In the rest of the world, the Baraaarrghh Leftist Junta apparently aren’t all that thrilled with Russia and China not handing over Snowden just because Teh One™ tells them to. It’s almost as if the effeminate, noodle-spined fucktard from Kenya thinks that anybody is still taking his pansy-arse self seriously.

(Yes, we know we’re linking the Daily Beast With Two Backs, but that actually only makes it even more funny, watching them pathetic Leftards trying to make their Ogabessiah look like anything resembling a sentient being with a functioning pair of testicles, a hopeless project if ever we saw one).

U.S. Threatens Russia With Retaliation on Edward Snowden

We can already hear the ground under the Kremlin trembling from our house. With laughter.

U.S. government anger is at a fever pitch with the governments of Russia, Hong Kong and China, which is believed to have played a hand in letting Snowden flee Hong Kong, a semi-autonomous part of the People’s Republic.

State Department officials have promised retaliation for all three governments, but recognize that as of now, Russia is the only one that can still play a helpful role in returning Snowden to the U.S. to face three felony charges filed over the weekend, including two under the Espionage act.

Secretary of State John Kerry said Monday during a trip to India that “without question” there would be consequences for China and Russia for not complying with U.S. requests and emphasized that the U.S. is now focusing on Russia.

“They are on notice with respect to our desires,” Kerry said. “It would be deeply troubling if they have adequate notice and notwithstanding that they make a willful decision to ignore that and not live within the standards of the law.

Isn’t it sweet when the most corrupt, unlawful and illegitimate regime in the entire history of the United States of America suddenly develops an interest in “the standards of the law?” The irony. You could hack it out in chunks and sell it at this point. And from John “Fuckfaced Traitor” Kerry, no less. Oh the jokes, the jokes. They just keep writing themselves.

“I wonder if Mr. Snowden chose China and Russia as assistance in his flight from justice because they are such powerful bastions of internet freedom,” Kerry said.

We’re about to shit ourselves with laughter here, and we believe that Vladimir is as well. This coming from the same treasonous Junta who not only monitors every single thing that any U.S. citizen utters on the Internet and the phone system, but also targets them for destruction by the IRS if they’re not sufficiently worshipful of Ear Leader Ogabe?

Mr. Kettle? We have a pot on line 2 that resembles Lurch rather a lot calling you “black.”

“People may die as a consequence to what this man did,” Kerry said. “It is possible that the United States would be attacked because terrorists may now know how to protect themselves in some way or another that they didn’t know before. This is a very dangerous act.”

As is willfully and knowingly shipping weapons to al-Qaeda terrorists how have, actually, murdered thousands of Americans already. Or doing the same for Mexican drug lords who then proceeded to murder hundreds of innocents with same weapons, all so Ear Leader could blame it on the 2nd Amendment. But let’s not talk about that.

On the one hand we have could harm, and on Barrack Hussein Osama’s side we have “HAVE ALREADY DONE SO THOUSANDS OF TIMES”.

What, the “Arab Spring” sequel in Syria? After Barrarrrfff Hussein Osama already handed over Egypt and Libya to pisslamic terrorists, he now wants to spend our money on arming al-Qaeda murderers who literally, literally, murder people and then cut out their hearts and eat them. Yeah, that’s what is called “cannibalism” and it used to be a big no-no in civilized society. But Brrraarrrrf Hussein al-Osama, having no idea what “civilization” even means, couldn’t care less. Fair warning: Do not even ATTEMPT to watch the videos referred to in that link if you ever plan on having lunch again.

Maybe he’ll send them proper steak knives so they at least can eat the organs of their enemies properly.

We hate to say it, particularly since Putin was the hated adversary back when the Cold War was a thing and we were sworn to fight him and his minions to death back then, but he has a point here. If you feel like you have to support one side or the other, and our Imperial judgment here is “stay out of it and let the shitsacks kill each other as much as they can”, you probably shouldn’t side with the terrorist fucking CANNIBALS.

But that’s what Brrraaarrrfff Osama and John McStain wants to do. Why the fuck couldn’t the North Vietnamese just have finished the fucking job? It would have solved 50% of the problem. Oh yes, that’s right, that’s why they didn’t. Smart people.

At Monday’s State Department briefing, Spokesman Patrick Ventrell said that U.S. officials were driving home the fact that the U.S. has been cooperating with Russia on extraditing Russian criminals out of the U.S. but he didn’t say outright that such cooperation would be ended if Russia doesn’t turn over Snowden.

“You can tell by the level of engagement that we’ve had they we take this very seriously and you can be sure the Russians understand that,” Ventrell said.

Yeah, we’re sure that Putin is fucking shitting his boots right now, because they completely and utterly depend on our cooperation in order to even be able to exist in this Brave New World of Ogabe the Omnipotent.

Seriously. The only head of state in all of the world who might still give a shit about what that jugeared ballet-dancing effeminate waste of skin Ogabe thinks would be the head of Liechtenstein, and we’re not so sure about him either.

At this point, all Volodya needs to do is to sit on his arse and watch Brrrarrrrf Osama make a fucking even bigger fucking fool of his effeminate self. Snowden doesn’t know anything that the FSB doesn’t already know, but the opportunity to shove a finger in the eyes of the single most incompetent president in the history of our nation without fear of any consequences whatsoever is just too precious for any actual leader to pass up on.

On Monday afternoon, the Senate will vote and likely pass a comprehensive immigration reform package (PDF) that includes a provision changing the law to allow Hong Kong to apply for the U.S. Visa Waiver Program, which would make travel from Hong Kong to the U.S. easier.

The State Department ultimately decides which countries can enter the Visa Waiver Program, but the law states that the applicant country “must meet stringent security requirements, including a very low non-immigrant visa rejection rate, reciprocal treatment for U.S. citizens, passports with biometric identifiers, and close bilateral law enforcement cooperation with U.S. authorities,” the Weekly Standard reported.

Nathan Click, a spokesman for Sen. Mazie Hirono (D-HI), who sponsored the amendment making Hong Kong eligible for the Visa Waiver Program, told The Daily Beast Monday that Hong Kong’s path to the Visa Waiver program is far from assured.

Oh holy SHIT! The Chinese who already own us through Brraarrrf Osama’s driving up the national debt by 70% single-handedly are surely going to shit themselves at the merest thought that Brrrarrffff Osama’s disapproval might delay the issuing of visas that are going to be issued anyways by a few days.

The sound you heard was a billion Chinese crapping themselves with hysterical laughter.

Heckuva job, Barack!

You’ve destroyed the economy, brought on the worst depression in the history of our nation, pushed to make low-skilled workers slaves through Benedict Rubio’s Scamnesty, destroyed the best health care system in the world and now, to top it off, you have re-started the Cold War. All in a mere 4+ years.

Congratulations, Ogaberrhoids! You got what you wanted, good and hard. How’s it working out for you?

Now go fuck yourselves. We didn’t vote for the bastard, and if you ever, for a single second, think that we’re going to lift a finger for you when your lives go to hell too, you’re sadly mistaken. And we’ll shoot you all in the fucking face if you as much as think about forcing us to share your pain.

You’re dead to us. And you’ll very soon be dead to everybody and everything else too, you fucking traitors.

Enjoy your “victory”, fucktards. Enjoy.


By Emperor Misha I

Ruler of all I survey -- and then some.

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