are suddenly concerned about someone using cruise missiles on DC? I thought everything was ok and tha werld lurrrved us because of pResident Zero.

  8. 8

    LC Old Dog says:

    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondant @ #:
    The precise type of boondoggle here is a “Contract Stretcher” to keep contractor jobs in somebodies district longer!

    Ding – Ding we have a winner. Within a year or so whaddya want to bet that the Military turns this entire thing over to Raytheon …lock stock and barrel -including operations.

  9. 9
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Now that I’ve had some time to think about it, anything that sets up a scenario whereby a blimp pilot could go rogue and pull a Black Sunday on one of the seats of power is kinda awesome.

  10. 10
    rickn8or growls and barks:

    Is this the same kind of radar-in-a-tethered-balloon thing that was used down on the border to spot illegals and such until it got to be too effective?

  11. 11

    rickn8or says:

    Is this the same kind of radar-in-a-tethered-balloon thing that was used down on the border to spot illegals and such until it got to be too effective?

    That would explain why they can’t use it at the border. That kind of technology is inherently racist.

  12. 12
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    I may be just an English major — but I look at that thing and I think, “Gigantic Floating Target.”

    Johnny Jihad would just have to have a buddy close to the blimp to fire a SAM, and POP goes the weasel.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSuR2IgnimA

    Raytheon Guys, y’all can do better than this (even tho I’m kinda partial to blimps and zeppelins). I mean, come on. Also, we already have AWACS, and they do, I think, the same job.

  13. 13
    LC Old Dog growls and barks:

    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondant @ #:
    LC Beaker, Imperial Photographer @ #:
    CISSnarl5.7, I would bet you no more than six months to convert to full contractor status.

    Beaker, they are still flying at the Border locations just under a more deniable money pot! Tucson sector i can vouch for as flying every minute weather permits. The Ft. Huachuca blimp is damn near in my back yard! :em01:

  14. 14
    VAconservative growls and barks:

    Personal experience, and decades of cynicism lead me to believe that clearing out the boondoggles/contract stretchers could do a lot to trim the DOD budget and actually increase effectiveness of our forces. They would not be tasked with manning such boondoggles. They would not be tied up wracking their little bureaucratic brains trying to write reports to justify the unjustifiable.

  15. 15
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    Pfft. This has nothing to do with detecting missiles, it’s an excuse to have visual surveillance on the serfs.

  16. 16

    LC Old Dog says:

    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondant @ #:
    LC Beaker, Imperial Photographer @ #:
    CISSnarl5.7, I would bet you no more than six months to convert to full contractor status.

    Beaker, they are still flying at the Border locations just under a more deniable money pot! Tucson sector i can vouch for as flying every minute weather permits. The Ft. Huachuca blimp is damn near in my back yard!
    LC Old Dog recently posted..Texas Ford Truck Recall

    but aren’t blimps kind of obvious? I mean, if I was an illegal, I’d go where the blimp ain’t…..

  17. 17
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery @ #:

    but aren’t blimps kind of obvious? I mean, if I was an illegal, I’d go where the blimp ain’t…..

    Just wait until there are high winds or storms.

  18. 18
    LC Old Dog growls and barks:

    Fa Cube Itches says:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery @ #:

    but aren’t blimps kind of obvious? I mean, if I was an illegal, I’d go where the blimp ain’t…..
    Just wait until there are high winds or storms.

    Problem with dodging the blimp is that g-d awful radar! The storms are indeed the best bet to be sure. Then all you have to worry about is the flash floods, they get a few every monsoon season! :em05:

  19. 19
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Methinks we could be getting the subtext on this all wrong.
    1 Just Who does the Washington clique consider to be “the enemy?” Why they are the impoverished beleaguered former middle class who can’t afford to fly and the Social Conservatives who refuse to be groped and won’t. So the Beltway Cap is designed to spot Church buses, pickup trucks, and tapped out taxpayers on the ground from getting at them. And if the elite snots think we’re mad, there’s an extremely militant Tuesday afternoon Canasta club revving up to restore those Part B Medicare subsidies being taken From them by those FDRmocrats they’ve been voting in since 1946 and have recently discovered that Their Party neither needs nor wants Them anymore.
    By the way. Remember the last time the Government got Really Scared of somebody Outside of I 495? There was this A10 pilot who disappeared with his ship and the Clintons had to spend 2 Whole Days in that deep bunker under the West Wing until he was found after crashing into the mountains.

  20. 20
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    LC Spare Parts @ #:

    By the way. Remember the last time the Government got Really Scared of somebody Outside of I 495?

    I remember lots of running and screaming in mid-Septemeber a dozen years ago, followed shortly thereafter by a certain reticence in opening mail.