They’re Turning Out Well

Not to brag or anything (which is a clear sign to anybody knowing His Imperial Majesty that he’s about to do just that), but our Imperial Heirs just got their report cards and both of them tested above the “Advanced” category.

Which, of course, led to His Imperial Majesty reacting as any responsible, loving father would react: Calling the two rug rats on the carpet after telling them to drop their shit and report to me ASAP. Which they did. Because they’re good little soldiers.

Followed by me having them at attention while I furrowed my brow while looking at their report cards, looking from one to the other and then finally saying: “Sons, I don’t know of a polite way of putting this, but it has to be said. I’ve looked at your report cards and, well…”

You could hear a pin dropping at this point and much fidgeting was going on.

“Way to GO, kids. OO-rah!”

Mheh. I’m an asshole, I know it.

Seriously, though, I had been worried about them. They have good genes on both sides and they’d been stuck on idle for a while because they didn’t really need to make an effort, and I was waiting to see if they’d get over it. Obviously they did.

Yes, I’m a proud daddy today and I let them know. I also let them know that they’d damn well better keep it up.

See, life ain’t all shit in OgabeTopia.



  1. 1
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    I remember my nieces first report card. I was expecting the usual A’s, B’s C’s sort of thing. What I saw was politically correct don’t hut the little darlings “fweeings” sort of crap. I asked my brother about it and he said that’s what the send out these days.

    Since I didn’t want to detonate in front of my niece, I “translated” it to her. I had her in hysterics. (She was about 6-7 and it was first grade)

    She graduated collage last year. On her mortarboard my brother had taped a sign that said:

    “Debt FREE!” :em01:

    She got a degree in psychology over my advice to get a degree in something useful. She’s working part time in a kennel while she saves up the money for a masters.

    My nephew, who to be honest, was not the greatest student on earth, graduated high school last year and then wasted a year goofing off. Then he figured out what he wanted to do, (And didn’t want to take my advice on joining the French Foreign Legion), and is in auto mechanics school.

    He’s doing damn well too. He has a knack for it.

    He too will graduate debt free thanks to a trust fun my late uncle set up for them. My wife is already wondering when she can get her nephew to take care of her car for free. (She’s a reformed communist from the PRC)

  2. 2
    LC Sir Rurik, K.o.E. growls and barks:

    And they also receive another “Way to GO, kids. OO-rah!” from Uncle Rurik. :em01:

  3. 3
    angrywebmaster growls and barks:

    Don’t forget the bribes rewards for a job well done.

  4. 4
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    No surprise there, look who their mother is…

  5. 5
    Terrapod growls and barks:

    Heh – Good work there – I think this post sums it up pretty well

    Carry on

  6. 6
    LC Ohio Right Wing Nut growls and barks:

    GREAT JOB :em01:

  7. 7
    pedro4 growls and barks:

    My first born will graduate from West Point in 29 days, if he completes his honors thesis. When he was accepted there a friend told me that he was not surprised…”You always made him shake my hand firmly and look me in the eye”. I suspect that your children say things like “please”, thank you, yes (not yeah), sir, and m’amm.

    Good job.

  8. 8
    Library Czar growls and barks:

    Congrats and thank your first born for their service for us.

  9. 9
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    Library Czar says:

    No surprise there, look who their mother is…

    Score! :em05:

  10. 10
    irish19 growls and barks:

    pedro4 @ #:
    What Library Czar said.
    Congratulations to you, herself, and the heirs for a job well done.

  11. 11
    LC Spare Parts growls and barks:

    Schools suck: every last one of them. Nobody learns what leads to success in life in school. Those things are Not taught there. Schools are conformatoriums. Want to graduate? Satisfy those in authority who run them. Next to basic skills, the so called “knowledge” one gets from this lot is next to useless with the exception of hard sciences. I dated a teacher who believes her own propaganda that “a degree is an emblem of accomplishment.” What it really signifies is Submission and the willingness to continue being subordinate. Pat Buchanan said, “education in this country is a Racket.” But every institution is.

  12. 12
    LC Grammar Czar, G.L.O.R. growls and barks:

    LC Spare Parts says:

    Next to basic skills, the so called “knowledge” one gets from this lot is next to useless with the exception of hard sciences.

    I trust that you are adding writing to that list of basic skills. If I were hiring these days, there are quite a few who would be looking elsewhere because their writing is atrocious. If you can’t communicate effectively, well then…what’s the point?

  13. 13
    Lady H growls and barks:

    My now 15 year old was stuck on “Idle” for a bit too, Sire, but he learned his lesson by being put in a class the following year which he abhorred. Since then, all homework, study, various assignments are done, when they’re supposed to be done. 😉

  14. 14
    Lady H growls and barks:

    Oh, and btw, I’m teaching him cursive writing this summer. Obviously, it’s (penmanship) not important in school anymore.

  15. 15
    Emperor Misha I growls and barks:

    Lady H says:

    Oh, and btw, I’m teaching him cursive writing this summer. Obviously, it’s (penmanship) not important in school anymore.

    Admirable, and I agree with your determination to do so.

    I positively abhor the neutered horse crap they teach kids nowadays, if they even bother to teach them to use a pen at all.

    It has no soul, no personality, and no pride in the quality of their writing.