Don’t. Fucking. Cut. In. Line!

EVER! (grabbed from Maetenloch’s always excellent Overnight Open Thread)

Fair Warning: The link goes to the Puffington Host but, and it is really strange for us to say this, but we can safely promise that you won’t regret clicking on it.

Short version: Some fuckwit baboon goblin decides to rob a bunch of people standing in line in Atlanta to buy a pair of ridiculously overpriced sneakers. With a gun. This apparently didn’t go over too well with one of the intended victims:

“One of the victims pulled his own handgun and shot the suspect,” Officer John Chafee said in a statement reported by WXIA. “A number of witnesses were interviewed and this appears to be self defense.”

We’ll just sit right here and wait while the whoops and laughter die down. Oh, the goblin assumed room temperature right after he got ventilated, by the way.

**Waits for applause and second round of cheers to die down**

We just thought you should know that as well.

Obviously, we much prefer our scenario as alluded to in the headline, because we absolutely despise motherless bastards who do that and we will mercilessly shoot the hell out of them. In the face. Goblins reading this should make a note of that, particularly considering how much lines will soon become a fact of life in the Obamutopia of Next Tuesday™ that they voted for.

But we digress. The story gets even better.

What did our Righteous Citizen Hero do after having sent off a goblin to where all goblins belong?

who continued to wait on line after the shooting, according to NBC News.

Now THAT’S what “cool as a cucumber” is all about down here!

Yeah, that’s right. He sees goblin, decides that he disagrees with the goblins ideas about wealth redistribution, draws his firearm, shoots the scumbag dead and proceeds calmly to wait in line to buy the damn sneakers he came there for in the first place.

We like to imagine him twirling his handgun around his finger and blowing the imaginary smoke away from the muzzle before re-holstering, but that’s just us.

Way to go!

Thatisall.

11 comments

  1. 1
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    Also at Ace’s Place: a freakin’ hilarious thread inspired by THESE guys.

    A couple of intrepid souls from Free Beacon crashed the NUTROOTS NATION convention in Washington, D.C.

    Highlights: “Boner Guernica” and “Politicians Off My Poontang!”

    http://freebeacon.com/the-rootless-netroots/

    Read. The. Whole. Thang. :em05:
    :em05: :em05: :em05: :em05:

  2. 2
    Tallulah growls and barks:

    That shooting was a “homie” shooting a goblin, BTW. Well, sneakers are seriously important status items, after all.

  3. 3
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Tallulah says:

    That shooting was a “homie” shooting a goblin, BTW. Well, sneakers are seriously important status items, after all.

    Somebody plugged a goblin. That’s a friend of mine. Goblin Control is a Civic Duty 🙂

  4. 4
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    And in New Jersey, we have this disgrace. (make sure to put down any drinks, swallow and take blood pressure medication before watching)

    Mother attacked in her own home and rather then fight it off or scream, takes the beating in order to protect her child who is hiding.

    Thanks to NJ’s policies, the good folks only have the right to be beaten and murdered. Self Defense is illegal unless you are a fat slob of a RINO governor.
    :em08:

  5. 5
    NR Pax growls and barks:

    Tallulah says:

    That shooting was a “homie” shooting a goblin, BTW. Well, sneakers are seriously important status items, after all.

    Maybe so, but I think the odds are good that the shooter’s gun was legal. Stupid as goblins are, I doubt that he would have continued to stand in line if there was something about him that the cops wanted to know.

  6. 6
    bruce growls and barks:

    the homie knew enough to bring his gun to the shoe store and shoot a goblin who wanted the good guys money.now the goblin knows that crime does not pay unless you work for president bongo.

  7. 7
    LC SecondMouse growls and barks:

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we carry.

  8. 8
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Sounds like the man disregarded Little Bill Daggett: “Look son, being a good shot, being quick with a pistol, that don’t do no harm, but it don’t mean much next to being cool-headed. A man who will keep his head and not get rattled under fire, like as not, he’ll kill ya. It ain’t so easy to shoot a man anyhow, especially if the son-of-a-bitch is shootin’ back at you. “

  9. 9

    Emperor Misha I says:

    Somebody plugged a goblin. That’s a friend of mine. Goblin Control is a Civic Duty

    LC SecondMouse says:

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we carry.

    Indeed.

  10. 10
    Cricket growls and barks:

    Seen on a bumper in Florida: “I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.”

  11. 11
    irish19 growls and barks:

    That was a good pick-me-up after reading the news about Caveman.