Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!

After years of service as the standard bearer for the demise of organized journalism, Helen Thomas, at age 92, will revert back to original form as a minor demon of Hell, and slither back to that much warmer climate that serves as her immortal home.

129149843700534433

Never one to waste even a pico-second concerned with her outward appearance, and whose obvious lack of intimate relations with members of the opposite sex would embarrass Mother Teresa, Thomas haunted the White House Press Corp. for over 50 years.

Auschwitz_HelenThomas2

She is perhaps best remembered for her deeply anti-Semitic rhetoric, at one point responding to a Rabbi’s question regarding what the Israelis should do, she famously said, “Get the hell out of Palestine.” She was blatantly and publicly disgusted with President George Bush, at one point quoted in the newspaper for saying “I’m covering the worst President in history”, a comment clearly made with no knowledge of the future.

She is an iconic representation of everything that has gone wrong in journalism today, and she will only be missed by radicalized Islamic splodey-dopes. It is a shame that the rest of her cohort of fifth columnists in the fourth estate are not also in their 90′s. I am afraid we do not have the time to wait for their natural demise.

59 comments

  1. 1
    LC Draco growls and barks:

    FOIST…

    And no tears will be shed in my house. She was a Jew hater and, like Foxnews just said, she didn’t die “with her boots on”, since she had to resign after her comments.
    LC Draco recently posted..ARSOF 2022 Campaign of Learning: Firebird DemonstrationMy Profile

  2. 2

    Well in honor of such a auspicious occasion, I’ll throw open the Imperial Liqueur Cabinet and declare an Open Bar Celebration! :em01:

  3. 3
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I come not to praise Helen Thomas, but to bury her…good and deep…say 12′-25′ deep…in a superfund site…in Iran.
    :em01:
    A hateful and evil bitch she was, she just lost control of her verbal filters when she voiced her comments on Israel. She was simply saying what most of the media thinks. Good riddance!
    :em07:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..Ding Dong the Witch of Washington is DEAD!My Profile

  4. 4
    bruce growls and barks:

    one bless commie liar!

  5. 5

    regarding her death?
    I just feel

    nothing

  6. 6
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    Hell has its newest resident, no doubt keeping Trayvon company

  7. 7
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Never one to waste even a pico-second concerned with her outward appearance…

    Obviously she wasted enough to put lipstick on. :em04:

  8. 8
    rickn8or growls and barks:

    Somewhere, the most junior mortician in the company is standing outside the preparation room, weeping uncontrollably about his choice of career.

    Sucks to be the last one hired, doesn’t it?

  9. 9
    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan growls and barks:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery says:

    regarding her death?
    I just feel

    nothing

    Exactly. I will not revel in her demise, nor will I shed a tear. Her antisemitic screeching made her nothing in life, I see no reason to consider her anything else in death.

  10. 10
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    “BC, the Imperial Torturer wasn’t available for comment, stricken with inconsolable grief.”

  11. 11
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    Is there some way Eric Holder can indict George Zimmerman for this?

  12. 12

    LC Gunsniper says:

    “BC, the Imperial Torturer wasn’t available for comment, stricken with inconsolable grief.”

    :em05:

  13. 13
    Eric Praline growls and barks:

    LC Gunsniper says:

    “BC, the Imperial Torturer wasn’t available for comment, stricken with inconsolable grief.”

    He still has Nancy Lugosi, Rosie O’Lardass, and Mikey Moore-on, but a loss like that has to be devastating. I would say we can still remember the good times, but thankfully the Brain Bleach keeps that from happening.

  14. 14
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    To quote Rodgers & Hammerstein:

    The daisies in the dell
    will give out a different smell
    Because Pore Helen is underneath the ground.

  15. 15

    Fa Cube Itches says:

    The daisies in the dell
    will give out a different smell
    Because Pore Helen is underneath the ground.

    poor daisies…..I pity the worms that will feed on that carcass as well…….yuck

  16. 16
    VonZorch Imperial Researcher growls and barks:

    LC Gunsniper @ #:9
    You do know that it is a very bad idea to bait BC that way.

  17. 17
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    VonZorch Imperial Researcher @ #15:

    Yeah.

    What’s your point? :D

  18. 18
    Cougar1978 growls and barks:

    I wouldn’t give this shrill propagandist’s passing too much thought. However, I would not be surprised if someone played “Tramp The Dirt Down,” in her honor. Bashing Thatcher will boomerang, libtards. That is all.

    Oh, and in other news, the libtards are getting the vulnables to boycott Disneyland and Disneywold and Florida cuz that’s all white centered parts of the world….. Can we kill the race baiters when it’s open anarchy? Please?

  19. 19
    LC Guy S growls and barks:

    You still remember your days as an Airman Apprentice do you *grin*!!rickn8or @ #:8

    And as far as the late Ms Thomas goes….it isn’t deep, far, or hot enough. @$*#%*!! anti-semite bitch!!

  20. 20
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    Chew on this, assholes. Hope your brain bleach supply hasn’t been replaced with pure water. :em05:

    HelenThomasValentine
    BC, Imperial Torturer recently posted..Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!My Profile

  21. 21
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    Cougar1978 @ #:

    Cougar, if word gets out that the followers of those race-baitin’ poverty pimps aren’t visiting FL, the tourism industry won’t be able to keep up with the flood of non-Idiotarian tourists.

    :em01:
    BC, Imperial Torturer recently posted..Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!My Profile

  22. 22
    mousseman growls and barks:

    Probably one of the few journalists which never made it to Germany since she would likely have run afoul of the hate-speech laws there.

  23. 23
    DJ Allyn, MPSE growls and barks:

    I see the mourning has begun.

    I got another point on my The 2013 Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool on Stiffs.com

    Up next: Justin Beiber…
    DJ Allyn, MPSE recently posted..Loser ~ BeckMy Profile

  24. 24
    NR Pax growls and barks:

    BC, I despise you. I mean that from the bottom of my dark heart. Not for posting that image. But for posting it when I have an alcohol deficit in my house and my favorite store is closed.

    Up next: Justin Beiber…

    You’re just as cruel for giving me something to look forward to.

  25. 25
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    DJ Allyn, MPSE @ #:

    Up next: Justin Bieber…

    You’re just being a tease. :em04:
    BC, Imperial Torturer recently posted..Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!My Profile

  26. 26
    rickn8or growls and barks:

    Guy, just remembering when VA-42 borrowed a bird from VA-34 and was only gonna drive it around the bounce pattern. Fifteen minutes after takeoff, they took two seagulls through the nose radome.
    Later, in the AQ shop, all the non-rates had their ID cards out, seeing who was gonna have to go out and pick disassembled seagull out of their boxes in the nose radome.
    Sure glad I was an AT2 that day…

    Also, congrats to Deej on the Dead Pool.

  27. 27

    Jeez BC :em06:

    Like I said before, think of the poor worms that are gonna eat that.

  28. 28
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery @ #:

    Jaybear, think of all the poor worms that have been eating that over the past 6 or 7 decades. :em05:
    BC, Imperial Torturer recently posted..Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!My Profile

  29. 29
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat.

    No I will not translate it for you.

  30. 30

    BC, Imperial Torturer says:

    Jaybear, think of all the poor worms that have been eating that over the past 6 or 7 decades.

    I see your laughing emoticon and raise you two

    :em05: :em05: :em05:

  31. 31
    DJ Allyn, MPSE growls and barks:

    BC, Imperial Torturer says:

    You’re just being a tease. :em04:

    Mark my words, my fine forested friend, Justin Beiber is going down this year.

    If he dies in a car crash, he will be the modern day James Dean. Otherwise, he is going to die in an overdose or he is going to die in some other “accident”.

    At the VERY least he will end up in jail for a crime that will HAVE to require his deportation back to Canada.

    For the record — I saw Cory Monteith two days before they found him dead, and I can tell you that he was OBVIOUSLY nodding out on heroin. It was sad, considering that he was a really nice guy, and I had been tasked a few months ago to do some ADR work for Glee for him while he was in BC.

    I won’t lose ANY sleep over Justin. But I AM sad about Cory. I had a long conversation with him about drug addiction, and he was REALLY trying to beat it. Justin, on the other hand is beyond all hope. He is just a spoiled brat that probably will deserve whatever demise he reaches.

    Oh, and as far as Helen Thomas? I still invoke my “don’t speak ill of the dead routine. May she find peace and all of that……

    Carry on with your “wake”

    Oh, and I really need to talk to someone about fixing the ability to post images here….

    Simple fix. Text me. You know who you are, reach out…
    DJ Allyn, MPSE recently posted..Loser ~ BeckMy Profile

  32. 32

    Oh, and as far as Helen Thomas? I still invoke my “don’t speak ill of the dead routine. May she find peace and all of that……

    Never laugh when a hearse goes by- cuz’ you may be the next to die….
    The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out – The worms play Pinocle on Helen’s snout….

    That better?? :em03:
    LC IB CiSSnarl5.7 Imperial Foreign War Correspondant recently posted..Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!My Profile

  33. 33
    LC Xystus growls and barks:

    Never laugh when a hearse goes by…

    Ideally you’re in the funeral business & it’s your hearse! :em01:

  34. 34
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    I’ve been told that they’re having to do Carbon Dating on it. They think it really died back in 1997.

    BC, Imperial Torturer @ #:

    Someone is getting famous

  35. 35
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    LC Xystus @ #:

    in the funeral business

    C’mon! It’s got the word “fun” right in it! And the advertising writes itself: “You won’t bereave our prices!”

  36. 36
    HempRopeAndStreetlight growls and barks:

    Fuck that execrable old cunt, I hope she’s slow-cooking in a place befitting her despicable life.

    My only regret, is that I didn’t hate her more.

    Good riddance to the mouth of Sauron.

  37. 37
    LC Gunsniper growls and barks:

    BC, Imperial Torturer @ #20:

    :em01: :em01: : :em01: :em05:

    I’ll wager that ol’ Hellen will actually look better after a years worth of decomposition.

  38. 38
    watchyerlane growls and barks:

    Sorry, I can’t find anything even remotely nice to say. Speak ill of the dead? Sorry, she has not earned such respect. Her partisan silliness poorly disguised as journalism has deemed herself unworthy of any quarter. Not to mention her out and out anti-semitism has indeed earned her the Express Lane to the Fire Down Below of which she will never escape.
    I too think she has been dead at least a year or more.

  39. 39
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Anti-semites, racists, bigots, “class warriors”, they’re all the same to me.

    Let them burn in hell where they belong, and may their suffering be beyond what our minds can possibly comprehend.

    We all put on our pants the same way every morning, one bloody leg at a time. Anybody who believes otherwise can go die screaming in a fucking fire. Just please record it so that I may enjoy their torment.
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!My Profile

  40. 40
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery says:

    Fa Cube Itches says:
    The daisies in the dell
    will give out a different smell
    Because Pore Helen is underneath the ground.
    poor daisies…..I pity the worms that will feed on that carcass as well…….yuck

    “the worms crawl in,
    the worms crawl out,
    the worms play pinochle on her snout,
    …”

  41. 41
    LC Guy S growls and barks:

    DJ, you picked Bieber over Lindsay Lohan?

    Rick, sometimes rank does have it’s privileges!

    And as we are still in a period of mourning for the passing of Ms Thomas, I offer the following:

    Helen Thomas’s body lies a molder’n in the grave
    Helen Thomas’s body lies a molder’n in the grave
    Helen Thomas’s body lies a molder’n in the grave
    Stinking to high heaven!

  42. 42
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Emperor Misha I @ #:

    Anti-semites, racists, bigots, “class warriors”, they’re all the same to me.

    I tend to group them all together under the term “Vermin.” If they’re are in a city, and mostly they are, I call them “Urban Vermin.”
    Eventually, we’re going to have go with the Bracken Pest Control Solution.

    And, as an aside, my new Crossbreed holster arrived yesterday and I’m trying to break it in. It’s the first IWB holster I’ve ever had and it is taking some getting used to.
    :em03:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..Ding Dong the Witch of Washington is DEAD!My Profile

  43. 43
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I recently heard that Thomas is going to be planted in Detroit. Somehow, that just seems so right to me.
    :em01: :em05:
    angrywebmaster recently posted..Ding Dong the Witch of Washington is DEAD!My Profile

  44. 44
    LC SecondMouse growls and barks:

    In honor of this auspicious occasion, I will share a few of my favorite quotes made by far more eloquent people in similar situations:

    “There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” – Jack E. Leonard

    “I’ll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.” – Irving Brecher

    “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

    “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow

    “I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

    “I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.” – Mark Twain

    “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

    “She’s got such a narrow mind, when she walks fast her earrings bang together.” – John Cantu

    “She’s the sort of woman who lives for others — you can tell the others by their hunted expression.” – C. S. Lewis

    “She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.” – James Matthew Barrie

    “She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.” – Will Rogers

    “She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.” – Jonathan Swift

    “She’s descended from a long line her mother listened to.” – Gypsy Rose Lee

  45. 45
    0007 growls and barks:

    I’ll go with a “Cory who?; Bieber who?; and Thomas what?”

  46. 46
    bruce growls and barks:

    the eagles are the best rock-n-roll band ever!

  47. 47
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    bruce @ #:
    They sure are up there in the Top 3, that’s for sure. It just so happens that the family and I saw an incredible Eagles tribute band playing at The Bandshell in Daytona Beach on the 4th of July. They’re called Alter Eagles and, if you didn’t know it wasn’t the original Eagles on stage, you’d swear that Don, Glen and the rest of the guys were gettin’ their groove on.

    :em01:
    BC, Imperial Torturer recently posted..Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!My Profile

  48. 48
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Too bad she wasn’t a guy. If she had been, we could all join in the traditional funeral hymn:

    Hiiiiiiiiiiim!
    Hiiiiiiiiiiim!
    Fu-uu-uuuck him!

    If memory serves, that one was created by Pope Peter I, but I may be slightly off.

  49. 49

    DJ Allyn, MPSE says:

    BC, Imperial Torturer says:
    You’re just being a tease.
    Mark my words, my fine forested friend, Justin Beiber is going down this year.
    If he dies in a car crash, he will be the modern day James Dean. Otherwise, he is going to die in an overdose or he is going to die in some other “accident”.
    At the VERY least he will end up in jail for a crime that will HAVE to require his deportation back to Canada.
    For the record — I saw Cory Monteith two days before they found him dead, and I can tell you that he was OBVIOUSLY nodding out on heroin. It was sad, considering that he was a really nice guy, and I had been tasked a few months ago to do some ADR work for Glee for him while he was in BC.
    I won’t lose ANY sleep over Justin. But I AM sad about Cory. I had a long conversation with him about drug addiction, and he was REALLY trying to beat it. Justin, on the other hand is beyond all hope. He is just a spoiled brat that probably will deserve whatever demise he reaches.
    Oh, and as far as Helen Thomas? I still invoke my “don’t speak ill of the dead routine. May she find peace and all of that……
    Carry on with your “wake”
    Oh, and I really need to talk to someone about fixing the ability to post images here….
    Simple fix. Text me. You know who you are, reach out…
    DJ Allyn, MPSE recently posted..Loser ~ Beck

    Deej, I really liked Cory Monteith. It’s a damn shame. The guy was wonderfully talented! It is horribly sad. Poor guy.

    As for Helen… I can’t muster any sympathy or any feelings at all for that fucking, cunthumping hag.
    LC Nicki the Resident Misanthropic Bitch recently posted..Captain Legthrill Speaks for All White PeopleMy Profile

  50. 50
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    She’s no fucking use to anyone,
    She’s no fucking use at all.
    She ought to be publicly shat on,
    She ought to be publicly shot,
    She ought to be tied to a west country shit house
    And left there to fucking well rot!
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..Absolutely NOT Activist Liberal Fascist “Judge” Moves to Ensure Union BenniesMy Profile

  51. 51
    kmhendu growls and barks:

    bruce says:

    the eagles are the best rock-n-roll band ever!

    BC, Imperial Torturer says:

    bruce @ #:
    They sure are up there in the Top 3, that’s for sure. It just so happens that the family and I saw an incredible Eagles tribute band playing at The Bandshell in Daytona Beach on the 4th of July. They’re called Alter Eagles and, if you didn’t know it wasn’t the original Eagles on stage, you’d swear that Don, Glen and the rest of the guys were gettin’ their groove on.

    BC, Imperial Torturer recently posted..Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!

    </bl

    No way! Stones, Doors and Floyd

  52. 52
    Cougar1978 growls and barks:

    Jaybear, Colonel of Imperial Ancient Artillery says:

    Jeez BC

    Like I said before, think of the poor worms that are gonna eat that.

    I agree! DAMN YOU, BC! Damn youuuuu!

  53. 53
  54. 54
    BC, Imperial Torturer growls and barks:

    kmhendu @ #:

    The Stones & Doors were good at their very best, mediocre most the time and horrible at their very worst. Floyd we can agree on. Your mileage may vary.
    BC, Imperial Torturer recently posted..Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead!My Profile

  55. 55

    BC, Imperial Torturer says:

    The Stones & Doors were good at their very best, mediocre most the time and horrible at their very worst. Floyd we can agree on. Your mileage may vary.

    Up until Friday night, I always said that the best concert I EVER went to was the Stones in 1972. They had just released Exile on Main Street and they were at the top of their game then. I judged every concert I attended on the benchmark set by that one. Well, I saw paul McCartney play on Friday night, and a new benchmark was set. He played non-stop for 3 hours, doing mostly Beatles songs and backed by a very tight and rocking band, when he came out for the first of three encores he brought out the members of NIrvana (minus Kurt Cobain of course) and they rose to the occasion and backed him up perfectly, they played with him for all three encores. Hands down the best concert I have ever been to, good enough to knock the Stones ’72 show to number 2 on my list.

    never thought THAT would happen.

  56. 56
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    Radical Redneck @ #:
    There is a special place in hell for you. Anyway… Hairaldo needs to fucking die. After he fucked over the military by showing where in the fuck they were on live fucking teevee, why in the fuck didn’t one of that unit shoot his ass ?? :em03:

  57. 57

    DJ Allyn, MPSE says:

    Mark my words, my fine forested friend, Justin Beiber is going down this year.

    The only bad side to that possible outcome is having to deal with all the hysterical pre-teens wailing and screeching loud enough to wake his dead ass up.

  58. 58

    Mark my words, my fine forested friend, Justin Beiber is going down this year.

    Leave the poor girl alone.

    If she does die there will be mixed emotions in my house. One of the Princesses loves her, although she denies it, while the other takes after me and hates her. Funny thing though, when Bieber was dating Selena Gomez I was very surprised to find out that Selena was a carpet muncher.
    LC 0311 Sir Crunchie I.M.H., K.o.E. recently posted..Sunday Picture Open ThreadMy Profile

  59. 59
    Special Ed growls and barks:

    ‘The band is just fantastic, that is really what I think;
    oh,by the way, which one’s Pink?’