He’s Home

Our dear beloved Caveman has gone home. His dear Mary was waiting. They will never be separated again. Continued prayers for Erin. She’s lost both parents in short order. I know she’s going to have a tough time, despite her Dad doing all he could to make sure she was taken care of.

I gathered a few lines from some of his beautiful emails that spoke to me about the kind of man he was. Our world is emptier because he’s no longer here, but fuller for his having lived among us.

Sadness, regret, even remorse too. I wish I had done better. Yet such things remain past now, and I must leave them there……Mysterious sensations.
But to remember one is human too, with human weakness.
A sense of purpose sought…….
Yet why are my eyes full of tears?
I will not run from this…taking it head on.
I do not run anymore…….neither through distraction or recreation.
Those days are gone…
To all things in their time………..
So I simply process thoughts and wait….
Deep in thought, I do that a great deal now….
I don’t even like going to sleep at night……and I don’t do it well.
Those nights have been few……and I smile at the thought.
Looking at the back yard…..and remembering…..
As I have said, so often in the search for what we want…
we forget what we have…..
Until you don’t have it any more…………….
And then you know………..then you know……
As a child, all I wanted to do was love and share…..
The world will not permit that, so you learn and grow…..and cope in whatever chosen manner suits you.
I write a lot, that remains my catharsis….and my chosen way…..
My faith in and love of God has never been stronger….
Some have questioned why….I never did, or have.
How could any God allow……?
Remembering what happened to Jesus, for worse than my time…
And it was chosen
For another….

Rest well Kent.

54 comments

  1. 1
    LC Ogrrre growls and barks:

    Oh, crap! That’s not the first thing one wants to read in the morning. In fact, that is not something one wants to read, ever! Kent fought the good fight. His race is over, and he has received his crown. May God grant strength, comfort and healing to Erin and to the rest of us left behind. We all can take comfort that he no longer has to experience pain, nor suffering anymore. He may have to do a lot of face palming due to our foibles and weaknesses, but I am sure he’ll be as understanding as his Master is forgiving.

  2. 2
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    Kent is now Happy. May ye all be at peace. Nomine Patris, Fili et Spiritus Sanctu, amen.

  3. 3
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    His lot is better fortune than ours. For He will not have to endure what is to come in this world.

  4. 4

    Mary hit the jackpot when she got Caveman.

    Guys, if you really want to know what women want out of you…look at him. He might have wavered. Might have even thought of calling it quits when their lives were at their lowest, but he stood firm. He didn’t walk out. He didn’t write her off. Even after she was gone, he made sure she was never disappointed in him. He had his rough edges, and I’m sure he pissed her off royally on many an occasion, but his commitment to her would not be broken. A man that would do the right thing, no matter how it hurt. No matter how much he wanted to say “F*** It. I don’t want to do this anymore”. He never wanted to let her or his G-d down. He stumbled, but he got back up. When his world caved in, he still stood…bent for sure, but still standing and made sure his daughter was taken care of the best he could. I know he would probably reach down and smack the crap out of me for making him sound better than he was, but no matter his faults, his faith, commitment and love sure as hell made up for them. If more men were that determined, we’d be in a heck of alot better shape than we are.

  5. 5
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    Rest in Peace my elder brother in arms, you have earned it. These tears that flow down my cheeks are not from dust but from respect of a real man. Rest well my brother.

  6. 6
    harleycowboy growls and barks:

    Lady M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper G.L.O.R

    I think you’ve said it all. My condolences to the family and prayer has been sent.

  7. 7
    Orion growls and barks:

    🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁

    I think DJ said it best…

    Just…damn. 🙁

    Orion

  8. 8
    LadyRaven growls and barks:

    Years ago, maybe it was with Papa’s death, one of my siblings said – “There’s another star in the sky tonight.”
    And so we have said as we have lost Mama, and a sister, and others.

    I suspect from all the things said about Kent and Mary, that were you to look up tonight, that his new star would be found shining right beside Mary’s.

  9. 9
    NR Pax growls and barks:

    I saw the title of the post and knew what it was going to say. I only knew him through his posts here but I admired him for remaining so strong during Mary’s illness.

  10. 10
    CaveChild growls and barks:

    I am Caveman’s offspring, Erin.

    Thank you all for the support and kind words. It truly means a great deal to me.

    Dad passed peacefully last night with a nurse and myself by his side. The nurses have been very kind to me. I’m currently working on gathering up his clothing and donating it to the church as his request.

  11. 11
    Delftsman3 growls and barks:

    I feel the selfish sorrow for OUR loss, while trying to have/keep the faith that Kent and Mary are together again at last in a perfect eternity in the presence of God.

    Remember us here in your time of need, Erin. Your dad was a member of this pack, and the Pack always takes care of it’s own.

  12. 12
    LC hilljohnny growls and barks:

    CaveChild @ #:
    let us know if you need help with expenses or anything else.

  13. 13
    Darth Venomous growls and barks:

    What Delfts said, Erin.

    You are a Rottie by birthright, and you are always – always – welcome here.

  14. 14
    TheDailySmug growls and barks:

    I just found your blog and I think it’s great. I’m putting you in my links and I hope you don’t mind.
    http://thedailysmug.blogspot.com/
    http://constitution-coalition.blogspot.com/

  15. 15
    LC FX Phillips growls and barks:

    Much sadness is felt.

    But he is with his beloved now.

    May God grant he and his beloved to be happy for eternity.

  16. 16
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    CaveChild @ #11:

    Darth Venomous @14 said it best. I second his comments.

  17. 17
    Prophet growls and barks:

    Though I am but a mere shadow here, I extend my deepest sympathies to Kent’s family and friends. May he rest easy, and in the company of his beloved Mary and his Lord.

  18. 18
    Lady H growls and barks:

    I’m in shock. Caveman was so wonderful. I will miss reading his comments very much.

    My condolences, Erin. May Christ and His Mother comfort you during this difficult time.

  19. 19
    Lady H growls and barks:

    #1 Ogrrre, one of my favorite Bible verses. 2 Timothy 4:7 .

  20. 20
    LC Roguetek growls and barks:

    CaveChild @ #:

    I owe your father a lot. If you need something, the well is deep, feel free to draw on it. I will provide, if I can.

  21. 21
    LCBrendan growls and barks:

    I did not know Caveman personally..but if this is any help, Shakespeare said it best

    He was a man, take him for all in all,
    I shall not look upon his like again.

  22. 22
    FreeCanuck growls and barks:

    Rest easy, Caveman. We’ll not see your like again as long as we live. But we know you’re waiting for us.

  23. 23

    He was the very picture of the human condition, and an excellent example of fidelity, fortitude, and courage in the face of some of the most painful things life can offer, and I am comforted that he has returned to the embrace of his beloved.

  24. 24

    A most excellent suggestion DJ.

  25. 25
  26. 26
    Eric Praline growls and barks:

    Deepest sympathies to Erin and the family. I hope the knowledge that he’s in the arms of our Lord and his beloved Mary gives them some measure of comfort.

  27. 27
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Just got home to find this…

    My condolences, CaveChild. There is really not a whole lot I can add that somebody else hasn’t already said better, just know that you’ll always have a “home away from home” here.

    And Deej, most excellent idea!

  28. 28
    CaveChild growls and barks:

    Thank you all for your help and kind words

    I have some ideas of what I want to do to give back and help with cancer research. I shall keep you updated Emperor Misha.

    When going through some old photographs I came across one that made me laugh. Dad is sitting there and holding up this tiny tortise shell kitten. You can see a small plastic tub, bottles for kittens, and several little black kitten heads. The other kittens were happy to stay inside the small plastic tub of their world, but this little tortise shell wanted out. I don’t remember how she did it, but she managed to climb out of the tub and Dad caught her before she could fall. He held her up to look at her and make sure she wasn’t hurt. She was one teed off kitten. She hissed at him for thwarting her escape. Dad later commented on what personality she had.

    Dad was quite the character in life. He was very excited and happy the first time he found the Rottweiler. I remember I heard him laughing loudly and we went to investigate. After that he was hooked and has been around ever since.

  29. 29
    Slightly to the right of Gingis Khan growls and barks:

    CaveChild @ #:

    Please keep us all updated. Your father touched my life, and that was without ever meeting in person. I would be honored to contribute what I can to whatever memorial you decide on. Till then I my condolences and prayers are yours.

  30. 30
    Igor, Imperial Booby growls and barks:

    UNDER the wide and starry sky
    Dig the grave and let me lie:
    Glad did I live and gladly die,
    And I laid me down with a will.

    This be the verse you ‘grave for me:
    Here he lies where he long’d to be;
    Home is the sailor, home from the sea,
    And the hunter home from the hill.
    -RL Stevenson

    We’ll miss you, Kent, as much as we miss Mary.

    Your pain is o’er, your journey’s done, the Hardest Race is finally won.
    2 Tim 4:7 indeed, Lady H

    Et Lux Aeterna, my fellow Rottie, and I know that your joy is now full, for you and Mary are Home. Erin, we are here to support you in your loss, so I’m sure we can help you if you need it.

    For some reason, the song phrase keeps running through my mind,
    “Someday when we meet up yonder,
    We’ll stroll hand in hand a- gain.
    And in a land that knows no parting,
    Blue eyes crying in the rain”

    I have a personal friend who is about to go Home due to leukemia, I will do my best to make the journey as stress-free as I can, with what little I can contribute. I will do it in memory of Kent, because I could do very, very little from up here in the Pacific Northwest.

    Again, Erin, we’re here for ya. Thank you for sharing that memory with us.

  31. 31
    Radical Redneck growls and barks:

    Damn, been expecting, and regretting logging in. I knew this would come too soon. 😥

    Erin I’m soooooooooooooooooo sorry. Remember, you are ALWAYS family here and can ask for ANYTHING.

    Godspeed Kent, never will roar a more eloquent booming voice for all us freaks 🙁

  32. 32
    Radical Redneck growls and barks:

    LC LOBO @ #:

    Thanks Lobo – 😥 that made the room dusty (after passing the dumbass ad first 😉 )

  33. 33
    LC Robohobo growls and barks:

    CaveChild – I am sorry for your loss.

  34. 34
    LC Staci GBOR growls and barks:

    Oh good God…hubby is retiring and set me free to my blog buds. I am so sad at this news. Erin, your dad and mom were there for me over the phone during some rough times. I’ve had to refrain from coming here and it really sucks to do so tonight. If my new name does show up, this is Staci. My condolences and prayers. The world lost a good woman and now a good man. So sad.

  35. 35
    LC LOBO growls and barks:

    CaveChild, I was one of those helped by your father. Him and the others here helped get me to see my Mom before she passed. I owe a debt. Not of money, but of Honor. As others have said, you are family. I can never fully repay that debt. But I will do anything I can to help. My knees are hurting, and it’s like looking through a fogged mirror. But I know that your Mom and Dad are with each other again, where there is no more pain, no more sickness, no more death. Yes, this is your family. With all our warts, bald spots, tattoos, and scars. Anything that you need, your brothers and sisters here will do whatever it takes.

    Greg Holden “The Lost Boy”

    I left my home still as a child, I walked a thousand soary miles
    To wait for my father, to gather up his tools
    He said my boy you’ve got to run, don’t wait for me, don’t wait for mum
    We’ll come get you, when it’s safe for us to move

    So I waited many years, held back the pain behind my tears
    For my father, to come find me like he said
    And in that time I was alone, so many years without my home
    I made brothers of a different kind instead

    And at the time I didn’t know, just how hard the wind could blow
    Towards disaster, and the things that I would see
    I never found my father, I never found my mother
    Even would I know in my lifetime I will be

    A hero into the masses, to those born without chances
    There’s a freedom that everyone deserves
    I know there’s greed and there’s corruption
    I’ve seen death and mass destruction
    But I’m telling you, and I hope that I’m heard

    I will not be commanded
    I will not be controlled
    And I will not let my future go on
    Without the help of my soul

    And I will not be commanded
    And I will not be controlled
    And I will not let my future go on
    Without the help of my soul

    And I will not be commanded
    And I will not be controlled
    And I will not let my future go on
    Without the help of my soul

    I will not be commanded
    I will not be controlled
    And I will not let my future go on
    Without the help of my soul

    You are his future, guided by the tennets of the things he taught from his soul.

  36. 36
    Special Ed growls and barks:

    I think differently. I do not mourn the dead, for they are only shut of this strange proving ground. Those who have Passed, and I believe Caveman has Passed The Test, I celebrate as victors; winners of Pan-creation’s Lotto. I do not mourn him, I laugh with joy at his victory despite the handicaps God placed upon him – He knowing his worth.

    I salute you, Erin, for having had so much of his influence. Use it well, it is a rare commodity.

    On another topic: You speak of a Hall of the Honored, and then demand you not be admitted, DJ? Whachoo smokin’, bra? The Emperor can honor whomsoever he pleases! And the very short list of truly stellar Rotties has your name higher on it that I can see here from the cheap seats. Demands in the name of modesty are themselves unbearable hubris, bra.

    But maybe I think so because I’m Special

    Ed

  37. 37
    dcs2244 growls and barks:

    The Caveman’s key is silent. RIP Caveman.

  38. 38
    maxxdog growls and barks:

    Years ago when Caveman first came on the scene here at the Rott he fit right in like a well worn slipper. Make that holster.
    He was immediately a Rottie and shall remain so forever. Thinking back to the conversations between us all and the laughs we shared brings a smile and a tear. We laughed and cried all at the same time and so it continues.Rest in peace my friend.

  39. 39
    BigDogg - Imperial Thread Killer (ITK) growls and barks:

    I cannot add anything that has not already been said here. I only “met” Kent online, and came to know him through his writings here. I have no doubt he is with the Lord, and with his eternal love Mary. The sorrow I feel is for us poor beings left in a world without such a man of character, but I too rejoice for him – for his victory over this broken world and the eternal peace he now has.

  40. 40

    Oh, no! I’ve been so busy keeping up with my own life, I didn’t keep up. Oh, Kent! You will be so missed by everyone who knew you.

    Be at peace, my friend. Be at peace evermore!

  41. 41
    LC Light29ID - The Imperial Asshole growls and barks:

    He’s with Mary again and at Peace with Our Lord Jesus Christ in that Eternal City on the Hill. Rejoice in Kents’ and Marys’ eternal blessing and protection.

  42. 42

    I refuse to mourn for Kent, because to mourn is selfish. I want to mourn because I can no longer have Kent in my life, forgetting that he is instead at home with Mary and that he is no longer suffering. Instead I will use what he has taught me with his strength and dedication to Mary and use it to try and be a better husband, a better father, and a better human being. His friendship demands it. He was an inspiration, and his eloquence in laying his soul bare to his friends during Mary’s, and his own fights, were beautiful testimony to the human spirit.

    Erin, I can offer no words to console you for your loss, which I can not fathom how deep it must be. Even the scriptures I would offer have already been said by my brothers and sisters. Just know that, as so many others here have said, you are our family. Anything we can do, all you need to do is ask. I pray that God can offer you the solace that we mortals can not, and that you will take comfort in the knowledge that your father is at peace with your mother whom he loved so much.

    Many people had suggested to Kent that he should put all of his writings into a book, including some of what he had written when he sobered up. I know that I personally have several hundred emails that should be shared with others so that his strength can serve as the God give inspiration it truly was.

    I’m going to miss you Kent.

  43. 43
    irish19 growls and barks:

    Damn dust!
    Rest in peace. Fair winds and following seas.

  44. 44
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    I know God has blessed him. He and Mary are together again in bliss.

    May God strengthen and comfort their daughter Erin, and keep her faith strong that she will see them when it’s her turn to cross the river Jordan.

    Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling; calling for you and for me … the beautiful hymn (from The Trip to Bountiful.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EgJxPbS9ds

    Ye who are weary, come Home.

  45. 45
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    Here’s a poem by Robert Hayden, to his father.

    THOSE WINTER SUNDAYS

    Sundays, too, my father got up early
    and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold
    then with cracked hands that ached
    from labor in the weekday weather made
    banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

    I’d wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
    When the rooms were warm, he’d call,
    and slowly I would rise and dress,
    fearing the chronic angers of that house.

    Speaking indifferently to him,
    who had driven out the cold
    and polished my good shoes as well.
    What did I know, what did I know
    of love’s austere and lonely offices?

  46. 46
    LC MaxMomFL growls and barks:

    As a stay-at-home-mom type Rottie, I have never had opportunity to meet any of you awesome folks in person. However, I have been around for many years. Through those years your posts and comments have comforted, encouraged and educated me. I would love to see a “memorial park” of sorts for our fallen Rotties. A place were we can view the wit and wisdom they provided and read the well wishes of those of us lucky enough to partake. Caveman, although he wouldn’t know it on this side of eternity, was a beacon of hope for me personally. His love and commitment to his beloved Mary was a shining example in a world of inadequate and selfish human beings. He was a role model for the next generation of husbands and fathers. He was a healing balm for those of us unfortunate to have never experienced a loving and supportive strong man in our childhoods or marriages. He ran his race well. He is with his Lord, his wife and his eternal reward. I morn and I am happy at the same time for his current state. I pray for his daughter and other loved ones who are left with the void of his parting. Peace to us all, Amen.

  47. 47
    Shaitana growls and barks:

    I dropped by to say hello again finally after a long absence and I see this 🙁 I loves his words. I am going to miss him.

  48. 48

    So many ways, I want to be like Caveman was:
    Take the sorrow. Turn it into resolve.
    Take the pain. Turn it into motivation.
    Take the horror. Turn it into inspiration.
    Take the hopelessness. Turn it into another victorious chapter in his book of life.

    His words are burned into my own book now,, and will serve me well,, if I can keep them.
    He was uncanny in his ability to relate his thoughts with such eloquence, pointed relevance, in a time that I would have dissolved into a gibbering mess.
    When my time comes, I’ll be like Caveman, and I’ll be grateful for the strength he left for me in those words.
    Thanks Bro. So long for now.

  49. 49
  50. 50

    To management,

    there is a little donation in the tip jar that I would like to go to Erin.

  51. 51
    CaveChild growls and barks:

    Thank you.

    Dad often joked that he’d want to scare the cats if he could. The beasties have been a little skittery today so I wonder if Dad’s having his fun?

  52. 52
    Templar_Knight growls and barks:

    Ive never been good at this. Never know what to say. I didnt personally know Kent, but I read his postings. He was a smart, talented writer. He will be greatly missed. I am very sorry.

  53. 53

    CaveChild says:

    Dad often joked that he’d want to scare the cats if he could. The beasties have been a little skittery today so I wonder if Dad’s having his fun?

    Knowing Caveman, yup, and enjoying every second of it.

  54. 54
    Cricket growls and barks:

    Prayers of peace for you. I haven’t been around a lot lately, but I have been keeping a sort of vigil for your parents. The other day I heard about his time being short, and all I can say, is thank you. He was truly a gentlebeing with the heart of a lion, and it showed.