Learning How to Live With Having Been a Traitor

Since it’s apparently, and long overdue if you ask us, all the rage for us former commie fuckheads to come clean about our past dalliances with our former “comrades” who’d now love nothing more than to shoot us right between the eyes for our heresy against the Communist/Socialist/Fascist/Progressive Utopia of Next Tuesday, we present a link to a long post by one of our fellow comrades, Mike Vanderboegh, a post in which he tries to atone for the wrongs he, like I, have done.

It’s well worth the read, it certainly made me choke up quite a few times, but that may be because I know how deep the guilt of treason, no matter how long ago, hurts.

Mind you, I never got near the levels that he or Horowitz achieved in their youthful alliance with the inhumane teachings of socialism, but that was merely because I never got the chance. I am deeply ashamed to admit that had I had the opportunity back then, I probably would have jumped at it. That’s the kind of True Believer™ that I was.

But as with sin, it’s not the actual act, it’s the willingness to commit it.

Read it, if you want to understand former leftist “heretics” like myself. Read it, if you want to understand how we never, ever will forgive ourselves for it no matter how much time passes. Read it, if you want to understand how we are more fanatic than even the most patriotic rightists alive when it comes to protect what we see as our personal salvation from the idiocy, mistakes and traitorous acts of our youth. We will not, we CANNOT backslide into that, because we will carry that guilt to our graves.

What we CAN do is to warn others. Warn them about the lure of the siren song of the leftism that we gave in to so long ago. Warn them about the shame of having done so, a shame that will never be washed away.

And use all that we have learned from having been among those leftist, tyrannical swine to destroy them until they are nothing but a bloody footnote in future history books.

Because they must be destroyed. It is, indeed, the only way to be sure.

Liberty and socialism cannot coexist.

And we traitors know that better than most.

Thatisall.

25 comments

  1. 1
    LC Gladiator growls and barks:

    CHILLINGLY…………………………..FIRST

    TO THINK THAT THE BOSS WAS ONE OF THESE……………………………………………………………………..

  2. 2
    LC hilljohnny growls and barks:

    to believe in the system in which you were raised is no sin. to have reached the mental maturity to critically analyze that system and reject it as flawed, then work to make the world a better place, makes you a hero, not a traitor. at least to me.

  3. 3
    FrankOK growls and barks:

    I remember those days – had a few of my own. Along with a few other things in life, the remembrance is very painful on occasion and leaves me wondering what the fuck was in my head and also wondering where it came from considering my upbringing.

    One considers the teachings of Marx as sensible when younger but never realizes the major flaw within them being brushing human nature aside. Sure – everyone working towards the same goal and doing whatever they’re capable of for the good of all sounds really good – and only taking what they need in return for their labors.

    Idyllic, alright, until it becomes apparent the pigs are more equal than the other animals.

    Socialism, communism, Marxism, etcetera and etalia (while in theory the perfection of social order) can’t possibly function as advertised because of the imperfections built into its subjects. Even a computer could not administer such a system because said machine depends on flawed humans for its programming, rendering it as useless and biased as those in charge.

    Mike’s admissions (and those of the boss) leave me praying I didn’t have enough influence to “make a difference” back in those days – and praying that now, after coming to my senses, I can do enough to make it right.

  4. 4
    LC Gregory growls and barks:

    Read that whole post, and damn, was it a not-fun read. I gotta agree with Hilljohnny – you and Vanderboegh both made the logical choices in light of how you had been raised / educated. I know that’s the case with Horowitz, a “red-diaper baby.” That’s why so many of the first ropes have to be for the necks of teachers and college professors.

    But the simple fact is that our greatest enemy is not Communism, collectivism, or even tyranny – it is SIN. The fact that we are ALL Benedict Arnolds before our Creator, who is constantly offering us amnesty if we come in from the cold. As such, Misha, you have nothing more to be ashamed of than ANYONE ELSE.

  5. 5
    LC Mike in Chi growls and barks:

    I was once again brushed with the hand of G_d when I turned from my own morally bankrupt socialist leanings.
    As a Navy vet who participated in Operation Eagle Pull, Operation Frequent Wind and what is being called the last battle of the Viet Nam war, the Mayaquez Incident, I was moved to comment on how far I’ve come from the mental mugging I’d received on 9-11.
    Communism and the collectivist hive mind will always be the refuge to murderers, thieves, liars, traitors and cowards.
    It isn’t Gen. B Arnold who looks over my shoulder and accuses me. It is the spirits of my kin in future’s diaspora that taunt me with accusations of sloth and omissions to action.
    Some listen when I speak in a clarion tone, most hear me as well as any video clip I occasionally rave and rant at, but, with lesser results.
    A Motley Crew we dogs are here and our roots are what defines us, tempers us. Prodigal sons and Freejacks and Grizzled O_Gs with a message born of Empirical knowledge and hard knocks.
    Thanks again Misha, for the venue and the turn. You would’ve been an awesome commie mastermind. Instead, you’re an awesome host to any one of us strays.
    Good times…good times…

  6. 6
    midazian growls and barks:

    Sire,

    Delurking for a moment to post some thoughts. I’ve been reading this site since 2004 or so. You are being far to hard on yourself. God is all about redemption and what happened in the past is forgiven and forgotten. The fact that you are Christian and that you “came to see the light” speaks volumes about your character.

    Just like the apostle Paul had his road to Damascus trip, you too found your moment. And just like Paul who became the most ardent and effective disciple for Christ, you are doing the same for our cause.

    God bless you and all that you do.

    LC Midaz

  7. 7
    LC HJ Caveman82952 growls and barks:

    We all have our dragons, Misha…. I certainly have mine as well, Sire. But those of us having manned up, learning from the experience, we know the true value. It why we fight so fiercely for it, along with honor, a few other things I can remember.
    For I remember a day, as you do too…..
    There is nothing to forgive………

  8. 8
    Tango9 growls and barks:

    “But as with sin, it’s not the actual act, it’s the willingness to commit it.”

    Um… I’ll be the first to raise my hand and say I’m fucked, then. ;)

  9. 9
    Tango9 growls and barks:

    LC Mike in Chi says:

    A Motley Crew we dogs are here and our roots are what defines us, tempers us. Prodigal sons and Freejacks and Grizzled O_Gs with a message born of Empirical knowledge and hard knocks.
    Thanks again Misha, for the venue and the turn. You would’ve been an awesome commie mastermind. Instead, you’re an awesome host to any one of us strays.
    Good times…good times…

    If it ain’t learnt hard, it ain’t learnt.

  10. 10
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Me too. But then I believed all the tripe I was told in kindergarten just like all the superannuated 6 year-olds do today about equality and sharing. And they never told me Then that real life is exactly the opposite. So what’s the answer on how to inculcate maturity in the recalcitrant among us who will do anything to improve their situations except work hard and compete heads up? Proper economic and social perspective will never be adopted by most people so long as all our institutions are run by and for corrupt hypocrites. But that’s the real problem: Isn’t it? And so it will remain because there is No way to guarantee that rewards for effort are seldom adequate relative to expectation. That’s NOT FAIR! Hence our depressed state worsens as those who cry that the loudest regale at dragging all except their rock star heroes down to Their level. And when the welfare checks and goodies no longer come from Mommy Government, I expect to pay in dearest coin when the ants rise from the mound.
    That is all.

  11. 11
    Tango9 growls and barks:

    LC Spare Parts says:

    Me too. But then I believed all the tripe I was told in kindergarten just like all the superannuated 6 year-olds do today about equality and sharing. And they never told me Then that real life is exactly the opposite. So what’s the answer on how to inculcate maturity in the recalcitrant among us who will do anything to improve their situations except work hard and compete heads up? Proper economic and social perspective will never be adopted by most people so long as all our institutions are run by and for corrupt hypocrites. But that’s the real problem: Isn’t it? And so it will remain because there is No way to guarantee that rewards for effort are seldom adequate relative to expectation. That’s NOT FAIR! Hence our depressed state worsens as those who cry that the loudest regale at dragging all except their rock star heroes down to Their level. And when the welfare checks and goodies no longer come from Mommy Government, I expect to pay in dearest coin when the ants rise from the mound.
    That is all.

    When my daughter used to tell me: “That’s not fair!” I’d reply: “No one had you sign a contract when you were born telling you life was fair. It’s not. It’s a fight. Suck it up or lose.”

  12. 12
    midazian growls and barks:

    I had a 5th grade teacher that had a huge sign above the chalkboard that read “life’s not fair, I’m just preparing you for life.”

    I won’t ever forget Mr. Jones.

  13. 13
    Fa Cube Itches growls and barks:

    Tango9 @ #:

    No one had you sign a contract when you were born

    The government did – the “social contract”. It’s the ultimate adhesion contract – you’re bound to it, they aren’t. I had been cynical before I first read the legal opinions on it; as soon as I finished, I made my former self look positively Pollyanna-ish.

  14. 14
    LC MuscleDaddy growls and barks:

    Okay – I find the need to ask this, Misha – and it’s probably something that’s been answered any number of times, but just as probably during one of my radio-silent periods.

    I’ve heard it said that ‘A Liberal is just a Conservative who hasn’t been mugged yet’.

    What was it for you? What was the makeup of that turning point – that moment or event where the weight of your idealism broke-center?

    There’s always one.

    ?

    – MD

  15. 15
    Tango9 growls and barks:

    Fa Cube Itches says:

    Tango9 @ #:
    No one had you sign a contract when you were born
    The government did – the “social contract”. It’s the ultimate adhesion contract – you’re bound to it, they aren’t. I had been cynical before I first read the legal opinions on it; as soon as I finished, I made my former self look positively Pollyanna-ish.

    Heh. You can already imagine my response, so none is necessary. “Social Contract”

    Now that’s funny.

    My brother, Frankie, Italian Mafia thug (read: dumbass) would say: “I gotcher contract right here.”

  16. 16
    LC TerribleTroy growls and barks:

    Wait….. How do we know he’s not a double agent ensnaring us in his evul plan? Muwahahahahahahahahaha.

    I gotta be careful, I could get put on double secret probation…..again….

  17. 17
    bruce growls and barks:

    i did my part by killing foreign commies but i do regret not being allowed to kill our home grown commies.

  18. 18
    single stack growls and barks:

    i did my part by killing foreign commies but i do regret not being allowed to kill our home grown commies.

    Patience grasshopper, patience.

  19. 19

    midazian says:

    The fact that you are Christian and that you “came to see the light” speaks volumes about your character.

    Just like the apostle Paul had his road to Damascus trip, you too found your moment. And just like Paul who became the most ardent and effective disciple for Christ, you are doing the same for our cause.

    That you awoke is what matters.

    Thatisall.

  20. 20

    ” I once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind, but now I see.”
    Lady M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper G.L.O.R recently posted..Daily DevotionalMy Profile

  21. 21
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Tango9 @ #:
    Exactly my point. Altruism is a byproduct of civility not a cause of it. All the little darlings need reality in their faces from day 1 without the smarmy warm fuzzy mythical pap about what the world should be like.

  22. 22
    HempRopeAndStreetlight growls and barks:

    Misha: Everyone was young and stupid once – fuck, do you know how many of my perfectly good chewing teeth are made out of porcelain from a youth wasted on brawling and drinking and rutting around??

    You grew up. You repented. And your knowledge of how the prog-bots work is invaluable. Most of us never were amongst their ranks, and their ass-backwards thought process is mystifying.

    Here sir: http://takimag.com/article/the_tolerance_that_is_only_skin_deep_jim_goad

    You WILL like that link.

  23. 23
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    I was never a leftoid. There was a spell in eighth grade when for about a week I thought I was a Commie, but I was mistaken, and never really veered from my Right Wing Nature. My main lapse is that I failed to do more and sooner.
    Coulda, shoulda enlisted maybe three years earlier, and styed in longer. Of course I would have missed out on a bunch of academic battles and confrontations which taught me much. But I still feel the delay, and that is why I’m a hammerhead.

  24. 24
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    LC MuscleDaddy says:

    What was it for you? What was the makeup of that turning point – that moment or event where the weight of your idealism broke-center?

    There’s always one.

    First off, I apologize for having been gone for so long. The Imperial Family invaded (and much fun was had by all!!!) and my dance card has been quite full as a result.

    What was my turning point?

    I’d be hard pushed to say what it was for sure. It wasn’t just a sudden epiphany where I suddenly realized that all that I thought was right was suddenly wrong.

    Thinking back, I believe that it simmered inside of me for a long time, mainly because the hostility and animosity and unwillingness to accept other points of view as somehow valid, things that I had been taught were the hallmarks of those dread “conservatives” failed to materialize. Sure, there were the occasional assholes, there always will be, but in the main I was always met with friendliness. Also, I couldn’t quite figure out why it was that I constantly had to consult with my comrades to explain why anything the capitalist lackeys said was wrong no matter how logical it might seem on the face of it. My opponents on the other side never seemed to have that problem and, furthermore, they never seemed to have a problem with admitting that some of what I said might be a valid point.

    If I had to point to ONE thing that truly led to me reconsidering all that I had learned but, again, it had probably been building up within me, was when I encountered the wrong side of the Iron Curtain personally. That’s when I saw, right in the face, that everything I’d been taught was a Potemkin village of lies and that the reality behind the empty facades was nothing but misery, want and an even MORE class segregated society than anything we’d ever known in the West.

    I also learned that my comrades in the Soviet Union and elsewhere in that hellish “Utopia” were just like me and weren’t, at least not in public, in the least bit convinced of the Utopia of Next Tuesday™. Yet they still thought that they were living in the best of worlds because, well, they’d been taught that they were by the same masters that I’d been following blindly.

    The difference being that they had never seen anything else, but I had. I knew that the “hell” that they thought the capitalist West was didn’t exist, yet they still somehow, some of them anyway, managed to believe that the very REAL hell that they were living in under Socialism was better than what we had. And I started wondering if, seeing as how the epitome of socialism’s glory was all a big, fat lie that somehow you could still make people believe in, maybe I’d been deceived myself.

    And then I started studying all of the various experiments of socialism throughout history since, as most socialists say now and I did then, maybe they just “got it wrong”, and I found that socialism invariably ends in misery and a waste of opportunities.

    Then I was done.

    But I guess it helps if you’ve had some first hand experience with it, because only then can you recognize, truly, what a monstrous lie socialism is.
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..Learning How to Live With Having Been a TraitorMy Profile

  25. 25
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    And to the rest of you all: Thank you! I appreciate it, but I will never ever forget my stupidity and working for what is wrong. It is a feeling of guilt, well earned, but it is also a gift. It sustains me. It bolsters me when I find myself faltering in the face of the bromides of the reds, and it hardens my resolve in opposing them.

    And having read their book is an asset too. I know them, and that combined with my hatred of their soulless, disgusting ideology, is more effective than just hatred alone.

    I, and my fellow converts from socialism, are their worst enemies. Just witness their fury whenever somebody, anybody, diverts in the slightest from their hateful, inhuman catechism. They can’t fool us, because we were once them, and we can mingle among them effortlessly because we used to be them too.

    It comes with a price, the price of knowing that you were wrong and that you, through your actions or inactions, helped evil succeed, but that price helps to keep you focused on destroying them. Destroying them using their own weapons against them. Stabbing them in the back as they have stabbed countless millions in the back.

    Turnabout is fair play. That sustains me.

    But it doesn’t make anything I’ve done undone. All I can do is to help teach future generations better.

    And that will be enough.
    Emperor Misha I recently posted..Learning How to Live With Having Been a TraitorMy Profile